you have to approach

[Hamurabimbi]

Having the luxury of dispassionately observing (now that my Blue State Shvthole has reopened) the bar scene. (I get a once a week free night from the GF). I'm convinced that guys that make the moves will win out. My observation is that guys that have the cajones to approach women, will do well. As I have a GF and 2 back ups, I'm not in the game. OLD seems crap now from everyone guy I've talked to (though I haven't tried myself. No desire to get castrated by the GF). I have witnessed average looking dudes do fine with women if they've 'Man'd" up and started the conversation.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

You nailed it. But take the majority of YouTube channels on dating and game. How many if any actually approach regularly? Bet outside of 1% none are.

Game is a numbers game. Everything is practice. The game, pulling, rejection, ghosting, etc is funny.

Black pill is common because of the fact most fellas have rubbish experience with women via OLD. There's no actually going through the fire and taking your D out. I blame low T. Far too much spectator mode on pods and not getting girls.

 

[Charm2K]

Iam not so active here, but what does "OLD" mean ?

 

[DontThinkTwice]

What is a "once a week free night from the GF"?

"No desire to get castrated by the GF?"

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Iam not so active here, but what does "OLD" mean ?

Tinder. Etc.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

What is a "once a week free night from the GF"?

"No desire to get castrated by the GF?"

One night a week I stay at my place, rather than her place. And I can do whatever I want (within reason).
If she found me on OLD. There’d be Hell to pay. She has literally physically threatened me.
GF= Girl Friend

 

[DontThinkTwice]

The reason I asked is it sounded like you need permission from your GF to have a "free night". What if you take a second night? Will she dump you? Why would you stay with a woman that physically threatens you? Can you find another or are you stricken with oneitis over this woman?

 

[Hamurabimbi]

The reason I asked is it sounded like you need permission from your GF to have a "free night". What if you take a second night? Will she dump you? Why would you stay with a woman that physically threatens you? Can you find another or are you stricken with oneitis over this woman?

I can take another night. But she’ll pout. She’ll never dump me. Her bark is wirse than her bite. I’m not worried about her actually harming me. She’s really fun to do things with. We have a lot in common. I do love her.

 

[Bingo-Player]

You get 50X the results just by approaching in real life compared to online

BUT ..... you have got to be smooth

Nervousness is just about tolerated but she can never sense fear

 

[SW15]

Iam not so active here, but what does "OLD" mean ?

Online dating. It's an outdated acronym from when websites were the primary means of tech-assisted dating.

Black pill is common because of the fact most fellas have rubbish experience with women via OLD.

Yes, most men have bad experiences with dating through tech assisted means. This was true during the website era of the 2000s and has gotten even worse in the swipe app era. The swipe app era took every bad attribute of the website era and multiplied it.

The website era began because many men were struggling with bar approaching in the 1980s/early 1990s and didn't have sufficient social circles to find women. It's amazing that a larger percentage of single men have had worse experiences with dating on websites and swipe apps in the last 25 years as compared to the men who were struggling with bar approaching in the late 1970s-early 1990s.

I'm convinced that guys that make the moves will win out. My observation is that guys that have the cajones to approach women, will do well. I have witnessed average looking dudes do fine with women if they've 'Man'd" up and started the conversation.

Approaching is not easy. It's probably a better option than swipe apps but it stinks to do. Having a social circle capable of arranging dates is worth its weight in gold but that isn't feasible for a lot of men. If starting from essentially nothing, building a social circle that can lead to dates can take anywhere from 2-5 years, if ever. That's why men need to approach at a certain point. Social circles are great when they happen but won't happen for a certain percentage of men. I'm in my late 30s and I never had the privilege of a social circles whereas one of my cousins (now in his early 40s) has dated nearly exclusively from his social circle and rarely approached during the past 25 years.

 

[Dr.Suave]

You have to aporach, yes, if that what works for you. Believe it or not, some guys do better on OLD than IRL

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Online dating. It's an outdated acronym from when websites were the primary means of tech-assisted dating.



