wussy??
- Thread starter 32swf
- Start date
I am interested
I do have real interest in him. If I didn't, his low interest wouldn't bother me.
I don't want to be jerked around though, or waste my time, like I have in the past with men who weren't really that interested in me.
I think women have to walk a fine line. On one hand, we like to show we're interested, on the other, we need some positive feedback or we start to feel like we're chasing the guy and coming across as desperate.
If men play at being a challenge TOO much, we see it as lack of interest. It might raise our interest level a little, but only initially. After a while, we get tired of second guessing you.
We're both in our 30s, too old to be playing these games.
He's supposed to call me when he gets home from work tonight.
I do have real interest in him. If I didn't, his low interest wouldn't bother me.
I don't want to be jerked around though, or waste my time, like I have in the past with men who weren't really that interested in me.
I think women have to walk a fine line. On one hand, we like to show we're interested, on the other, we need some positive feedback or we start to feel like we're chasing the guy and coming across as desperate.
If men play at being a challenge TOO much, we see it as lack of interest. It might raise our interest level a little, but only initially. After a while, we get tired of second guessing you.
We're both in our 30s, too old to be playing these games.
He's supposed to call me when he gets home from work tonight.
I agree
yes, it's an English expression too.
it does work both ways. but I think when one person is playing games and the other one isn't it gets annoying.
I think he's a bit interested, or he'd have said no, or blown me off. If we do end up going out tonight, I'll let him take the initiative from now on. I believe I've made it clear that I'm interested in him.
Friday night on our date I was using kino on him, touching his chest and asking if he worked out. THen he brought up gettng a tatoo, and that gave me even more chances to touch him, his back, arms, etc, as we talked about possible places for him to get the tatoo.
he did say that the last women he dated didn't treat him very well, so maybe he's just being cautious with me.
yes, it's an English expression too.
it does work both ways. but I think when one person is playing games and the other one isn't it gets annoying.
I think he's a bit interested, or he'd have said no, or blown me off. If we do end up going out tonight, I'll let him take the initiative from now on. I believe I've made it clear that I'm interested in him.
Friday night on our date I was using kino on him, touching his chest and asking if he worked out. THen he brought up gettng a tatoo, and that gave me even more chances to touch him, his back, arms, etc, as we talked about possible places for him to get the tatoo.
he did say that the last women he dated didn't treat him very well, so maybe he's just being cautious with me.
Never try to read a woman's mind. It is a scary place. Ignore her confusing signals and mixed messages. Assume she is interested in you and act accordingly.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
thissucks003
Senior Don Juan
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Re: I agree
That's very likely! And I wouldn't rule out that he may be dating other women at the same time, which is fine at this stage of the game.
Blaaaaat
Senior Don Juan
Re: I agree
But to get back ontopic, how sure are you he knows that you have a sincere IL in him?
Well, judging IL on woman can have a empirical fundament. It's like a burnmark in your brain, I think this is a "survival instinct" that prevents someone from getting hurt. Once I was bit by a bee and from that moment I was very carefull with yellow-black insect flying around me...
But to get back ontopic, how sure are you he knows that you have a sincere IL in him?
doesn't touching him show interest?
I think just calling him up and asking him to do somthing with me, shows that I'm interested.
I don't allude to doing things in the future, because I don't want to wrongly assume that we're going to continue to see each other.
In fact, he's done more of that then I have. He was telling me about fixing up his old house, and I was very interested what he was doing, and he said "I'll have to show you sometime." and said the same thing when I was very interested in his scuba diving.
I did say I'd take him ww rafting sometime though.
I think just calling him up and asking him to do somthing with me, shows that I'm interested.
I don't allude to doing things in the future, because I don't want to wrongly assume that we're going to continue to see each other.
In fact, he's done more of that then I have. He was telling me about fixing up his old house, and I was very interested what he was doing, and he said "I'll have to show you sometime." and said the same thing when I was very interested in his scuba diving.
I did say I'd take him ww rafting sometime though.
Blaaaaat
Senior Don Juan
Sure, touching CAN be a sign of interest. But one girl ****ed me, and she wasn't al that intrested in me. Some girls didn't touch me at all, and later on I found out that they where head over heels for me (AFC days). I'm now with a girl, and we have gone al the way, and I'm still not sure about here IL. The only way to be sure is to ask if he's interested, but then again, maybe that will push him away by presurring him to make up his mind right away, haha great "game" isn't it?
I think the best way is to keep dating him, date him in a "dating way" and not in a "we are friends way" and eventually you will know. Keep dating others because if this isn't going to work out you've wasted your time.
I think the best way is to keep dating him, date him in a "dating way" and not in a "we are friends way" and eventually you will know. Keep dating others because if this isn't going to work out you've wasted your time.
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Click Here
Senior Don Juan
put him in an akward position, like make a comment about your hair and get him to touch it, then you can lock eyes and there good kiss chances + you can also tease him like that which is what i feel like your lacking. He prolly feels like he could hit it if he tryed you need to tease a little.
What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.
You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
update
well, he called last night when he got home from work, like he said he would, but said he was just going to stay home, and didn't feel like going to hear a band. He said he needed to finish working on putting up the cabinets in his kitchen while his roommate was gone.
he said it was a good band though, and asked if I was going with a group of people. I stupidly said "no, I hadn't talked to anyone else about it yet". He said, "well maybe another time. I'll talk to you soon."
