you are financially broke and want to meet girls

[broken dreams]

hey I recently had some Day 2 date but Im soo ****ing broke.
they end up no going home with me cause they want to drink more or get LMR.
I m soo ****in broke and my loans havent come back.

any guys here have a game plan for Day 2 dates.

Its drying me up dudes.

suggestions.

 

[STR8UP]

"Dating" women is the fastest way to separate you from your hard earned cash. It's a boon for single ladies because they can get wined and dined by three different guys every week and not feel a damn bit guilty after the first date when they say "Too bad, he's just not for me".

I prefer to hook up inside my social circle. That way I get the benefit of face time with a chick, without the expectations of a one on one date. In other words, we all go out as a group, she pays for her cover charge and drinks, but I still get to take her home later. I might buy her a drink just like I would eny of my friends, but in a non-date context it is often reciprocated.

Trust me....you aren't gaining any brownie points when you spend your money on chicks. Find ways to get face time without setting yourself up as a piggy bank.

 

[Metro3pilot]

I hate to sound bitter, but !

"Dating" women is the fastest way to separate you from your hard earned cash. It's a boon for single ladies because they can get wined and dined by three different guys every week and not feel a damn bit guilty after the first date when they say "Too bad, he's just not for me".

that sounds about right to me ...

not sure what to say to the poster, except maybe you would be better off saving your money and getting a hooker once in a while.

 

[broken dreams]

yeah D2 lately are a ***** but, i try to find free stuff to do and try to bounce her to my house for wine n music n fvck.

I hate dating frame, my good friend is going thru hard time financially and his GF left him.

Im seeing this repeatedly women are doing this.

 

[kingwilliam]

Why are you so broke? You're 30.

 

[azanon]

Why are you so broke? You're 30.

Exactly. Its hard for me to offer suggestions for such a small problem, when he has a much larger one.

They came up with the saying "putting the cart before the horse" specifically for folks like our OP here.

 

[Mr.Positive]

Exactly. Its hard for me to offer suggestions for such a small problem, when he has a much larger one.

They came up with the saying "putting the cart before the horse" specifically for folks like our OP here.

Two completely separate, unrelated, issues. Yes, the OP needs to work on getting his financial issues in order, but not for women...for himself.

Too many guys have this mentality.

IF I get more money...THEN I'll have more to offer women. IF I lose 10 pounds...then, women will like me. If...If...If...the list goes on, input anything you want.

We're all here to become better men, to improve on something or another.

The thing to do, is shed that mentality that we need to better ourselves for women.

To the OP, your problem is your "dates" aren't something you normally do.

If you are broke, you probably don't eat out much. Don't take dates to expensive restuarants!

Bring your dates into YOUR world.

What do you do for fun now, as a broke guy? Hiking? gym? coffee shops?

Try this next time...for a first date, meet for a couple of drinks or coffee. Then, for a second date (if she is worth YOUR time), invite her to join you on something fun you were going to do anyway. IE, you were going to do this anyway...you bring her with you. Action dates...hiking, rock climbing, kayaking, the beach...

 

[#41]

Two completely separate, unrelated, issues. Yes, the OP needs to work on getting his financial issues in order, but not for women...for himself.

Too many guys have this mentality.

The reason why is because there's a good bit of truth to it.

Money is the main indicator of social worth in our society. It usually indicates many qualities (we'll leave "trust fund babies" out of this discussion for now) -- focus, drive, determination, confidence, and tenacity -- required to become wealthy. Many of those qualities are also attractive to women.

Further, lack of money is also caused by a lack of those same qualities. It also brings with it other things -- poor self image, self consciousness, etc. -- that are highly negative qualities for dealing with women.

Are there exceptions to this rule? Sure -- like anything else, you can always meet the right woman that will overlook some fatal flaw -- but the overall rule still stands: at least some money is a prerequisite for most women to find a man suitable as a mate.

My advice to you? Stop worrying about women, start worrying more about bettering your financial situation. Take a second job if you need to. If you're broke because of debt, contact a financial planner or a debt counselor to work out how to pay down your debt and return to solvency. If the debt is student loan, look into programs that offer loan forgiveness for certain types of occupations.

Get healthy in the wallet. It's every bit as important as going to the gym or any of the other advice on here.

 

[edger]

Two completely separate, unrelated, issues. Yes, the OP needs to work on getting his financial issues in order, but not for women...for himself.

Too many guys have this mentality.

IF I get more money...THEN I'll have more to offer women. IF I lose 10 pounds...then, women will like me. If...If...If...the list goes on, input anything you want.

