Wreckless's Approach Journal (From Dud to Stud)

[WrEcKLeSS2000]

Alright, the time has come to get the show on the road. I've been here for about 4 1/2 years and I have made no progress but that is about to change. I haven't posted much in recent years but now I am in my 3rd year in college and it is time to take action. My journey of making friends and getting a girlfriend has just begun today. I will be approaching every school day and will report back here once it is done.

My first approach occurred today.

I opened up a set of 3 girls who were sitting and talking to each other.

Me: Hey, I need directions to a building
1 of the girls: sure

I got the directions and built on that

Me: So what are you all majoring in?

Them: yada yada yada

Me: are any of you in clubs?

Them: no,no,no

That did suck

Me: Well I'm (Wreckless)

Them:Hi, I'm so and so, I don't even remember their names haha

Me: Well nice to meet you all

That is it, I didn't number close and I probably should have. All of them were actually nice too. one of them was really hot, the other 2 were average.

One thing is for sure, I felt SO GOOD after talking with them and making the approach. The feeling wore off after a bit.

Next time I will number close no matter what as long as they aren't *****es. Anyway, I'm going to update this everyday after I approach. Tomorrow I'm planning on it, so I should be back with news.

 

[Charm]

Great job getting out there and starting your approach journal. I do approaches every singe week and it pays off. It really is a numbers game and you win some you lose some but you always learn some.

 

[~attrACTION~]

Awesome. I am attempting something similar to you: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=114725

Nice job on having the confidence to approach. I have been a little hesitant with approaches, especially on campus, but I will start approaching very soon as well.

Good luck. I will be reading your thread for motivation, and I hope you succeed with your goals.

 

[Microphone Fiend]

I got this on my subscribed threads so lets see it man

 

[hardwork]

Finally!

That is it, I didn't number close and I probably should have.

You and I have had (seemingly) endless conversations on AIM, and the one thing I've consistently told you for the last few months is that not every situation is a number close situation.

Please take this to heart, Wreckless and everyone else who reads this: NOT EVERY situation calls for a number close. It is SO EASY to kill any attraction (or, if you prefer, "nice feelings") you've built with a ham-handed, "So, what's your number?" BAM: You're instantly relegated to the category of "Just another guy who only talked to me for my number."

And one last word on number closes: NEVER eject after you get her number. Getting her number IS NOT an okay to stop talking to her and her friends and bug out. Keeping talking after you get the number makes it seem like you're a normal guy that likes to socialize, not some skeezy guy who talks to girls to get numbers.

Other than that, the way you started conversation was great: simple, easy, and something that any semi-nice person would talk to you about. Further, the transition from your opener into chit-chat was great: you actually did it!

 

[Babnik]

You and I have had (seemingly) endless conversations on AIM, and the one thing I've consistently told you for the last few months is that not every situation is a number close situation.

Please take this to heart, Wreckless and everyone else who reads this: NOT EVERY situation calls for a number close. It is SO EASY to kill any attraction (or, if you prefer, "nice feelings") you've built with a ham-handed, "So, what's your number?" BAM: You're instantly relegated to the category of "Just another guy who only talked to me for my number."

And one last word on number closes: NEVER eject after you get her number. Getting her number IS NOT an okay to stop talking to her and her friends and bug out. Keeping talking after you get the number makes it seem like you're a normal guy that likes to socialize, not some skeezy guy who talks to girls to get numbers.

Other than that, the way you started conversation was great: simple, easy, and something that any semi-nice person would talk to you about. Further, the transition from your opener into chit-chat was great: you actually did it!

No, it means you are BALD in your actions and let her know you want her, rather than going in circles!

 

[hardwork]

I actually have plenty of hair.

No, it means you are BALD in your actions and let her know you want her, rather than going in circles!

If by "bald" you mean "bold," then by "bold" you mean "overbearing": I will bet you money that any girl that's on the hotter-end of whatever rating scale you do or do not use has been approached thousands of times in her lifetime. They have built autopilot responses to sh*t like, "Hey, lemme get your number," and they will blow you out with that crap faster than you can possibly fathom.

Think about how many times someone has called your name to get your attention. Do you even think about it any more? I doubt it. I bet you instantly look towards the voice without even thinking about it. That's an autopilot response you've built over years and years of conditioning that looking towards the voice is what you should do.

How many strangers have greeted you at all? A nod, a wave, a "Hi"? If you go outside at all, again, it's hundreds and hundreds of nameless, faceless people you don't remember—because you gave them a canned, autopilot response.

It's the same thing for girls hearing "What's your number?"—they go into an automatic state that's been conditioned into them after years of having to rebuff the run-of-the-mill boring, unattractive guy.

You know what, though, Babnik? If #closing every girl works for you, keep doing it. No, I take that back: Teach me your trick, then keep doing it. Because #closing every chick I talked to for a month got me something on the order of 2 wrong numbers, 3 girls who didn't remember me, 3 girls who didn't answer their phones and/or I got the voicemail and no call back, and 14 girls who straight flaked on me. How many dates did I go on that month? Not counting dates with my hand, a whopping zero.

