Young girl suddenly goes cold on a date

[viking22]

Matched with a young girl (23) on bumble. I'm in my mid 30s. I was hanging around central london swiping right and left and we matched. I asked what she was up to she said she was drinking alone in a ****tail bar and was very sad. Something about her friends ditching her or something. She then asked if I wanted to join her. I wasn't doing anything so figured why not. Found her in the ****tail bar smoking some shisha and drinking a ****tail.

Started off fairly well. She was smiley and friendly and before long we were holding hands across the table. She was quite chatty telling me about her job her family etc but then started talking about her culture (she's East European) and how the man is expected to be the provider and so on so I started to sense a possible agenda.

Outdoors closed so they moved us inside and we sat together on a sofa so could sit next to her and put my arm around her and she cosied up to me and we kissed but she didn't kiss me back with a huge amount of enthusiasm and then buried her head on my chest which made further kissing difficult and she went quiet after being quite chatty up until this point. The bill came and I saw she'd run up a tab of $80 before I arrived on drinks/shisha etc so I said I'd pay for the drinks we had together which she went along with and the bar then closed and before I could suggest going someplace else she said she was going to join her friends. I kissed her goodnight. But then half an hour later I saw she'd unmatched me on Bumble.

Not 100% sure what went wrong here. I know young girls are pretty flighty and can lose interest quickly. Perhaps she didn't like the kiss? Or maybe she was hoping I would cover the whole bill. Or maybe she expected me to be a bit more sexually aggressive? Or maybe she was never that interested and was just enjoying the attention while she waited to sort things out with her friends. She was on her phone a few times apologizing and taking my hand during the short conversations and speaking her language so I couldn't understand. But her initial story about being ditched by her friends and drinking alone in a bar on a Friday night seemed quite strange. So perhaps more likely that she got stood up by another guy and just wanted someone to fill a few hours until her friends were ready to party. But it feels strange to me that she'd cosy up to me, hold hands with me and exchange a few kisses if she wasn't interested.

 

[jimwho]

You were too old and touchy feely too soon. On top of that, she may have swiped you over to where she was with the whole "I'm sad" men pay for everything crap to get some smuck to pay her tab. How the hell was she still walking with an $80 dollar tab plus more drinks with you?

 

[Plinco]

Matched with a young girl (23)

23 is not young, she's past her prime.

Started off fairly well. She was smiley and friendly and before long we were holding hands across the table. She was quite chatty telling me about her job her family etc but then started talking about her culture (she's East European) and how the man is expected to be the provider and so on so I started to sense a possible agenda.

Outdoors closed so they moved us inside and we sat together on a sofa so could sit next to her and put my arm around her and she cosied up to me and we kissed but she didn't kiss me back with a huge amount of enthusiasm and then buried her head on my chest which made further kissing difficult and she went quiet after being quite chatty up until this point. The bill came and I saw she'd run up a tab of $80 before I arrived on drinks/shisha etc so I said I'd pay for the drinks we had together which she went along with and the bar then closed and before I could suggest going someplace else she said she was going to join her friends. I kissed her goodnight. But then half an hour later I saw she'd unmatched me on Bumble.

Not 100% sure what went wrong here. I know young girls are pretty flighty and can lose interest quickly. Perhaps she didn't like the kiss? Or maybe she was hoping I would cover the whole bill. Or maybe she expected me to be a bit more sexually aggressive? Or maybe she was never that interested and was just enjoying the attention while she waited to sort things out with her friends. She was on her phone a few times apologizing and taking my hand during the short conversations and speaking her language so I couldn't understand. But her initial story about being ditched by her friends and drinking alone in a bar on a Friday night seemed quite strange. So perhaps more likely that she got stood up by another guy and just wanted someone to fill a few hours until her friends were ready to party. But it feels strange to me that she'd cosy up to me, hold hands with me and exchange a few kisses if she wasn't interested.

She played you like a fiddle buddy. You should have took her somewhere else so that you had more control over the situation. I would never have paid for her drinks; you don't know her.

 

[Tilex]

I've had this happen to me before in the past, but not in the exact same scenario you posted.

A chick I barely knew wanted me to stop by this bar she was at to drop off her jacket. She left her jacket in my car on the 1st date.
I wasn't planning on drinking that night because it was a weeknight and I had to wake up early for work the next day.

When I arrived she says: "Come have a drink with me"
So I only ordered 1 drink and then told her I needed to leave.
Asked the bartender for my tab only because I had no idea how many drinks she had before I arrived.
When I saw the bill, she already consumed an entire bottle of wine + 2 extra glasses.
Gave the bartender my portion and left.
The next day she threw a fit about me not paying the entire bill.
Ended up having one of the dumbest arguments ever about it with her.
Never saw her again after that.

Lesson learned for future mistakes:
Don't go to her, make her come to you.
This is how they get you into these conniving traps.
You as a man should ALWAYS pick the location no matter what.
It doesn't allow her to set up any traps, unless she's constantly changing the meetup time. That's an automatic red flag.

