You leave her and three weeks later she calls you -

[jophil28]

OK men, much has been promoted here about just "walking away" instead of hours of talking and negotiating and trying get her to see reason (like that is gonna happen)

STR8UP says "Just walk away " - it is a mighty appealing and a mighty compelling concept.

So here is the scenario - You are in a "relationship" with this HB9 for a couple months. She is beautiful and sexy and you have surely gotten a big dose of "oneitis". THis may be 'the ONE' . Then the drama starts to emerge -

One night she just walks out of the club when you talk to another woman for all of ten minutes.

Then you buy two tickets to a big Charity Ball. She goes with you to the ticket office to pick them up. The next day she calls and says that she won't be coming to the Ball -her sister is having a big party on that night and her sister "insists" that she come along ( you are not invited).

You just walk away because your gut knows that this woman is either unstable or her IL has dropped- you are shattered .

Three weeks later she calls. She wants to meet "to talk " .
There is still a BIG part of you that wants this woman. YOu want her back MORE that you want her gone.
What do you do and what do you say IF you meet with her ?

 

[STR8UP]

Three weeks later she calls. She wants to meet "to talk " .
There is still a BIG part of you that wants this woman. YOu want her back MORE that you want her gone.
What do you do and what do you say IF you meet with her ?

Women don't have "good" talks.

If her IL dropped enough for her to pull this crap why would you want to subject yourself to another round?

And why give the woman the satisfaction of knowing that she can walk away from you and that you will take her back at any time?

 

[STR8UP]

And despite the title of the thread, SHE did the walking away, you simply acknowledged it properly.

 

[joekerr31]

first, this woman totally disrespected you. had you pay for tickets, then cancelled on you, then didn't talk to you for three weeks. now you are chalking up her behavior to her seeing you talking to some other woman for 10 minutes - ummmm, so what?

the SANE response would be for her to cut you off. not get you to spend money ona charity ball and then cancel on you. this was her punishment to you. not just to not talk to you, but also hit you in the wallet a little as well.

now, the good thing is you handled this perfectly. by not calling her you've clearly established that you are the prize and not her and she needs to wrap her head aroudn that. she's attempted to 'punish' you and was probably expecting you to come crawling back as 90% of guys out there do when they are attracted to a woman.

the fact that you didn't has sparked her interest in you again.

so in one sense you are in a really good spot here in terms of tapping that ass. i mean, she busted your balls, you reacted like an alpha male, now you get your reward (p*ssy).

or, if you aren't interested in a woman who is OBVIOUSLY a game player, then walk away now. she is never going to change. she'll be pulling this kind of stuff forever.

so if you want to hit it, then pursue with your eyes wide open. if you are looking for more than just sex from her, then walk away, cuz all she has to offer are games.

 

[Juando]

first, this woman totally disrespected you. had you pay for tickets, then cancelled on you, then didn't talk to you for three weeks. now you are chalking up her behavior to her seeing you talking to some other woman for 10 minutes - ummmm, so what?

the SANE response would be for her to cut you off. not get you to spend money ona charity ball and then cancel on you. this was her punishment to you. not just to not talk to you, but also hit you in the wallet a little as well.

now, the good thing is you handled this perfectly. by not calling her you've clearly established that you are the prize and not her and she needs to wrap her head aroudn that. she's attempted to 'punish' you and was probably expecting you to come crawling back as 90% of guys out there do when they are attracted to a woman.

the fact that you didn't has sparked her interest in you again.

so in one sense you are in a really good spot here in terms of tapping that ass. i mean, she busted your balls, you reacted like an alpha male, now you get your reward (p*ssy).

or, if you aren't interested in a woman who is OBVIOUSLY a game player, then walk away now. she is never going to change. she'll be pulling this kind of stuff forever.

so if you want to hit it, then pursue with your eyes wide open. if you are looking for more than just sex from her, then walk away, cuz all she has to offer are games.

Good advice, JO.

