Yep, I definitely need help

bengboy

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I think this forum is awesome because I can share any girl problem without embarrassment and get a variety of insightful advice from unbiased (although occasionally one-sided) third parties. Merry Christmas everyone!

Alright here's the deal. I first met Alice at the gym. My first glimpse of this goddess was her ass rising out of the pool as she pushed herself up onto the ledge. Believe me, this ass is PHENOMENAL. This girl has the most naturally toned body and classic features, I wish I had a picture for ya'll. ANYWAY...
She was with her tall blonde friend Dana, who also looked pretty appealing in her bikini. I was standing by the towels getting ready to go as they were coming out of the steam room. Somehow Dana slipped and totally biffed it, so when they walked over to get their stuff, I made some comment, got to rappin, and suggested they give me their phone number. I was more attracted to Alice but Dana overeagerly volunteered me her number and I could see right then who was the classier in-demand one. But Dana was lithe and totally do-able so I figured, what the hell.
However when we went on our coffee date her annoying personality and average face weren't enough to compensate for her long legs and decent rack so I didn't make a move and never called her again. For the next year I ran into Alice rarely and randomly, but we always had good energy when we chatted, and at school when she'd walk by all the guys would stare, not in the typical I-want-to-****-you way...more like how a peasant stares at a queen.
About now it's becoming obvious that I put this ***** on a pedestal. Not just because of how hot she is...she's also unbelievably intelligent, interesting, and well-spoken, an incredible singer/songwriter, speaks multiple languages, travels throughout Europe, wears heels in everyday life, and carries herself with a dignified air.
Okay okay I'll get to the point. Recently we started actually kicking it. One of the first times, we sat on her couch and talked for 7 hours straight till 3 in the morning. Sex was definitely a topic, but I was satisfied just conversing with her. P.S. This girl is 19 but acts like she's 26. She has a daddy complex and likes older guys, the last dude she dated was a 33-year-old ex-model.
A few weeks ago we were hanging out on her couch again and she was talking about how horny she was. She actually said, "I haven't been this horny in...well, ever!" and later, "I want to copulate!" At one point she shifted so my foot was right on her crotch.
But I'm a ***** and it's hard for me to believe this girl wants me even when she acts like that. She plays games for sure. I bit the back of her neck when she was on the phone and she responded well, but when I pulled her down to start cuddling with her she went limp like a dead fish (we were watching TV).
She keeps inviting me to hang out though, and last night I spent the night in her bed. We always watch movies and what not and she leans against me, sometimes stroking me with a single toe or finger. If I had the guts to just kiss her I have a feeling it could go well, but she also makes comments about how hard it is to find guys that won't make a move on her. On the other hand she'll talk about how attractive she thinks I am, blah blah blah.
NOW here's my question. I spooned with her a bit last night and when I woke up I lay there for a bit, then decided to lean over and start kissing her neck. Problem is, as soon as I landed one she jumped and was like, "You startled me!" I backed off but cuddled with her for a bit, then took off.
I can't get the balls up to just grab her and go for it, I get too many mixed signals from her! Should I talk to her or what? I really value our friendship but she's too hot for me to be satisfied with just that anymore. Opinions?
Additional factors: she likes the fact that I'm "safe" because she's been both molested and raped, but on the other hand she's said, "I like it when a guy just grabs you, pushes you up against the wall, and kisses you whether you like it or not." She'll initiate physical contact but it seems like when I do she pulls back a bit. I'm confused.
 

game.r

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molested and raped, add in the mixed signals = RUNNNNN!!
 

ThatMysteriousGuy

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Run away as fast as you can, she's 100% basket case.

But Dana was lithe and totally do-able so I figured, what the hell.
However when we went on our coffee date her annoying personality and average face weren't enough to compensate for her long legs and decent rack so I didn't make a move and never called her again.
You wanted Alice and were thinking about Alice. She has an incredible magnet-like outside personality.

For the next year I ran into Alice rarely and randomly, but we always had good energy when we chatted, and at school when she'd walk by all the guys would stare, not in the typical I-want-to-****-you way...more like how a peasant stares at a queen.
Oh, dude, oneitis, you're already in deep. But, you know this.

About now it's becoming obvious that I put this ***** on a pedestal. Not just because of how hot she is...she's also unbelievably intelligent, interesting, and well-spoken, an incredible singer/songwriter, speaks multiple languages, travels throughout Europe, wears heels in everyday life, and carries herself with a dignified air.
Um, she's created this alluring personality on purpose, it's a trap. It's not her being a "natural" really great girl, it's for very bad reasons.

