Young women and daddy issues

[jophil28]

Women, on the other hand, seem to just breed contention. They get an inkling of power and turn into "dragon ladies", as he calls them. My preceptor at the lab can be a real ice b!tch as well. Difficult to work with at times.

I have always claimed that women execute power very poorly. I have seen woman change into overbearing monsters after a promotion. I have witnessed women, who were previously co-operative and collaberative, morph into Nazis following their move "upstairs".
For some unfathomable reason they always seem to ABUSE power that is conferred upon them. I am talking about power over others.

Women in the "caring" professions have 'power over others' handed to them as an integral part of their job.
Every teacher/social workers/ therapist /medical professional whom I have know was to some degree arrogant, self important, pompous and self righteous.

 

[guru1000]

Every teacher/social workers/ therapist /medical professional whom I have know was to some degree arrogant, self important, pompous and self righteous.

They are also in very unsatisfying relationships as a result. Even more reason to marry their work.

 

[Unbridled_Phoenix]

Hmmm...this reminds me of my ex, in 4 years she only spoke once of the fact that she found out her dad had another family when she was 13. I never really met or hung out with her family, but I got the impression her dad was the subject of lifelong derision and coldness from her mother. He very much looked like a defeated man.

I remember thinking "whoa" but then those were the days when red flags were ignored for a good bj!

 

[slaog]

I think it matters more when both parents are not normal. At least if they have one good parent theres a role model there. I definetly agree that parents play a big role in shaping somebodys life. I just have to look at my own family to see that.

 

[jophil28]

I think it matters more when both parents are not normal. At least if they have one good parent theres a role model there. I definetly agree that parents play a big role in shaping somebodys life. I just have to look at my own family to see that.

Have you heard of the concept of "complimentary pathology" ?

Unfortunately it is rare that one parent is a good role model.
Bad parents occur in pairs.
Craziness usually marries its compliment.

 

[Unbridled_Phoenix]

It was novel of you to be a nice guy and play it slow, thinking it would make for a relationship, but it is a trap that every guy on this site has fallen into before. I'm not suggesting you should be an a$$hole to get women; after all, a$$holes and bad boys are usually broke losers whose only way to get women is to be a douche.

However, your situation rings with a couple that I've been in, and when I look back, the common thread is that I should have escalated faster. If you seriously want a relationship, and it seems she does too, you MUST escalate. 90% of the drama expressed by men on this site happens during the "feeling each other out" stage, for that is the trickiest of them all. Once you have laid a woman, the balance of power shifts dramatically in your favor, unless she is a slvt who you don't want to take seriously anyway.

Temper your wholesome goodness with testosterone, and fvck her next time. Besides, if you are getting the feeling that she's really into you and could see something with you, she wants you to fvck her anyway!

As for what to do with this one, move on and learn your lessons from this experience. If she contacts you, then move forward. Or get some other plates spinning and then try to see her again, if she doesn't bite oh well, you're already off with the next one.

 

[jophil28]

...the walk to the door was a little awkward and the goodbye was even worse i kinda went for the kiss and she didnt then i had to turn quickly and hug instead. i said i wanted to kiss her but a hug will do for now.

THIS IS THE BAD PART, feeling like such a ***** when i got home i text her saying, i had fun, should have kissed her and wanted to make it up to her. she relpied she is in a weird place with a lot of baggage right now but said she wanted to remain friends, i replied i wanted another shot but understood where she was coming from but said the offer is on the table if she is interested, have a good night.

that is it up to right now, it was 4 days ago that happened and i would like to try again with her as i think we truely could be quite an item but do not know what to do???

You went for the kiss and she didn't ...ummm?? Did she turn her head?
SO then instead of taking firmer action like taking her face in your two palms and kissing her anyway ,you "turned it into a hug". That is a defeat behavior and she knew it.

Then you texted her with what amounted to an apology for the attempted kiss ! You wanted to make it up to her...for what ?
AT this point your grand plan was all over..in fact it was probably starting to tank during the second date when you followed her around instead of LEADING her around.

