WTF? Girl I NEXTed contacts me after one whole month!

[duke007]

She was a bit too immature and inexperienced for my liking so after two casual dates, I never called her back even though I said I would... We never kissed or anything.

Tonight at 9pm, one full month later she text messages me saying, "Hey, what are you doing now? I'm watching football but it's boring because blah blah blah"

I take this as ******** for "I want to see you tonight", but I was already out with friends. Can't this girl get the message?

I replied to the message to be polite but I'm not sure what to do next. The thing that bugs me about this is that it was a difficult decision to next her.

I Nexted because I didn't want to lead her on. I don't want an LTR and she definitely strikes me as someone who does. Now I have to deal with the moral dilemma again! The pvssy is tempting but I don't want to break this girl's heart.

 

[Ice Cold]

Dude - you can make her an LTR fukk buddy. They're not that fragile for you to care about "breaking her heart"

Take the pvssy

 

[duke007]

That would be ideal, but do virgins with protective parents make good fukk buddies?

 

[jama]

Hi.
You are a very good position man. You showed her that you have a life. You showed her that she isn’t that important to you. AWESOME. This is what we call “HOW TO ATTRACT THE GIRLS”.

You gave her a space to think about you, and after ONE MONTH, she called, I LIKE THIS. She was thinking about you the whole time. When you didn’t call, she realizes: that you are different, that you have a life, that you are not needy, etc. Believe me, I do this all the time, and it works like wonders. Congrats man

Even though you didn’t mentioned anything about your message, go out with her again. Don’t worry about what she is thinking about you, WHO CARES. Just go out with her and make sure that she is having a good time. Teas her like a hell in a funny way, bust on her and act that you’re there to have a good time.

I believe that you know what you are doing. And to me, i never care if they get hurt or not. i just want to have a good time and sex. When i get it, THEN NEXT HER.

Hope it helps.
Good luck.

 

[drmeathead]

Dude,

I disagree with those guys. You need to be straight forward with her. Sure go out with her. Sure have fun but if after a date or two she is still the same girl you nexted then you need to tell her it just isnt going to work. But who knows maybe she just wants you for sex.

Also dont leave her hanging. Dont tell her you are going to call and dont. Be a man about things. Guys hate it when girls do that kinda sutff to them. Dont sink to that level.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

I And to me, i never care if they get hurt or not. i just want to have a good time and sex. When i get it, THEN NEXT HER.

That dosen't sound too DJish to me. Sounds like a manipulative chump who thinks of people as toys.


Anyways, duke, if you think that she truly will start to care about you and want a real relationship, then don't persue it. It would be a totally different story if she just wanted the same thing that you want...but even YOU tell us that this is not the case.

Be straight up and tell her what you want. I mean you don't have to straight up tell her what you're about. Just let it out in trinkets, y'know?

I had to make a decision like this a year or so ago. This girl was pretty much in love with me, but I didn't see her as girlfriend material. (I wasn't looking for a girlfriend at that time in the first place) She was a HB7. She started seducing me later on and tried to get in my pants a few times.

We made out a few times, but I told her straight up that I wasn't looking for anyone. She understood, but her body and emotions were NOT listening. I finally had to just back off, because I knew that if I fucked her that I was going to hurt her. No matter what she said, she wanted me to be in a LTR with her.


You're in control now, Duke. You have power. It's up to you to be responsible. Maybe she does just want to fuck you. *shrugs* Get more details before making a drastic move. Go out with her and try to get out of her what she really wants.


Remember: People arent' toys. Where they are ignorant, you are wise. That's a certain kind of power alot of DJs hold over people. Right?

Just be careful. ^_~

 

[fukuy]

i agree with Jama. Just go f*ck that p*ssy man. the more p*ssy you get = the more DJish you are. Who cares about her feeling anyway?

 

[coldcoal]

A month is a long time where many things can happen. Tell her you're with someone else now, "kind of". Become forbidden fruit, and play it from there as you wish.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

Originally posted by fukuy
i agree with Jama. Just go f*ck that p*ssy man. the more p*ssy you get = the more DJish you are. Who cares about her feeling anyway?

Wow. You're really posting in the wrong site. That's not a real definition of a DJ.

Edit: Who cares about her feelings? You should care if she wants to give you that as well besides her body. If you're not accepting both when she wants you to accept both, you are using her. That is wrong. If you hurt someone purposefully, that is wrong.

Thus, it's not DJ at all. Genius.

 

[Ice Cold]

Originally posted by ThunderMaverick
That dosen't sound too DJish to me.

Ok, so what? He still can fukk her. The girl wants him - he wants the girl. Who the fukk are you to come in and say that he shouldn't hit it?

That would be ideal, but do virgins with protective parents make good fukk buddies?

They do. If you provide a suitable environment...

You need to care for her image in society - so that she doesn't look like a slut. You need to isolate her and make her comfortable when you two are alone.

Once you do that - it's all good game. She still looks nice and innocent to the rest of the world, and at the same time you're fukkin her.

Whoever is against him going for it has a perceived understanding of women's expectation. She doesn't expect him to marry her. She knows it won't have to work out. She knows it can end after 3 months.

ThunderMaverick - why are you so obscessed about her being hurt?

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by fukuy
i agree with Jama. Just go f*ck that p*ssy man. the more p*ssy you get = the more DJish you are. Who cares about her feeling anyway?

I'm sure you lead a rich, fascinating life.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

Who the fuck are you to come in and say that he shouldn't hit it?


