you guys get awkward silences on first few dates with a girl?

garruk

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do you guys get awkward silences when your on the first few dates with a girl?

what do you do to get past it?

i understand that its only awkward if you make it awkward and most of the time i dont acutally feel awkward but sometimes i can tell that she is.


its rare that you have dates of just uninterrupted conversation.
 

blueline

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if it's non-verbally on, it doesn't matter. on some of my dates, all i need to do is say "yeah, uhuh, right, cool, oh really?" and the girl will do most of the conversation for me. unfortunately, i cannot get dates for the ****ing life of me anymore.
 

RexTimoris

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Just have a couple of questions prepared that you can ask the moment you feel an uncomfortable silence coming. Questions that screen her on traits that are important to you are good candidates, as it can increase qualification. Also, questions that she can ask back and where you have a good answer/story to tell are great.
Whatever you do, don't fill up silences with uninteresting comments on the environment or whatever, where it's clear that you're just trying to fill up the silence because it makes you uncomfortable. Unless they directly involve the activity that you're doing (e.g. you're playing pool and are making fun of her skills or whatever). I guess this leads to a more general rule: arrange an active date where you'll always have a topic of conversation regarding the activity.
 

blueline

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Just inject sexuality into things when you get "awkward" silence. it's only awkward when you let it be.
 

Galactus

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Those are good answers. Me, I like to keep the conversation rolling with responses to what she's saying, that express a feeling. Everyone can relate to how something felt.

Another thing is to find subjects in what she's saying. She may say, for example: "I love to waterski. It's a great way to spend a Saturday, to just unwind with some friends, have some laughs, and enjoy the sun."

Right there you can talk about times you went waterskiing, or never did but would like to try, or talk about unwinding with friends, or enjoying the weekends, or getting some sun, or a sunny place you used to live, or whatever. And when you respond, use some of her own language. Talk about "having a few laughs" or "unwinding". It builds rapport.

I usually make a good attempt to keep the conversation going, but if she just isn't biting, then I clam up and let her figure it out, because I just lost interest. I'm not bending over backward for her. Some of these hot chicks think it's your job to entertain her. But if she's just so fvcking boring that she can't hold up her end of a conversation, then I'm just going to start pushing for the sex. I don't have that kind of patience. There are fun women who look just as good. She's just used to guys thinking there aren't.

Don't make it your job to keep trying to resurrect a dead conversation.
 

joe henny

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I usually go for the kiss then, what you have to do is work on your convo skills. Like ask where she went to school boom three more questions. How did you like it? when did you graduate? what was your most memorable experience? take her answers and paraphrase em in your own words then spit them back at her. pow. Flow, just like you talk with your buddies.
 

sux2bu

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I've had dates with several girls that just wouldn't shut up, and others where I had to do all the talking. There is no right or wrong I believe. I usually let my d|ck do all the taking later so.. it doesn't mater.
 

realtalk

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You should try to never leave a silence before solid attraction is built, saying something/anything is better than nothing, no matter how lame it is.

If there is a silence, you look dead in her eye and smile. I've been trying this and 9 out of 10 times the girl will feel the need to make conversation (since you are not awkwardly looking away, you are confidently being silent)
 

The Experience

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realtalk said:
You should try to never leave a silence before solid attraction is built, saying something/anything is better than nothing, no matter how lame it is.

If there is a silence, you look dead in her eye and smile. I've been trying this and 9 out of 10 times the girl will feel the need to make conversation (since you are not awkwardly looking away, you are confidently being silent)
I agree, the silence doesn't have to be awkward. Why not make it a funny silence and just smile and laugh?
 

Razor Sharp

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Silence is a vacuum which you fill with your own emotions/energy. If you feel awkward, then it will be awkward. If you feel sexy it will be a sexy. It's that simple.

You should not be asking how to avoid silence, you SHOULD be asking how you can feel comfortable with it, yourself and whoever you are with. Anything else and you are just putting a tiny band-aid on a gaping wound in your inner game.

Sometimes it's nice to just be with a lady and not have to say anything. IMHO, women talk entirely too much anyway - as Depeche Mode would say "Enjoy the Silence", cause pretty soon she's gonna break it with a deluge of information (90% of which you probably are not even interested in)

If you haven't tried it already I wholeheartedly recommend meditation. Silence your mind, govern your emotions - find real peace within, THEN you can share that with someone.

Also it's worth mentioning that your surroundings can play a big role here. It's easier to observe and be quiet when there is something worth looking at (people-watching, landscapes, art, etc)

I just got home from a Day 2 with a girl I picked up on the street. I took her to the beach and we watched the crowds and the scenery. Here is how I went from interested stranger to tongue down her throat, using SILENCE of all things.

HER: What a beautiful day
ME: Sure is..
HER: ...
ME: ...
HER: ... (glances at me and turns away quickly)
ME: ... (slight grin)
HER: ...
ME: ...

*a few moments pass until she realizes I am looking right at her*

HER: What is it?
ME: (looks dead in her eyes) I can think of something more beautiful
HER: ~swoon~

*TONSIL HOCKEY TIME*

It's only as complicated as you think.
 
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