Number closing every girl does not work for me. Now, number closing the girls I'm doing pretty well with, getting the number in passing, and keeping the rapport built until I do actually need to leave—that's what works for me.

 

[JPFromTally]

NEVER eject after you get her number. Getting her number IS NOT an okay to stop talking to her and her friends and bug out. Keeping talking after you get the number makes it seem like you're a normal guy that likes to socialize, not some skeezy guy who talks to girls to get numbers.

I completely disagree with this. There's no easier way to get a number than to say, "Hey, I've got a million things I gotta do so I gotta run. Let me get your number so we can hang out later."

Overstaying your welcome seems needy and awkward.

 

[hardwork]

Overstaying your welcome seems needy and awkward.

You're right: overstaying is needy and awkward—but keeping a conversation going that's mutually enthralling for both parties is not. If you get her number and mill around with your hands in your pockets, then, yeah, you're needy and awkward.

And there's nothing wrong, JP, with "Hey, I need to run": I've personally used it a bundle of times, and it really can work. But expecting yourself to number close every girl is asinine. Expecting them to want to hang out with you after you left them with "Hey, thanks for your number, bye" doesn't work for me.

 

[WrEcKLeSS2000]

Approach of the day

Hey everyone, I made an approach today. Here's how it went at my campus college.

Me:Hey I need directions

Her: ok sure..(Gives directions)

Me: so you know of any activities on campus, I'm new here and I would like to get to meet new people...

Heron't know...

Me: so do you live in the area

Her:Yeah I commute

Me:Cool, so do I

At this point, I felt a good vibe, she was making eye contact and smiling

Here's where it went downhill

Me: So what do you normally do on the weekends?

Her: Oh I hang out with my b/f and some other friends

at this point, i was boiling inside, but i kept my cool, and continued talking like it didn't bother me, and I kept smiling...

Me:So anyway, it was nice meeting you, i'll cya around...

That was it, I was pissed afterwards but I realized that it's her loss, and I'm proud of myself that I approached...

I just really want to get a date already but it is a bit frusterating....

Anyway, I might do some approaches at the mall today, so I'll report back if I do.

Tomorrow, I will for sure at my campus.

 

[WrEcKLeSS2000]

On campus

I approached a set of 2. I asked if there were any parties going on. They didn't know

Me:Any parties going on?
Them:No,

Me:What are you all doing 2nite?

Her: Up not much we have to get up all early

THe convo actually lasted more than this. I was making small talk, saying I was new to the college and what not. I was smiling and enjoying myself, trying to not come off as nervous.

The girls weren't that hot at all. But it was decent practice.

 

[WrEcKLeSS2000]

I think I am being too nice. I don't want girls to make me their girlfriend. Is there a balance I should try for?? Maybe a cross between nice guy and jerk. I want to be sosuave. Cool, confident, laid back, and in control.

 

[WrEcKLeSS2000]

I made another approach at my campus last night, Nothing much just asked some girls if there were any parties going on. A set of 3. Then I asked what they were doing, and they were actually on their way to eat so they were in a hurry and just left. Not a bad note. All of them were ugly but practice anyway.

I'm going to try do some more building rapport approaches and number close as well. I know it is not necessary every time but I want to get to that point.

 

[Raikojo17]

If by "bald" you mean "bold," then by "bold" you mean "overbearing": I will bet you money that any girl that's on the hotter-end of whatever rating scale you do or do not use has been approached thousands of times in her lifetime. They have built autopilot responses to sh*t like, "Hey, lemme get your number," and they will blow you out with that crap faster than you can possibly fathom.

Think about how many times someone has called your name to get your attention. Do you even think about it any more? I doubt it. I bet you instantly look towards the voice without even thinking about it. That's an autopilot response you've built over years and years of conditioning that looking towards the voice is what you should do.

How many strangers have greeted you at all? A nod, a wave, a "Hi"? If you go outside at all, again, it's hundreds and hundreds of nameless, faceless people you don't remember—because you gave them a canned, autopilot response.

It's the same thing for girls hearing "What's your number?"—they go into an automatic state that's been conditioned into them after years of having to rebuff the run-of-the-mill boring, unattractive guy.

You know what, though, Babnik? If #closing every girl works for you, keep doing it. No, I take that back: Teach me your trick, then keep doing it. Because #closing every chick I talked to for a month got me something on the order of 2 wrong numbers, 3 girls who didn't remember me, 3 girls who didn't answer their phones and/or I got the voicemail and no call back, and 14 girls who straight flaked on me. How many dates did I go on that month? Not counting dates with my hand, a whopping zero.

Number closing every girl does not work for me. Now, number closing the girls I'm doing pretty well with, getting the number in passing, and keeping the rapport built until I do actually need to leave—that's what works for me.

works for me too. if you dont get the number, than they're not into you in the first place. no amount of talking to her will change that.

