WTF - She thinks I am Busted?

[FFASA]

I have a situation that has recently happened, and I don't have anyone in my life as good with women as I am, so I am looking for some masters help. I recently went out with a 23 old who is very attractive (I am 33). I teased and C&F'd her for months before she finally approached me and wanted to go out (rarely do I ask them out any more). Anyway, we went out, and that night the air sparked with sexual tension. She teased back, and we had a great time. She attacked me as we left the bar. We had a night that proper etiquette prohibits me mentioning. About half a week later I called & took her to a quick lunch. Great convo and everything was cool. She asked what I was doing that weekend (she had to work) and I told her a "few get togethers." Anyway, I had another woman at my house on Saturday (I am dating 7 or 8 right now). At one point I went to my car to get a CD and someone had written "Di** and Liar" in lipstick on the car. At the time I just laughed and wiped it off. The next day I started calling all of the women in my life to talk and see if I could figure out which one just disqualified herself. I didn't figure it was the new girl as she didn't know where I lived (though she could have looked it up). So far she is the only woman who did not call back or talk to me. I have only called her once in the last week.

Now, I am not asking how to save her or win her or any of that crap. I don't have a clue what caused the Di** and liar comment. I don't just spill my life to women, & I don't typically outright lie anyway(make no mistake about it, I will, I just didn't that I know of). The problem is she is a bartender at a club that I frequent often. About half the girls I am dating have come from this one spot. So how do I handle myself to minimize potential damage to my sterling rep? If she is the kinda girl to find my house and write on my car, then she is going to make some type of scene. Like I said, several of the girls I am dating have mentioned my name being brought up with the negative comments. So far I laugh it off and tell the girls that I will lie about anything if it will get them into my bed. So far they all laugh and let it go. I am curious how you might handle the situation to INCREASE the attraction of the other women who hear/see this situation? And how would you handle the lady I think did this?

Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

Brian
FFASA@aol.com

 

[Big Pappy]

The shade of lipstick might give you a hint as to who did it....

I think you're handling you're business just fine.

I understand your concern about your reputation suffering at your hang out.
Why are you worried about the bartender? What makes you think it's her that's gone psycho on you?

When things like this happen, any sane girl is going to think it's a bit psycho, even if it is possibly deserved.


7 or 8? You're hooking up with 7 or 8 girls and you're coming here for wisdom?

 

[NatureGuy]

7 or 8 ? If that's true, it doesn't surprise
me at all that someone would find out
and react negatively. How do you find the
time and energy to go out with 7/8 women at once? And why? For myself, I know I've
got alot of other things I want to do than
spend my time that way (even if I was
unemployed).

 

[FFASA]

LOL ok guys, I wasn't looking for any judgment on my sex life. If you have read any of my post, or Tips of the Week, you will find a common thread. I don't want just one woman or a relationship. I am upfront about this. Some of the women I sleep with have boyfriends (Never married women even though they try, I just think that is wrong). If you have done any research at all you will find that most men are not as good a lover as they think they are. I have spent 10 years learning everything I can about sex. Not just positions, but how to touch a woman's mind, and open her up. Most of the women I am with tease me about being a slut. Doesn't up set me at all. As far as having time, I combine my hobbies with my women. You know, take them scuba diving, or my favorite is painting them. I paint a few times a week, and I will always offer to paint on her. You know, strip her and paint a picture on her back, then take a picture of it for her. It is erotic, inexpensive, and something nobody else does. It is also akin to foreplay and leads to other things (like the shower to wash it off).

Now, back to the point. This is the first question I have ever posted. I have never had this type of issue out there, and I was hopping at least one guy on here really was a Don Juan. You know, the mythical character who has slept with 1000's of women. I have been with a few hundred (I lost count long ago). I realize most of you are here to learn to meet a woman, or keep one you like. I am playing a different game. Not better, not worse, just different. So, if you have ever been in a position similar to what I described, I could use some input. I went to that club last night, but she wasn't there. I did pick up a cute hooters chick though. Anyway, happy Thanksgiving.

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

I've never had someone go that psycho on me but i've gotten punched a couple of times for turning down a girl and I've also been out where some girl I was with went into the bathroom and some random girl would tell her to watch out for me cause I'm a bigtime player. I just joke it away, always works but still it's kinda stupid of girls to react that way.

 

[OpenMind]

Was there anything you did or said for her to have called you a d*ck and a liar?

 

[Slickster]

FFASA,

First off, you have no solid proof that the "new girl" wrote on your car with lipstick. It might be a good assumption, but thats all it is. It could be any one of your women. Maybe one of them saw you out with the new girl that night and was momentarily pissed. Who knows? Hell it could be just plain vandalism or some other random enemy. You'd best know for sure before you do anything.

