Your attitude on a girls night out

[Kaine]

Hey guys

This article was written by a girl and suggests that its good for the guy for the girl to have their girls nights

http://askmen.com/dating/heidi_100/130_dating_girl.html

Do you believe that in practice that this is true in all the stated points?

Do you usually endorse that she go out, deny her or leave it up to her?

The article "seems" to make some sense, and it would prompt one to promote the GF to go out with her friends.

Now saying that, the more you become accustomed to any culture or environment, the more you become it. Certainly the partying and single life of her friends influencing the possiblity of a flow on effect of negative behaviour/attitude in your relationship. For instance to decrease the likelyhood of you adopting a lazy attitude, hang around active outgoing people.

Has actively insisting she have her girls night influenced your LTRs positively or negatively?


Kaine

 

[penkitten]

alrighty here we go ...

if she says she is going to have one , what can you do if you dont like it? tell her ? no thats petty
put your foot down? no , she is sure to go then
instead you say , "oh crap, i made plans to surprize you and take you someone i thought you would love to go "
if she says why didnt you tell me ?
you say "duh honey it was a surprize and it took so much effort"

there now you can do that guilt pull and she probally will take your offer on the somewhere she would love to go .

now all you gotta do is think fast and find something to do fast.

 

[scordate]

i agree almost 100 % with the article

a DJ should not be insecure about his woman !

just make sure to have YOUR night out with the boys

it might also be good to let your woman see you interact with her girlfriends, really flirting in such an outrageous way that you dont get any flak for it later on; fx. when you drop her off at their restaurant before going to guys-meeting; drop in saying "Hi just wanted to see what kind of nymphomaniac sex-starved woman my GF is going to spent an evening with"; trust me, they will be giggling all over the floor other lines; looking around the room: "so... where are all the male strippers... or is that for later on ?"

this will let your woman see that you are attractive to her GF's, should she not be there
and we all know what a womans main fear is ? yup, losing a boyfriend to a girlfriend !

if you still feel insecure, give her one h*** of a love-session the evening/night before her night out

face it; she decides how faithfull she will be to do

clinging to her will *not* repeat *not* help you in any positive way

good luck and have a great boys night out too
but dont make it a competition on who had the greatest fun

/ scordate

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by scordate
i agree almost 100 % with the article

a DJ should not be insecure about his woman !

just make sure to have YOUR night out with the boys

I agree that a DJ shouldn't be insecure but at the same time it's good to have a guy's night out but it isn't necessary.

Why should a guy relegate to just one night out? Unless you set it up to see your girl every night (why ), you should be going out with friends anyway on any given night.

I don't go for the 'tit for tat' mentality that just because SHE does something, I should do it. I see it as, I'M A FVCKING DJ, I'M DOING WHATEVER I WANT ANYWAY!!!

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Exactly! In my 9 years of marriage my attitude towards Girls Night Out with my wife has always been, "Have fun."

Girls night out is ******** for 'sh!t test'. If a woman is going to cheat on you she doesn't need a GNO to do so. She'll find a way to cheat and all the posessiveness in the world wont restore a lack of desire on her part. You wont be averting her opportunity to cheat on you by denying her a GNO or worse, getting sulky and pvssied when she tells you she wants to go out with friends. You only fail a sh!t test and get her impression of your confidence dropped.

Even when we were dating my attitude (including her bachelorette party) was 'go ahead'. The minute I get all AFC about it is when I give the power back to her. Remember, women communicate covertly and subtley. By allowing and even encouraging a GNO you send the subliminal message that says "have a good time because I'm confident enough in myself to know that if you do decide to fool around on me there are plenty of other women who'll want what I have to offer."

 

[Desdinova]

In the beginning of any relationship, the guy will most likely get jealous when the woman is having a GNO. He'd rather have her spend time with him!

When the relationship progresses and the two spend lots of time together, a GNO is a very small break to enjoy doing things separately. I personally love it when my woman has a GNO. I get some peace and quiet around the house to indulge in my hobbies without interruption.

 

[DJDamage]

I do not believe I agree with 100% of the article. The article mentioned that your woman will probably flirt with other guys. Isn't the act of flirting with another man while being in LTR a sign of disrespect??

