Rollo said:
I don't know what it is about former military guys, but they're like universally whipped.
I guess we need to finally meet up one day and have a beer
I served with a good number of guys would fit your hypothesis. But there's also a lot of guys who don't.
It's been awhile since I served so my recollections may be outdated. Whether you're an newbie Ensign (aka 2nd Lt?) or a E1 I think it boiled down to this.
- You're right out of HS or college bringing that juvenile AFC mindset with you in the service. Almost like getting married to early.
- When you join you give up the one most important thing a DJ realizes, that you need to put yourself, career and other things first. But in the service, Uncle Sam comes first. Sure a few guys do their own thing on the side, but for 99% they succumb to taking orders and with the primary DJ motivator killed off, they replace it with the quest for women. I think str8up's post was getting at this.
- Peer pressure. When I was in, peer pressure was pretty high regarding gettin' laid. If you weren't getting laid, something was wrong with you. I think the military peer pressure to be with a woman was like 5x worse than HS.
- Longer absences alter the value a women in a AFC's mindset. In other words, try being deployed for 3-6 months (in my case) and you never see any women. You can argue spinning plates, being more indifferent to women, etc. Good luck. When you pull into any port, goal # 1 is getting wasted, goal # 2 is gettin' laid (for some guys it was the other way around). Funny aside: On one return, the girl I was seeing (and who was probably seeing 3 other guys!) picked me up and then picked up off sale as I still wasn't old enough. Note to self, slightly older women are good for at least one thing
. Anyways, my mind was so set on getting drunk and laid I drove up to the security point with a open beer in my hand. Nice renta-cop lady wrote me a ticket, made me pour out the beer and within 4hrs, mission #1 and #2 accomplished. Three days later our Dept Head called me after being notified of the ticket from my Chief. He commenced to chow me for drinking and driving, asked me who bought the alcohol. Then smiled, told me to pay the ticket and that skipper would never see it. If you ask me, even he (O4 with over 10yrs experience) still had the same mindset. Plus she was so f'ing hot, I think he was patting me on the back for being able to pull that.
- Women almost get the frame by default. Let's say you're spinning two plates (two different ports). But you only see them once every 6months to a year. That's a lot of idle time on their hands and tons of other guys coming through. Pretty soon, you're not priority number one and right there, the "we chase what runs away from us" kicks in and they own the frame. It's pretty pathetic coming back thinking they would wait (which you learn later in life was the real problem) only to have them pity fvck you and then dump you for the next sailor, grunt or gomer who just happened to by there 3wks ago when she couldn't wait anymore. Try asking someone with HS level relationship skills to just accept it and move on (military or not). Guess what, they cave, negotiate and accept the frame of the women who now realizes her true value.
- The women have more options. In this enviroment they are being hit one as much or more than a hottie in college. They know their value. A guy who can score one is far more likely to go AFC and accept her frame because he perceives her value to better than his. It's like things flip.
- Maybe taking orders has something to do with it, but I think it's more the items above.
Imagine being in HS for another 4yrs and everyone acted the same. Now add in the fact, you really can't control your personal destiny for those same 4yrs. How many guys would really discover the value of dating multiple women - probably like 1 in 50 max. I think the military is like that but a bit worse because they view women and their time more scarce.
For every Sgt or Lt or Chief or airman you see with a wife who b!tches and wines and lets herself go, ask yourself this. How many pathetically bored doctors, accountants, engineers, technicians, web developers, machinists, salesmen, etc are stuck in the same dam situation - AND THEY ARE F'ING HOME 365 days a year. Now, who's more pathetic?
A different twist on this. One of my favorite recollections of my entire time serving was from a day pulling in after being deployed 4months with no outside contact. Here's a Master Chief's wife waiting on the peer with the two kids. This guy was DJ all the way. She had never strayed, never left him, never neglected herself - she was about as good a wife as you're ever gonna find. Try applying that stress to any (non-military) marriage you think is successful - good luck. She had done that exact same thing 26 friggin' times over almost 30years!!!! BTW - That is very, very rare.
Why is youth wasted on the young.