You are having problems, gf doesn't listen

[NeedToImprove]

I know girls are the ones who like to talk about their problems and they dont like that much when a guy does the same at least i have that impression.

but i think talking about some problems you are having with your gf isn't that much of a crime is it?

im having problems @ home, family problems. my father lost money in the stock market and he is always in a bad mood, so talking to him is almost impossible. brother comes from work stays in computer watching videos in youtube, doesnt talk to anyone. sometimes has dinner sometimes has dinner sometimes he doesnt and goes to bed early as hell. same with sister, so no communication @ home. not really a pleasant place to live atm.

i live in portugal, things are getting difficult around here, but economy cant be to blame for all the bad things that happen.


when i try to talk about this with my gf, because im in need of some support, mostly on the phone i notice she flees from the subject/problem like the devil from the cross. she will say hmm ok, right, exactly. listen i have something to do can we talk about this another time or i gotta go to bed i have to wake up early. sometimes she even disconnects the cell phone so text messages will be pending delivery.

but when she's having problems and im listening to them and i give her support she tells me she adores me.

i dont think this is fair. i feel like i'm alone and getting really depressed. i cant cry even though i really need to. my friends all date, some are married, wednesday i smoked a joint with one of my friends and vented my problems to him, it kinda helped but not much.

i really hope 2012 will be better than the last weeks of 2011 but by the looks of it i doubt it.

 

[3countriesPlan]

Guys really shouldn't make a habit of complaining about crap to their gf. We are supposed to be their rock and be a source of strength for them rather than the other way around. However, good women are also willing to listen to their bfs when he has concerns and other things he would like to voice. So if your gf doesn't she is just a selfish person.. you have problems and she disconnects her cell phone.. classic.. wow

 

[Alex DeLarge]

I was in the same boat with a girl I was seeing a few years ago, she wound up leaving me. I go through pretty much the same stuff. No communication at home. My mother drinks a lot, and my parents got divorced when I was pretty young. I have a horrible relationship with my father too.

I guess women might view this as damaged goods? I got to know the girl better, and wasn't really complaining to her, I was just explaining where I was come from to her. She had a really great supportive family and I didn't really. I mean my mother does what she can for me, but it's not a lot. I've had a lot of great female friends who were very receptive to this though (and they're not just girls that threw me in the "friendzone") a few of them even let me stay at their places when times were tough for me at home.

 

[f283000]

Guys really shouldn't make a habit of complaining about crap to their gf. We are supposed to be their rock and be a source of strength for them rather than the other way around. However, good women are also willing to listen to their bfs when he has concerns and other things he would like to voice. So if your gf doesn't she is just a selfish person.. you have problems and she disconnects her cell phone.. classic.. wow

Very true. I think NeedToImprove needs to find a balance.

A good woman will stand by her man, listen to her man, comfort her man. That's a woman that has a good heart and is long term relationship and wife relationship material.

HOWEVER, a woman wants her man to be strong, to be her "rock" like you said. If you keep complaining and showing her weakness she will lose attraction and leave you. Women already have enough bs and "women stuff" going on in their mind they are not strong enough to handle their issues as well as yours.

Women are looking for protection not to be comforting a man that is weaker than them. Sure they will provide comfort but they won't do it to the point they feel like they're the strong one in the relationship (the man) and not you.

 

[NeedToImprove]

i think that the idea of a man not talking to a woman about his problems is ridiculous and old (of course there are limits).if i offer support for a woman i care for she should the same for me.

 

[tomato]

its not about what she should do - of course what you are saying is fair.

BUT women are selfish and dont care about what is fair they EASILY will rationalise it to make it seem like it is. If you want to talk about problems talk to a psychiatrist or write a thread on here or on some more supportive forum (there are plenty for your kind of problems).

Your gf is not your psyc - when you talk to her its about how much fun your having and how much fun she could have with you.

If you dont like this -tuff - she'll leave you if you dont follw the advice above - take your pick.