young 9 confusing me

[mrtru]

long time user of this site. first time, where i'm feeling lost.

this girl recently started at my work. she's a former miss teen something, and is easily a 10 in the face (9 overall because she lacks any kind of booty). problem was she was 19, and i typically mess with mature women so i was going to let her pass.

she became friends with one of my friends and that became a non-option.

we started emailing each other...

and on day two of the email she emailed me with something like:

'what do you think of me? let me tell you what i think of you. you have a sexy smile, i just want to see you smile all the time. cute little dimples. and your eyes set me on fire; they're knowing. you have so much confidence and you're not scared of me.'

the email was a lot longer than that. but those were the main points.

that day we went to my car, and i played it cool - we just talked.

got on the elevator , just me and her... and SHE grabbed me and pulled me into her, and we had a 12 second make out session...

so up until this point, she's made almost all the moves...

this is going to be easy right? i can't f this up....

or so i thought...

it's rare for it to come like this, so i wasn't sure how to act... none of my normal stuff made sense because we were already past the point where most of my stuff is effective.

so basically it's been 3 weeks since all that happened... and now it can't get much more confusing...

(week 1)... we spent a lot of this time sneaking little kisses on each other. trading long emails of admiration (she'd send me emails like 'i just saw you walk past sexy').... it was all great... she still lives at home and can't go to bars or be out late, so we make plans to take off a day of work together and get into something...

(week 2)... something strange is happening... her emails are becoming short... she no longer seems as into me... compliments are few... she's not volunteering to go on breaks with me and mess around, i have to ask her... and she flat out rejects me a few times. i still keep her laughing, and when we're not alone - she still seems into me. it's just when we're alone - she seems scared and timid? BUT she's starting to complain about other women in the office touching and flirting with me... i tell her i have no power over other women wanting me...

(week 3)... from bad to worse... her emails are 2 sentences long now... small talk only... she comes up with excuses not to go on breaks with me. we go on one and she lets me touch her freely... but that's the only one we go on... friday i barely talk to her... she notices and 'jokingly' tells me not to talk to her when i walk by her desk... i say 'ok' and walk off with a smile because i'm just not feeling the vibes anymore... that was the last of our contact...


i'm losing the best looking girl to ever openly express her desire for me. i've had sexier women, but i've always had to do the work. i thought this could be interesting, but obviously i don't work well with all the cards on the table. it's almost like i need to play the game and have it move at a normal rate in order to succeed. i dunno.... the hell is going on?

 

[bukowski_merit]

What are you looking for out of her?
Sounds like you could have layed her week 1. why didn't you?

And it sounds like she's losing interest to me, however the fact that she expresses to you that she doesn't like when you talk/flirt/touch other co-workers is a sign that there's still something there.

 

[Answers]

The loosing interest stage is something I'm familiar with. Looking back it happened to me the more interested I became in the girl. I now know it was because the more I liked the girl the more AFC I became. Things like texting the girl more and more and generally acting nicer and nicer because I didn't want to loose her. This killed the attraction for her.

Shes complaining about other women flirting with you because even though she dosn't feel that attracted to you anymore she still wants you there to fall back on if shes bored or changes her mind.

I might be wrong but all the signs point to interest levels dipping. Do not get one-itis! Spin plates and flirt with all the women in the office. The more women that like you the better prize you'll become.

 

[mrtru]

What are you looking for out of her?
Sounds like you could have layed her week 1. why didn't you?

there's a lot of layers to the answer of that question and i don't think anyone cares to read a few paragraphs on such a small thing. but basically, i know i could have she openly told me i could. i told her we'd get a room or something after christmas and we'd get into some trouble, she said that would be fine. not sure that she'd take me up on that offer now.

Shes complaining about other women flirting with you because even though she dosn't feel that attracted to you anymore she still wants you there to fall back on if shes bored or changes her mind.