The last *talk* I had hermetically sealed me in an AFC bubble that I'm still struggling to get out of...anybody picking up the GPS beacon out there...
(I did get somewhat even after the talk: I emailed her and asked for her slutty 19 yr old cousin's number).

You're a cool guy and if anyone can pull off the ass-tapping it's you but I'd rather see you find solace in another plate, it's too risky with your one-itis obviously still working its way through your system.

It's not about you and what you can do, it's about this woman not being intact as a person now and probably anytime soon, barring a miracle.

Grab that plate.

 

[drmeathead]

i say talk to her. see what she wants. go to a decent place like an applebys but go dutch at the last second. see how that plays out. **** her.

 

[KontrollerX]

I'm with Str8up on this one.

Don't go meet up with her or any of that sh!t.

Jo you know well gameplayers.

We've both been through the ultimate game players hell with Cluster B's.

Now are you going to let a normal woman game's player pull a similar bullsh!t game with your heart?

No sir you are not.

Walk away as Str8up's great post from a while back has stated.

You walk away now you walk away the winner.

You engage this chick you risk losing your dignity.

Please don't do it.

 

[STR8UP]

Walk away as Str8up's great post from a while back has stated.

You walk away now you walk away the winner.

You engage this chick you risk losing your dignity.

Please don't do it.

I might end up in a position that I will be forced to see if I can take my own advice.

You gotta take it on a case by case basis, but if you feel she had ahold of the reigns when things fizzled out you probably shouldn't be talking to her anymore.

 

[aliasguy]

OK men, much has been promoted here about just "walking away" instead of hours of talking and negotiating and trying get her to see reason (like that is gonna happen)

STR8UP says "Just walk away " - it is a mighty appealing and a mighty compelling concept.

So here is the scenario - You are in a "relationship" with this HB9 for a couple months. She is beautiful and sexy and you have surely gotten a big dose of "oneitis". THis may be 'the ONE' . Then the drama starts to emerge -

One night she just walks out of the club when you talk to another woman for all of ten minutes.

Then you buy two tickets to a big Charity Ball. She goes with you to the ticket office to pick them up. The next day she calls and says that she won't be coming to the Ball -her sister is having a big party on that night and her sister "insists" that she come along ( you are not invited).

You just walk away because your gut knows that this woman is either unstable or her IL has dropped- you are shattered .

Three weeks later she calls. She wants to meet "to talk " .
There is still a BIG part of you that wants this woman. YOu want her back MORE that you want her gone.
What do you do and what do you say IF you meet with her ?

Here's what you do:

You go ahead and "meet" her to "talk," and you gird your loins and you admit to yourself that it IS over, and she's unsuitable, and it will NEVER be a "real deal."

And when you meet her, you listen to whatever B.S. she has to say. And then, if possible, you f*ck her, with NO comments or response to her little "talk." (If you can't f*ck her, you go on to plan B, the other girl, which you have wisely set up before. )



Then (either way) you never contact her again, nor do you respond to ANY communication from her again.

BTW, when you nail her, be EXTRA rough. She'll miss you even more down the road.

 

[Juando]

Good advice, JO.

The last *talk* I had hermetically sealed me in an AFC bubble that I'm still struggling to get out of...anybody picking up the GPS beacon out there...

Oh I forgot to mention one thing that happened at my "meeting" that you guys will get a "kick" out of:

I met her at a cafe and while waiting on line to order she was holding on tight to my arm. I asked her to go get us a table while I ordered but she said,
No I just want to be near you, just want to touch you...

Then when we sat down she transformed into the she-devil psycho she truly was and spent what seemed like the next eternity reaming my AFC a$$ for every male transgression listed in the solar system, including my telling her that one of my co-workers complimented my haircut.

My bad for not seeing a psycho coming. Awesome pu$$y though.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo JOPHIL,


I'm in agreement with the rest of the men here in the sense that you should consider her "damaged goods" from here on out. Because how she devalued your attention and financial expense, showed what her TRUE character really is.