Dude let this one go, it is lost.
IF you had built the IL and the correct tension between you, she should have been ripping and tearing at you by the end of the third date.

THis woman is from a dysfunctional background and that usually also means 'abusive' in some way.
The mistake that you made was in believing that she would be totally enamored by your habitual "nice guy " behavior. After all, what woman would not appreciate your exceeding "niceness" after all the crap that she has grown up with ? Wrong !
Women like this are drawn to more of what they know, and in her case that means poor treatment, emotional abuse and neglect, parental cheating and lying...and that set the scene for her seeking out those "bad guys" .Their behavior is what she knows intimately.

SO you come along all and perfect and considerate...but she has no way of relating to you. SHe does not feel comfortable with your "sweetness" because it is so unfamiliar.
I bet that your were even MORE sweet and willing to please her on the third date ?

Stick around and learn what you are doing wrong and how it fix it before you go out and get FZed again out of ignorance.

 

[mrRuckus]

So much psychology is just mumbo jumbo.

Why is everyone permanently damaged from stuff that happened in the past? I mean really, wtf? I cut my legs up riding my bike when i was little.. i've had my kneecap on the other side of my knee. I'm not "traumatized" from activity and avoid anything active. So what valid reason do i have to be all broken up and crying on the inside and "unable to relate to [women|men] properly" just because one bozo when i was younger was a dolt?

People are just weak and nowadays are given a pass to be psycho because "it's not your fault!"



I can understand if you were molested or you have PTSD coming home from war, but you're all mentally defective because mommy and daddy got a divorce? Come the fvck on. The herd should leave these ones behind.

I mean, what mental giant has this thought process:
"Daddy cheated, therefore all men cheat."

It's the equivalent of "That man ran, so therefore all men can run including that guy in that wheelchair over there."

 

[Luveno]

I had recently gone on a date with a very attractive girl.

Knowing that many women harbor daddy issues, and those that do are more often than not damaged, I always try to get a good story from the girl about her family.

I had managed to make this girl feel comfortable enough to tell me, on the first date, that her father is a raging alcoholic. Huge red flag.

Also, she was the most passionless kisser I have ever encountered. It was like putting my face into a wall. Correlation?

I'm not calling her back.

 

[jophil28]

So much psychology is just mumbo jumbo.

Pseudo science which has become the new Astrology.

 

[jophil28]

So much psychology is just mumbo jumbo.

So what valid reason do i have to be all broken up and crying on the inside and "unable to relate to [women|men] properly" just because one bozo when i was younger was a dolt?

People are just weak and nowadays are given a pass to be psycho because "it's not your fault!"

YOu have to remember that there is a whole industry out there which makes huge money out of listening to whining "victims" for 55 minutes every Thursday at 2pm.

We needed some way of providing the mediocre with a way of making a living so we invented counseling.

 

[Mr. Me]

I have always claimed that women execute power very poorly. I have seen woman change into overbearing monsters after a promotion. I have witnessed women, who were previously co-operative and collaberative, morph into Nazis following their move "upstairs". For some unfathomable reason they always seem to ABUSE power that is conferred upon them. I am talking about power over others.

In general, I think what happens is that they believe that they MUST act that way to keep control and/or respect over the men they supervise. I think they believe that to keep their new position, they MUST exercise that level of power over others or have their superiors think they're not worthy of keeping the position.

Haven't we heard women correlate the behaviors of male bosses to female bosses when women complain that "if a man does it, he's looked at as a shrewd businessman, but if a woman does it, she's called a b1tch", indirectly meaning that they associate the two as being the same; that women see a man's firm, direct style of leadership and try to emulate it, but do so in a b1tchy way?