We're all here to become better men, to improve on something or another.

The thing to do, is shed that mentality that we need to better ourselves for women.

To the OP, your problem is your "dates" aren't something you normally do.

If you are broke, you probably don't eat out much. Don't take dates to expensive restuarants!

Bring your dates into YOUR world.

What do you do for fun now, as a broke guy? Hiking? gym? coffee shops?

Try this next time...for a first date, meet for a couple of drinks or coffee. Then, for a second date (if she is worth YOUR time), invite her to join you on something fun you were going to do anyway. IE, you were going to do this anyway...you bring her with you. Action dates...hiking, rock climbing, kayaking, the beach...

Good post Mr. Positive, like usual.

 

[azanon]

Two completely separate, unrelated, issues. Yes, the OP needs to work on getting his financial issues in order, but not for women...for himself.

Too many guys have this mentality.

IF I get more money...THEN I'll have more to offer women. IF I lose 10 pounds...then, women will like me. If...If...If...the list goes on, input anything you want.

We're all here to become better men, to improve on something or another.

The thing to do, is shed that mentality that we need to better ourselves for women.

It is a mistake to be worrying even a little bit about women if you're "30 and broke". If puzzy just happens to come right up to you, and say please have me then sure, take the 10-15 minutes to do the deed. But otherwise, a minute spent worry about women while 30 and broke, is exactly one minute too long.

Are you getting the drift that I believe being 30 and broke is a serious problem needing special and undivided attention?

Mr. Positive, google "Maslow's hierarchy of needs", if you're not familiar with it already.

 

[Mr.Positive]

Money is the main indicator of social worth in our society. It usually indicates many qualities (we'll leave "trust fund babies" out of this discussion for now) -- focus, drive, determination, confidence, and tenacity -- required to become wealthy. Many of those qualities are also attractive to women.

Further, lack of money is also caused by a lack of those same qualities. It also brings with it other things -- poor self image, self consciousness, etc. -- that are highly negative qualities for dealing with women.

Get healthy in the wallet. It's every bit as important as going to the gym or any of the other advice on here.

Good points #41..the OP should "get healthy" in the wallet, it will improve his lifestyle, and make it more comfortable.

However, money does not equal self-worth...not by any means. Even if "society" says so. You can have focus, drive, determination, contribute to society..and still be on the lower end of the economic scale. Ask any peace corp volunteer who's sacrificed years of work to better the world if they thought it was worth it..

To be truly confident and happy, to have lived a good life...society MUST not decide your value as a person. You define that yourself. That's how you will move confidently through life, and the world we live in.

Azanon, I'm quite aware of the hierarchy of needs. If the OP was starving homeless on the street, that would be one thing. But hopefully he's not. Hopefully, he's living with in his means..and just has a massive debt to pay off.

He's not going to pay this off overnight, or maybe even in a few years...it doesn't mean he should not be out there living life to the fullest. Experiencing all aspects of it, work, goals, and women!

The best thing the OP can do (in my opinion), is downsize his monthly expenses, consolidate his debt, and then work hard to pay if off. Live within his means. Get debt free.

And...in the meantime, try to enjoy his life to fullest now..live in the present. Happiness is not right around the corner, it's right now. In the present time.

He doesn't need to tell women his financial situation, nor does he need to spend a lot of money to impress women.

 

[Colossus]

Mr. Positive had good advice.

To the OP--

Dating does cost money, no matter what you do. Especially if you're spinning multiple plates; this is not a poor man's game. I would encourage you to take Mr. Positive's advice and do things that are relatively inexpensive, like outdoor stuff and the like.

The real bankbuster is--as you know--dinner and drinks.

Drinks have KILLED my wallet in the past. You go out for "a drink", which of course turns into 2, then 3, then 6. It's always fun, but it sucks having to tell the girl a few days later you cant go out because you're broke.

If a woman is truly interested in you she will have no qualms about spending money on you, however. I've had girls insist I go with them somewhere or spend time with them despite my brokeness. It's kind of an ego-blow, but you know they're interested when they're funding all your adventures. Just don't abuse it.

 

[edger]

Money is the main indicator of social worth in our society. It usually indicates many qualities (we'll leave "trust fund babies" out of this discussion for now) -- focus, drive, determination, confidence, and tenacity -- required to become wealthy.

