You know what the most DJ character trait is?

[backbreaker]

it's not being funny, it's not being arrogant, it's not being confident (per say) I don't think.

I have found that the hardest thing, to truely have, to master, is patience.


We live in a society that wants what it wants and it wants it right now. We want to lose 20 pounds in 2 weeks. We want to be a millionaire over night. We want to have 5 plates of HB 8's and up only after being on the site for 1 month.

And even the traits that we develop to an extent are extensions of our impatience. we become ****y + funny beucase we aren't confident. We'd rather peacock rather than hit the gym. We venture to online dating beucase we want to meet women NAO and we don't have time to do it the "old fashioned way"


But the man that can conquer patience, has conquered all.

I'm not going to sit here and tell you I have this **** down pact.. There are some areas in my life where I am extremely patient. There are some areas in my life where I am just as impatient. but today I do understand that he vast majority if not just about all of my problems today deal with patience and acceptance in some way shape or form. If I'm not happy it's beucase I want something to be the way I want it to be, right now. OR tihngs aren't moving as fast as I personally think they should be moving.

Patience is the hardest character DJ trait to master, yet it's the most important. If you are patient, there is nothing that you can't have. There is not a level of HB that you can't slay if you can patiently work on improving yourself to demand that level of HB in your life.

How to Properly Put Things Into Perspective

something that helps me is that the things I want, when i sit back and look at them from an outside point of view; I know, KNOW I 'm going to get them. I'm not mad beucase I might or might not get what i want, i'm really mad beucase I'm not going to get what I want NOW. I want it NOW lol. '

like I remember when i was in my 200's weight wise and I wanted to date HB's dammit. lol. And they didnt' want to date me. Realistically I knew that eventually I would get down to a look that women would find attractive and that would in turn bost my self esteem/confidence beucase I was overweight and I knew it. However I also knew that I would eventually get back in shape. So my issue wasn't so much that women would never like me again, my issue was that I was currently lonely and I didn't like it. But now that I know what the problem is I can reframe it.. now that I know I'm lonley I can tell myself that within a time frame I won't be lonley as long as I keep doing what I'm doing instead of throwing my hands in the air and *****ing.


Slow the **** Down

The biggest obstical that I had to face, and still do is that by nature I'm a 'holic. when i work I'm a workaholic. When I use I'm an addict. I don't tip toe around ****. So when I want somethign I want to throw myself into whatever it is I want until I get it ,but this isn't working with patience. This is you being just as impatient as you were before.

understand what I am saying; you should work hard towards your goals and your ambitions but not to the point where you stop doing everything else. You should never stop chasing hobbies beucase you want *****. You should never stop going to the gym beucase you want a promotion at work.

Everything you want, if you are patient and diligent about your goals will happen, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.

 

[sageproduct]

I swear I learn more from you than the entire rest of this forum combined.

Advice is unique and specific to the individual, so I follow all your posts. Pretty much all of the time I identify with your values and psyche, right down to the fwcking fetishes like enjoying legs and feet on a woman lol.

How your spelling is so bad though, is way beyond me

It gives me heart that you've overcome a drug addiction because I have some terrible, terrible habits I need to get rid of ASAP, and they all stem from the 'holic characteristic. Lucky for me I'm not into drinking and have never done any other drugs, because I honestly don't think I can kick a drug habit...

 

[zenaddict]

so you`ve been here since a decade, could you pls tell me what you`ve achieved with your patience?

 

[Tagz]

it's not being funny, it's not being arrogant, it's not being confident (per say) I don't think.

I have found that the hardest thing, to truely have, to master, is patience.


We live in a society that wants what it wants and it wants it right now. We want to lose 20 pounds in 2 weeks. We want to be a millionaire over night. We want to have 5 plates of HB 8's and up only after being on the site for 1 month.

And even the traits that we develop to an extent are extensions of our impatience. we become ****y + funny beucase we aren't confident. We'd rather peacock rather than hit the gym. We venture to online dating beucase we want to meet women NAO and we don't have time to do it the "old fashioned way"


But the man that can conquer patience, has conquered all.

I'm not going to sit here and tell you I have this **** down pact.. There are some areas in my life where I am extremely patient. There are some areas in my life where I am just as impatient. but today I do understand that he vast majority if not just about all of my problems today deal with patience and acceptance in some way shape or form. If I'm not happy it's beucase I want something to be the way I want it to be, right now. OR tihngs aren't moving as fast as I personally think they should be moving.

Patience is the hardest character DJ trait to master, yet it's the most important. If you are patient, there is nothing that you can't have. There is not a level of HB that you can't slay if you can patiently work on improving yourself to demand that level of HB in your life.

How to Properly Put Things Into Perspective

something that helps me is that the things I want, when i sit back and look at them from an outside point of view; I know, KNOW I 'm going to get them. I'm not mad beucase I might or might not get what i want, i'm really mad beucase I'm not going to get what I want NOW. I want it NOW lol. '

like I remember when i was in my 200's weight wise and I wanted to date HB's dammit. lol. And they didnt' want to date me. Realistically I knew that eventually I would get down to a look that women would find attractive and that would in turn bost my self esteem/confidence beucase I was overweight and I knew it. However I also knew that I would eventually get back in shape. So my issue wasn't so much that women would never like me again, my issue was that I was currently lonely and I didn't like it. But now that I know what the problem is I can reframe it.. now that I know I'm lonley I can tell myself that within a time frame I won't be lonley as long as I keep doing what I'm doing instead of throwing my hands in the air and *****ing.