I might be wrong but all the signs point to interest levels dipping. Do not get one-itis! Spin plates and flirt with all the women in the office. The more women that like you the better prize you'll become.

i'm definitely not getting one-itis.... i have other girls, including a girl almost as good looking with a better body (who i lay on the regular). but i was enjoying the office thing because most of the women in my office aren't worthy of my good game. but yes, i absolutely have not cut down on my flirting and have actually increased it. and already have established myself as the office prize (which isn't hard considering the ration of women to men is 80:7... and i'm one of three under 30 guys there).

my natural game is not to piss girls off.... but i'm bored using my natural game on this girl. so you think i should continue to ignore her like i did on friday? she seemed pretty annoyed with me when i did that...

 

[aliasguy]

You moved too slow.
Always be escalating.

 

[bukowski_merit]

there's a lot of layers to the answer of that question and i don't think anyone cares to read a few paragraphs on such a small thing. but basically, i know i could have she openly told me i could. i told her we'd get a room or something after christmas and we'd get into some trouble, she said that would be fine. not sure that she'd take me up on that offer now.

you should have made it for the first weekend instead of after xmas. sounds like you would have got layed.

if this girl is as good looking as you say she is (and young) then she's probably used to men coming in and out of her life. making her easy to bore.

so as charming as you may be - you should have jumped at the oppurtunity the minute it came up.


i've been here before.. and all is not lost.... but you've made it a whole lot harder on yourself, and you're most likely going to have to trick her back in lust with you.

 

[mrtru]

thanks, this is as i expected. i really wasn't ready for someone to come at me like that, and maybe it turned me off (it surely confused me to have a 9 just openly pursue me without any effort on my part, i'm used to 6-7 pursuing me like that. never anything 8+).

so i'm thinking tomorrow - i'll just cut down my contact with her. let her come after me (if she wants to - if she doesn't - i'll take it as us being done), and continue to openly flirt with other women in front of her?

 

[mrtru]

well... after ignoring her all day friday - i did the same thing on monday...
tuesday we had off work
today - the spark seemed to be back when we were talking...
made out in the car and in the elevator
made plans to get it this weekend (when i say 'get it' i mean we actually are going to get a room and fuk, not go on a date)...
so it worked out i suppose... igonoring her seemed to really piss her off... i was surprised how easily she let me start talking to her again... as if i had never been ignoring her...

 

[j0n024]

Hmm maybe after you fvck her ignore her again and see how far she takes you the next time ..maybe she will set something up who knows good luck and maybe get a pic...lol.

 

[bukowski_merit]

doesn't surprise me that that worked... sometimes the girls just need to be reminded that you're not every other guy... but good luck... this girl sounds like a good time, but i wouldn't go past sex... sounds like trouble...

 

[LostAndConfused]

You moved too slow.
Always be escalating.

Building up on what alias said, if I were you, I wouldn't have told her that you could get a room later on. I would have just toyed with her there, then at another time when she's isolated, make out with her and escalate. Throw her into a janitorial closet or something and just start hooking up, she'll like that spontaneity anyways

 

[mrtru]

Building up on what alias said, if I were you, I wouldn't have told her that you could get a room later on. I would have just toyed with her there, then at another time when she's isolated, make out with her and escalate. Throw her into a janitorial closet or something and just start hooking up, she'll like that spontaneity anyways

yeah i hadn't been doing the escalating thing, but the making out today was pretty heavy and the kissing was much more sexual than any time before...

lol i have no idea where a janitors closet is...

but i forgot that i also came up behind her today and pushed my knuckles into her back and turned them some and said 'what's up?' and she said 'that felt good.' and i said 'i know it did, that's why i stopped' and she said 'that's cuz you're a fuking tease'... bingo! no girl has ever called me a tease and not fuked me... that's it

 

[The Deacon]

I take it this girl's just a friend with benefits, and judging by the last post you still have her interest. Women are more stochastic than deterministic, but since she was receptive to your knuckles being pressed against her back I'm 99% positive she's still into you. One sure way to screw it up at this point, though, is to ask to be her boyfriend at this point. I know that mistake a little too well =X.