Next, you haven't told her any lies. (that you can remember ) Therefore you really haven't done anything wrong. It sounds like you've been pretty open with your other 7-8 women and they don't seem to mind being part of your harem. However it sounds like you haven't been as open with the "new girl". Understandable seeing how you were trying to bed her down.

The question I have is when did you reveal to the other 7-8 women that they weren't the only "one(s)" in your life? Before or after you sexed them? Didn't any of them react in a negative way similar to the new girl? I find it hard to believe that they didn't. At least initially.

Anyways, from the sounds of it you should be very experienced in this type of situation. ie. Explaining your promiscous lifestyle to women. You can't tell me this is the first time you've come across this type of situation.

However, you've done nothing wrong and you should let bartender girl know this. If she can't handle it then let her go.

I can't see why any of your other women would give a sh!t about the bartender bad mouthing you. Sounds like they already know about your lifestyle anyway. If not it was only a matter of time.

I have read some of your other "rare" posts and I must say I was impressed. However this one has me going Hmmmm.......????

Are you for really for real? Or is this a bunch o' bullsh!t?

 

[FFASA]

"You'd best know for sure before you do anything."

That is a great point. I haven't yet decided how to go about this.

"The question I have is when did you reveal to the other 7-8 women that they weren't the only "one(s)" in your life? Before or after you sexed them?"

It depends. I don't usually say that I date lot's of women, but I am seen with many. But I will tell you something interesting. Most of the women who chase me are the ones who see me for several months, and always with a different girl. For example a new 20 year old started working in my office about 2 months ago. Everyone warned her about me, so she didn't like me from the start. Then after several different girls dropped by the office to go to lunch with me she started asking me how many women I date. Now, she WAS engaged, and really gave me an ear full about my lifestyle. I just laugh and point out that it is my choice, and most women who date me know what I am about. Anyway, she started calling, and then asking me to lunch and stuff. She broke off her engagement about a week ago with the bf, and I slept with her that night. She told me she would never sleep with a guy like me, she hated players, I am too old, etc. Well, that is what most women say, but I know what women find attractive, and that is not the same thing they say. They want men who are uncontrollable, and they all have the dream of finding a 'player' and settling him down. The bartender in question is one of these. She knew I slept with her friend (who lived with a guy) and she saw me pick up and leave with many women at the club. It excited her to the point she chased me for the first date.

"You can't tell me this is the first time you've come across this type of situation."

Yep, it is. I have had too many girls to count to get so pissed off, I have been slapped, yelled at, accused of all kinds of crap... but no one has ever defaced my property, or left me that kind of note.

"Are you for really for real? Or is this a bunch o' bullsh!t?"

Cummon brother, what kinda question is that. Nobody brags that they lost a million dollar company, filled bankruptcy and had lost a wife so they could raise a little kid alone. I shared that to help other guys. Many, many men have talked with me, helped me and given me wisdom so that I could start rebuilding my life. I wanted a family, my company and everything I had. Now, I am slowly rebuilding. My story was shared to encourage the guys who just lost 'the one', or who feel frustrated that business, or life isn't going their way. It was also a way to change my perspective on the things that happened, to try and use a bad situation for my good, and the good of those who want it.

 

[Ice Cold]

I wouldn't wipe it off the windshield I'd drive around with pride


It's bound to happen. What's worse though is that the women are usually extremely vindictive. Now you probably have a bitter little b1tch obscessing about how to ruin your life.

I'd worry about that and gather facts and evidence.

Other than that you're kewl man

 

[PRMoon]

I'm in agreement in most areas of this forum. Who ever it was who wrote on your car with lipstick has either been watching too much Nip Tuck or genuinely has a problem with you which may not be a problem with the arrangement you have with her.

True you tell these girls that you're going to see other girls etc etc and I'm sure they all agree too it but underneath it all, people have feelings and emotions. The rationality behind actions and behavior can be erratic if some how one of these girls got emotionally tied with you. Though they may not of said anything to you at the time, one of thes girls (present or past) may have emotionaly and mentally gone to another level with you and created some defining moment (in her mind) that you over looked or chalkes up as normal. Either way seeing you with someone else they might have some history with or something of that nature might have put them over the edge. Since you're not 100% sure which one of the 7+ it is (though you spoke to many, when emotions are involved lying can not be ruled out) I would suspect all of them. If the bartender is your number one suspect then I don't see how you have anymore work to do, talk to her about whatever and set her right, if its not her then do whatever for whomever. Though I doubt it, don't let the situation get violent, this happened to one of my boys only instead of lipstick on the door he got a cinder block through the windsheild so be careful.

 

[Ice Cold]

That's why you don't hit on girls in the joints you go to often.

 

[Slickster]

By Slickster:

"Are you for really for real? Or is this a bunch o' bullsh!t?"