What happens if your woman goes to meet her girl friends but a few of her guys friends will be there as well. Should you be concerned?? Should you even come along with her in this case?

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Understand this article is advice from a woman, so buyers beware.

The trick for an LTR or even Married DJ when confronting the GNO is not simply to pass her sh!t test, but to hand it back to her. As I said, it's a test of confidence, but it's not limited just to the guy.

I will agree, early in a relationship a GNO is a diss, even if it's not intended as such. Understand that if she insists on a GNO early on it's an indicator of things to come and most likely implies a lack of (at least complete) interest in you. Consider it a gift and act accordingly.

Later in an LTR or Marriage it becomes the sh!t test I described. I think it's also relative to the frequency she insists on going on a GNO. If it's once every 2-3 months then it's understandable and allows a guy an opportunity to display confidence behaviors. If she does a GNO every other week (much less 'every Friday night as the article asserts), you've probably got a problem. In either case it's important to NEVER allow her to percieve you as anything less than 100% confident in yourself by becoming posessive. Take appropriate countermeasures or preparations to confidently leave her, but always maintain an air of maturity in your resolution. It's when you go wishy washy or tolerate her disrespect of you that you'll begin your backslide to AFCness and then you wont be re-earnig that respect at all.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Alright I'll remit, this article is complete female horsh!t. Upon further review I feel compelled to tear this b!tch apart - though I do maintain that a man consenting to his woman's desire to go on a GNO is still an exercise in confidence behaviors.

once you grasp the potential payback a girls' night has to offer, you will be so appreciative of the ritual that you might even offer to help her pick out a pair of shoes to match her outfit.

Only a chick would entertain the idea that any desirable male would EVER offer to go shoe shopping with a woman. In 9 years of marriage I have never bought shoes with or for my wife and were I to do so I'm sure she'd question my masculinity.

For you, this tacit agreement translates into scores of unrestricted nights out with the guys for drinks, sports matches or wherever your whims might take you. And this luxury will be granted to you with no explanation needed, and no objections or criticisms on her part.

Let me explain something here, no woman should EVER be granting anything. No woman should ever even think she is allowing you to do anything, much less be the arbiter of your freedom. Any woman who feels entitled to a GNO in order to allow you your freedom is an automatic NEXT.

Flirting with other men (within reason, of course) will make your woman feel sexy and desirable....Instead, your woman will go home to you. And when she does, her sexual appetite will be revved up, and you will reap the benefits of other men's labor

Mmm, just what I want, my wife's sexual appetite to be 'reved up' by other guys. Only female 'logic' works like this. So let me understand this correctly, if I go out with my boys to a strip club, come home drunk, horny and reeking of stripper perfume, my wife ought to be appreciative of my state and want to fvck me like a wild animal? Afterall she'll reap the benefits of other women's efforts, right? Unfortunately flirting with other men wont make my wife feel sexy and desirable by me.

,...the opportunity for a woman to "express her feelings" to her girlfriends is a natural way of relieving stress; your woman will be more relaxed when she returns home.

Hmmm,..but didn't she just make the case for how worked up and excited she'd be for me upon returning home after flirting all night with other men?

If she has friends who are single, a night out with them will remind her of some of the less-than-exciting aspects of being on her own.

Or then again it may remind her of opportunities she's missed out on while she's been busy babysitting a guy who she feels she grants freedom to rather than him dictating his own freedom.

For a woman, the fact that her boyfriend trusts her is generally a good indication that she is in a mature, stable relationship.

Unless of course she's too immature to realize this. A woman who needs to have a GNO "every Friday night" would certainly be suspect of falling into the 'immature' catagory.

Therefore, if you are relaxed and confident that your woman will be faithful to you, she is more likely to honor your confidence.

Women NEVER 'honor' confidence, they either recognize it or they dont. Unless pressed for it, women will NEVER overtly express an appreciation for a man's confidence. She will however covertly express this.

This not only means that she is more likely to trust you (remember that jealousy on your part breeds jealousy on hers), but she is also more likely to be loyal.

I will agree that jealousy breeds jealousy, but who is the initiating party in this article? Who initiates the test of confidence? (see sh!t test). Why, it's the woman. I wonder how many women would agree that it strengthens a relationship when a man goes out on the town with the express purpose to flirt and get turned on? And a woman who goes out on a GNO every Friday night hardly meets my definition of loyalty.