 

[Solomon]

Matched with a young girl (23) on bumble. I'm in my mid 30s. I was hanging around central london swiping right and left and we matched. I asked what she was up to she said she was drinking alone in a ****tail bar and was very sad. Something about her friends ditching her or something. She then asked if I wanted to join her. I wasn't doing anything so figured why not. Found her in the ****tail bar smoking some shisha and drinking a ****tail.

Started off fairly well. She was smiley and friendly and before long we were holding hands across the table. She was quite chatty telling me about her job her family etc but then started talking about her culture (she's East European) and how the man is expected to be the provider and so on so I started to sense a possible agenda.

Outdoors closed so they moved us inside and we sat together on a sofa so could sit next to her and put my arm around her and she cosied up to me and we kissed but she didn't kiss me back with a huge amount of enthusiasm and then buried her head on my chest which made further kissing difficult and she went quiet after being quite chatty up until this point. The bill came and I saw she'd run up a tab of $80 before I arrived on drinks/shisha etc so I said I'd pay for the drinks we had together which she went along with and the bar then closed and before I could suggest going someplace else she said she was going to join her friends. I kissed her goodnight. But then half an hour later I saw she'd unmatched me on Bumble.

Not 100% sure what went wrong here. I know young girls are pretty flighty and can lose interest quickly. Perhaps she didn't like the kiss? Or maybe she was hoping I would cover the whole bill. Or maybe she expected me to be a bit more sexually aggressive? Or maybe she was never that interested and was just enjoying the attention while she waited to sort things out with her friends. She was on her phone a few times apologizing and taking my hand during the short conversations and speaking her language so I couldn't understand. But her initial story about being ditched by her friends and drinking alone in a bar on a Friday night seemed quite strange. So perhaps more likely that she got stood up by another guy and just wanted someone to fill a few hours until her friends were ready to party. But it feels strange to me that she'd cosy up to me, hold hands with me and exchange a few kisses if she wasn't interested.

OP she expected you to pay the bill and also give her validation, you did 1/2 don't beat yourself up over this, at least you got to meet her ASAP and didn't waste much of your time

 

[BackInTheGame78]

There doesn't always have to be something you did wrong. Sometimes no matter what they aren't going to be into you even if you did things 100% right.

She just wasn't that interested, end of story.

 

[ubercat]

You missed out on the opportunity to be her human ATM. Breathe a sigh of relief and move on.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

You were too old and touchy feely too soon. On top of that, she may have swiped you over to where she was with the whole "I'm sad" men pay for everything crap to get some smuck to pay her tab. How the hell was she still walking with an $80 dollar tab plus more drinks with you?

+1

Furthermore dating in 2022 is phaggotry.

 

[Sgthaytham]

I've not got anything productive to say, seems like most advice is pretty spot on.

Yikes.

 

[Rainman4707]

I'm at the stage now where i dont use my mental energy to wonder why. Maybe it was this. Maybe it was that. Maybe it was A. Maybe it was B. Maybe it was C.

I've been using a girl for about six months. She has double DD boobs. She was nice. Very, very into me. I only texted her when i was desperate for a shag. I played her. She would mention going on holiday or going out etc etc. I never did any of that with her. I was very clever. Maybe i would have went out with her...if i was bored.

I imagine she will now be thinking. i wonder what it was that i did wrong? The answer to her question is....it was over before it begun.

 

[Rainman4707]

I've had this happen to me before in the past, but not in the exact same scenario you posted.

A chick I barely knew wanted me to stop by this bar she was at to drop off her jacket. She left her jacket in my car on the 1st date.
I wasn't planning on drinking that night because it was a weeknight and I had to wake up early for work the next day.

When I arrived she says: "Come have a drink with me"
So I only ordered 1 drink and then told her I needed to leave.
Asked the bartender for my tab only because I had no idea how many drinks she had before I arrived.
When I saw the bill, she already consumed an entire bottle of wine + 2 extra glasses.
Gave the bartender my portion and left.
The next day she threw a fit about me not paying the entire bill.
Ended up having one of the dumbest arguments ever about it with her.
Never saw her again after that.

Lesson learned for future mistakes:
Don't go to her, make her come to you.
This is how they get you into these conniving traps.
You as a man should ALWAYS pick the location no matter what.
It doesn't allow her to set up any traps, unless she's constantly changing the meetup time. That's an automatic red flag.

Wow. her expecting to pay the whole bill....just wow.

 

[Bigpapa]

Matched with a young girl (23) on bumble. I'm in my mid 30s. I was hanging around central london swiping right and left and we matched. I asked what she was up to she said she was drinking alone in a ****tail bar and was very sad. Something about her friends ditching her or something. She then asked if I wanted to join her. I wasn't doing anything so figured why not. Found her in the ****tail bar smoking some shisha and drinking a ****tail.

