You need to date a lot of women

logicallefty

Moderator
Joined
Apr 26, 2006
Messages
6,054
Reaction score
5,236
Age
50
Location
Northeast Florida, USA
Agree. Dating is a numbers game.
 

corrector

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 12, 2009
Messages
9,758
Reaction score
3,727
Yeah, date allot or LDAR, no in between, otherwise you are worst off.
 

FlexpertHamilton

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 10, 2020
Messages
2,756
Reaction score
3,172
Location
US
Once you've met enough women you'll learn how to recognize which ones will stick around by the end of the first date with them.

I've gotten to the point where I am now trying to learning how to detect low interest before or during the date so I can leave within 30 minutes instead of wasting 2 hours and $$.

The answer is, unless the girl makes is abundantly clear she likes you, it's probably a waste of time in most cases.
 

Pierce Manhammer

Moderator
Joined
Jun 2, 2021
Messages
5,026
Reaction score
6,029
Location
PRC
I’m thinking of starting a thread on how to check for compliance over the phone, for those on OLD. I’ve found many women want to talk on the phone or video chat before meeting.
 
M

member162951

Guest
Once you've met enough women you'll learn how to recognize which ones will stick around by the end of the first date with them.

I've gotten to the point where I am now trying to learning how to detect low interest before or during the date so I can leave within 30 minutes instead of wasting 2 hours and $$.

The answer is, unless the girl makes is abundantly clear she likes you, it's probably a waste of time in most cases.
I've always been able to determine high interest by how we vibe together. Genuine chemistry is an 'energy' between both people and when it's happening, it's unmistakable. You're both feeling it.

I can't wrap my brain around only being focused on her interest in you. What about your interest in her? Does that not factor in? As long as she's interested in you, you're in?!

I also question why you would expect a woman to have and overtly display high interest before ever meeting you? Over text or phone call.

How is this reasonable? Interest and chemistry can't truly be determined until the in-person meet. Before that, it's only fantasy and idealization.

It's also very easy to feign interest over text or phone because you're not able to determine body language, eye contact and the overall vibe between you, the vibrational pull.

During the meet, gauge how you mutually vibe and the sexual tension. Sexual tension means something is happening. There's a certain discomfort.

When there's no sexual tension, no discomfort, nothing is happening; it's a friendship. OR you are physically attracted and want to f*ck her.

But women's emotions and desires are different so if there's no sexual tension or mutual vibe, chances are there will be no second date..

OR she may agree for the attention, free dinners or whatever else she can get from you. Or hoping maybe during second date, she might actually feel something. I've heard women say this.

Don't bother, if she's not feeling it on first date, she won't be feeling it on second. That's pretty much a given in my experience.

What to look for is if you're mirroring each other, subtly moving closer to each other, good eye contact (eye f*cking), body language, subtle touching.

There doesn't even need to be a lot of talk, but the interest/ chemistry/ energy is there, it's happening and you're both feeling it.

If none of that is happening, don't waste your time or money, excuse yourself after 30 minutes, next

$.02
 
Last edited by a moderator:

AmsterdamAssassin

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 4, 2023
Messages
6,995
Reaction score
6,073
To be an efficient hunter, you need to study your prey.
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
13,502
Reaction score
11,361
I’m thinking of starting a thread on how to check for compliance over the phone, for those on OLD. I’ve found many women want to talk on the phone or video chat before meeting.
As the 2010s progressed, I found that it was more difficult to get women on the phone from dating websites and later dating swipe apps.

I was dating Millennial women during that time, generally 1980s born Millennial women born from 1983-1989. You have been dating more of Gen X women. Gen X women and Millennial women have had very different ways in which they use the telephone.

When 1980s Millennials were teens/early 20s, text-based messaging forms started to make their rise. This isn't just telephonic text messaging. This dates back to email and AOL Instant Messenger. In my freshman year dorm in 2001-2002, it was common practice to send messages to people via AOL Instant Messenger. Millennials, even the older ones, have never been very inclined to use the telephone for voice conversations.

Gen X women grew up with a telephone as a voice chat device and also grew up before email, text messaging, instant messaging, and direct messaging.

Video chatting is useful but inefficient.

Dating is a numbers game.
It is and isn't. That's one of the biggest half truths out there. Doing the wrong things is likely to drastically increase the numbers a man will need to approach/contact. I don't believe in working inefficiently. A lot of the primary means of meeting women (standard daygame, standard nightgame, swipe apps, social media DMs) are very inefficient to varying degrees.