You can ALWAYS tell what type of person someone is by how they either treat people who can do NOTHING for them, or how they treat people who have simply fallen out of favor. If nothing else, her behavior throws up red flags about her maturity level------but I'm sure you had these kinds of suspicions going in, though.

IF you DO engage this chick again, like many here have already said:

Basically adopt the mindset that she is Miss Right Now, as opposed to Miss Right. And don't hold your breath expecting her to prove you otherwise, either. Anything is possible, but I have found that most women (especially YOUNGER women), will crack under the pressure to exhibit "good behavior" after having behaved badly previously.

It's as if something inside SOME women gives them an overblown sense of entitlement, and/or delusional thinking that leads them to believe that THEY are never really responsible for SOME of the misteps in a relationship. So be on the lookout for that.

But again, if you MUST re-engage this woman, then YOUR mission is to treat meeting up with this woman like a HOSTAGE negotiation.

SHE is the one being "blackmailed".

Your ATTENTION is the "hostage".

And YOU, JOPHIL...are the muthafukkin' "TERRORIST!"

EVERYTHING has to be on YOUR terms. Everything has to happen YOUR way, on YOUR timetable, and to YOUR liking. You see, all of these things are really "hoops" that you have engineered for her to "jump through" in order to please YOU.

And I hate to say it, but most of the time, this tactic works better at exposing her carefully camouflaged "unwillingness" moreso than it does at getting her behavior under control and putting the burgeoning relationship back on track.

But you never know...at least, THIS way, you will make her EARN you or LEAVE you with more FINALITY. This is a way you can provide YOURSELF closure as opposed to waiting for her, or some other outside circumstance to give it to you.

Also, Juando:

My bad for not seeing a psycho coming. Awesome pu$$y though.

I have found that the more psycho (mentally unbalanced, major head issued, or emotionally erratic) the women are, the BETTER they are at "performing" sexually. And when I say "performing" I mean JUST THAT. I believe that many of the women who have the most crippling emotional problems are the ones who come across as the FREAKIEST freaks.

Deep down, they already KNOW and think of themselves as damaged goods, and they know it's only a matter of time before YOU find out------so they have to try to HOOK YOU IN before you do!

And sexuality is often their primary, or ONLY weapon of choice.

Someone like that former Rap Video Vixen "Karinne Steffan (SUPAHEAD)", is a good example of this type of behavior.

Let's be CAREFUL out there, troops....

 

[betterthandead]

Move on, nothing else to see at all.

 

[jophil28]

Ok men, I read all of your replies and then i planned my strategy befotre I met her a few hours ago.
A big 'thank you' to VU who is always on the ground, armed and dangerous.

Some background - Two things bothered me about this woman's behavior. The first was her "walkout" at the club when I talked to another woman. However she ( my HB G/f ) was sitting right next to me while I was chatting to the other woman whom i have known for years. HB9 got shytty because all my attention was not on her so she stuck her nose into the clouds and stormed out. Bad behavior !
BUT i followed her outside and (long story short ) we wound up making out in the front seat of her car with my hands on 'IT' She was groaning and breathing steam on the windshield..
( however, in hindsight, I think that doing that with her was "like rewarding my dog for sh!tting on the carpet" )

Secondly, then she cancelled our date at the Ball after she watched me fork out $100 for two tickets.. THis got me mad as a hornet ,but I jusr cut her off without a rant and a rave.and we did not speak for over three weeks and then she called me "to talk ".

OK, so we meet a few hours ago in the coffee shop and I just look poker faced while she craps on with the usual female mindless justifications. (it was all MY fault apparently) . I then calmly tell her that when we were apart I got to know a couple of other women ( true)and that we probably are not a good match for an LTR BUT I did enjoy the sex SO I think that we should be FWBs ...."Lets keep what worked, OK "

I also let her know that i intend to date those two other women because I like their company. ( I am thinking Rollo T and his Options Theory ) She looked furious and very flustered. SHe stumbled and fumbled for words. It was clear that she (a gorgeous 40 year old ) had NEVER imagined that SHE was ever going to be qualified or "positioned " like this ..I got a glimpse of the female arrogance and entitlement that we have discuused on this forum and I saw that same self-importance fade right in front of me.
I had flipped the script on her. I had maneuvered her into being in my frame- she knew that she had to compete with the others or bail. I was on the pedestal and she knew it.
Checkmate - honey !

