You guys wanna hear a funny one regarding anal?

[edger]

My buddy today told me that a co-worker of his, told him that one time he had anal with a chick, and after taking his d*ck out, there was a "lima" bean on it. He had me crackin' when he told me this. Disgusting and funny at the same time. By the way, for those who don't know, I find anal repulsive.

 

[oakraiderz2]

Thats f*ckin SICK!

 

[Charm&Style]

barf...

 

[speakeasy]

I should have known by the title to not read this thread.

 

[horaholic]

I call bullshyt. Several people I know have told me that same story. I dont think that can happen. I have a better story.

Some guy I know banged this chick up the ass, and his pants were around his ankles, she and let a little poop loose, and it fell in his pants. He wa sso pissed he grabbed it, than slapped it back down on her back, then left.

We call her 'poobacca' now. True story.

 

[STR8UP]

Sounds fishy to me too.

A buddy of mine told me he was doing a fukk buddy up the ass, and I guess things got a little sloppy, and next thing you know there was a trail of ORANGE goo running down her leg. From what I understand she was a vegetarian. Carrots anyone?

And I'm definitely not repulsed by anal sex. It's like the whipped cream on top of the sundae.

Maybe that was a bad analogy.....

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Mrs. Tomassi has been a CT / RT specialist for her whole life, and as such I become privy to all the hospital horror stories she encounters and fills me in on. One was of a woman who came into the ER on a Memorial Day weekend (holiday weekends always being the most chaotic messes for any medical center). Mrs. Tomassi had to scan this woman who had - and this is no lie - a set of metal tongs inserted into her ass. These weren't the speculum variety you see in fetish porn, these were the type you use for food, like turning hot dogs or hamburgers on a grill. The woman had come into the ER because her BF(s?) couldn't remove them from her ass without tearing or causing injury to her rectum / colon. So she's literally walking around with a set of tongs up her butt and required surgery to have them removed.

True story.

 

[Aenigma]

Mrs. Tomassi has been a CT / RT specialist for her whole life, and as such I become privy to all the hospital horror stories she encounters and fills me in on. One was of a woman who came into the ER on a Memorial Day weekend (holiday weekends always being the most chaotic messes for any medical center). Mrs. Tomassi had to scan this woman who had - and this is no lie - a set of metal tongs inserted into her ass. These weren't the speculum variety you see in fetish porn, these were the type you use for food, like turning hot dogs or hamburgers on a grill. The woman had come into the ER because her BF(s?) couldn't remove them from her ass without tearing or causing injury to her rectum / colon. So she's literally walking around with a set of tongs up her butt and required surgery to have them removed.

True story.

Did you get the story for why they were their in the first place???

 

[horaholic]

Now here's a good buttsecks story:

http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/e...ies_buttsex_hilarity_does_not_ensue.phtml#278

Oh my God I peed a little reading that!!!:crackup:

 

[zennon]

I've heard this story before. It was slightly modified though. In the story I heard, the girl ate the lima bean.

 

[Cassanova_Child]

My buddy today told me that a co-worker of his, told him that one time he had anal with a chick, and after taking his d*ck out, there was a "lima" bean on it. He had me crackin' when he told me this. Disgusting and funny at the same time. By the way, for those who don't know, I find anal repulsive.

thats kinda nasty... i agree with anal being repulsive though.


i've got another.

my friend was at this other guys party, and the girl he was interested in was there. the day before they had 'talked' and she said that 'she really liked him, but she wasnt looking for a relationship right then' (what a load of BS).

so my friend brings his cousin to the party. things go well for the first 2 hours, and then he realizes that the girls dissapeared. eh thinks whatever and continues partying for another half hour or so.

i called him because i was at another party and his seemed to be calming down, so he went to the bedroom where he left his bag.... only to find his cousin doing the girl he liked in the ass.

 

[speakeasy]

Now here's a good buttsecks story:

http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/date/tucker_tries_buttsex_hilarity_does_not_ensue.phtml#278

How do we know he's telling the truth. Come on, a girl that lives 30 miles away is going to run out the door and not come back with nothing but a sheet wrapped around her?

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

There's really only two kinds of anal sex. There's the shower-fresh, rectal bleached, post hycolonic porn star anal where the guy with a 12 inch rod can go balls deep and she squeals in rapt ecstasy. And then there's the convince your GF for months, it wont hurt (much), don't eat chili 4 hours prior, vaseline is not astroglide, is it supposed to smell like this, "oh my gawd ony the tip is in?!!", anal sex that YOU are going to have.

Heheheh,..

 

[AAAgent]

haha ya i remember when i convinced my ex to have anal. she agreed and the first time i got like 1/4 in after like 2-3 minutes of trying and she said she couldn't handle it anymore. a month or two later tried it again and same thing. 4-5 months further down the line i got all the way in and went at it slowly for like 30 seconds. vaginal sex definately feels better but its just the thought of anal sex and knowing i was the first guy there, supposedly i was first guy to fvck her period but i doubt it. It might have been better if she enjoyed it and i could actually anal fvck her but maybe the next one.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Once a girl learns she likes it, she will ask for it all the time.

Astroglide gel + a small dildo + patience ---> your girl turns into an anal sex porn queen

 

[WaRpEd]

Now here's a good buttsecks story:

http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/e...ies_buttsex_hilarity_does_not_ensue.phtml#278

:crackup: That is hillarious! :crackup:

 

[Bass-Turd]

thats kinda nasty... i agree with anal being repulsive though.


i've got another.

my friend was at this other guys party, and the girl he was interested in was there. the day before they had 'talked' and she said that 'she really liked him, but she wasnt looking for a relationship right then' (what a load of BS).

so my friend brings his cousin to the party. things go well for the first 2 hours, and then he realizes that the girls dissapeared. eh thinks whatever and continues partying for another half hour or so.

i called him because i was at another party and his seemed to be calming down, so he went to the bedroom where he left his bag.... only to find his cousin doing the girl he liked in the ass.

wait so his cousin's another chick?