Slow the **** Down

The biggest obstical that I had to face, and still do is that by nature I'm a 'holic. when i work I'm a workaholic. When I use I'm an addict. I don't tip toe around ****. So when I want somethign I want to throw myself into whatever it is I want until I get it ,but this isn't working with patience. This is you being just as impatient as you were before.

understand what I am saying; you should work hard towards your goals and your ambitions but not to the point where you stop doing everything else. You should never stop chasing hobbies beucase you want *****. You should never stop going to the gym beucase you want a promotion at work.

Everything you want, if you are patient and diligent about your goals will happen, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.

How I wished you posted this sooner! I had to learn it the hard way. And let me tell you, it was pretty nasty and I felt really bad after all of it. The saddest part is I didn't get what I wanted in the end after sacrificing so much time when it could've been used to get myself some serious income and self-improvement physically,morally and psychologically. :cuss:

Definitely a lesson to be learned there and your post only clarified what I had thought over by myself.

Thanks!

 

[NewAndImproved]

Wonderful post.

Sounds like you're talking about a specific kind of patience that is required when it comes to self-improvement.

I read something recently where it was talking about the trap of self-improvement. On the one hand, the guy on the path of self-discovery is doing a great and noble thing. He's trying to become a better man. He's trying to step up another rung on his career track. He's trying to get with better looking and higher quality women. All good stuff.

But on the other hand, the guy who's after self-improvement is also being hard on himself. He's not accepting who he is now. He's worrying that who he is right now is not enough. Truth is, you're enough now, too.

 

[backbreaker]

Wonderful post.

Sounds like you're talking about a specific kind of patience that is required when it comes to self-improvement.

I read something recently where it was talking about the trap of self-improvement. On the one hand, the guy on the path of self-discovery is doing a great and noble thing. He's trying to become a better man. He's trying to step up another rung on his career track. He's trying to get with better looking and higher quality women. All good stuff.

But on the other hand, the guy who's after self-improvement is also being hard on himself. He's not accepting who he is now. He's worrying that who he is right now is not enough. Truth is, you're enough now, too.

that's a very interesting and thought provoking response.

This is actually an issue I have with AA/NA and while I still attend meetings and help people out, don't consider myself a real "member" anymore.

I believe that a good drive to become better is quite healthy. And how does this really deal with the real world? In other words, telling someone that they are great, when they aren't, ****s a person up worse than telling a person who isn't' where they want to be that everything is okay and will be fine just accecpt who you are.

like I went to a meeting about a week ago, and this particular meeting is a bunch of old timers and they are sitting around, one dude in the meeting is just wearing pajamas, the other dude has probably not shaved his beard since 1970, none of them give a **** about how they look and all of them are just stuffing their face with cake and chocolate the entire meeting. I will never be that. Ever. I will kill myself before I'm that.

But **** what can you tell them? they are fine just the way they are. take it one day at a time man. don't push yourself too hard. accecpt who you are and what you are.

I think what I'm trying to say is that accepting who you are as "enough" creates idleness and laziness and then when you say YOU are fine, then if something wrong it's not you it's everyone else. that's not very healthy.


I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to sleep with hot women. I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to be in shape or having a fat bank account or what every our goal is. As long as you understand the undertaking of work that has to go on and are willing to do that work to get it.


BUT

at the same time, not to the point where you stop doing everything else. Don't stop being a good father to your kids because you want a pay raise. Don't stop reading books , real books because you want to **** hb 8's and spend ALL your time cold approaching or dating. Don't be in such a hurry to get in shape that you stop hanging out with the people that are closest to you. Patience means incorporating your goals into your life but keeping your life as well.


What I have a problem with, and what this post is supposed to underscore is the people who are disillusioned into thinking they deserve what they want right now with no work or that they have suffered enough and they DESERVE this or they SHOULD HAVE THIS RIGHT NOW. no you shouldn't beucase if you should you would have it right now.

There is a guy on the main forum now.. dammit i quit i talked to 100 girls and i have a 1% success rate. I want to date hot *****es right the **** now. I got rejected 100 times. this **** doesn't work. That's what I'm talking about. The only thing keeping him from slaying hot broads is his patience to figure out what is keeping him from being desirable in women's eyes, tweaking himself to become a better man and keep practicing. It's not that hot women aren't obtainable. It's that he's not willing to do what it takes to obtain them beucase he feels that he should have it already.

 

[BatJuan]

Wonderful post.

Sounds like you're talking about a specific kind of patience that is required when it comes to self-improvement.

I read something recently where it was talking about the trap of self-improvement. On the one hand, the guy on the path of self-discovery is doing a great and noble thing. He's trying to become a better man. He's trying to step up another rung on his career track. He's trying to get with better looking and higher quality women. All good stuff.

But on the other hand, the guy who's after self-improvement is also being hard on himself. He's not accepting who he is now. He's worrying that who he is right now is not enough. Truth is, you're enough now, too.

First off to the OP, excellent post.

As for this idea of being enough now, I both agree and disagree with that concept. True, we can always work and never be satisfied with where we are, but I've seen people take your idea to the extreme. They will say things to me like "I don't want to do what you're doing because that's not me." But what are they doing? They spend all their time sitting home and watching television or just being physically and socially inactive. They're depressed because they don't have the beautiful girl or because life is monotonous, but they won't do anything to pick themselves out from that struggle.

This needs to be a balanced approach, one of enjoying life as you experience it, but never giving up on your ultimate goals, and never worrying if they don't seem to be coming as fast as we like.