"you look like a player"

[dj_china]

before I even open my mouth with girls, so many girls tell me this.

or after we talk for a while, chicks tell me that their first, IMMEDIATE impression of me is that I'm a player. so this has nothing to do with how I talk, what I say, etc.

thoughts? how to play this off the best way...?

since they already feel like I am a player, maybe it will be better to play nice/innocent guy who doesn't have a lot of experience with girls?

or should I capitalize on this "player" impression and blow it up huge like I have women left and right?

 

[Proselytiser]

Post a pic I'm interested to know what a player looks like!

 

[dicod3r]

I used to think this was golden... then after the 10th, 11th... nth time it happened and I did NOT get the girl it became annoying...

I'm guessing you're still in the 2nd, 3rd time where its still 'cool'


The reason you get this response is because you are generating attraction like you're supposed to be doing, but you're ignoring the comfort and rapport you need to close the deal. As you've already stated, the key is to connect and vibe and turn down the attraction. Good thing is its better to have this problem than alot of other problems... this is easy to fix

If you're consistently generating the type of attraction that causes girls to say this to you (even from 1st impression, congrats on ur attraction game btw!!) you in your UNIQUE case, might want to seek rapport a little quicker...

From the off-set try seeking rapport like you would a friend.... ask more questions about HER right from the get-go... this will nullify ur attraction game on the spot... calibrate it so u don't end up on the opposite side of the spectrum though, find the sweet spot bro

 

[trv26]

Do many people also tell you you're good looking?

 

[dj_china]

I used to think this was golden... then after the 10th, 11th... nth time it happened and I did NOT get the girl it became annoying...

I'm guessing you're still in the 2nd, 3rd time where its still 'cool'


The reason you get this response is because you are generating attraction like you're supposed to be doing, but you're ignoring the comfort and rapport you need to close the deal. As you've already stated, the key is to connect and vibe and turn down the attraction. Good thing is its better to have this problem than alot of other problems... this is easy to fix

If you're consistently generating the type of attraction that causes girls to say this to you (even from 1st impression, congrats on ur attraction game btw!!) you in your UNIQUE case, might want to seek rapport a little quicker...

From the off-set try seeking rapport like you would a friend.... ask more questions about HER right from the get-go... this will nullify ur attraction game on the spot... calibrate it so u don't end up on the opposite side of the spectrum though, find the sweet spot bro

interesting -- I will try to incorporate this

Do many people also tell you you're good looking?

this is actually a tough one. most people consider me just slightly above average. but in rare cases some people actually think I look like famous actors.
equally rare, people will tell me I'm ugly. haha. but I've dated and/or hooked up with girls from all 3 categories

 

[trv26]

I ask because I believe the two usually go hand in hand. It goes something like this (in my opinion at least)

You're good looking ----> You're likely to do well with women ----> women know that ----> You get labelled a player without having done a thing

They are attracted to you but are worried that, since you are likely to be in high demand, you are more likely to cheat. Kind of like how average guys assume a good-looking woman is high maintenance. She's in high demand and thus they'll need to be extra careful not to piss her off since she could be off at a whim.

I'd say be nice but firm. No need to play up the image, the attraction part of the job is done. All you need to do is convince them they wont be kicked out of bet the next morning while you are leading them to it.

Lucky you, I'm damn jealous!!

I'm sure there'll be a few guys following me who'll try and shoot down what I say, but do think about it.

 

[War Against Betaism]

"You know me so well already!"

People usually get caught off guard with comments like this. Things were going well for me and this one chick and she said "You're kinda ****y," and then I started denying it and justifying and making all these excuses and the next thing I knew she was gone.

 

[speakeasy]

Good. That's a good problem to have. If a girl thinks you're a player at first impression, then you at least know you have a vibe that ATTRACTS women. Trust me, a guy that gives off an instant beta or creepy vibe would like to be in your shoes.

 

[sodbuster]

"Appearances are deceiving,cause you are dressed like a hooker,but I don't think you are one."

 

[Unbridled_Phoenix]

*heavy sarcasm* "And you look like an innocent little bunny hopping through the forest."

I might try that sometime.

I always deflect it when I hear this one. "Hell, don't know what you're talking about", then onto something else.

The less I try to always have the perfect reply to "you look like a player", the better off I am. As another poster said, they have to see somewhere that they can get their hooks in you, so don't try to be perfect. Just by hearing "you look like a player", you're leagues ahead of the game.

 

[Dante420]

DJ China, looks like we might have the same 'problem'. I get that a lot too and it can be before I open my mouth, it's a calm confident walk that gives it off maybe.

I like that response Unbridled Phoenix came up with, I usually respond to it with "And how is that?" or "I never played anyone"