You approach 10 random women in a bar/club ... What's the breakdown of typical responses?

[JonnyX]

When I was doing cold approach in bars/clubs, I always aimed for approaching 10 sets of 2 girls before the night was done. At least then I felt like I was trying and not wasting the night.

I would generally aim to only approach slim girls, but sometimes i'd approach anything just for "social proof" or because it didn't matter either way.

Typical breakdown of those typical 10 from memory:

- 5-6 sets - Complete disinterest - either one word answers, turning away physically after one word, saying "I have a boyfriend" within 1 minute of engagement, or being outride rude in more aggressive ways.

- 2-3 sets - Basically polite but no interest really, just nicer girls who don't like being rude.

- 1 set - If lucky, might have one set where the girl hooks and asks you some questions about you or seems at least marginally into you. This may or may not go anywhere but it's usually fun.

These abysmal results are mainly why I stopped clubbing. 1 hour getting ready, plus taxi, plus cover, plus 2-3 hours in a noisy club, plus alcohol, plus taxi back home, and disrupted sleep for this? Hardly worth it. It's like a 7 hour commitment to get systemically rejected. If I went to work instead I could make enough for the highest grade hooker in that same time, though that's not gratifying for other reasons.

What's your typical outcome from hitting on 10 sets in a night? What makes it worth it for you?

Before you start telling me I "need to work on my mindset", keep in mind I'm a 5'7" scrawny Indian guy with a 4/10 face. If you're a 6' white guy with a 5/10 face, we're living in different worlds.

 

[JonnyX]

Anyone out there doing cold approach? If not, what are you doing?

I am skeptical anyone can do better without being some combo of tall/white/handsome. I've gone out with a lot of wingmen, and I've never seen anything to suggest otherwise.

Even Krauser PUA who does this professionally, while going to impoverished nations to maximize his value, says he gets around a 1% lay rate from cold approach.

Thoughts? Experiences?

 

[bigdave17]

on thursday -

1 approached me and was clearly very interested in me
approached another middle eastern cutie and she would have dated me if she lived in the states (she actually lives in Pakistan). We had great chemistry

I'm good looking/super well dressed/in great shape but I'm ethnic (5'10 195, look sorta like a football player. Look Puerto Rican or Spanish in the face)



I have a fantastic success rate with 4-6s or even 7-8s who are in their 30s. My success rate with 7-8s in their 20s is not very good (I don't approach often but when I have, my success rate has been terrible)

 

[JonnyX]

on thursday -

1 approached me and was clearly very interested in me
approached another middle eastern cutie and she would have dated me if she lived in the states (she actually lives in Pakistan). We had great chemistry

I'm good looking/super well dressed/in great shape but I'm ethnic (5'10 195, look sorta like a football player. Look Puerto Rican or Spanish in the face)

I have a fantastic success rate with 4-6s or even 7-8s who are in their 30s. My success rate with 7-8s in their 20s is not very good (I don't approach often but when I have, my success rate has been terrible)

Ahhh. Now I understand your other threads.

Just so you know, women in 2018 are subtracting around 3 points if you're not white.

People have done Tinder experiments to prove it.

This guy for example who's probably at least a 7/10 latino and pretty ripped:

Gets FEWER matches on Tinder than this guy who is mildly balding and incredibly skinnyfat:

If you claim to be an 8/10 latino/Spanish looking guy, then you're probably only going to be able to get 5/10 girls on average these days. Female racism against nonwhites is steadily rising every year.

eg.

Just consider yourself lucky you got to be tall enough and good looking enough to get SOMETHING. Imagine being 3 inches shorter and ugly. Trust me it only gets worse, as I'm sure you can imagine.

I'd kill for your results. But I can also understand why you find them frustrating. Probably if you were a white guy you'd be getting the results you want and think you ought to be getting. Don't underestimate how much women care about this. White race is the strongest predictor of a good female response. Women in 2018 are more racist than stormfront.org

 

[bigdave17]

Ahhh. Now I understand your other threads.

Just so you know, women in 2018 are subtracting around 3 points if you're not white.

People have done Tinder experiments to prove it.

This guy for example who's probably at least a 7/10 latino and pretty ripped:

Gets FEWER matches on Tinder than this guy who is mildly balding and incredibly skinnyfat:

If you claim to be an 8/10 latino/Spanish looking guy, then you're probably only going to be able to get 5/10 girls on average these days. Female racism against nonwhites is steadily rising every year.

eg.

Just consider yourself lucky you got to be tall enough and good looking enough to get SOMETHING. Imagine being 3 inches shorter and ugly. Trust me it only gets worse, as I'm sure you can imagine.

I'd kill for your results. But I can also understand why you find them frustrating. Probably if you were a white guy you'd be getting the results you want and think you ought to be getting. Don't underestimate how much women care about this. White race is the strongest predictor of a good female response. Women in 2018 are more racist than stormfront.org

I only like ethnic girls myself dude.

