You must create the opportunity with a woman if you want to get laid

[pipeman84]

The reason this is so critical to do from date #1 is that a lot of women just want to have sex - they aren't interested in a relationship. They may have a boyfriend who dries them up and they are craving real sex. They may be broken and unable to be in a relationship but still want sex. They could have just had a breakup and are looking for some rebound sex. They might be about to leave on a month long trip or move out of state and don't want a relationship but still want sex. So many reasons. But just know that contrary to societal brainwashing, many women just want a one night stand with a guy who has pushed her buttons.

How do these girls look like? I imagine them to have a slutty aura, looking more masculine, the kind of girls with 3 layers of makeup on their face, and probably with some boob job/Botox too.

I remember one girl who I made out with 15 mins into our first date. Everything about this girl oozed extremely high interest from her eye-fvcking me just prior to my cold approach, to her flexibility in date scheduling, to her ensuring she looked good for me on the date and wore a dress, to the long smiling google-eyed conversation, to her response to my touch, to her making out with me 15 mins into the date. She just gazed at me like I was a god. The date went great but I didn't create the opportunity for sex and the good-bye part of the date (which I ended) suddenly felt oddly awkward since everything else had gone so well. She ghosted me after that date. What a missed opportunity.

If a girl is so into having sex with you from the first date, why would she ghost you if the logistics just weren't there on that particular occasion? I don't understand it.

 

[Velasco]

How do these girls look like? I imagine them to have a slutty aura, looking more masculine, the kind of girls with 3 layers of makeup on their face, and probably with some boob job/Botox too.

No. But your showing your age with this comment.

If a girl is so into having sex with you from the first date, why would she ghost you if the logistics just weren't there on that particular occasion? I don't understand it.

 

[pipeman84]

No. But your showing your age with this comment.

My age is under my avatar (38). It shows I haven't dealt directly with this sort of women.

The comment in that image sounds logical. That confirms my suspicion that in these ONSs the man is practically a dildo for the woman. Totally off putting.

 

[eli77]

So many posters don't seem to understand this and wonder why they are not getting laid. It's simply because you are not creating the opportunity with a woman for sex to happen. It's really that simple.

You put yourselves in a situation where you are both alone behind closed doors. That's the most important step. After that, you have a 50/50 shot even if you aren't on your game. Women like to fvck too remember and if she is in the mood, and you happen to be the one that is in front of her...well...you get the gist. Obviously if you ARE on your game your close rate will be much higher.

One of the easiest ways that I accomplish this is just inviting them over to cook with me. Note I said WITH. I'm not cooking for them, they are an active participant. If you don't have cooking skills you should learn some basic ones. There is so much opportunity for flirting in the kitchen...butt grabs, sneak up from behind neck kisses, makeout sessions while you pin her against the counter, etc...

Sex literally starts in the kitchen when they come over...by the time dinner is over they are so wound up and hot and bothered from the things done while cooking that most of the time I don't need to do anything other than just sit down on the couch and they follow and basically just start making out with me. Once I didn't even have to do that, she was so ready to go I ****ed her in the kitchen while we were still cooking.

But you have to actively put yourself in the position for sex to happen. Too many guys wonder why they can't get laid but they never isolate the woman properly. No matter how good your game is, failing to get them alone somewhere you can escalate is a major issue.

I use the same pattern over and over again and it works pretty well... Date 3 invite them over to cook dinner. If they are into you they will be super excited and offer to bring things...wine, food,.dessert, etc... Let them...even if it's something small...it forces them to invest in you by going shopping, spending time looking for things etc...

During COVID times when nothing was really open, I was inviting them over on Date 1 and banged about 6 or 7 chicks like that. Wouldn't try that now, but back then they were going for it. Not going to lie, had a few awkward ones too where one of us weren't feeling it, but for the most part they went well.

So the lesson in all of this is make sure you create the opportunity for sex to happen behind closed doors. It's one of the most common sense things but something I see guys struggling with on here time and again.

I can't believe this i know what you're saying but its been know that you are who you hang with. I had to do it again i would have to tighten up my social circle.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You are out of your god dam mind. The kitchen SOLVES NOTHING. why do you post this crap? You know nothing dude

OK champ...to each their own.

It works well for me and numerous others but apparently the only way to do is whatever way you are peddling.

Carry on.

 

[SW15]

This is such an important point. The margin of error on anything in the early stages is so much narrower with women met through technology or cold approach methods than through social circle.

 

[Zimbabwe]

If a girl is so into having sex with you from the first date, why would she ghost you if the logistics just weren't there on that particular occasion? I don't understand it.

I've had girls I dated for a few weeks, slept with several times then they just randomly ghosted me.

Women are very fickle these days

 

[member160292]

I dont know who voted you as a mod but SS needs a serious gut check. Nothing personal but just sayin

They don't call'em stringpuller for nothin'

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

I've had girls I dated for a few weeks, slept with several times then they just randomly ghosted me.

