Yeah we have a problem

[Bigworm]

OK soo. I go to college in boston and i live on the dorms. i have one friend with benefits living on one floor and she introduces me to one of her friends. i end up asking that friend to lunch and she says yes. I got a text message from my friends from benefits saying this:
this is prolly none of my business,
but did u ask my friend X out to lunch?

how do i diffuse the situation so that i roll with both of them ?

 

[Bigworm]

since nobodies posting i should make the question more specific --- should i answer her question straight up --- or deny even though that would make her friend look like a lier?

 

[mobius]

This why having a friend with benefits isn't a good idea. Something always comes up in a later relationship.

 

[KS123]

be a man about it, tell her the truth.

 

[Spirit Fingers]

Just text her back -- "Yes." That's it. Don't explain it or qualify yourself. Go to lunch with the other girl, and hopefully bang her.

BUT -- this is important -- continue to treat her well, show her you care about her, etc.

This is assuming you've managed her expectations and she knows the deal, and that's she's an FB, not a girl with a lot of feelings for you.

Also, noticed you're in Boston. You should join the Boston Lair -- it's a local group of guys who go out and wing for each other when we meet women, and meet occasionally to discuss ways to attract them. If you're interested join at:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/b-o-s-lair/

-Dan

 

[A-Unit]

Re:

Don't dodge this shyt, so weak.

You have to be willing to handle ANYTHING, even losing a good FWB for a better one, or to find your new girlfriend. If she asks why, be honest. Don't BS. You'll probably keep both.

As stated by Fingers, don't say more than you have to, then she'll start asking too many questions.


A-UNit

 

[Bigworm]

yeah that exactly wat i was thinking, but anyway ill definetly join the lair.

 

[spider_007]

if you go out with that gurl you will loose your friend with benefits (your half way there already, especially if they are good friends). Put your self in her place. would you want to keep nailing a chick when she is trying to get something going with your friend (it might not be as wierd to guys, but most chicks will feel wierd..)

 

[GuitarPlayer]

"A friend of yours is a friend of mine." (Insert some form of smiley)

This will disarm her somewhat because who could be mad at you after such a statement?

 

[JackPrescott]

"Friends with Benefits" or "F**k Buddies" are strange and sticky concepts. There are no set laws or patterns, each one is unique. Both emphasize FREEDOM and INDEPENDENCE of both partners. For this FB thing to be 100% effective, both parties must basically agree not to get jealous, and not to ask any questions, and NO clinginess allowed. You are getting the benefits of physical intimacy and sex, without any of the commitment part. This girlie is obviously not turned on to that, she thinks she has a boyfriend.

 

[Dueyunit]

Dont lie man be straight up then u wont have 2 bichin chicks

 

[BrotherAP]

You have to follow through on the lunch with her friend

She knows you asked her friend out. She's on to your game. To back out of lunch now would be to admit your guilty of something - like a kid with his hand caught in the cookie jar, who jerks it away suddenly when he sees mommy looking. If you act guilty, you will only convince her that you are. You don't see anything wrong with going out to lunch with her friend, otherwise you wouldn't have done so, so don't act like it's some kind of sin now.

If she is a FB, she should know that's where she stands, and you shouldn't have to lie to her about seeing other girls. I'm not saying that she has to be ok with that - but if that's what you want, you have to be willing to state your intentions.

Remember, the worst way to respond to a confrontational woman is to waffle in a weak attempt to appease her. Stick by your guns, tell her "This is the way it is, take it is as-is or leave it."


BrotherAP

 

[Bigworm]

you know whats funny - so i guess the two girls might have closer than i thought and so the date i was supposed to happen today with FB"s friend didnt happen --- even though id think i like to get her over my FB. i think im keep my losses down and stay with my fvckbuddy.
waht do guys think?

 

[syncmaster]

Just say you went out for lunch. No big deal.

 

[Tkman]

Originally posted by Bigworm
you know whats funny - so i guess the two girls might have closer than i thought and so the date i was supposed to happen today with FB"s friend didnt happen --- even though id think i like to get her over my FB. i think im keep my losses down and stay with my fvckbuddy.
waht do guys think?

That was obvious man ... the FB blocked you !

 

[Bigworm]

yeah and i fvcking hate it -- her friend is so much better

 

[Tkman]

Originally posted by Bigworm
yeah and i fvcking hate it -- her friend is so much better

have you tired to txt msg or call the friend or your FB ?

 

[Tkman]

Originally posted by Bigworm
yeah and i fvcking hate it -- her friend is so much better

have you txt msg or call the friend or your FB since the date was cancelled ?

 

[Bigworm]

yeah i called my FB, and i just acted as if nothin really happened, i talked to her about her day , just regular stuff ---

 

[The Juan and only]

BrotherAP pretty much hit the spot. Don't make excuses for what you're doing and she will have to accept it.