Spanish/Italian/Greek/Middle eastern girls are not going to be racist against me

 

[JonnyX]

I only like ethnic girls myself dude.

Spanish/Italian/Greek/Middle eastern girls are not going to be racist against me

Hahahahaha. You're so naive.

ALL women in dating studies prefer white guys by a giant margin. The only exception is black women who prefer black men.

You're losing 2-3 points minimum because of your race and that's a big part of why you're "underperforming" compared to otherwise equally attractive white guys.

 

[bigdave17]

Hahahahaha. You're so naive.

ALL women in dating studies prefer white guys by a giant margin. The only exception is black women who prefer black men.

You're losing 2-3 points minimum because of your race and that's a big part of why you're "underperforming" compared to otherwise equally attractive white guys.

you're drunk. The vast majority of hot Spanish and Arab women I see are dating hot Spanish and Arab men

Indian you might have a point but Spanish/Middle eastern guys mostly still look very European

I have tons of white women who show interest in me but I'm not interested in them. I'm interested in someone who looks like that ^^^^

 

[JonnyX]

you're drunk. The vast majority of hot Spanish and Arab women I see are dating hot Spanish and Arab men

Indian you might have a point but Spanish/Middle eastern guys mostly still look very European

I have tons of white women who show interest in me but I'm not interested in them. I'm interested in someone who looks like that ^^^^

That guy looks like he's roided up to a 9+/10. If you're that good looking, then you should be coasting on easy mode irrespective of your race. Maybe your standards are just too high and too specific. I don't know. I don't turn down hot women on a daily basis. I've never had that freedom and likely never will.

But what I can tell you is all men who aren't white (or don't look white enough) absolutely all pay a penalty with women for not being white:

“While Asian women are more likely to give Asian men higher ratings, women of other races—black, Latina, white—give Asian men a rating between 1 and 2 stars less than what they usually rate men,” wrote Linshi. “Black and Latin men faced ‘similar discrimination,’ while white men had ratings “most high among women of all races.”

https://www.inverse.com/article/36379-tinder-black-women-asian-men-racism

That's 1-2 stars less on a 5 star scale.

The great (and horrifying) thing about online dating is it's allowed very objective studies on women's tendencies, and it turns out they're more racist than stormfront.org. Lots of guys on Stormfront actually have Asian girlfriends.

 

[Fzatf]

That guy looks like he's roided up to a 9+/10. If you're that good looking, then you should be coasting on easy mode irrespective of your race. Maybe your standards are just too high and too specific. I don't know. I don't turn down hot women on a daily basis. I've never had that freedom and likely never will.

But what I can tell you is all men who aren't white (or don't look white enough) absolutely all pay a penalty with women for not being white:

“While Asian women are more likely to give Asian men higher ratings, women of other races—black, Latina, white—give Asian men a rating between 1 and 2 stars less than what they usually rate men,” wrote Linshi. “Black and Latin men faced ‘similar discrimination,’ while white men had ratings “most high among women of all races.”

https://www.inverse.com/article/36379-tinder-black-women-asian-men-racism

That's 1-2 stars less on a 5 star scale.

The great (and horrifying) thing about online dating is it's allowed very objective studies on women's tendencies, and it turns out they're more racist than stormfront.org. Lots of guys on Stormfront actually have Asian girlfriends.

I'm a 5'10 Latino probably rated 5-6 in the face and can stand to lose some weight and put on some muscle. My success rate with cold approaches is pretty minimal which is why I switched to OLD where I can get dates without the time and effort required in going to a club. Once I'm in better shape I might try bars for picking up chicks but I'm satisfied with what I can pull online. Then again I'm only pulling girls who are 5-6 and not in the same territory as what bigdave wants.

 

[Fzatf]

When I was doing cold approach in bars/clubs, I always aimed for approaching 10 sets of 2 girls before the night was done. At least then I felt like I was trying and not wasting the night.

I would generally aim to only approach slim girls, but sometimes i'd approach anything just for "social proof" or because it didn't matter either way.

Typical breakdown of those typical 10 from memory:

- 5-6 sets - Complete disinterest - either one word answers, turning away physically after one word, saying "I have a boyfriend" within 1 minute of engagement, or being outride rude in more aggressive ways.

- 2-3 sets - Basically polite but no interest really, just nicer girls who don't like being rude.

- 1 set - If lucky, might have one set where the girl hooks and asks you some questions about you or seems at least marginally into you. This may or may not go anywhere but it's usually fun.

These abysmal results are mainly why I stopped clubbing. 1 hour getting ready, plus taxi, plus cover, plus 2-3 hours in a noisy club, plus alcohol, plus taxi back home, and disrupted sleep for this? Hardly worth it. It's like a 7 hour commitment to get systemically rejected. If I went to work instead I could make enough for the highest grade hooker in that same time, though that's not gratifying for other reasons.