Women are very fickle these days

Sex is no longer a valid security deposit in todays age. Respect & submission is the highest form of interest by far.

 

[SW15]

I've had girls I dated for a few weeks, slept with several times then they just randomly ghosted me.

Women are very fickle these days

I agree that women are fickle. If you had sex with them several times, I'm not even sure it was a quality of sex issue.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

They don't call'em stringpuller for nothin'

He enjoys trying to rile people up and get reactions from them. Numerous examples of this prior. Not taking the bait.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

How do these girls look like? I imagine them to have a slutty aura, looking more masculine, the kind of girls with 3 layers of makeup on their face, and probably with some boob job/Botox too.

I don't go for the types of girls you describe above, so while those types might be into first date sex, I really wouldn't know. I go strictly for skinny, petite, natural-looking girl-next door types. I don't like the exotic or unnatural look. I say this only to stress a key component of my original post which is that most men have misconceptions about what women want and will do. I see you are in Europe and maybe where you are, things are different than here, but when I was visiting Eastern Europe, I cold-approached a really cute ballerina in her early 20's on the sidewalk, and then had first date sex with her two days later. No makeup. Not masculine. Didn't have a slutty aura. She was shy and didn't talk much.

The story I told of one of my embarrassing missed opportunities - the one where I was making out with her 15 minutes into the date, was a shy wall-flower. Very submissive. I met her at a Target. She didn't have any makeup on, natural long blond hair, dressed preppy. She would blush a lot and look down at the ground.

If a girl is so into having sex with you from the first date, why would she ghost you if the logistics just weren't there on that particular occasion? I don't understand it.

Because of exactly what Valesco wrote:

No. But your showing your age with this comment.

In addition to this, there are other reasons, many of which I stated in my previous post:

They may have a boyfriend who dries them up and they are craving real sex. They may be broken and unable to be in a relationship but still want sex. They could have just had a breakup and are looking for some rebound sex. They might be about to leave on a month long trip or move out of state and don't want a relationship but still want sex. So many reasons.

In the case of the girl at Target, she was about a week away from leaving on a very long (month or two I think) trip to Europe. That may have played a part as well.

Here's the good thing: You don't have to understand why. All you have to know is that nothing bad will come from presenting her with the opportunity for sex on the first date, if you do it in the covert manner I described. What do you have to lose? The only conceivable concern I have heard is from guys who think a woman will be turned off by it and that will wreck their chance at sex on a future date. That's just not true. If you present the opportunity covertly, it will not negatively impact your chance. You aren't asking her for sex. You are simply inviting her over to meet your dog or listen to a record you had talked about. Your only other alterative is to not present her with the chance and then miss your opportunity as a result. It's very simple.

 

[pipeman84]

All you have to know is that nothing bad will come from presenting her with the opportunity for sex on the first date, if you do it in the covert manner I described. What do you have to lose?

How can I describe it, it's like finding a suitcase full of 100$ bills and on closer inspection you establish they're fake. I'm not into quick sex and pump&dump, I'm looking for relationship material (that's why I avoid obviously trash material such as slutty aura, fake boobs etc). My biggest 'fear' so to speak is that innocent, feminine looking girl turns out to be a hore.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

I have learned that like everything else in life, the secret is to focus on the journey, not the destination. The more you focus on a relationship, the further away from you it will get. Your goal should be to create an opportunity for sex with women, and enjoy your time with them no matter how long or short it may be. This requires you to be outcome independent. You can't control women, and a woman can decide to ghost you at any point in time. So you simply spend time with them, have fun, have sex, enjoy it, understanding it might last 1 date and one sexual encounter, or it might last a lifetime. But understand that for women, sex is a chemical binder. It isn't super-glue, but once you have had sex, there is MUCH more adhesion from her to you than prior, so if you are going to enter into a relationship with her, having sex is a critical first step. The sooner you present that opportunity, the better.... the less chance you have of losing the opportunity for any of 1000000 reasons. And it costs you nothing. There is no down-side.

 

[pipeman84]

I have learned that like everything else in life, the secret is to focus on the journey, not the destination. The more you focus on a relationship, the further away from you it will get. Your goal should be to create an opportunity for sex with women, and enjoy your time with them no matter how long or short it may be. This requires you to be outcome independent. You can't control women, and a woman can decide to ghost you at any point in time. So you simply spend time with them, have fun, have sex, enjoy it, understanding it might last 1 date and one sexual encounter, or it might last a lifetime. But understand that for women, sex is a chemical binder. It isn't super-glue, but once you have had sex, there is MUCH more adhesion from her to you than prior, so if you are going to enter into a relationship with her, having sex is a critical first step. The sooner you present that opportunity, the better.... the less chance you have of losing the opportunity for any of 1000000 reasons. And it costs you nothing. There is no down-side.