Dating multiple women is useful in reducing scarcity mentality. Scarcity mentality leads to a lot of less attractive behaviors. Engaging in less attractive behaviors makes dating more frustrating, more challenging, and increases the number of women that a man will need to contact.
 

FlexpertHamilton

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 10, 2020
Messages
2,756
Reaction score
3,172
Location
US
I've always been able to determine high interest by how we vibe together. Genuine chemistry is an 'energy' between both people and when it's happening, it's unmistakable. You're both feeling it.
Chemistry/vibe is a different topic altogether and chemistry can independent from interest levels. Women can have high IL and maintain high IL even if the chemistry isn't great.


I can't wrap my brain around only being focused on her interest in you. What about your interest in her? Does that not factor in? As long as she's interested in you, you're in?!
First off, the simple answer is that I am automatically more attracted to women who are attracted to me. I have never once had any interest in women who do not like me or do not show IOIs. The other explanation is that I screen pretty harshly and once the screening/vetting is over it can take a long time for me to develop any feelings or real interest in her, so at first all I go off of is her attractiveness and interest in me.

I also question why you would expect a woman to have and overtly display high interest before ever meeting you? Over text or phone call.
Why shouldn't I? In this context, lot of what constitutes high interest is simply making themselves available/easy/eager to meet me, which once again disqualifies a lot of women.


How is this reasonable? Interest and chemistry can't truly be determined until the in-person meet. Before that, it's only fantasy and idealization.
Chemistry yes but interest not at all. I've never had a situation where a women showed low interest before our first date then developed high interest after.

It's also very easy to feign interest over text or phone because you're not able to determine body language, eye contact and the overall vibe between you, the vibrational pull.
Why would any woman feign interest in a man ? Their egos wouldn't allow that, unless they're basically prostitutes or doing some kind of scheme/scam. Never happened to me before.
 
Last edited:
M

member162951

Guest
@FlexpertHamilton that's all well and good.

I was responding to your question how to determine low interest to avoid wasting time and money and to increase chance for a second date.

You determine low interest by gauging for high interest - mirroring, subtly moving closer, good eye contact (eye f*cking), body language, subtle touching. And how well you both vibe together.

If that's not happening there is low interest in my opinion and experience.
 

You essentially upped your VALUE in her eyes by showing her that, if she wants you, she has to at times do things that you like to do. You are SOMETHING after all. You are NOT FREE. If she wants to hang with you, it's going to cost her something — time, effort, money.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

M

member162951

Guest
Responding to this:

Why would any woman feign interest in a man ?
SMH at this question but okay mate.

Attention, validation, free meals, gifts, social approval that they have a boyfriend or any number of other reasons besides actual interest.

First off, the simple answer is that I am automatically more attracted to women who are attracted to me.
Same for me.minus the "automatically" part. It takes a lot more than that for me to be attracted

In fact in more cases than not, I'm NOT attracted. I have my own set of standards and criteria that I use to determine my attraction to them.

But hey man I'm not here to judge, whatever works.
 

FlexpertHamilton

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 10, 2020
Messages
2,756
Reaction score
3,172
Location
US
Responding to this:



SMH at this question but okay mate.

Attention, validation, free meals, gifts, social approval that they have a boyfriend or any number of other reasons besides actual interest.
I guess so. I'm basing this off my own experience but I don't think I've ever met a women who pretended to like me with an ulterior motive. Maybe my definition of "high interest" is sufficient to exclude women who are feigning it, but i'd love to hear stories from experienced guys who were duped by women.

Same for me.minus the "automatically" part. It takes a lot more than that for me to be attracted

In fact in more cases than not, I'm NOT attracted. I have my own set of standards and criteria that I use to determine my attraction to them.

But hey man I'm not here to judge, whatever works.
Of course that's why I said I also have a rigorous screening process. But there's only so much screening you can do before you meet up so the first prerequisite for me are things that are immediately identifiable such as age, interest level, and attractiveness.
 

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
14,660
Reaction score
15,810
I’m thinking of starting a thread on how to check for compliance over the phone, for those on OLD. I’ve found many women want to talk on the phone or video chat before meeting.
They want to attempt to disqualify ones who have no Convo skills or who don't know how to interact with women. Which is why I use it to my advantage and they want to meet me even more after we talk.

As I have said many times, prior to first dates, women are in disqualification mode on OLD due to having so many men and so little time, but also realizing that so many are losers, if we are being honest, that it's easy to disqualify many right off the bat
 
Top