Response by FFASA:

Cummon brother, what kinda question is that. Nobody brags that they lost a million dollar company, filled bankruptcy and had lost a wife so they could raise a little kid alone. I shared that to help other guys. Many, many men have talked with me, helped me and given me wisdom so that I could start rebuilding my life. I wanted a family, my company and everything I had. Now, I am slowly rebuilding. My story was shared to encourage the guys who just lost 'the one', or who feel frustrated that business, or life isn't going their way. It was also a way to change my perspective on the things that happened, to try and use a bad situation for my good, and the good of those who want it.

No offense bro. I wasn't referring to your past stories. I was making a reference to the fact that after wheeling so many women at the same time you haven't dealt with a pissed off chick before.


by FFASA:

I have been slapped, yelled at, accused of all kinds of crap... but no one has ever defaced my property, or left me that kind of note.

Well it seems you have dealt with pissed women before. I just don't see the difference between being yelled at, slapped, accused, or having someone write on your car with lipstick???
She's just another pissed off chick. You weren't there but your car was.

Deal with her the same way you've dealt with the others. I fail to see any real problem here.

 

[sql]

Originally posted by Ice Cold
I wouldn't wipe it off the windshield I'd drive around with pride

lol

what ice cold said

 

[FFASA]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Ice Cold
I wouldn't wipe it off the windshield I'd drive around with pride

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


That is funny. Maybe I could ask her to put it back on?

"Though I doubt it, don't let the situation get violent, this happened to one of my boys only instead of lipstick on the door he got a cinder block through the windshield so be careful."

Yes, this is part of what led to me asking my questions.

"No offense bro. I wasn't referring to your past stories. I was making a reference to the fact that after wheeling so many women at the same time you haven't dealt with a pissed off chick before."

No offense taking Slickster. But I have been thinking about it, and perhaps I asked my questions in such a way that it was unclear. For the most part, I have handled angry women by ignoring them or blowing them off, unless they have wanted to talk, and then I will try to smooth things over.

I originally asked "how you might handle the situation to INCREASE the attraction of the other women who hear/see this situation?" See what I was looking for ways to "come out smelling like a rose," and avoid the broken window. Now, I mean to smooth things over, not win her back or anything like it. But maybe keep her from becoming "a bitter little b1tch obsessing about how to ruin your life."

I do believe it was the bartender. Call it a gut feel. Called her once this week. May try again next week. Now, any suggestions.

Maybe it would be shocking and C&F if I asked her to put it back on, but us a brighter shade of red?

 

[Jet Jockey]

Personally, I'd just chill and let things blow over. whoever it is, you don't want anyway, and the others, well, they will come to you and ask "if it is true" if they hear any bad mouthing. Fact is it could be any of them.

I had a buddy once in a similar situation. He didn't let it worry him too much, cuz he had a good backup plan. He had a friend that was a woman, that wasn't associated at all with the same joint. She was willing to go in there for him, and make sense of it. Pretty underhanded! He sends her in there, (planned out before hand) then a little while later, he comes in himself and sits down at HER table. Makes it obvious and so everyone else can see. He then "hits" on her in front of the other women, being obvious, but not to obvious. After about a hour looks at his watch and says oh crap, I gotta go and leaves. Then the woman friend, goes up to order a drink, and the bartender and her have this little chat about "that guy" Another woman adds her 2 cents. And so on and so on. The woman friend gets to hear just what they think, and can usually figure out who done it. She then gives you a call or meets up with you later. Thats if you want to know who done it.
Worth thinking about.

At least by knowing who it is, you can keep your eyes peeled for ms squirrely. I wouldn't trust any of them, but I wouldn't let it affect me, unless it was starting to ruin my fishing hole. If it gets that bad, find a new "fishing hole".

 

[bp1974]

He had a friend that was a woman, that wasn't associated at all with the same joint. She was willing to go in there for him, and make sense of it. Pretty underhanded! He sends her in there, (planned out before hand) then a little while later, he comes in himself and sits down at HER table. Makes it obvious and so everyone else can see. He then "hits" on her in front of the other women, being obvious, but not to obvious. After about a hour looks at his watch and says oh crap, I gotta go and leaves. Then the woman friend, goes up to order a drink, and the bartender and her have this little chat about "that guy" Another woman adds her 2 cents. And so on and so on. The woman friend gets to hear just what they think, and can usually figure out who done it. She then gives you a call or meets up with you later. Thats if you want to know who done it.
Worth thinking about.

Now this is a good idea.

 

[Austin Allegro]

Yeah, tis.
I have a female friend who does stuff like this for me from time to time. That's what I call social proof in a big way!

 

[Jet Jockey]

Glad I could help. Kinda goes along the lines of the Trojan horse theory, which is time tested. Plus it helps, you are dealing with women LOL...they love to ***** to other women about "those men" and in this case that...will be the perpertrators undoing! muhahaha!!!