Okay okay I'll get to the point. Recently we started actually kicking it. One of the first times, we sat on her couch and talked for 7 hours straight till 3 in the morning. Sex was definitely a topic, but I was satisfied just conversing with her.
You were afraid. That turns her on by the way.

P.S. This girl is 19 but acts like she's 26. She has a daddy complex and likes older guys, the last dude she dated was a 33-year-old ex-model.
Your oneitis is telling you this as well as this "she's all that" personality she has created in a quite detailed and obsessive manner. The real reason is because of what she tells you later about bad things that may or may not have happened to her.

A few weeks ago we were hanging out on her couch again and she was talking about how horny she was. She actually said, "I haven't been this horny in...well, ever!" and later, "I want to copulate!" At one point she shifted so my foot was right on her crotch.
She's feeling good about her power. (she has good reasons...)

But I'm a ***** and it's hard for me to believe this girl wants me even when she acts like that. She plays games for sure. I bit the back of her neck when she was on the phone and she responded well, but when I pulled her down to start cuddling with her she went limp like a dead fish (we were watching TV).
DANGER WILL ROBINSON! THESE AREN'T GAMES, SHE'S BROKEN!

She keeps inviting me to hang out though, and last night I spent the night in her bed. We always watch movies and what not and she leans against me, sometimes stroking me with a single toe or finger. If I had the guts to just kiss her I have a feeling it could go well, but she also makes comments about how hard it is to find guys that won't make a move on her. On the other hand she'll talk about how attractive she thinks I am, blah blah blah.
Dude, she doesn't want to be out of what she feels to be full control of you and that's what she's doing. Keeping you constantly off balance.

NOW here's my question. I spooned with her a bit last night and when I woke up I lay there for a bit, then decided to lean over and start kissing her neck. Problem is, as soon as I landed one she jumped and was like, "You startled me!" I backed off but cuddled with her for a bit, then took off.
I can't get the balls up to just grab her and go for it, I get too many mixed signals from her! Should I talk to her or what? I really value our friendship but she's too hot for me to be satisfied with just that anymore. Opinions?
Additional factors: she likes the fact that I'm "safe" because she's been both molested and raped, but on the other hand she's said, "I like it when a guy just grabs you, pushes you up against the wall, and kisses you whether you like it or not." She'll initiate physical contact but it seems like when I do she pulls back a bit. I'm confused.
RUN!

You being "safe" means she doesn't want to be powerless with a man ever again. She wants you to make a move but she's pushing/commanding you about it. She wants to MAKE you MAKE her do it. I'll tell you just a bit of what will happen:

Either she'll crank you up enough to "take her down" or she'll go ahead and "take it" if it looks like you're going for another girl, and this is a gigantic red flag, she should have friendzoned you long ago. Normal girls would have been shut down by your fear of making moves instead of being turned on.

As soon as she feels even the slightest hint she's losing control (feelings for you) the shait is going to hit the fan.
She'll spin your head in any way she can.
She'll start trying to provoke you into losing yourself to anger and she'll get excited.
Angry sex will be "good" in a very bad way soon...reenactments of forced sex in dangerous ways, not normal girl "do me how you want".
Random: lays there and stares at you, laughing/crying/ridiculing/fighting sex.
Then, she's going to really start pushing you over the edge so you'll be violent AND SHE'LL ENJOY IT BECAUSE SHE'LL FEEL IN POWER. THIS IS ABOUT PAYBACK. TAG, YOU'RE IT.

Dude, she's broken, and she WILL break you. You will be in a living nightmare if you EVER sleep with her and then you'll be "damaged goods" by the time she's done. There are THREE THOUSAND FOUR HUNDRED MILLION women out there. This one is very bad news. Don't sleep with her.

You've been warned. Don't ever sleep with her.
 

Aiken_Drum

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"I like it when a guy just grabs you, pushes you up against the wall, and kisses you whether you like it or not."

Dude, you are a man, act like one. You want her? Ignore her ****ing mixed signals, just go for it, YOU want her, don't worry about what she wants.
Being a man it's all about keeping in mind what is YOUR outcome in a given situation.
Adapting to other's is AFC material.
Be classy and respectful, but aggressive and masculine. Girls want to be TAKEN. You CAN'T ask, you need to TAKE!

