Young people cant make good romantic decisions

[Pandora]

In the spirit of self awarness I cant really blame young women too much. I regret letting go 2 girls in particular when I was young. Both had some physical imperfections but they were actually good women. I was shallow and had abundance at the time. My life was a wreck in my 20s and early 30s and I was in no place to think about a future family.

Young people in general make bad romantic partner decisions. It takes life experience to know what is important in a partner. Add adundance to the mix of little life experience and you have a recipe for disaster.

I dont think that men should settle down before 35yrs old. They dont know what to look for. I also believe that young women should never be given the oppurtunity to pick their partner. This should be father/ uncles job.

If am now in a decent relationship but the " what if'" factor haunts me a lot.

 

[Dr.Suave]

I dont think that men should settle down before 35yrs old. They dont know what to look for. I also believe that young women should never be given the oppurtunity to pick their partner. This should be father/ uncles job.

I agree

 

[ManFromTartarus]

In all honesty even age isn't a guarantee that people will make the right decisions in choosing a partner. By my own admission I was past my mid 30's and still made a horrible decision in the person I married.

 

[Pandora]

In all honesty even age isn't a guarantee that people will make the right decisions in choosing a partner. By my own admission I was past my mid 30's and still made a horrible decision in the person I married.

LOL yeh man I hear that. Its very difficult finding good people at any age. Good people in general are difficult to come by. I am in my late 30's and I will probably still make a bad decision in picking my wife.

 

[Westminster]

In all honesty even age isn't a guarantee that people will make the right decisions in choosing a partner. By my own admission I was past my mid 30's and still made a horrible decision in the person I married.

That's a good point - and likewise I made a terrible decision by getting together with my ex-wife in my early 40s.

Having said that, I do think most people's judgment improves over time. A bit of experience can help. Belatedly, I think I've arrived at that point myself.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Age helps but that's no guarantee. Plenty of people never improve in many areas of their life no matter now much experience they have. Experience only helps if you actually choose to do something with the knowledge you gain.

Some people just don't make good decisions in life. Experience helps but the ones who tend to make poor life decisions will always be more prone to do so than others who make good ones.

In my experience, experience is often overrated.

 

[ManFromTartarus]

That's a good point - and likewise I made a terrible decision by getting together with my ex-wife in my early 40s.

Having said that, I do think most people's judgment improves over time. A bit of experience can help. Belatedly, I think I've arrived at that point myself.

Experience>Time

 

[ManFromTartarus]

I will probably still make a bad decision in picking my wife.

Don't curse yourself, with time, experience, and the knowledge you gain here, you can do better.

.... just don't make one of those crazy azz "farewell" threads.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You could change the title to say "Young people can't make good decisions".

It extends far beyond romantic decisions most times into their entire decision making process and their romantic decisions typically aren't any better or worse than their other ones, so I'm not sure it's really fair to single those out.

 

[Manure Spherian]

This should be father/ uncles job.

I’m in favor of this. You do know that bringing back women under the thumb of male family members would severely diminish game, pump and dump, and spinning plates right?

It would result in social stability, diminished social pathologies, increased birthrates, and most men having one woman. But the fun/party would end for some.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I have some friends who keep doing the same mistakes over and over despite being very experienced as they are older.

Sometimes it actually hurts you because you get stuck in your ways and unwilling and resistant to change.

 

[Aristippus]

As a general rule men have to assume that most women are not good people. Especially from a dating/marriage/romantic perspective. Your big sister that treats you great will treat her husband like crap. Your aunt that loves you to death will think it's perfectly ok to make your uncle's life miserable behind closed doors. If your relationships with women are limited to family only then you won't be as much on the receiving end of manipulative, screwed-up behavior. In the context of romantic relationships women have this unspoken belief that any stupid, childish, manipulative, or bratty behavior is not off limits. In fact, they believe it's ok and that you should accept it.

It's up to you not to accept it. Unfortunately, a lot of men are walking around with blinders on yet something doesn't feel right to them. They can't put their finger on it and with blinders on they jump in head first. This applies to younger and older men. Even some of the older guys never learn.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Young people in general make bad romantic partner decisions.

That's the great irony of life.

In order to have a decent life, it helps significantly to make excellent romantic decisions very early in life.

Something fewer and fewer people are capable of doing.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I agree with the OP

 

[Pandora]

As a general rule men have to assume that most women are not good people. Especially from a dating/marriage/romantic perspective. Your big sister that treats you great will treat her husband like crap. Your aunt that loves you to death will think it's perfectly ok to make your uncle's life miserable behind closed doors. If your relationships with women are limited to family only then you won't be as much on the receiving end of manipulative, screwed-up behavior. In the context of romantic relationships women have this unspoken belief that any stupid, childish, manipulative, or bratty behavior is not off limits. In fact, they believe it's ok and that you should accept it.

This is real. 1000%. Fascinating how they can be different people towards their romantic partners.

 

[SW15]

I dont think that men should settle down before 35yrs old. They dont know what to look for.

This is a valid point of view. The issue with not settling down before 35 years is that you're likely having kids much later in life. That has its downsides. That has the potential to affect retirement planning.

I also believe that young women should never be given the oppurtunity to pick their partner. This should be father/ uncles job.

Young women generally do a poor job in selecting lifelong partners. I agree that fathers/uncles would be better able to evaluate younger men for longer term prospects for their daughters/nieces.

 

[Ricky]

My decision with my wife seemed good for many years. I was with her for 5 years and married for 2 years when i met her mom.
Her mom is in shape but grumpy and unhappy.. my wife became more like her eventually.

 

[Ricky]

I know alot of older women that are making absolute bat s h i t crazy decisions lately too..
Mostly involving long distance romances.

 

[zekko]

I dont think that men should settle down before 35yrs old. They dont know what to look for.

The problem with this idea is that sperm quality and fertility are in decline at that age. If you go by the idea that the main objective of marriage is to raise children and a family, this is relevant. Unfortunately, the values of our current culture are misdirected or missing. Like it or not, younger people make healthier babies. I've always thought that having children was kind of like something that might be best if it blindsided you when you were young, while you still had the energy to raise them. Bear in mind that I have no children though lol.

 

[Pandora]

The problem with this idea is that sperm quality and fertility are in decline at that age. If you go by the idea that the main objective of marriage is to raise children and a family, this is relevant. Unfortunately, the values of our current culture are misdirected or missing. Like it or not, younger people make healthier babies. I've always thought that having children was kind of like something that might be best if it blindsided you when you were young, while you still had the energy to raise them. Bear in mind that I have no children though lol.

Is sperm quality really a factor for men? My dad had his 2nd child at 45 and she is smarter than I am ( academically). I know that is just an anecdote.