wtf is wrong here?

[Cuervo666]

Here's the run down of my couple of outtings with this girl.

Day 1. It' friday and there's a party going on in the barracks, I head down to the first deck for a smoke break and this chick that I had my eye on for a while notices me and calls me over. She's pretty buzzed and I am too but mildly. So I'm like, I'm leaving in a few, I'm going down to Bourbon street if you wanna tag along do so. We leave and have a good time down there, next thing I know we're holding hands and shyt. I call a cab and we head back to base after a few hours or so. So I walk her over to her room and she inputs her cell phone number into my cell before I head back to my place.

Day 2. I wake up at about 13:00 hours to her phone call, she's like, "What are you doing?" I tell her I'm about to get in the shower and that I'll give her a call later if I have something going on and if she was up for it. So she was kool with it. We end up going to this festival that was going on not too far from base. But we're both too shyt housed to get on any of the rides, the hang over from the night before was killing us so we went back home. Later she tells me she had been wanting to get a small tattoo near her belly button and I'm like, I know a few tattoo artists, I'll take you to a shop tomorrow...

Day 3. We head down to the shop, for some reason during the wait, as she picked her tattoo she starts acting very playful with me, she was slightly punching my arm and I was lightly crushing her hand, lol. But we were both laughing. She gets her tat and we head back home. This time she suggests we go to my room. I get us some alcohol and put on a Jackass DVD, it was funny as hell and it encouraged her to be even more playful. So it's like 22:00 hours and she wants to go to sleep, So I'm like, then go. But she'd rather sleep in my bed instead of hers (hmmm, I wonder what she has in mind)...after a few minutes I join her and we start getting naked and I laid the wood to her...it was nice.

Day 4. I'm in the complex at work and she starts emailing me like crazy... Anyway...Things go on like this for like 4 more days. She's invited me to sleep with her a few times and wants me to meet her dad... After those few days it hasn't been the same. She doesn't let me sleep with her anymore, but we still go out. I always bust her balls and everything, maybe it's just time to let her go. She tells people I'm not her boyfriend when we're out together and it annoys the shyt out of me. I don't know why she's keeping me around. The only reason I see why I keep her around is because she's a hot ass bytch and I'm an average looking guy. Is there anything I can do to at least bang her one more time?...lol.

 

[JJMcLure]

Originally posted by Cuervo666
Is there anything I can do to at least bang her one more time?...lol.

Quit being so available. Pull away so that she comes chasing and gives you something to get you interested again.

Don't fvckin' hang with her all the time. Be busy, have (or at least make out) you have a life other than being around her.

 

[echo1212]

Dude this is classic... classic!! All you have to do is quit being so available, see her but NOT every day, maybe once.. twice a week, and act like you're busy and have other 'things" going on. She'll be on your jock quicker than you can say ships ahoy!!

 

[chlywly]

maybe a **** buddy is all she wants

 

[Cuervo666]

Kool, now she's like... You're sexy. It's very hard to avoid a person that lives and works on the same deck that you do. LoL, now she's following me down to the smoke deck even though she doesn't smoke, it's kinda weird the way things work. We're getting wasted tonight. Thanks for all the replies.

 

[So pimp its scary]

Originally posted by Cuervo666
Kool, now she's like... You're sexy. It's very hard to avoid a person that lives and works on the same deck that you do. LoL, now she's following me down to the smoke deck even though she doesn't smoke, it's kinda weird the way things work. We're getting wasted tonight. Thanks for all the replies.

That may be true, but that is just physical availability. Emotional distance works as well. Instead of being so excited to see her, just act a little cold... like you got something that you are contemplating, but don't tell her what it is...

She is getting pretty attached very quickly tho, that might be a red flag rising, depending on how things develop.

 

[xblitz44x]

Ok, it might be difficult to type this while I'm SLAMMING MY HEAD INTO THE DESK IN FRUSTRATION. God! It has NOTHING to do with availability! What happened was that when she fvcked you she had certain perceptions of you. Within those 4 days, her perceptions of you changed for whatever reason. You'll never know what it is because it's nothing you did "wrong". It was all in her head. After those 4 days, the thing that compelled her to fvck you, was dissolved. Therefore, there was no more attraction. It's that simple.

These "you're too available" guys would have had the SAME THING happen. It would have taken 4 days as well. But maybe instead of doing it like you did (Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday), it would have taken them Monday, Wedensday, Saturday, Tuesday. Same amount of days. The compulsion is STILL being destroyed because she is seeing you for who you are, and not what she created you to be in her mind.

Don't take it personally because there will be a lot of chicks who will enjoy who you really are. That's the REASON you shouldn't be "hiding" yourself by not being available. Be proud of who you are. And let these "DJ's" disappear and be unavailable because they are too worried that when she actually gets to know them, she won't like them.