Best of luck man!
 

Men frequently err by talking too much. They often monopolize conversations, droning on and on about topics that bore women to tears. They think they're impressing the women when, in reality, they're depressing the women.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Aiken_Drum

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ThatMysteriousGuy, that was an amazing post.
I cannot tell if it is an awesome analysis of these types of girl's personality, an over analysis of the situation or a mix between.
I think there is a lot of truth about what you say, but are you sure this MUST end up wrong?

Perhaps if he takes the reins he can make something good? At least for a short term relationship, A.K.A. ****ing her a couple of times and then not seeing her again?

What do you think?

BTW, you don't sound like a guy who just started with the game, do you have a good background right?
 

bengboy

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Thanks alot guys, I'm definitely taking all this into consideration. It's true aiken, I've studied the game before and in some areas i'm excellent, but when a girl like this comes along I have a glaring deficiency...oneitis, as mysteriousguy pointed out. I became sexual late in life, in fact I didn't jack off even once till I was 20 (strict religious upbringing which I embraced)...that was also the age I lost my virginity. That gives a person exceptional self-control, which becomes a weakness when you're in bed next to a half-naked fox and your brain's giving you all these reasons why you shouldn't just go with your animal instincts. But back to Alice. I know I should sack up and take what i want, and BTW mysteriousguy, I appreciate the detail you went into and agree she's probably alot darker than the pretty picture she portrays...and maybe you're right that I shouldn't get involved. What you said about power was very applicable and helped me see the situation from a different angle. But there's still a part of me that wants to conquer this girl...if I choose to proceed I suppose my best move would be become less available and display more independence? I kinda do let her call the shots despite her eagerness for me to take the lead. Must be frustrating for her, dealing with another AFC...one more question, should I talk to her about any of this since we're pretty close friends at the moment? For my own sake I just wanna be like "Look, I have feelings for you" and then walk away if she doesn't give me what I want.
Also...mysteriousguy said that I was afraid (he was right) and that turns her on...I'd like to know the psychology behind this.
 

Waking Up

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The psychology is basically that your hesitance and non-chalantness when speaking to her can challenge some girls on because you're in a sense conveying disinterest, which can be a good thing.

edit: But in the long run it's not good, since when the opportunity arises you must make a move or else it won't go anywhere, and the faster the better.
 

ThatMysteriousGuy

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bengboy said:
Also...mysteriousguy said that I was afraid (he was right) and that turns her on...I'd like to know the psychology behind this.
It's not necessary. It's the exact opposite of what happened to her when being molested. She's trying to hold all of the power and you're the innocent, nice person that looks up to her. She feels in control and safe with the tables turned.

When she was being raped/molested she was the one in fear and the others had power and her fear turned them on.

She's a mess and she knows it. She also knows she's got a long way to fall off of the pedestal you've built.

She does wants you to be dominant and "take her down" as soon as possible. That's obvious.

You just need to decide what you're going to do if things start going the way I think they'll go. Will you go darker and darker with her or be too disturbed by it and be able to break out from under the spell you're under and bail out quickly?
 

bengboy

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so any suggestions for a smooth way to "take her down"? I haven't contacted her for days and she hasn't contacted me. Last time either of us spoke was when I sent her a text saying I was gonna call her later to have coffee but I never did.
 

Never try to read a woman's mind. It is a scary place. Ignore her confusing signals and mixed messages. Assume she is interested in you and act accordingly.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

jophil28

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bengboy said:
so any suggestions for a smooth way to "take her down"? I haven't contacted her for days and she hasn't contacted me. Last time either of us spoke was when I sent her a text saying I was gonna call her later to have coffee but I never did.
Dude, if I were you I would read 'Mysteriousguy' again and forget all the other lame replies telling you to " be a man" ....This woman is SICK and she will break you into small bleeding pieces because she needs to hurt a guy badly. She can't hurt the guys who hurt her so she needs a substitute. You are in fact 'volunteering' to be that guy , however you think that you are merely involved in some harmeless sexy mindgames.
You are no match for mental illness. Get out now.
 

Jitterbug

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It scares me how those girls are all identical and how many guys they've indirectly sent to forums like SS to ask for help.

To emphasise the above post: no amount of "Be A Man" or Game is a match for their mental illness (unless you're a sociopath yourself). Just RUN.
 
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