Your 40s and online dating

[SingAgn]

I'm 44 and divorced for 4 months now. I've been online dating the last 4 months on a few sites and I've had no problem getting dates and escalating, but the women often seem flaky. Almost like they have dozens of guys competing for them. I haven't had as many dates from developing it live out in the world. My question, is the supply of women whether it is on OKCupid, Match or POF damaged goods for the most part or should I not generalize, keep working it hoping to find a woman I want to be with?

 

[Poonani Maker]

It would seem that the "supply of women" is less and less. Seriously. If more guys were able to get laid, then this "pvssy is everything" mentality would get less and less. For real, pvssy is just downright nasty and uncouth sometimes and not all that, I mean just because it's a hot girl doesn't mean her pvssy is good. It can be cavernous and just impossible to get off in it unless you put her in a tight position aka doggy. But most guys are so inexperienced and hard-up for poon that they will stop at nothing and grovel like a car salesman to obtain the poon, Any poon. Thus, the supply problems. Many of these fatties and really not nothin girls are getting played up by HOT guys who have never felt a real live t!ttie before.

 

[bluenorther]

We've been posting about this ad nauseum. POF women are flakes; Match sends out fake profiles, yadayada. Nobody here is having good results anymore.
What turns too many women off is the horde of desperate panting d!ckheads sending cr0tch pics and generally behaving badly. Sadly, there's no way to filter them out.

 

[Knight's Cross]

42 Here, been Divorced for over a decade. I've tried Match on and off for awhile. At 40+ you find lots of single mommies that are looking to snag a guy to take care of them. As well I get hit on by LOTS of women that think in shape means they walked from their car to the grocery store.
Yes the pond is certainly less stocked at this age. At least with decent catches.
On a positive note that's forced me to get out of my smaller world and explore where the women are. For me, getting downtown, running, athletic events. That's the way to go.
KC

 

[Poonani Maker]

We've been posting about this ad nauseum. POF women are flakes; Match sends out fake profiles, yadayada. Nobody here is having good results anymore.
What turns too many women off is the horde of desperate panting d!ckheads sending cr0tch pics and generally behaving badly. Sadly, there's no way to filter them out.

Yeah, and these slobbering goons comment on every pic, just stoopid one-liners..she'll have 30 comments per pic and she's not even a 6.

But just 40 minutes ago (I took a long nap, I'm on vacation for a whole month - planned it that way), I received a message on my okcupid app to my phone, that read: "Hi! I noticed you check out my profile. I am getting off of this site so call me XXX-XXX-XXXX." Carissa

Her profile is deleted, I have no idea what she looked like - must not have been much or I would've messaged her. So I google her phone and come up with a lot of craigslist ads for furniture, and a baby stroller, car seat. Pictures of some of the furniture show her 7 to 9 year old son with the caption saying "boy not included" and a couple of others say call "the-number-she-gave-me" or "another-number-of-a-dude"

so I will not call her lol, seems fishy

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

I'm 44 and divorced for 4 months now. I've been online dating the last 4 months on a few sites and I've had no problem getting dates and escalating, but the women often seem flaky. Almost like they have dozens of guys competing for them. I haven't had as many dates from developing it live out in the world. My question, is the supply of women whether it is on OKCupid, Match or POF damaged goods for the most part or should I not generalize, keep working it hoping to find a woman I want to be with?

If you absolutely KNEW, beyond the shadow of a doubt, as well as you know your own name, that the bolded part above was absolutely TRUE, then what would you do?

Now go and do THAT.

 

[nismo-4]

A man's online dating profile is only as strong as its WORST picture.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear SingAgain,
I don't think it's a waste of time at all,but still agree with the other guys that there are very few catches out there....The real value is the training it gives you in verbal skills,really so helpful in real life...Upon meeting you,a Lady on the loose can only have so many questions,having perfected replies to similar requests in the written arena,your responses have been well thought out,do it often enough you will remember the most effective tactics.

Another valuable attribute in on line dating is the ability to categorise various Women,and modify your responses accordingly...All in all,on line dating is very valuable,remember if you find a good one act quickly and aggressively,when chance comes by you will have to grab on its coat tails.