 

[drZaius09]

Blitz, I think I'm feeling the shockwaves from your head banging the desk. I was all nodding in agreement to the first few replies stressing the "too available" theory, but then your post got me thinking...

We all know that attraction cannot be built from scratch, but it would be foolish to think that it cannot be destroyed. What you're suggesting is that her attraction for him was destroyed (or at least greatly diminished) after the sexual encounter, but through no fault of his own. Correct? Taking for granted that the ill-effects of availability probably wouldn't come to fruition until much later than just 3 or 4 days, what then could be the cause of her drastic turnaround? Is this is a function of female mentality that we are doomed to never quite comprehend?

 

[xblitz44x]

" We all know that attraction cannot be built from scratch, but it would be foolish to think that it cannot be destroyed. What you're suggesting is that her attraction for him was destroyed (or at least greatly diminished) after the sexual encounter, but through no fault of his own. Correct?" -The Doc

Well, yeah. The attraction DID come from scratch. There was no attraction for the guy before she set eyes on him; but when she did...BOOM! Attraction happened. So in a way it WAS created from scratch. The key though, is that *he* never created it. Neither did she, consciously. She created it unconsciously. Her perceptions of him, were enough to say "Hey, he's an attractive guy..." without knowing anything about him.

From here she derives all kinds of other perceptions (he's confident, he's probably funny, he's probably sweet, he's probably dominant)...all without knowing him; or even realizing she's making those assumptions to begin with. So then she finally talks to him.

She starts to get to know him. He says something "crude", so she questions "hmmm...well is he REALLY sweet afterall?" But she blows it off and keeps that perception of him. Until he does and says enough things to make her realize "Jeeze, this guy isn't the sweet guy he once was." So the attraction starts to fade. Funny thing is, he never WAS sweet to begin with. It was always in her mind.

After this guy and girl have sex, she's getting to know HIM, in reality, more and more. The more he contrasts who she originally perceived (hope for) him to be, the more the attraction gets damaged and originally fades and she feels like "he changed", or "the spark just went out." It was NEVER his fault because he didn't do anything wrong.

One woman might think a guy's actions are dominant and strong while another woman might think it is crude and insensitive. It's why this "I'm alpha" shyt has nothing to do with attraction because it takes place in HER mind based on HER perceptions and paradigm.

-Blitz

 

[Cuervo666]

Dude, this is so weird. How can she go from kissing me at the end of the night yesterday (a kiss close) to just plain being a bytch for no reason today. I'm gonna ignore her and act uninterested if she calls tonight. She's trying to toy with me, I don't like it. In fact, I think I'm gonna have to NEXT this bytch. Hmmm, maybe.

 

[Brak]

I hear ya Cuervo,
Im in the same situation. I hang with this chick all the time, and i have always been available for her. However when someone asks she is very quick to say that we are not "together".
Its almost like we are just a temporary guy to hold them over till they find that true a**hole that they all want but hate to admit it.

 

[Cuervo666]

Man, I am so pissed this morning. I really liked this girl but she acted stupid, so now it's getting all my shyt back that I left in her room and it's goodbye bytch. This is very unlike me, I don't have feelings for females, I'm not supposed to. I'm gonna get her one more time and that's it. I have someone else in mind now, she's pretty hot... I have some more drinking to do bros. F*cking loser talk... I'll get over it. Females are bipolar.

 

[Cuervo666]

Here's the way it's gonna go. I had my eye on this girl for a while, she's a hottie about an 8 or a 9. Anyway, my friend from bootcamp works in the same complex as her so I start messaging him and trying to ask for her name. I get her whole name, so obviously I can look her up in the global address book in outlook and get her e-mail address, I want her, and I'm gonna get her... How do you guys think I should approach this situation?

 

[xblitz44x]

Don't start blaming females for this. If you were in control of yourself a little more your ego wouldn't have taken such a hit. Relax. Well all know you care about the girl, it's obvious in your posts so you might as well cut the "I'm a pimp, hoes are just cumm catchers" talk because nobody is buying it. It'll do you much better to figure out why you liked this chick so much, and figure out YOUR feelings and thoughts, and insecurities..than it is to let your ego get in the way and try to pretend like you never gave a shyt to begin with. Every experience that we have, we can learn something about OURSELVES. Not "girls are bipolar"...because you can't project your perceptions onto any outside source. It all came from you...the question is, why?

 

[Eyecandie4ya]

It's true that you need to evaluate YOURSELF in regards to this situation.

To be honest, you didn't give her anything to miss.

Some I love you's, love being with you, I'm happy NOW, etc etc probably flowed from your vocals showing your desperation for this chick like a sick puppy.

"News flash"

Most women don't want a man another female don't want.

The reason I stated this is because you were too AVAILABLE. You didn't make her work, think, wonder, or miss nothing about you.