Yes, most men have bad experiences with dating through tech assisted means. This was true during the website era of the 2000s and has gotten even worse in the swipe app era. The swipe app era took every bad attribute of the website era and multiplied it.

The website era began because many men were struggling with bar approaching in the 1980s/early 1990s and didn't have sufficient social circles to find women. It's amazing that a larger percentage of single men have had worse experiences with dating on websites and swipe apps in the last 25 years as compared to the men who were struggling with bar approaching in the late 1970s-early 1990s.



Approaching is not easy. It's probably a better option than swipe apps but it stinks to do. Having a social circle capable of arranging dates is worth its weight in gold but that isn't feasible for a lot of men. If starting from essentially nothing, building a social circle that can lead to dates can take anywhere from 2-5 years, if ever. That's why men need to approach at a certain point. Social circles are great when they happen but won't happen for a certain percentage of men. I'm in my late 30s and I never had the privilege of a social circles whereas one of my cousins (now in his early 40s) has dated nearly exclusively from his social circle and rarely approached during the past 25 years.

I think social circle was epic once upon a time. Your circle would likely share common interests. Likely similar politic views and life values. It was the way people met once. I've been fortunate with circles but I've always enjoyed cold approach. And it's Hell work but reward favors the brave.

Off rip OLD is full of promiscuous low hanging fruit. Single mom's and skanks.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

You have to aporach, yes, if that what works for you. Believe it or not, some guys do better on OLD than IRL

I do far better on Hinge/IG myself. Many of my bar/club approaches go well, but even if the girl likes me and makes out etc, handling logistics and dealing with her friends is a cluster**** of a headache. You might say, well you should just grab her number and not try to **** right away. Yes, but a number is meaningless to me, as it should be to any guy. One number doesn't mean anything, you still need to setup the date, make sure she won't flake, etc - it's the same process no matter how you met them. If you can get way more numbers from OLD/social media, why even bother?

Getting numbers during an ordinary everyday settings is definitely doable, and you should absolutely capitalize on a cute bank teller or barista giving you IOIs. However in the context of "pickup" as an activity, I absolutely hate going out for the explicit purpose to pick up women. Just feels like an absolute waste of time.

 

[CollegeMan22]

Approaching is not easy. It's probably a better option than swipe apps but it stinks to do. Having a social circle capable of arranging dates is worth its weight in gold but that isn't feasible for a lot of men. If starting from essentially nothing, building a social circle that can lead to dates can take anywhere from 2-5 years, if ever. That's why men need to approach at a certain point. Social circles are great when they happen but won't happen for a certain percentage of men. I'm in my late 30s and I never had the privilege of a social circles whereas one of my cousins (now in his early 40s) has dated nearly exclusively from his social circle and rarely approached during the past 25 years.

What do you mean by arranging dates? Like asking a girl who is your friend to pair you up with another girl for a date? It doesn't make sense to mean how that would take 2-5 years to do if you are meeting lots of new people in your city/campus.

 

[SW15]

What do you mean by arranging dates? Like asking a girl who is your friend to pair you up with another girl for a date? It doesn't make sense to mean how that would take 2-5 years to do if you are meeting lots of new people in your city/campus.

When a social circle arranges dates for you, it is either a male friend/acquintance or a female friend/acquaintance offering to set you up with someone or set up some event in which you two will be introduced. Also, it could be you going to a friend/acquaintance and asking for a setup/introduction.

Getting these introductions from the social circle are not easy. There are 3 basic factors affecting this.

1. You have to have a lot of friends. Not many friends will be able to facilitate introductions
2. Next, the friends have to know you well. It's rare to receive introductions from people you don't know well.
3. These friends need to know single women who would be open to this introduction.

If you social circle is incapable of introductions right now, it would take 2-5 years in a lot of instances to get those introductions. You'd have to make many new friends and some of these friends would have to have deep social circles. Factor #2 also takes time. @CollegeMan22 - You're lucky you're under 30. Trying to develop a social circle at age 30+ with people close to your own age in a city where you didn't grow up is a very difficult endeavor. People in the situation described in the last sentence are usually either app swipers or in-person approachers.