 

[DJDamage]

Originally posted by Rollo Tomassi
Let me explain something here, no woman should EVER be granting anything. No woman should ever even think she is allowing you to do anything, much less be the arbiter of your freedom. Any woman who feels entitled to a GNO in order to allow you your freedom is an automatic NEXT.

Mmm, just what I want, my wife's sexual appetite to be 'reved up' by other guys. Only female 'logic' works like this. So let me understand this correctly, if I go out with my boys to a strip club, come home drunk, horny and reeking of stripper perfume, my wife ought to be appreciative of my state and want to fvck me like a wild animal? Afterall she'll reap the benefits of other women's efforts, right? Unfortunately flirting with other men wont make my wife feel sexy and desirable by me.

Now that is what I am talking about! good analysis Rollo. Any time a woman writes an article in order to help us men, we must be cautious with her advice because she sees things from her perspective and not ours. She is also looking out for what is best for her gender which may not be necessary beneficial for men. Her arguments in this article revolve around that women are in charge of the relationship and if us men don't like it then we are going to have problems. I cringe how women dating advice usually always centre's around the man always being the problem and not the woman. There is definatly an inferiority complex involved here where women are portrayed as princess goddesses while men are moronic peasants. Is there any wonder why men becoming more and more intimidated in approaching women??!!

When I was a bit younger I used to read Maxim but now I cannot even take a look at the articles any more. Every damn article is how to supplicate to a woman in order for her to spread her legs for you. They advocate that it does not matter how you get laid but as long as you do then you are doing something right.

The truth of the matter is that by accepting things you do not like about your gf behaviour in order to avoid conflict, you end up harming the relationship even more so.

 

[Lost In Translation]

A Street Pimp's Perspective

all i got to go on is what i know and what i see so here goes

lets say your womans name is Jennifer.

you been with Jen for 4 years or maybe even married to her.

she wants to go to a girls night out


DO I LET HER GO ?

yes thats right she comes and tells me she has been invited to a GNO and asks if it would be ok if she goes ?

**THIS HAPPENED TO ME IN A LTR**

my response

NO

if you friends want to go to the movies YES

if your friends want to go bowling YES

if you friends want to go mutha f*c*ing go-kart racing ! YES


but if your friends want you to go slut around drunk at the night clubs with them the answer is NO

she looked at me. he hand on my arm as she was asking me lol.

i said i want you to hang out with your friends MORE

go shopping with them. whatever BUT NO up in the clubs


now this may sound surreal but my woman at the time who was under my love and protection ACCEPTED MY ANSWER and said ok and was cool about it.

her options ? NONE. she want to get booted out the door ?

i am a man i am not going to take ANY **** from her. i am the boss i make the final decision. it is the best decision to PROTECT HER. what would happen she comes home crying saying she was so drunk and accidently cheated on me ?

AFC i accept it and learn to live with it ? get therapy with her ?

I F*C*ING KILL HER THATS WHAT !

she asked me at the start what would you do if your wife cheated on you ?

i said i would divorce her immediatley

she said what if you have a kid with her ?

i say i don't care if i have 10 kids !!!! i still divorce her !

and if the kids are old enough to get over losing their mother in a tragic accident i would hire a hitman to kill the b*tch

MY WOMAN WAS VERY WELL BEHAVED.

yes i have had LTRs with chicks who were the TOTAL OPPOSITE.

now these opposite chicks are the ones you guys are discussing.

modern women 2005. think they run the show. you say NO they go to the clubs anyway. that is not how a man and woman supposed to work but i will try and let you see why a GNO is not cool for these types more than my innocent well behaved WOMAN i used to have.

they can go hang with their friends. anytime right ?

what goes on with these hoes up in the clubs ?

ALCOHOL / SEX / DRUGS

your greatest enemy in this situation is HER FRIENDS. i am assuming you are not with a cheating h0.

now your woman Jen has been with you for 3 years. she hangs with YOU. not much with her girls since she is in a LTR.

he friends are mostly single. now watch this

THEY HATCH A PLOT TO MAKE HER CHEAT ON YOU SO YOU DUMP HER AND SHE IS BACK WITH THEM MORE

you don't think these women today are so evil ?

you know nothing of women !

you don't think they would destroy their friends happiness just so she will be single and miserable like them ?

misery loves company ! especially miserable women !

