WTF is up with my friend???

[Zapp Brannigan]

For years my friend has been trying to get me to chase chick after chick. What I mean is he goes from saying "You should ask her out man," about one girl, to "You need to chase her" with another.

He has VERY bad and different taste than I do. The ones who he wants me to chase are always trouble, he likes the snobbish high maintenance wh0res, and he pretty much said that once. Usually what happens is I get fed up with him nagging me, and I tell him why I won't chase the chick. Then almost immediately after he starts nagging me about another one who's the same way.

There's this one from a couple years back. He swore up and down she was in love with me, and at first I thought she may have been interested. Right after my first real conversation with her, I had a bad impression, but wasn't completely sure. Long story short I find out she was a phony, manipulative, s**t starting, attention wh0re. One who despite just recently getting married is still out chasing di*k like crazy.

Unfortunately I still see the b**ch around, and my friend knows this. A couple months back he came to me almost stunned because he saw her with a boyfriend . I then told him everything I knew about this chick, and he couldn't fvcking believe it. But he acts like he always knew she was bad, but he didn't. He told me once how she was the type you introduce to family and show off :crackup:

Anyway, it was about two months back I told him what I knew about her, and he's starting to ask about her again. He's asked me twice within the past week. The first time he was pretending to sound almost mad like "you see that one b**ch anymore?" Then today he was asking like he was really curious, and cared to know.

I just don't get it. Why is he still asking me about this slvt? He's married and wouldn't chase her or anything, so it isn't that. But how should I respond if he asks again?

 

[Zapp Brannigan]

He's a bit older than me, and is generally fun to be around. The only time he's ever unsufferable is when trying to get me to chase women.

You know the random chicks who hit on every guy they see? The one's who are usually crazy? He swares those types are all "in love" with you if they express interest, and he'll try to pressure me into chasing them. I can't stand it whenever he tries to give "girl advice."

Once he actually told me how I needed to find the neighborhood that the attention wh0re that "loved" me lived, and just drive around until finding her house. Then randomly knock on the door. After telling him how bats**t crazy that idea was, he still acted like it was good.

But thankfully he hasn't been as bad about that in recent months.

 

[BeenLaiden]

For years my friend has been trying to get me to chase chick after chick. What I mean is he goes from saying "You should ask her out man," about one girl, to "You need to chase her" with another.

He has VERY bad and different taste than I do. The ones who he wants me to chase are always trouble, he likes the snobbish high maintenance wh0res, and he pretty much said that once. Usually what happens is I get fed up with him nagging me, and I tell him why I won't chase the chick. Then almost immediately after he starts nagging me about another one who's the same way.

There's this one from a couple years back. He swore up and down she was in love with me, and at first I thought she may have been interested. Right after my first real conversation with her, I had a bad impression, but wasn't completely sure. Long story short I find out she was a phony, manipulative, s**t starting, attention wh0re. One who despite just recently getting married is still out chasing di*k like crazy.

Unfortunately I still see the b**ch around, and my friend knows this. A couple months back he came to me almost stunned because he saw her with a boyfriend . I then told him everything I knew about this chick, and he couldn't fvcking believe it. But he acts like he always knew she was bad, but he didn't. He told me once how she was the type you introduce to family and show off :crackup:

Anyway, it was about two months back I told him what I knew about her, and he's starting to ask about her again. He's asked me twice within the past week. The first time he was pretending to sound almost mad like "you see that one b**ch anymore?" Then today he was asking like he was really curious, and cared to know.

I just don't get it. Why is he still asking me about this slvt? He's married and wouldn't chase her or anything, so it isn't that. But how should I respond if he asks again?

Sounds like your friend is trying to use you as his guinea pig. He may like the chicks he wants YOU to go after and is using you to try and see how they react because he's too scared to approach and go after them himself especially since you said he likes the same types he's trying to get you to chase. He wants to live vicariously through you to test out his "knowledge" without putting himself on the line while he hides as being married.

I know a few dudes like that. They can't or won't go after those same chicks they want you to go after (being married or taken or scared to) but at the same time think in their minds that being friends with you (meaning if you are their friend they are equal in getting the same chicks) somehow would get THEM the same results if they were to do what they told you too. It's a coward with a good "excuse" who wants to live vicariously through you for his own self-gratification and if you keep failing they not only didn't take the risks themselves, but they can secretly feel "better" about themselves than you as they are taken and "wanted", not single like you, and get some drama and things to talk about while deluding themselves they'd get different results if ONLY they were single.