Well, the goals of quick sex and getting in a relationship with a quality woman are diametrically opposed. So once your goal is clear (LTR), that will determine your behavior (can't next if she doesn't have sex by 1st or 2nd date) and your journey (can't spend time on Tinder and night clubs). I disagree with the bolded part...if you come across too strong, you'll scare off a high quality girl. I come from the Doc Love's school of thought....kiss by 2nd date, not sex after 1st. I think much of the confusion and suffering I read about on this forum come from guys that don't have a clear goal and who consequently go fishing for trout in swamps.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Well, the goals of quick sex and getting in a relationship with a quality woman are diametrically opposed.

I disagree. In the last six years, every women I dated for 6-18 months I slept with on the first date, second date, third date, or fourth date. For each of these women, I covertly extended the offer from date #1, so clearly the covert extension of the offer did not negatively impact my subsequent experiences with them. If you follow my guidance on making the invitation covert, deniable, and you do not push if she declines, then it does not come off as too strong - because it is deniable. You aren't offering sex. You are just inviting her over and presenting her with the opportunity to decide if she wants to have sex - covertly.

Your comment about fishing for trout in swamps and previous comments about aggressive women with caked-on makeup makes me think you are seeing women as black and white - they are either slvts who fvck on the first date or they are "quality" women who won't sleep with you until marriage, or somewhere between date number x and marriage. This is a common blue-pill misconception. Women are guided by their emotions. Push the right buttons and they will want to sleep with you on the first date and lock you down into a relationship shortly after. Even if they choose to hold back on their urges and resist temptation of first date sex, you still lose nothing by extending the offer, but you can lose everything if you don't.

Another point to mention is many LTR-focused women will say they they "aren't ready for a relationship right now." What that really means is they just haven't found a guy who pushes their buttons. One of the strongest buttons to push with a woman is NOT giving out relationship vibes, while also not giving out player vibes. You do this by following what I describe above. Your attitude should be, "I like spending time with you, I like having sex with you. I'm happy just like this and need nothing more," but without communicating this to her directly. You simply set dates, show her a great time, enjoy it yourself, and provide the opportunity for sex. Rinse, repeat. This drives women mad. It quickly turns a woman from "I'm not ready for a relationship yet" to "I want to lock you down." And if it doesn't? You lose nothing. You had fun with a girl for a while and had some good sex. It is all part of the journey. Again, this is red pill 101. Date casually, see what happens.

Avoiding sex with women is never going to serve you, or her for that matter.

 

[member160292]

I disagree. In the last six years, every women I dated for 6-18 months I slept with on the first date, second date, third date, or fourth date. For each of these women, I covertly extended the offer from date #1, so clearly the covert extension of the offer did not negatively impact my subsequent experiences with them. If you follow my guidance on making the invitation covert, deniable, and you do not push if she declines, then it does not come off as too strong - because it is deniable. You aren't offering sex. You are just inviting her over and presenting her with the opportunity to decide if she wants to have sex - covertly.

Your comment about fishing for trout in swamps and previous comments about aggressive women with caked-on makeup makes me think you are seeing women as black and white - they are either slvts who fvck on the first date or they are "quality" women who won't sleep with you until marriage, or somewhere between date number x and marriage. This is a common blue-pill misconception. Women are guided by their emotions. Push the right buttons and they will want to sleep with you on the first date and lock you down into a relationship shortly after. Even if they choose to hold back on their urges and resist temptation of first date sex, you still lose nothing by extending the offer, but you can lose everything if you don't.

Another point to mention is many LTR-focused women will say they they "aren't ready for a relationship right now." What that really means is they just haven't found a guy who pushes their buttons. One of the strongest buttons to push with a woman is NOT giving out relationship vibes, while also not giving out player vibes. You do this by following what I describe above. Your attitude should be, "I like spending time with you, I like having sex with you. I'm happy just like this and need nothing more," but without communicating this to her directly. You simply set dates, show her a great time, enjoy it yourself, and provide the opportunity for sex. Rinse, repeat. This drives women mad. It quickly turns a woman from "I'm not ready for a relationship yet" to "I want to lock you down." And if it doesn't? You lose nothing. You had fun with a girl for a while and had some good sex. It is all part of the journey. Again, this is red pill 101. Date casually, see what happens.

Avoiding sex with women is never going to serve you, or her for that matter.

How do you find the balance between the relationship and player vibe? I'm struggling with that because some women I meet for the first date have hinted at me the player vibes, like do you come here often, how many girls have you taken here?
On the other hand, when I give out relationship vibes in my earlier dating days, it was always going to fail. So I tend to be a little more aloof, which coincidentally gives out the player vibe subconsciously.