TAKE A LONG HARD LOOK AT HER FRIENDS if are *cough* SECURE IN YOUR MANHOOD *bull$hit* enough to let her up in the clubs with her single *cough $lut cough* friends !

are these women wh0res ? do they sleep around ? do they drink too much ? has she ever told you stories about how big a slut$ they are ?

forget this AFC bumping and grinding BEST CASE scenerio $hit.

her friends will get her VERY DRUNK and set her up with a guy to f*c*

I HAVE HAD THIS HAPPEN TO ME !

save the time and petrol trying to rescue your girl from cheating on you cause her drunk single friends are jealous of your LTR and want it to end.

DON'T LET YOUR WOMAN IN A LTR UP IN THE CLUBS PERIOD


Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

 

[MindOverMatter]

I agree with DJ LIT 100% (thanks for linking me the thread bro). Girls that are in LTRs have no business going to clubs without their man.

If I was just casually seeing a girl and she went out with her friends to a club, I wouldn't give a sh!t because it's just casual, and I know that it will end soon and most of the time I have a back up or two. So there's no point in me stressing out since I have it under control.

In a LTR, both sides invest into the relationship. So obviously when I invest into a relationship, I expect the girl to do the same. I don't get into LTRs often because I'm very picky about who I go exclusive with, but when I do, I don't stray, I don't game other girls, and I generally don't have back ups. That's a big sacrifice on my part and I make the girl aware of it.

Like I said, I am picky about who I LTR with. If I am seeing a girl and she likes to go out clubbing/partying a lot, she isn't LTR material. From experiance, I know that you cannot turn a club ho into a decent girlfriend. So I don't waste my time with that sh!t.

If a girl wants to go get drunk at a club with her friends, while her man stays at home, she has no place being in a relationship. Decent girlfriends don't go get drunk at places where guys will be constantly trying to get some easy pvssy from them while their man is at home.

She can save that "only wanting to go dance with my girls" bullsh!t for a sucker that is dumb enough to buy it. I've met, hooked up with, and f*cked taken girls from clubs who were just there to "dance with their girls". There's no way I'll be one of those suckers that she comes home to after a night of being a ho. And like LIT mentioned, there's no f*cking way I'm gonna be the guy on the other end of the phoneline she calls up crying and telling she has a confession to make.

If a girl I'm in a LTR wants to go to a party or a club, and I'm not included, it's done. If I tell her she can't go, she will go behind my back. The only way for me to be happy in this scenario is to break it off, and find a better girl. I want a real woman that has class, and respects herself and her man. I don't want a club ho. If she wants to live the life of a club ho, she will have to do it without me by her side.

My advice for you guys. Don't be too willing to settle in a relationship with every girl you meet. Only be exclusive with quiet, respectfull girls. If she is the type of a girl that wants to stay at home and watch a movie with you instead of going out for a night on the town, this is girlfriend material. And don't go into LTRs with girls you meet at clubs. That's ho territory.

 

[Lost In Translation]

MindOverMatter
If I am seeing a girl and she likes to go out clubbing/partying a lot, she isn't LTR material. From experiance, I know that you cannot turn a club ho into a decent girlfriend. So I don't waste my time with that sh!t.

yes snoop dogg said you can't make a h0 a housewife and it's true

i have tried to turn a club h0 into a girlfriend before

these pimps are professionals

KIDS..... DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME !

MindOverMatter
Decent girlfriends don't go get drunk at places where guys will be constantly trying to get some easy pvssy from them while their man is at home.

listen to MindOverMatter !

MindOverMatter
She can save that "only wanting to go dance with my girls" bullsh!t for a sucker that is dumb enough to buy it.

MindOverMatter
I've met, hooked up with, and f*cked taken girls from clubs who were just there to "dance with their girls".

if i had a dollar for every chick with a boyfriend thats having an innocent night out with her friends that i hooked up with

do you want to hook up with Jessica ? she has a boyfriend...

THEIR FRIENDS PIMP THEM OUT ! YOU WOMENS RIGHTS LOVING AFC'S ARE BLIND !