What's your typical outcome from hitting on 10 sets in a night? What makes it worth it for you?

Before you start telling me I "need to work on my mindset", keep in mind I'm a 5'7" scrawny Indian guy with a 4/10 face. If you're a 6' white guy with a 5/10 face, we're living in different worlds.

Though you can't help your race or height, what's your opinion of spending some serious effort working out to get a muscular body with some good shirtless photos for old? If you were noticeably muscular under your clothes would it help at a club or bar?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

You'll get a couple a numbers and occasionally a one nighter. Don't randomly aporoach women . Step over to women who have chosen you through choosing signals. Eye contact and body language .

 

[The Duke]

For me its always been the 30% rule. Approach 10 girls, 3 show enough interest to consider. Out of those 3, 1 has the potential to go somewhere.

10 years ago, my buddy and I did an experiment at a few bars one night. We approached every HB7 and above that we saw and said "you're hot, want to make out?"
We got all kinds of responses and probably approached 20 girls that night between the 2 of us. Ended up being a lot of fun. Most didn't take us serious and thought we were
funny. We did get 4 or 5 of them to make out(roughly 25%). And out of those, we got 2 phone numbers. I ended up dating one of the girls.

These days I only go after women that show some solid interest(body language/eye contact/conversation). Weeds out the flakey time wasters that way. Too many girls looking for free attention.

 

[Trickster711]

They are always kind but not interested.

 

[malz1]

Just because you suck doesn't mean all non-whites suck lol... Projecting your own insecurities onto an entire ethno group is self-cope.

 

[The Duke]

Most guys won't get this often enough to build any sort of muscle memory

Also think most guys aren't very observant. It pays to first observe, sort the herd based on indirect cues they give, then approach. The shotgun approach isn't very efficient.

 

[fastlife]

I don't really worry about percentages. If I'm being honest & authentic to myself by talking to the girls I want to talk to and giving them a chance to meet me, then I've done my part & they're free to react however they want.

But I'd guess these days it'd be (approximately):

• 1-2 hard rejections--flat out disinterest, impossible to make any headway
• 2-3 soft rejections--initial disinterest that can be flipped around & hooked. Often my first-nighters start out in this category but probably only ~10% of this category.
• 3-4 social/light attraction interactions--good convos where we enjoy talking and I can probably get a number and maybe get them to meet up later, but due to logistics or just insufficient chemistry nothing really sexual.
• 2-3 high chemistry/sexual interactions--just hit it off, can do no wrong. However, if logistics don't work out these are by far the most likely to flake out later

But things didn't look like this until around 2 years in, and I was going out A LOT & had already put myself into all kinds of weird/uncomfortable situations. Starting out it was more like 6 flat out rejection/3 social/1 high chemistry.

Now, I have some natural advantages. I'm a good looking guy & have always done alright in social circle situations. But that's a variable that's controlled--my looks haven't changed in the past 3 years. What has changed is body language, eye contact, tonality (eye contact & tonality are by far the most important quick fixes) & outcome independence. I literally feel nothing when I get rejected and that by itself can flip a girl really quickly.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

You will almost never experience rejection if you let the female choose. They already noticed you .

 

[fastlife]

You will almost never experience rejection if you let the female choose. They already noticed you .

You're also handing over your power, your agency, and placing women in a leadership position--from the start, you are letting her determine the frame of the interaction.

Personally, waiting for someone else's permission to begin living my life is a direct affront to my core values. Additionally, that kind of passive approach severely limits your options & leads to sporadic results. Some of the best girls--looks-wise & personal values, but mostly a combination--have given me the least to work with up front. I've had some pretty solid freebies--to the point where I didn't think I needed to be proactive--but my life to this point would be significantly less consistently fulfilling had I kept relying on those.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

You're also handing over your power, your agency, and placing women in a leadership position--from the start, you are letting her determine the frame of the interaction.

Personally, waiting for someone else's permission to begin living my life is a direct affront to my core values. Additionally, that kind of passive approach severely limits your options & leads to sporadic results. Some of the best girls--looks-wise & personal values, but mostly a combination--have given me the least to work with up front. I've had some pretty solid freebies--to the point where I didn't think I needed to be proactive--but my life to this point would be significantly less consistently fulfilling had I kept relying on those.

Its not permission. It's just observing she already likes you.

I don't want to gas bytches heads up with validation that didn't even show she likes me . Plus I'm not going to try to make her like me .

 

[MrJack]

You will almost never experience rejection if you let the female choose. They already noticed you .

I think it’s necessary for people more on the beginner/intermediate-ish side to experience rejection a lot, at least initially until it doesn’t phase them anymore.

That in itself will project positively in your body language and mindset IMO which will then improve your success almost without you noticing it.