It's true you don't know why she just flip. But guess what? Humans are more GRATEFUL to something that they can't have all the time. It makes us yearn for it more. Keep that in mind for future reference.

Just my opinion.

 

[xblitz44x]

"You didn't make her work, think, wonder, or miss nothing about you. "

You don't miss what you don't want. I don't want a fat, ugly girl, whether I can' have her or not. I want this girl that I'm having sex with - and I can have her. That's why this challenge this is completely off. The reason it seems that we want what we can't have in women is because the women that we DO want, we usually DON'T have. The fact that we don't have them isn't what makes us like them. I don't have AIDs and I don't want that. The girl, for whatever reason, wasn't interested in him, maybe even from the start. You won't feel more desire to see somebody who is challenging you, if you never desired to see them in the first place.

 

[Eyecandie4ya]

Originally posted by xblitz44x
You don't miss what you don't want. I don't want a fat, ugly girl, whether I can' have her or not. I want this girl that I'm having sex with - and I can have her. That's why this challenge this is completely off. The reason it seems that we want what we can't have in women is because the women that we DO want, we usually DON'T have. The fact that we don't have them isn't what makes us like them. I don't have AIDs and I don't want that. The girl, for whatever reason, wasn't interested in him, maybe even from the start. You won't feel more desire to see somebody who is challenging you, if you never desired to see them in the first place.

You can't say that this woman didn't want him. Her actions were different in the beginning of this. It changed when my man here became sucked in like water into a sponge.

He was complaining about the broad not telling others that he is her "boyfriend" after 4 days of phucking around.

There are the "maybe's" of this but she wouldn't have introduce him to her dad if she didn't have NO INTEREST. I just don't see that happening.

I can rest assure that this was a test to see if he will do everything she demanded and he fail miserably. Too much cake is good for nobody. You have to know when to "seperate" in which he did not do.

Do she want him now? nope

Did she ever wanted him? yes, apparently or he wouldn't have spent any time with her.

Point was made.

 

[xblitz44x]

"Point was made."

What point? Your point was that him being too "available" destructed the relationship. I'm stating WHY the available shyt doesn't hold water. Her perceptions of him changed. Maybe him wanting her as his girlfriend is what dissolved a vital perception that fueled the attraction; we don't know and we never will know which perception it was. But that's not to say that EVERY girl has that same perception. Some of them might see that desire to make her his girlfriend a "cute" thing, or a "dominating" thing.

The available/challenge thing is WEAK. It doesn't stop attraction from fading and DEFINITELY doesn't increase attraction. The only thing it might do is make it take longer before she figures out who the REAL him is. Other than that, if she likes him, and he's going Doc Love Challenge on her, the response he is getting is not 'increased interest', it is her thinking something is wrong because you're acting like a damn flake for no reason. She thinks "God, this guy doesn't get it...I like him, I guess I'll have to make it more obvious so that he doesn't split". So she shows a little more that she's attracted. That's IT. That's all you're going to get from it.

Be confident that who you are is good, and that you don't have to hide it from anybody in the name of interest level.

 

[chlywly]

How about "WHO GIVES A F*ck" it happened, move on to the next one and stop waisting your brain power and time trying to figure it all out, you CAN'T!

 

[Eyecandie4ya]

Originally posted by xblitz44x
What point? Your point was that him being too "available" destructed the relationship. I'm stating WHY the available shyt doesn't hold water. Her perceptions of him changed. Maybe him wanting her as his girlfriend is what dissolved a vital perception that fueled the attraction; we don't know and we never will know which perception it was. But that's not to say that EVERY girl has that same perception. Some of them might see that desire to make her his girlfriend a "cute" thing, or a "dominating" thing.

You think she wanted him to be her boyfriend after 4 days?

So you don't think that he did anything to this broad to make her change her mind? Reality point: This wasn't a relationship to begin with! but she had some interest in the man. But you are right about one thing and that is the "main reason" why she don't want him. The point I was making was that he added fuel to the fire behaving like a whipped chump.

The available/challenge thing is WEAK. It doesn't stop attraction from fading and DEFINITELY doesn't increase attraction.

Take a poll of females who dated a guy that was a challenge to them. Reality shows that they're more grateful for something that they have to chase a little to get what they want instead of it being handed to them. That's just the way it is.

The only thing it might do is make it take longer before she figures out who the REAL him is. Other than that, if she likes him, and he's going Doc Love Challenge on her, the response he is getting is not 'increased interest', it is her thinking something is wrong because you're acting like a damn flake for no reason. She thinks "God, this guy doesn't get it...I like him, I guess I'll have to make it more obvious so that he doesn't split". So she shows a little more that she's attracted. That's IT. That's all you're going to get from it.

No one is saying to be something that you're not. What most were saying on this thread is the attention drowning this cat gave this female was not necessary. You're are applying that she never like him, which is not true. It's true that she once had interested in him and now it's gone.

Time to move on.