Go after who YOU want. Otherwise you are just being a pawn in whatever game they are playing in their minds to make themselves feel good and not have to take the risks, while giving them the feeling they are "better" than you because things didn't work out and it "would have" for them. They won't admit it either. They'll simply hide behind behind wanting to "help" you and "doing a good deed" even IF things work out they can claim THEY got you that certain girl.

Thank them and go for who YOU feel like.

 

[piranha45]

Dude ur Zap Brannigan. Your friend is just Kif. Act accordingly.

 

[Tictac]

Some people enjoy watching other people get into train wrecks.

They get to watch and even cheer you on while you live it and deal with the consequences. Endless, painless entertainment for them. For you, not so much.

You have no obligation to provide such entertainment for anyone. Your life, your happiness is way more important.

 

[BeenLaiden]

Some people enjoy watching other people get into train wrecks.

They get to watch and even cheer you on while you live it and deal with the consequences. Endless, painless entertainment for them. For you, not so much.

You have no obligation to provide such entertainment for anyone. Your life, your happiness is way more important.

Exactly my point. These same people will do it pretending to be "helping" you while using you as a lab rat to experiment with for their own amusement.

Thank them for their "concerns" and do what you want to do going after who you want.

 

[DragonBlood]

"you see that one b**ch anymore?" Then today he was asking like he was really curious, and cared to know.

I just don't get it. Why is he still asking me about this slvt? He's married and wouldn't chase her or anything, so it isn't that. But how should I respond if he asks again?

I get it. I had a friend like this. You are a source of drama for them, they enjoy your stories and use you for entertainment. The biggest mistake is that you have a pair of balls and want to improve yourself. This is very entertaining to watch! Much like having control of a super hero in a video game.

Regarding my friend who was cheering me off the cliff. He was an all round nice and very likable guy, married too actually to the first girl he met. But over time it became obvious that he was cowardly and really was sabotaging myself and the friendship unknowingly, and that the difference in our confidence was slowly creating a rift. He appeared more like a gaggling hen (observe, all bs talk, drama, and no action) rather than someone I could rely on if I needed him to put his neck out. Some people are like this. They are pretty inconsequential overall, so I dont take anything they have to say to heart.

I have three pieces of advice for you and your friend.

1. Ask him to wing with you if its situational. Make it your idea, and ONLY on the girls YOU find attractive. (duh! right, how could he say no to that.) Remind him he doesnt have to go all the way! This will shut him up alot. He may even feel embarrassed to hang around you at the possibility of this happening. Thats what started happening to me, the guy would purposely dive out of the group hours before it was time to hit the bar/club. Call the bastard out of the sidelines. Ive winged with married guys before, this guy is a tool if he thinks that is an excuse to hide behind and not actually want to help a friend! I would totally wing if I was married. Full outcome independence. He is either on your team, or hes wasting your time. Dont give him his shield. Helping you is not "cheating" or whatever bull**** he wants to play. I tried to get this guy to wing with me over and over, I was so excited and pumped to share the other side of the reality which he seemed so interested in... but he never was available. Shocker.

Friend: "So hows the dating life going? Any news???"
You: "Not too bad, I could really use a wing, I would love to hit the bars with you this weekend".
Friend: ...


2. See the friend less often

3. If the general subject comes up during the day, tell him you are focusing on a work or personal project and have put that "on the shelf" for a couple of months. How boring! That Zapp would be focusing on improving other areas of his life instead of fueling a bottomless pit of misery and consequences for his friend to watch! The horror!

 

[G_Govan]

Similar to yannick43, I believe it's jealousy.

I've found that guys who constantly ask about your sex life or tell you "you need to chase so & so" are actually jealous of you.

I had a "friend" who would do this. They're usually insecure about who they're with and how they measure up to the women you happen to be with. Giving you unsolicited advice. Make no mistake they want to see you fail to raise their own self esteem.

No dude honestly gives a f-ck about how another guy gets his d-ck wet unless he himself is unhappy and/or is envious of you.