You're contradicting yourself, Icy. If I can't come in and say who he shouldn't fuck, then you can't come in and say who he can fuck. He posted to ask for advice--from all around. Not just YOU'RE suggestions. Don't be so selfish now. I'm giving him a piece of what he asked for.

Plus she might have a percieved idea about HIM.



I'll quote myself again from an experience I went through that he might go through:

She understood, but her body and emotions were NOT listening. I finally had to just back off, because I knew that if I fucked her that I was going to hurt her. No matter what she said, she wanted me to be in a LTR with her.



You know how irrational girls, especially young girls can be. It's up to us to take control.

Dammit. I don't know what to say...
I guess. I've been used a few times...in more ways than one. I was ignorant. I thought I might have been in love. I thought that maybe she liked me for me and really cared for me. But all she did was want to fuck me. That would have been nice if that's all I wanted.

But I wanted more. And after realizing that that was all she wanted, I was bewildered and hurt. People told me what she wanted, but I didn't listen. MY EMOTIONS blinded me.

I wouldn't want anyone to go through what I and a close people I knew went through. Male.Female. I dosen't matter what sex you are. No one likes to be used.

A women is 10x more driven on emotion than rationallity. So yes, if she's expecting more from him and all he does is suck up her emotions by fucking her, without giving back what she expects in return, it will drain her. It will hurt her. And you WILL leave a scar. Don't doubt that for one second.


Let me quote myself again:



Maybe she does just want to fuck you. *shrugs* Get more details before making a drastic move. Go out with her and try to get out of her what she really wants.

 

[Tails]

i totally agree with ThunderMaverick. you're not human if you're deliberately hurting a girls feelings. that's really uncool. i was in your same shoes ThunderMaverick. i use to get hurt alot. and i meant ALOT. i fell for ever girl i'd meet so fast i didn't know it. friends would tell me the truth which i never wanted to believe. my emotions took over. and i got hurt. i learnt alot from all that.

last year, i met a girl on the train, i gave her my number, she called two days later, we met up, went to see a movie, cuddled a little, kissed. the next day, i asked her straight up. "what do you want from me? what is it you're after between us?"

she replied with: "relationship."

i had to tell her the truth that i didn't want a relationship. she offered to be friends and have casual sex. i agreed. now you see, this was perfect. this way we knew that we wouldn't get hurt because we knew what we both wanted.

so that is the LEAST you could do. tell her what you want! don't just sit there leading her on. that's really cruel. often, it's guys like that who turn the girls into down right stuck up b|tches. let's stop this

 

[duke007]

Excellent advice everybody, but no need to get all emotional abou it! I can see the positives in both sides of the argument, but I think it's wrong to just go for a f*ck like a jerk.

I'll call her up and ask her out for something safe...like lunch, which will allow me to gauge what she thinks of me and see if she has changed in anyway. Who knows? Maybe if she's been thinking about me this long she's taken steps to be more appealing.

If she's the same child as before, I'll next again. If not I'll let her know that I'm not after any long term relationships. I could say soemthing like, "That doesn't mean we can't continue to see each other on a semi-regular basis."

Does that imply my intentions for fukk buddy status? Unlike Tails example, it's hard to see a virgin bringing it up.

All I need though is some way of controlling the conversation so that I can judge her preparedness for a sexual relationship. How do you think I can go about this?

thanks everyone

 

[Tails]

she's a virgin and you wanna just sex her and leave her? if she is, do not even think about touching her. leave her the hell alone. you'll destroy her man! if i'm wrong, forgive me.

 

[duke007]

ahh crap that is a very timely warning. How come I always get these little issues to deal with in my DJing? I've NEVER had a straightforward scenario where everything went smoothly to my liking.

I can't believe this is the second chance I have to to lose my virginity and I'll have to let it slip again...

 

[Tails]

dude, i'm confused. who's the virgin here? if you are, and she isn't, then hell, go for it, she'll teach you something. same deal happened to me. very experienced 22 year old bisexual, ex model, HB hit on me, i hit back. wham bam, thank you mam. that was it. but like i said before, if she wants a relationship and you don't. leave her alone bro. it's the right thing to do.

 

[duke007]

we're both virgins. Well I'm almost 99% sure she is, and my friends agree.

 

[Ice Cold]

Originally posted by Tails
it's the right thing to do.

Who defines the right thing here?

I think we're arguing over the definition of a fukk buddy.

I think you think ( ) that a fukkbuddy is some girl you come in, fukk without saying a word, wipe your dikk on the curtain and then leave.

I am saying he should do something like that with her. He can still fukk her for 3-4 months, cuddle, go out, enjoy your time and show that you care about her.

On a deeper level you should know that she's just a fukk buddy and you're not intrested in being with her for too long.

WTF is wrong with that? By doing so you enrich the life and give experience to both duke007 and the girl. They're both happy etc...

Do you think that virgin will stay with him if somebody better comes along? HA!

 

[Tails]

that's a good point you got goin' on there icey brotha.

that's alright then if you put it that way. you will both learn from each other. but damn, both virgins? good luck to you my friend. you will have to make ALL the moves since she is a virgin too. it's usually easier when the girl isn't a virgin - more easy going. you never know, you might even have a LTR with this girl. you won't know until you try. just play it slow and cool. don't do any lovey dovey things that couples do. like icey said, hang out, go see movies, cuddle, kiss. do things friends do. i had the same situation a while ago. only she wasn't a virgin. but she did question the love part. i told her: "look, you're having fun with me right? we're still friends, no matter what. as long as you're having fun, there's no problem." and that is all it is. fun! just make sure she doesn't fall in love with you. unless you fall for her