I know this is a blow off, but I don't understand why.
any suggestions?
well, he called last night when he got home from work, like he said he would, but said he was just going to stay home, and didn't feel like going to hear a band. He said he needed to finish working on putting up the cabinets in his kitchen while his roommate was gone.
he said it was a good band though, and asked if I was going with a group of people. I stupidly said "no, I hadn't talked to anyone else about it yet". He said, "well maybe another time. I'll talk to you soon."
I know this is a blow off, but I don't understand why.
any suggestions?
Bonhomme
Master Don Juan
The ball's in his court
Yes, it looks like he has a low interest level. Don't call him. See if he calls you. If he is interested, he'll contact you.
But, don't assume he wants you as anything more than a friend if he does contact you. I have a female friend who I know was hot for me in a big way (I say was because now she's married), but I've never been hot enough for her to want anything more. But she is a very interesting person, and I enjoy hanging out with her as a friend.
Better luck next time, 32.
**********
This tread does illustrate the principle of challenge well. It's like spice. A bit of it enhances the IL of someone who already has a decent amount of interest, but rapidly kills their IL if overdone.
Yes, it looks like he has a low interest level. Don't call him. See if he calls you. If he is interested, he'll contact you.
But, don't assume he wants you as anything more than a friend if he does contact you. I have a female friend who I know was hot for me in a big way (I say was because now she's married), but I've never been hot enough for her to want anything more. But she is a very interesting person, and I enjoy hanging out with her as a friend.
Better luck next time, 32.
**********
This tread does illustrate the principle of challenge well. It's like spice. A bit of it enhances the IL of someone who already has a decent amount of interest, but rapidly kills their IL if overdone.
You can analyze it forever, and you'll still never know.
You can straight out ask him why, and you'll still never be sure he told you the truth.
Bottom line, he doesn't want to date you right now, that's all you need to know.
bp1974
You can straight out ask him why, and you'll still never be sure he told you the truth.
Bottom line, he doesn't want to date you right now, that's all you need to know.
bp1974
BGMan
Master Don Juan
Re: update
However, I'll confess I've done similar blow-offs. However, not many guys would blow a girl off for strategic reasons like I did, so it's unlikely he's all that interested in you. But if he is operating like me, what you should do is wait for him to call and ask you out.
If he doesn't, NEXT.
BGMan
LOL, that "putting up cabinets in my kitchen" sounds almost as much of a diss as "I need to do my hair"! Oof.Originally posted by 32swf
well, he called last night when he got home from work, like he said he would, but said he was just going to stay home, and didn't feel like going to hear a band. He said he needed to finish working on putting up the cabinets in his kitchen while his roommate was gone.
he said it was a good band though, and asked if I was going with a group of people. I stupidly said "no, I hadn't talked to anyone else about it yet". He said, "well maybe another time. I'll talk to you soon."
I know this is a blow off, but I don't understand why.
any suggestions?
However, I'll confess I've done similar blow-offs. However, not many guys would blow a girl off for strategic reasons like I did, so it's unlikely he's all that interested in you. But if he is operating like me, what you should do is wait for him to call and ask you out.
If he doesn't, NEXT.
BGMan
I agree with the last three posts. Any guy around here would probably tell you that we will normally shuck housework to hang out with a woman that we are really into- not to mention most of the time.
I can't recall the last time I heard a guy give such a lame excuse for not being able to go on a date.
I can't recall the last time I heard a guy give such a lame excuse for not being able to go on a date.
TesuqueRed
Master Don Juan
Interesting take on that...I can't say it's wrong. I'm reading the situation as he's:
a) AFC;
b) uninterested;
c) unresponsive (needs to liven up a little or a shot more testosterone, actually.);
d) all of the above (not quite enough here to determine.)
Next him, 32swf--you can't always dance lead.
a) AFC;
b) uninterested;
c) unresponsive (needs to liven up a little or a shot more testosterone, actually.);
d) all of the above (not quite enough here to determine.)
Next him, 32swf--you can't always dance lead.
one more shot?
if he's an AFC and not really experienced in dating he might just need a little push. He's kinda shy too, which is why I think he kept telling me to call him, so he didnt' have to take the initiative and be rejected. I don't know.
Last time we went out he kept saying things like "you'll have to come see my house" and "I'd like to take you scuba diving" alluding to future events. And when I offerred to pay the tab, he said, "you can get it next time". If there wasn't going to be a next time why was he saying all those things??
I'm thinking that I'll wait until next week and maybe give him another shot. All he can say is no.
if he's an AFC and not really experienced in dating he might just need a little push. He's kinda shy too, which is why I think he kept telling me to call him, so he didnt' have to take the initiative and be rejected. I don't know.
Last time we went out he kept saying things like "you'll have to come see my house" and "I'd like to take you scuba diving" alluding to future events. And when I offerred to pay the tab, he said, "you can get it next time". If there wasn't going to be a next time why was he saying all those things??
I'm thinking that I'll wait until next week and maybe give him another shot. All he can say is no.
Oscar Wilde
Master Don Juan
Re: one more shot?
Oscar.
Yeah, may as well be a little persistant, seeing as you've high IL. See if he calls you back, then call him. Try more obvious stuff like long gazes into his eyes, if he ignores that he's homosexual.
Oscar.