So I walked to the bathroom and then when I came out she was waiting right outside the Men's Room door ! WTF !

She said " WE need to fix this or finish this honestly " (She was trying to pull me into some convo of HER design ).
I said, " Perhaps some other time. " And I walked off leaving her looking like a kangaroo in the headlights.

I can say this - that the words come more easily these days , and the courage and confidence to say them come directly from reading and writing on this forum.

Thanks - You guys are great.

 

[Metro3pilot]

Nice way to handle it .....

FWB may be a tad bit too dangerous, maybe better to let this one swirl down the drain. You have the upper hand, she will challenge you for it soon enough ... once a game player always a game player

Good on you for walking away without burning the bridge before you left ...wish I had that kind of patience, but normaly I torch the bridge !

:rockon:

 

[guru1000]

Perfect!

Now you set the PRIZE FRAME. She is dumbfounded and out of control. She wants her frame back. Now you get to see the true manipulation and tactics of this woman.

What flusters her even more is her tactic backfired.

Now have fun and dont give up the frame.

 

[jophil28]

Perfect!

Now have fun and dont give up the frame.

Geez, until I found this place I did not know what a "frame " was.
Now I know how to set a "frame" AND how to hold it.

Can you imagine this - A HB9 sitting in a booth right across from you. She arrives with THAT "butter would not melt" face on. She looked smug with an air of self-importance and started in on me about why she was "justified" in doing the walk out and why she flaked on the Ball date. I just stared blankly and said nothing. When she was done, I told her in less that 50 words that I met two other women, I want to date them and that she (HB9) is basically not up to being in a LTR with me BUT she can have sex with me. Her face turned red and she slumped back in her chair and folded her arms and pouted.

You ever seen someone pop one of those party balloons which then fly around the room and kinda flop on the ground ??.

 

[mrRuckus]

That was pretty good except you never demanded your money back.


The hard part for me in these types of situations is getting a rush and ending it when it should end rather than living up the drama of the moment. These situations are fun to me even though just walking out is the smart long term move.

 

[##17]

OK men, much has been promoted here about just "walking away" instead of hours of talking and negotiating and trying get her to see reason (like that is gonna happen)

STR8UP says "Just walk away " - it is a mighty appealing and a mighty compelling concept.

So here is the scenario - You are in a "relationship" with this HB9 for a couple months. She is beautiful and sexy and you have surely gotten a big dose of "oneitis". THis may be 'the ONE' . Then the drama starts to emerge -

One night she just walks out of the club when you talk to another woman for all of ten minutes.

Then you buy two tickets to a big Charity Ball. She goes with you to the ticket office to pick them up. The next day she calls and says that she won't be coming to the Ball -her sister is having a big party on that night and her sister "insists" that she come along ( you are not invited).

You just walk away because your gut knows that this woman is either unstable or her IL has dropped- you are shattered .

Three weeks later she calls. She wants to meet "to talk " .
There is still a BIG part of you that wants this woman. YOu want her back MORE that you want her gone.
What do you do and what do you say IF you meet with her ?

We aint "talking" until she at least pays me back for the Charity Ball tickets. Both tickets. It's not so much the money, it's a matter of respect. See, I can't ever see myself with someone who disrespects my time and energy like that.

jophil, if you really want her back, you (and she) are better off if you make her do something to EARN it. I think that telling her that you wont talk until she at least pays for the tickets (with the above reason given) is a good idea. Either she'll come forward and pay, which will give you your money, her respect, and some extra self-esteem (and will let everyone know that she is serious), or she won't, which will tell you some things about her and save you some trouble. So either way you win.