The problem is they're trying to act like men, but they're not wired to act like men. It's in that emulating it that they overcompensate. They can't do it the same way because internally it's not the same experience. For example, in the back of a man's mind, he's not concerned that he may lose his efficiency if he gives in to his female tendencies to break down and cry when overwhelmed, it's obviously not an issue. A man can have his gentler, reflective moments and still maintain authority, even garner more trust and respect in so doing, whereas the woman may feel she needs to keep up the tough exterior all the time no matter what - and just turn others off. Women execs weren't brought up to be men, they have no "training" as men. All the "coming into manhood" experiences and life lessons in our life we may go through from childhood on, through puberty and on, they never went through. All the experiences we have as men dealing with other men as men, they never went through. Their experience with men has always been different then a guy's experience with men. What the f@ck would they know? I think that's what accounts for the b1tchy ones. Just my two cents.

 

[TheBucketOfTruth]

YOu have to remember that there is a whole industry out there which makes huge money out of listening to whining "victims" for 55 minutes every Thursday at 2pm.

We needed some way of providing the mediocre with a way of making a living so we invented counseling.

I don't want to take this too far off-topic here, but this is a ludicrous assertion. Do you really think therapy, counseling, and psychiatry is as useless as it sounds? Sure there are some quacks that you'd have just like any other field, but you guys seem quite cynical about the whole thing.

 

[Jitterbug]

Teachers, at the bottom of the academic food chain, seem to make the worst SO's, and don't forget to add in the social workers, clinical psychologists, guidance officers and even some HR managers.

IT seems that the 'caring professions" have a magnetic pull for the loonies, ClusterB's, and the broken and wounded.

These women all work with the ill, the young, the powerless or the disadvantaged..Unfortunately their job encourages them to believe in and promote their personal superiority and self importance rather that deal with their own damaged psyches..

Avoid 'em all, trust me.

Man, this quote of yours worries me. Tracing back the girls I've dated in the last few years, I just realised that the vast majority are teachers and the rest are mostly in the caring professions. :nervous: I'm fvcked!

Currently I'm dating two primary school teachers with the same firstname. One female friend who's a primary school teacher keeps giving me hints to ask her out. Met a girl last night which I hit off with straight away and she seems even more keen than I am. Out of curiosity, I asked if she's a primary school teacher. She told me not yet, but she's studying to become one.

:nervous: uh oh!

 

[jophil28]

Man, this quote of yours worries me. Tracing back the girls I've dated in the last few years, I just realised that the vast majority are teachers and the rest are mostly in the caring professions. :nervous: I'm fvcked!

Currently I'm dating two primary school teachers with the same firstname. One female friend who's a primary school teacher keeps giving me hints to ask her out. Met a girl last night which I hit off with straight away and she seems even more keen than I am. Out of curiosity, I asked if she's a primary school teacher. She told me not yet, but she's studying to become one.

:nervous: uh oh!

Ding Dong. Schools in !

I dated a teacher for a few months when I was 41 years old. She and I had a huge falling out so she called my elderly parents to discuss my " relationship difficulties"' . THis woman could not see that calling my parents was absolutely out of line. I dumped her the next day and then she stalked me for over a year.

Good luck, Jitter.

 

[Jitterbug]

You dumped her first? Ah, too bad you didn't hold out a little longer! You'd have got suspended then maybe expelled!

What a looney bin!

Hope your parents at least got entertained then?

 

[penkitten]

everyone has family issues, because everyone has something going on in their family or something bad has happened to someone in their family. that is normal. (even if you were an orphan, that in itself is a huge family issue)

it is also normal to want to find an identity for yourself around that age.
(who the fvck am i? how do i describe myself to others?)

And when we try to define ourselves, the very first thing we do is grasp at the straws in our lives.(we talk about what we know, what we have experienced. pretend we are all journalists and we are all trying to write the best story we can.)

we may find it appealing to be different or try to be different by suggesting that we are who we are because of situations that we have encountered in our lives. (oh doesn't it make me unique that i survived my parents divorce? you should like me because i am strong. i have suffered in my lifetime and still came out on top. )

it really is so very common.

in fact, none of us are very different at all.
we all want the same things out of life.

sooner or later, we stop letting the experiences of our childhoods define us.
instead, we start letting our very own choiced decisions take lead role in that.

funny how we pick personas based on things like that , isn't it?