 

[pipeman84]

If you follow my guidance on making the invitation covert, deniable, and you do not push if she declines, then it does not come off as too strong - because it is deniable. You aren't offering sex. You are just inviting her over and presenting her with the opportunity to decide if she wants to have sex - covertly.

I look at it as follows...I'm on a 1st date with her because I sense LTR potential...if there are no red flags, subsequent dates are info-gathering missions if you will, while slowly escalating sexually (no 'friends' vibe here). Going slightly slower than her works to my advantage because being a challenge is a big part of attraction process. If I get a whiff she's the 1,2,3 dates then sex type of girl (maybe she says something like...I slept with my last bf after the 2nd date and here we are after 2 dates and you just kissed me, why is that), I'm out. There's no way I could consider a relationship with someone who has sex within 1,2,3 dates...I mean, how is this debatable, I thought that was common sense...if she has such low impulse control, I can't trust that she hasn't slept with who knows how many people before me and getting involved with a person with low impulse control is just looking for trouble.

Your comment about fishing for trout in swamps and previous comments about aggressive women with caked-on makeup makes me think you are seeing women as black and white - they are either slvts who fvck on the first date or they are "quality" women who won't sleep with you until marriage, or somewhere between date number x and marriage. This is a common blue-pill misconception. Women are guided by their emotions. Push the right buttons and they will want to sleep with you on the first date and lock you down into a relationship shortly after. Even if they choose to hold back on their urges and resist temptation of first date sex, you still lose nothing by extending the offer, but you can lose everything if you don't.

How is wanting to get with a feminine, natural looking, virgin/very low mileage woman a blue-pill thing? Regarding emotions, I'm interested in being in a LTR with a woman who can control her emotions when it comes to such important things.

Another point to mention is many LTR-focused women will say they they "aren't ready for a relationship right now." What that really means is they just haven't found a guy who pushes their buttons. One of the strongest buttons to push with a woman is NOT giving out relationship vibes, while also not giving out player vibes. You do this by following what I describe above. Your attitude should be, "I like spending time with you, I like having sex with you. I'm happy just like this and need nothing more," but without communicating this to her directly. You simply set dates, show her a great time, enjoy it yourself, and provide the opportunity for sex. Rinse, repeat. This drives women mad. It quickly turns a woman from "I'm not ready for a relationship yet" to "I want to lock you down."

I agree that it's not the man's job to come upfront and say he's looking for a relationship. The vibe I want to send is that I want to know her better and while I'm sexually attracted to her and slowly escalate, I'm not after just a pvssy but the whole package. Confidence, (self)control, challenge...these are the qualities that women look for in a man. The latter 2 are evident when not pushing for sex and this time delay also allows for emotional connection to build up, so when the sex does happen, it's a much more powerful experience.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

If this approach is working well for you, you are happy, having the amount of sex you like with the number of and type of women you like, and you are having good success with LTRs then I am happy you have found what works for you. My own experience runs very counter to yours, both in terms of dating in general, as well as understanding how women think and work at their deepest core. There are no angels. All women are dirty and I do not mean that in a derogatory way. They might not sleep with you on the first date but they've done it with one or one hundred men before you, or they have wanted to do it with certain men but never did because those men weren't interested in them. At 38, you are a bit old to be looking for virgins but I can't chastise you for wanting low-mileage women because I have successfully dated attractive women in their early 20's while in my mid 40's. So while virgins are out, low-mileage women are a (very faint) possibility at your age but you'll never truly know a woman's actual mileage anyway. Some may tell you outright but most of them hide it because they know some men screen for it.

How do you find the balance between the relationship and player vibe? I'm struggling with that because some women I meet for the first date have hinted at me the player vibes, like do you come here often, how many girls have you taken here?
On the other hand, when I give out relationship vibes in my earlier dating days, it was always going to fail. So I tend to be a little more aloof, which coincidentally gives out the player vibe subconsciously.

I don't worry about it. It is better she suspect you are a player than a relationship-oriented guy. The relationship has to be her idea. You have to be aloof to it prior to her asking. Also, just because a girl asks you questions like how often do you come here etc, it doesn't necessarily mean she thinks you are player. She is just trying to feel you out. I find humorous deflection to work best. Do you have any idea as to why some of these women might be suspecting you as a player?

 

[member160292]

I don't worry about it. It is better she suspect you are a player than a relationship-oriented guy. The relationship has to be her idea. You have to be aloof to it prior to her asking. Also, just because a girl asks you questions like how often do you come here etc, it doesn't necessarily mean she thinks you are player. She is just trying to feel you out. I find humorous deflection to work best. Do you have any idea as to why some of these women might be suspecting you as a player?

One example recently was her asking me 'How many girls have you taken here' as I was walking her out to her car. Granted, I don't think the date went great so I was very aloof towards the end. I wasn't quick on my feet with a response because that really came out of left field considering how the date was ending.