MindOverMatter
don't go into LTRs with girls you meet at clubs. That's ho territory.

wisdom for the ages


Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

Quote: Player_Supreme
“ Your woman in my opinion shouldn't be talking to an ex. It's ok to have men friends but friends whom she used to suck their dycks is not in my picture. “

Quote: PuertoRican_Lover
“ the 'pimp' mentality works today because you are living in a time such that there are an overabundance if hors - this is the Pimps playground!! Pimps and hors go together like bread and butter - they are complementary natures!!! Pimps need hors like hors need pimps!! “

 

[DJDamage]

I hear what some of the stuff you are saying guys and I agree with you but not everything is black and white when it comes to LTR.

What do you do if a chick does not tell you where she is going? after all you are not with her 24 hrs a day 7 days a week. If she wants to go out to GNO and not going to tell (how are you going to find out?? and should that even become an issue if she goes once every 2-3 weeks?) As well if you put your foot down and say 'NO" as LIT mentioned, isn't she going to see it as you being a control freak which will give her slvtty girlfriends more ammo to plot against you and bring you down.

If you do not allow her to go to GNO, what about the possible conflicts that could arise when you want to go out with the Boyz and she starts b1tching about double standerds??!!

Any feedback would help.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Guys, why are you afraid of other guys (mostly AFCs at that) hitting on your girl? Isn't she trustworthy? Doesn't she know that you are best guy that she could ever date? Clue me in fellas.

 

[penkitten]

complete wow!

first of all the guy that posted this thread never said she was going to dress up as a ***** and go out with single chicks all nite to the bars.

he did say she and her gfs wanted to go on a girls nite out and wanted to know what to do since he was insecure.

second, i gave him advise based on that only.

if your gf wants to go to a niteclub dressed as a slut, the answer is hell no.

if your gf wants to have a nite out with her gfs going to dinner and a movie or something else like shopping, there is nothing you can say to stop her and trying to will be bad on you.

if you do not think it will be bad on you try it . say no. watch her go any freggin ways.

 

[Kaine]

This has been a great thread and has even made for some great discussion in the main forum.


I suppose I'm in a good situation, because my girl has been asked by her single "friend" to go on several occasions, but she's turned her down everytime.

That in essence can be seen as a sign of high interest. Obviously she has weighed out that one night out with the girls is one night without been with me. Great, that means she sees great value in me.


She has asked whether I would mind that she went out clubbing with just girls, and I've always been the state of mind that if she wanted that she could go for it. To say no would "appear" controlling, hence needy and hence not the prize mentality. So never been that frame to do so. Anyway I was pleased with her decisions.


However after reading that article I was even tempted to actively push her to do it. But after reading your shared experiences and opinions it seems like a really bad idea. Plus it seems her hoe bag friends may be evil after all and not in the best interest of our relationship.


I trully appreciated the insight as to why her hoe bag single friends may want to sabotage your relationship. I don't like them poisoning her mind with the grass is greener mentality at the same I don't want to tell her what evil hoes they are and not to hang with them.


I think those kind of party girls that need to go out, thrive on male attention to validate them, usually are of low self esteen and choose abusive boyfriends.

Although I would rather they not corrupt my girl yet I don't want to appear needy.


Interesting Dilemma


Kaine

 

[Crank_It_Up]

No harm in an occasional night out with the girls.

Perhaps she might cheat on you, perhaps not. In either case, the sooner you find out, the better off you are. Trying to keep her locked up and away from other men is a recipe for disaster.

However, if she has a need to go clubbing with her single friends frequently, then the relationship might not be fulfilling to her. In that case, confront her about it, if no progress can be made through discussion, keep looking.

 

[Kaine]

Perhaps its not so much the event but the people she eventuates with.

Hang out with bad people you end up doing bad things. Hang out with people with a poor belief system often enough and one day you are likely to slip


Kaine

 

[dietzcoi]

It is just a bad idea. My ex-wife went out with the hoes too.. now she is my ex wife! Did GNO cause this or was it a symptom? Who knows, but it seems a bad idea. You are just asking for trouble, what idiot asks for trouble? There are a few of them on this board...

My poor son just got dumped by his hoe GF too.. pretty much same type of scenario. He blames himself, but the GF was a hoe accident waiting to happen anyway...

DIetzcoi