 

[The_411]

Trust me it's not worth it. Sure match.com has the barrier of entry of having to pay but that's it. Its extremely unbalanced in favor of women so unless you look like a movie star or are 9/10 online dating sucks. Not to mention online dating doesn't give you the ability to filter as well. Harder to tell if a girl is psycho harder to tell if she's being honest about what shape she is in, and what's she after. (doesn't mean it's hard) However, you're better off because chances are if a girl is worthwhile she's out and about. If she's online she's likely to have lots of baggage and that can be kids, mental illness, etc.

 

[Poonani Maker]

Trust me it's not worth it. Sure match.com has the barrier of entry of having to pay but that's it. Its extremely unbalanced in favor of women so unless you look like a movie star or are 9/10 online dating sucks. Not to mention online dating doesn't give you the ability to filter as well. Harder to tell if a girl is psycho harder to tell if she's being honest about what shape she is in, and what's she after. (doesn't mean it's hard) However, you're better off because chances are if a girl is worthwhile she's out and about. If she's online she's likely to have lots of baggage and that can be kids, mental illness, etc.

Right. IF there was a Review system (not this testimonial bull****), whereby guys could yay or nay a b!tch, and tell everyone if she flaked him on a date etc etc, that bad reviews stuff would rack up against said B!tch and then she'd never get any messages or views. That's how a dating site Should be, but I suppose, women would just no longer go on such a Fair site if it wasn't stacked in their favor so idk, but that's how it Should be...a rating system to tell if a woman on there is worth your time.

 

[BeDJ]

I received 3 numbers from match.com compared tp 150+ numbers from OKC within a 6 month period. Those are your odds.

 

[Zarky]

LOL again, what's with the "numbers?" I don't even get phone numbers anymore.

Aaaanyway I've not had problems getting laid online. I've banged 12 new girls in 2013 (2 were not from online but were in a couple of swingers foursomes that I went to with a girl I met online).

Each year gets better and better for me and I assume it will continue to do so.

And FYI I'm short and look like a cross between John Cryer and Alfred E. Neuman. So it ain't looks. I just spam out literally thousands of intro emails and cull the women who don't seem like they're going to put out quickly. Simple as that. Of course that knocks out any of the few 7s and (rare!) 8s that are online and leaves the 5s and 6s. But that's fine by me 'cause I'm looking for sex ASAP.

Takes a lot of time, yeah, but that's like any pursuit or hobby in life.

The last "flake" I had was in 2010 when some British broad said she's be 20 minutes late because her friend had an "emotional problem" and after 10 minutes I told her to forget it. I haven't had a woman actually stand me up since early 2003.

 

[SingAgn]

Awesome advice

Dear SingAgain,
I don't think it's a waste of time at all,but still agree with the other guys that there are very few catches out there....The real value is the training it gives you in verbal skills,really so helpful in real life...Upon meeting you,a Lady on the loose can only have so many questions,having perfected replies to similar requests in the written arena,your responses have been well thought out,do it often enough you will remember the most effective tactics.

Another valuable attribute in on line dating is the ability to categorise various Women,and modify your responses accordingly...All in all,on line dating is very valuable,remember if you find a good one act quickly and aggressively,when chance comes by you will have to grab on its coat tails.

Great advice. I agree. Getting confidence with online dates is starting to transfer out into the real world. I wish I would have known what I know now 20 yrs ago!

 

[Zarky]

I think the beauty of online dating is that you can talk to and date so many women that you quickly see everything out there and have pretty much every interaction possible.

It's like learning golf by hitting at a driving range. Sure, it's not like playing on a course but you can really groove your stroke by hitting ball after ball after ball. Same with online dating. You can go with so many different women that you can groove your seduction skills. Maybe not approach skills (just like you can't really practice chip shots and bunker play at the driving range) but you can get the major mid-game stuff down.

 

[Stagger Lee]

LOL again, what's with the "numbers?" I don't even get phone numbers anymore.

Aaaanyway I've not had problems getting laid online. I've banged 12 new girls in 2013 (2 were not from online but were in a couple of swingers foursomes that I went to with a girl I met online).

Each year gets better and better for me and I assume it will continue to do so.

And FYI I'm short and look like a cross between John Cryer and Alfred E. Neuman. So it ain't looks. I just spam out literally thousands of intro emails and cull the women who don't seem like they're going to put out quickly. Simple as that. Of course that knocks out any of the few 7s and (rare!) 8s that are online and leaves the 5s and 6s. But that's fine by me 'cause I'm looking for sex ASAP.