 

[slaog]

We men are falling for the daddy issue excuse for poor female behavior. Why can't women ever accept responsiblity for themselves and work to overcome any perceived injustices they experienced instead of using it as a copout.

I was abandond as a child, raised by an overwhelmed mother and an abusive, alcoholic father and I turned out all fvcked up; BUT I OVERCAME through sacrifice and determination to become a better person. And every single day of my life I work to improve.

I have never once in my life met a woman who accepted her responsiblity for how low quality she turned out to be. I've heard all the excuses: Daddy spoiled me, I was sexually abused, I didn't have a father, I had a mean father, my BF was verbally abusive, etc.

My last LTR with the histrionic hottie who was 50K in debt, had three dwi's, couldn't hold a job, had her heat shut off so she used the oven to heat the house, car was a total mess on the inside like she lived in it, etc., used this excuse: "I'm so fvcked up because I was so beautiful that I never had to develop or mature in anyway. I'm still 12 years old maturity wise." This is a valid reason for her developmental issues, but instead of growing and improving, it became her lifelong crutch for low quality behavior.

We all have issues, some worse than others; but once you become an adult, YOU are responsible for yourself. All the crutches and excuses are copouts. If you got problems, take actions to overcome instead of using it as cover for being a lazy piece of shiit trash.

And then these women will act up when their life starts to get away from them. They get fired, their unemployment checks are about to dry up, but instead of looking for work they cut themselves and call their mom crying. Mom then directs dad to send money. Or they will drag the whole side of their car against a building on purpose while having no insurance and call daddy crying and he will give her his car and put her on his insurance.

Fvck all the excuses. Excuses are exactly that: EXCUSES. It's bad enough adults have excuses for their low quality, but let's not add any credibiliity to it.

Very true. All excuses and no responsibility.


I will say though that maybe people don't know how to change. I mean some people don't actually know that its possible to change their life around. It should be thought in schools but they're just interested in cramming mainly useless information into people.

 

[jophil28]

Very true. All excuses and no responsibility.

I will say though that maybe people don't know how to change. I mean some people don't actually know that its possible to change their life around. It should be thought in schools but they're just interested in cramming mainly useless information into people.

Schools are now contributing to the problem by teaching children of minorities how to be perpetual victims . And women regard themselves as the largest minority group of all.
Schools, at the first two levels (at least ) are favoring girls and demasculinizing boys. Horseplay is banned, boys are forced to talk like girls, think like girls and NOt act like boys, children are encouraged to scrutinise their parents for "abusive behavior" and report back to teachers.( imagine how this is used by girls to perpetuate their beloved victim status)
And worst of all education is no longer based on achievement and accomplishments, but now centers on some trendy, touchy feelly, leftwing fads.

High school graduates cannot even write well enough to fill out a college application.

I have met and talked to the local school principal at a parents/ teachers/ citizens night.
The junior acedemic staff comprises fifty six female teachers and TWO male teachers.

The principal was a shiver looking for a spine to crawl up.

 

[Jitterbug]

...
Schools, at the first two levels (at least ) are favoring girls and demasculinizing boys. Horseplay is banned, boys are forced to talk like girls, think like girls and NOt act like boys, children are encouraged to scrutinise their parents for "abusive behavior" and report back to teachers.( imagine how this is used by girls to perpetuate their beloved victim status)
And worst of all education is no longer based on achievement and accomplishments, but now centers on some trendy, touchy feelly, leftwing fads.
....

I used to be a part of an Australian gov research project on primary & secondary education and have seen this. If you think the current generation of AFCs are wimpy and hopeless, well, they have nothing on the next generation. :/

###

jophil28, on the teachers thing, I found out that two of them are crazy and have given them the boots over the weekend. Now only two more teachers on the list to purge... and as if I have learned nothing from the "caring professions", I ended up getting a number from a charity worker the other night (dated one before).