I hate to keep repeating the same things over and over here, but I feel compelled to, because it doesn't seem to register with some of you guys. I want to say, there are people out there that have all those qualities you mention, but still get nowhere. This is the point I was trying to make a few days ago. REGARDLESS of how "hard" you try; how much determination, focus, drive, tenacity, and confidence you have, you will always have those who STILL fail, regardless, in the system. You guys have to remember something..there's only a limited amount of decent paying jobs out there for everyone to succeed in the system, so there's always going to be those who are going to be left out..you're always gonna have "winners" and "losers", regardless of how "hard" someone has tried. It's inevitable. You just have to hope you get picked. Very competitive, very cut-throat.

 

[Warrior74]

I hate to keep repeating the same things over and over here, but I feel compelled to, because it doesn't seem to register with some of you guys. I want to say, there are people out there that have all those qualities you mention, but still get nowhere. This is the point I was trying to make a few days ago. REGARDLESS of how "hard" you try; how much determination, focus, drive, tenacity, and confidence you have, you will always have those who STILL fail, regardless, in the system. You guys have to remember something..there's only a limited amount of decent paying jobs out there for everyone to succeed in the system, so there's always going to be those who are going to be left out..you're always gonna have "winners" and "losers", regardless of how "hard" someone has tried. It's inevitable. You just have to hope you get picked. Very competitive, very cut-throat.

Nah man, they are just gonna tell you that you are making excuses. I've run 2 businesses and have had 3 professional gigs, on my third business now. It's not easy.

btw Not everyone has money at 30. I don't know what country you live in but here in normalville america under this current economy I know tons of 30 year olds who are barely doing better than freshly graduated college students. Also you have to remember everyone is not after great big gobs of money. Some do the things they like because they want to do them. Money is a part of life, not the meaning of it.

 

[edger]

Nah man, they are just gonna tell you that you are making excuses.

Wow, you really don't process information that well. It's like beating a dead horse. LOL. I'm actually humored by it. How can it not make sense that there's only a limited amount of decent paying jobs out there in order for one to be able to "make it" in the system, therefore not everyone is going to "make it", there will be those who will be left out, no matter hard they try to succeed in this system?

Either you're really intellectually challenged, or you're the one making the excuses.

 

[Warrior74]

Wow, you really don't process information that well. It's like beating a dead horse. LOL. I'm actually humored by it. How can it not make sense that there's only a limited amount of decent paying jobs out there in order for one to be able to "make it" in the system, therefore not everyone is going to "make it", there will be those who will be left out, no matter hard they try to succeed in this system?

Either you're really intellectually challenged, or you're the one making the excuses.

Wow YOU really don't process information very well at all. I agree its not easy and their are only so many jobs. They ("they" being the ones on this site you are preaching to) will say YOU are the one making excuses by claiming there are limited opportunities. Next time read my post before you go all knee jerk reaction and name calling on people siding with you. Jackass.

 

[edger]

Wow YOU really don't process information very well at all. I agree its not easy and their are only so many jobs. They ("they" being the ones on this site you are preaching to) will say YOU are the one making excuses by claiming there are limited opportunities. Next time read my post before you go all knee jerk reaction and name calling on people siding with you. Jackass.

Sorry Warrior, my apologies, it was the way I interpreted your statement. I thought you were saying those people make excuses. Lol, damn, there's always more than one way to interpret our posts on an internet message board, it gets confusing. That's why I've never been a fan of communicating through the internet, and prefer real life conversations instead.

 

[broken dreams]

Dear Guys
I am very happy that you placed input here.
My original concern is what really made me rethink my priorites are.
I got too emotionally distracted to what my real problem is.
I cant meet up with some chicks cause I aint got **** at home to bring back.
but most important that I am responsible to create my lifestlye.
there is nothing more attractive than a confident person that has a drive and love with their goal in life.

I am changing.I plan to make changes for myself to live comfortable and not for some woman.
... They will come.

Mr Positive's posts are AWESOME.

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

Broken Dreams -

I don't know exactly what you are going through in your life, but, please do me a favor - change your user name.

I've read a few of your posts, and I can tell that you're going through some hard times. We all go through it bro, but don't make it a label that is attached to you. I'm a strong believer that the label you place upon yourself determines your mentality. You may be over weight, you may be in financial difficulties, you may have lost the love of your life and now be living a life of 'broken dreams' - but bro...its like subliminal negative self talk.

"saying that food ALWAYS goes to your thighs, is going to guarantee that you have fat thighs for the rest of your life" - Larry Winget, Author, Shut Up...Stop Whining...And Get A Life.

I think a better screen name would be "Living My Dreams". Label yourself a winner. A person with vision. Live life through your imagination, not your history.

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

accidental repost