Started off fairly well. She was smiley and friendly and before long we were holding hands across the table. She was quite chatty telling me about her job her family etc but then started talking about her culture (she's East European) and how the man is expected to be the provider and so on so I started to sense a possible agenda.

Outdoors closed so they moved us inside and we sat together on a sofa so could sit next to her and put my arm around her and she cosied up to me and we kissed but she didn't kiss me back with a huge amount of enthusiasm and then buried her head on my chest which made further kissing difficult and she went quiet after being quite chatty up until this point. The bill came and I saw she'd run up a tab of $80 before I arrived on drinks/shisha etc so I said I'd pay for the drinks we had together which she went along with and the bar then closed and before I could suggest going someplace else she said she was going to join her friends. I kissed her goodnight. But then half an hour later I saw she'd unmatched me on Bumble.

Not 100% sure what went wrong here. I know young girls are pretty flighty and can lose interest quickly. Perhaps she didn't like the kiss? Or maybe she was hoping I would cover the whole bill. Or maybe she expected me to be a bit more sexually aggressive? Or maybe she was never that interested and was just enjoying the attention while she waited to sort things out with her friends. She was on her phone a few times apologizing and taking my hand during the short conversations and speaking her language so I couldn't understand. But her initial story about being ditched by her friends and drinking alone in a bar on a Friday night seemed quite strange. So perhaps more likely that she got stood up by another guy and just wanted someone to fill a few hours until her friends were ready to party. But it feels strange to me that she'd cosy up to me, hold hands with me and exchange a few kisses if she wasn't interested.

most likely she was flaked by another guy , to begin with

her “ the guy had to be a provider “ frame was meant to tell you that she is expecting you tk pay the whole bill

her not kissing you and stuff like that , either means that you are a bad kisser , either that she was not that attracted to you

for sure her attraction to you would not have been higher if you would have paid the whole bill

 

[bat soup]

Here's my analysis of what happened. But basically you got suckered. The biatch went out, swallowed down a load of drink then looked on Tinder to find a sucker to come pay for her night out. As soon as you did so, she ditched you and went to meet her boyfriend, the latest guy she's banging or her other gold-digging friends.

Matched with a young girl (23) on bumble. I'm in my mid 30s. [BAIT SET]
she said she was drinking alone in a ****tail bar and was very sad. [SOB STORY, TOTAL BS]
She then asked if I wanted to join her. [SHE STARTS GIVING YOU INSTRUCTIONS, BAD BAD SIGN]
Started off fairly well. ...started talking about ...how the man is expected to be the provider [MORE OF HER LEADING YOU ON]
she cosied up to me and we kissed but she didn't kiss me back with a huge amount of enthusiasm [SHE KNEW SHE HAD TO GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO STOP YOU WALKING OFF]
The bill came and I saw she'd run up a tab of $80 before I arrived on drinks/shisha etc so I said I'd pay for the drinks we had together which she went along with and the bar then closed and [SHE WAS HOPING YOU'D PAY THE WHOLE BILL, BUT SHE TOOK WHAT SHE COULD GET]
before I could suggest going someplace else she said she was going to join her friends. [SHE DITCHED YOU AS SOON AS YOU HAD SERVED YOUR PURPOSE]
I kissed her goodnight. But then half an hour later I saw she'd unmatched me on Bumble.[ON TO THE NEXT SUCKER]

 

[bat soup]

Moral of the story: never ever follow a biatches instructions. Some person you don't even know starts giving you instructions (come to X bar and pay for all my drinks), tell them to get lost. Or if you want to test them out and see how full of shiit they are, try asking them to meet you somewhere else. They'll vanish, because they were never interested in meeting you, only in getting you to pay. That's how you filter them out.

Now that I think about it, it's entirely possible that her bill was for not just her but also her sluttly friends who left just before you arrived. Maybe they take it in turns to stay behind and find a sucker to pay for their night out.

If a woman has genuine interest, she won't insist on meeting at any particular place or start insisting that you have to pay for things. Any time a woman starts giving you instructions, there's definitely something wrong.

If you had told this girl to come meet you somewhere else, I guarantee she'd have immediately unmatched you and tried the next guy. In fact, maybe you were the 11th guy she tried it on and the first one to fall for it.

 

[nismo-4]

She got flaked on by (since this is the UK) Richard and Henry, and was looking for simp Simon to give her money and validation.

The lack of enthusiasm was a dead giveaway that she didn't see you as Richard. Also her saying the guy must be a provider wasn't good. Be glad you didn't pay the whole bill since it would've hurt you more. You would've been unmatched either way. Should've made her blow you in the bathroom.

 

[RBK]

Cliff Notes..

Her friends or date ditched her so she swiped till she found a sucker willing to pay for her tab.

You played yourself.

It's hilarious what women can get away with, a dude could never pull this off.