Takes a lot of time, yeah, but that's like any pursuit or hobby in life.

The last "flake" I had was in 2010 when some British broad said she's be 20 minutes late because her friend had an "emotional problem" and after 10 minutes I told her to forget it. I haven't had a woman actually stand me up since early 2003.

Not hating or anything but if looks didn't matter you wouldn't have to play the numbers game into the thousands of intro messages, lower your standards to 5's and 6's (if they're even that) who are sluts to get one or two lays a month.

You do realize better looking guys send far, far fewer message and quickly fvck the 7,8's and up, right? Don't believe me? Try it for yourself and make a profile of a younger, very good looking guy and see how much easier/faster it is to get numbers and agreements to meet up with girls that wouldn't even answer your message on your regular profile.

But I agree with you, online with massive numbers game plus lowering your standards is the surest way to get a lay for an average/unattractive guy.

 

[nismo-4]

Online dating typically does eliminate the fear of rejection that many men have. The competition is stiff, but what can you say? It's like that all over the dating market. Oh yeah, you can spin plates like a mother**ker, but it really matters when they don't flake.

 

[Zarky]

Not hating or anything but if looks didn't matter you wouldn't have to play the numbers game into the thousands of intro messages, lower your standards to 5's and 6's (if they're even that) who are sluts to get one or two lays a month.

You do realize better looking guys send far, far fewer message and quickly fvck the 7,8's and up, right? Don't believe me? Try it for yourself and make a profile of a younger, very good looking guy and see how much easier/faster it is to get numbers and agreements to meet up with girls that wouldn't even answer your message on your regular profile.

LOL my friend, I've done that a few times already. In 2004 and 2008 I tried out numerous profiles with guys who were better looking, worse looking, taller, shorter, ugly, super athletic... you name it.

What I found was that as long as you're average looking or better, the response rate is pretty much the same: LOW :crackup:

Heartiste has a post from several months ago which I'm not going to bother looking up that shows as much.

The hottest guy had a response rate slightly better than mine. He'd get 25 responses out of 100 emails sent rather than my 20 responses. A difference for sure, but not that huge. And the women were no better looking.

Sure, if my looks were improved, I'm sure I'd get hotter women. But if I were richer, I would too. If I had a better job, I would too. If I were wittier, I would too. If I were more aggressive, I would too. Etc. Etc. etc.

Again, boiling it down to looks alone is retarded.

 

[Stagger Lee]

LOL my friend, I've done that a few times already. In 2004 and 2008 I tried out numerous profiles with guys who were better looking, worse looking, taller, shorter, ugly, super athletic... you name it.

What I found was that as long as you're average looking or better, the response rate is pretty much the same: LOW :crackup:

Heartiste has a post from several months ago which I'm not going to bother looking up that shows as much.

The hottest guy had a response rate slightly better than mine. He'd get 25 responses out of 100 emails sent rather than my 20 responses. A difference for sure, but not that huge. And the women were no better looking.

The response rate may only go up slightly if you're already average or better, but being younger and having really good pics makes a big difference in turning those responses into meet ups. My experimentation and others I've seen shown that attractiveness of the pics used and age makes a big difference in the response rate from attractive women and willingness to meet up.

Sure, if my looks were improved, I'm sure I'd get hotter women. But if I were richer, I would too. If I had a better job, I would too. If I were wittier, I would too. If I were more aggressive, I would too. Etc. Etc. etc. Again, boiling it down to looks alone is retarded.

Except that's not really true. How hard is it to be witty, lie about your job, and be aggressive (aggressiveness like wittiness only works if she's attracted to your pics) online? Do you really think younger good looking guys who are getting HB7-9's are all wittier and rich?

What's retard is how you throw everything against the wall and claim attracting HB7s is like Ragu and you have to have everything in there and it is all equally important. No, mostly you have to a certain level of looks and appearance. Without that it is very hard to work around it without great wealth and fame. A little better job, a little wittier, being aggressive etc isn't going to generally do it.

 

[Zarky]

Everything you say is merely speculation. You're offering no experiments, statistics, or anything. In fact the one recent experiment posted on Heartiste's blog shows that you're 100% wrong.

So I'm done wasting my time with this discussion unless you can point to some hard facts backing up your claims.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

20's, 30's or 40's I don't think the age matters all that much.

Pretty decent thread with some good views points.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=206725