You guys ever get back in touch with your "no contacts"?

[handle]

Got dumped by a girl like, 6 years ago, and then the other night ended up out with her and some friends. She was all over me as if it was back in the day. It's been so long that I don't even think about her, it was kind of a weird "full circle" moment. You guys ever had something like this happen?

 

[HalfAddict]

Funny you should mention this, an ex of mine (who broke up with me via text) called me tonight to "come over and hang out"
I told her to call me about that some other time lol

 

[perseverance]

My ex of three years ago got back in contact with me about two months ago. We had a five-ten minute phone conversation before I left it at that and went about my life as per usual. I haven't spoken to her since and have no interest in doing so in the future. Why rake over old ground? It's dead and buried as far as I am concerned.

 

[Chamber36]

I advise you to ignore this girl.

Once you show her any extra attention she'll think she owns you.

 

[gaspipe]

I was dating a girl 6 years ago (HB 7.5). I broke it off after 6 months because she was getting too serious. I tried to get back with her about 6 months later but she was seeing someone else whom she ended up marrying. Fast forward about 3 years later. She spots me walking on the street one day after not seeing or talking to her for several years and later looks up my number and calls me to get together and chat. Needless to say, she was all over me saying how good I looked, how she missed me, etc. We talk and she tells me that the guy she married ended up being an abusive jerk, bla bla bla. I was pretty much in a sexual state and wasnt paying much attention to her and just wanted to bang her which I did the next time I saw her. We start going out again, but realize that her needy qualities that caused me to break it off in the first place were still there. I banged her a couple of times more and just broke it off again.

Lesson to be learned: Once you break up with a chick its usually for a good reason and taking a second crack at it usually doesnt work. In these cases, I try to make them a FB and nothing else.

 

[handle]

Yeah, good advice guys. Thing is I only go back to my hometown maybe 3 times per 2 years, so it's not like I'll see her or even contact her for a very, very long time (I happen to have gone out with a group that included her -- not often the case when I'm home). And I'm also in a satisfying relationship right now. But it was kinda funny to see how things change.

 

[Zodiac]

Out of my exes I've only seen two that after we went our seperate ways were even civil to me. Out of those two only one of them was what I would consider F buddy material and I even went after on Saturdays to hang out with after meeting at a bar.

After some time however she tried to weasel her way into my life again and then I remembered why we parted ways so I stopped seeing her altogether.

 

[pinhas]

Both my serious Ex's got back in touch with me; one was very aggressive about it and it was clear she wants me back, but I had zero intention for that and did not even meet with her.

Second girl, I did meet with and had a few "sex with the ex" encounters, but it became clear that she may want to get back together; I did not want a relationship at that point and was having a great time. She realized that and moved on. She now moved in with some dude, and I think we both have a sort of feeling that to each other we would always be "the one who got away".

No point to cry over spilled milk though; I learned a great deal from that break up and would have never been the man I am now without going through it.

As a rule of thumb, never go back; always move forward. Random hook up with ex's are fine as long as its all it is; hookups. As soon as you see the girl is getting attached, or you feel old feeling rising; BAIL!!!!

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Everytime I get back in touch with a NC girl they're just drunk and want to fvck. I usually don't take them seriously though.

 

[Scars]

Yes, and it never ended well. Just ended up hating each other more. The past should stay in the past.

-Scars

 

[Packers2010]

yeah. i did contact mine. tho it only was because i am leaving the country for good. plsu way back when i said i would say good bye.

we had a skype convo for like 20 mins that was about it.

don't talk to her now. even if i do. it wont be for long.

 

[floydb25]

Can't say I have. Every girl I dated called me a jerk pretty early on, and that opinion never changed. Fat chance of them coming in contact again.

 

[perseverance]

Can't say I have. Every girl I dated called me a jerk pretty early on, and that opinion never changed. Fat chance of them coming in contact again.

Why did you give them two in the stink and one in the pink or something?

 

[Scars]

Note: Guys can "hoover" just as well as women can. When it boils down to it, it's only temporary, and it's only to fulfill their selfish need for validation. My BPD ex has tried to hoover me 3 times sense we've broken up, so I pretty much get an update whenever her current bf isn't doing it for her, or when she is in massive sprouts of depression. I never give in.

If you are trying to "hoover" an ex/old interest then you're probably not over her. Let's face it. If you could truly live your life without this person in it, then why do you feel such a strong need to talk to them? You still care.

In other cases, a guy feels he is over her but wants to "get back" at her so to speak. Nope. Why would you want to seek out revenge? Because you still care. You may try to rationalize to yourself that you just want to put her through the same type of pain that you went through.. well guess what, you wouldn't feel this way if you were truly detached.

I stand by my original statement. Getting in contact with these girls is bad news. It isn't going to turn out how you want it to. You can rationalize to yourself until your blue in the face that you just "want to be friends". Nah man. You can't live your life without her. You need to correct that sh!t and get your head straight.

-Scars

 

[floydb25]

Why did you give them two in the stink and one in the pink or something?

Ha ha... Nah, I had no self-control. Was angry and bitter about life, and blamed women for everything. Had a pretty deep hatred for them, and it showed. Held nothing back. Just ended up with a lot of chaotic relationships, and resentment towards me. They hated me pretty bad for it.

 

[Scars]

Ha ha... Nah, I had no self-control. Was angry and bitter about life, and blamed women for everything. Had a pretty deep hatred for them, and it showed. Held nothing back. Just ended up with a lot of chaotic relationships, and resentment towards me. They hated me pretty bad for it.

I know this is slightly off topic, but what's your relationship with your mother like? Just wondering.

-Scars

 

[perseverance]

Ha ha... Nah, I had no self-control. Was angry and bitter about life, and blamed women for everything. Had a pretty deep hatred for them, and it showed. Held nothing back. Just ended up with a lot of chaotic relationships, and resentment towards me. They hated me pretty bad for it.

It all sounds so eventful, I think we all feel like that at times in our lives, but the important thing is not to base your entire existence on being successful with women. If I am feeling angry, bitter or frustrated then I step back away from the game and take a break from it.

At least you're good now though. Can I just ask what you did to move from the rut that you were in? What changes did you make and what changed your attitude and perspective?

 

[Yuma]

I'm going to tomorrow. Ex's birthday; told her a while ago I'd be in touch about something. We're not on good terms, at all. We don't even speak regularly.

BUT - this is just an experiment on my behalf. Been studying a lot about NLP and transferring it to text patterns. So, I jotted down a quick email with some embedded commands and anchoring. We'll see what happens. Nothing to lose!

 

[floydb25]

I know this is slightly off topic, but what's your relationship with your mother like? Just wondering.

-Scars

It was pretty good - up until a major tragedy happened in our family. That's really when everything went downhill. She wasn't mean or uncaring, or anything like that. She was a very good mom, and still is. I just became a jerk to everybody for a long time. But mostly, I blamed women for everything. Not sure why. Maybe because they affect different emotions than men.

 

[bigneil]

I've recycled some of the women who I loved the most, and looking back (1988 versus 1993, and 1993 versus 1997) - it was never the same, but you can still have good sex and exorcise any demons you have over her hurting you. You can even get them to worship you, but you'll never feel like you did when you thought she might be your true love.