 

[hardwork]

Psyneh
Thinking about sex = Horniness = Adrenaline = Fear

(Which is taken out of context, but the general formula applies directly to what I'm about to tell you.)

For the love of Christ, stop casting judgment on each individual girl's "hottness"! This is going to staunch your progress more than you realize. When you start seeing girls as "ugly and unapproachable" instead of "another person to charm," you're giving yourself permission not to approach the girls and groups of girls who aren't up to your bull-sh*t "standards." You're in no position to have standards at this stage in the game—and standards are bad juju anyway.

I keep telling you to approach everyone, guys included: if you can't walk away from talking to a guy without him thinking you're cool, how are you going to pull it off with girls? and mixed sets? Bollocks to whether they're "hot" or not, man. Practice is everywhere, all the time.

 

[hardwork]

Psyneh
Thinking about sex = Horniness = Adrenaline = Fear

(Which is taken out of context, but the general formula applies directly to what I'm about to tell you.)

For the love of Christ, stop casting judgment on each individual girl's "hottness"! This is going to staunch your progress more than you realize. When you start seeing girls as "ugly and unapproachable" instead of "another person to charm," you're giving yourself permission not to approach the girls and groups of girls who aren't up to your bull-sh*t "standards." You're in no position to have standards at this stage in the game—and standards are bad juju anyway.

I keep telling you to approach everyone, guys included: if you can't walk away from talking to a guy without him thinking you're cool, how are you going to pull it off with girls? and mixed sets? Bollocks to whether they're "hot" or not, man. Practice is everywhere, all the time. Don't ever just mindlessly talk to anyone, don't go through everyday commonplace interactions with people on autopilot.

Example: Starbucks
Person behind the counter: "47¢ and $6 is your change."
You: "Oh, my god! You and I are, like, the only people in the WORLD who give back the change first, then the cash."
PBtC: "Haha. O rly?"
You: "Yeah—you know what I mean? They give you the cash, and set the change on top, and you go to put it all away, and the change falls off, and you look like a dumbass trying to pick it up and you're holding up the line?"
PBtC: "OMFG, yeah, I HATE that!"
You: "Me, too! Thanks for doing it the right way! Pound it." — You hold out your fist, the person gives you a pound, and bam: You just made someone's day.

I know it goes like that, because I was once the PBtC, and that interaction made my freaking week.

And it's the same deal with anyone you have any interaction. I mean, if you can't make normal, everyday (read: small, inconsequential) interactions with anyone at any time at least one iota better, how do you think you're going to have the skills to make a mixed 6-set think you're the Man?

 

[Microphone Fiend]

works for me too. if you dont get the number, than they're not into you in the first place. no amount of talking to her will change that.

that defeatist attitude wont get you anywhere. Seduction is about gettin people to do what you want them to, NOT finding people who already want you.

Anyways, Wreckless, you sound like that guy from the Jackass movie who runs around naked and dances, lol. Stop asking people if they know where tha party is. Observational openers are much better and much more engaging for the target. Nice to see you out there, but dont get content with the same opener over and over. Push the limits man.

 

[Heyjose25points]

Hey Wreckless...good job so far with the approaching. Hey, if "Where are the parties at?" opener is working good so far, u should stick with it. Another thing u should do it direct with lones, its hard...YES...but atleast u'll its simpler and u'll get more relaxed approaching since u'd be use to it.

 

[Brak86]

Another thing u should do it direct with lones, its hard...YES...but atleast u'll its simpler and u'll get more relaxed approaching since u'd be use to it.

really? I thought direct was the least nerve-wracking and situational the most. Im weird though. :nervous:

 

[WrEcKLeSS2000]

New approach

Today at my college campus i had some success. This hot blonde girl in my class actually came up to me today and asked for directions. This is sort of funny because that is the opener I used a couple girls in the past week lol. She seemed legit though because she needed to find the library. Anyway, I continued the conversation and it lasted for several good minutes. I made her laugh a couple times and I tried to be laid back. I was nervous at first but I settled.

It was funny because I was going to open her literally like a second after she talked to me.

Turns out we have the same major and obviously are in the same class. The convo went like this...

Her: "hey can you tell me where the library is"

Me: sure

Me:So what is your major

Her:Business

Me: cool me too, what other classes are you taking?

Her:blah blah blah

Me: so what kind of activities do you do around campus?

Her: Oh i dont get involved with anything around here

Me: Do you know alot of people

Her:not too many

During the course of this convo, i got her laughing a little bit

Anyway, that was it, we got to the library, so I got her name of course and introduced myself. She did recognize me from class.

Anyway I will see her again on Thursday. I want to build some more rapport and go out with her eventually..

There is always this deep rooted fear that either A. She has a b/f..or B. she will only see me as a nice guy friend. This is happened like all the time, so that's why it is always on my mind.. I know it is a terrible mindset.

So any advice on how to handle this girl? I am definitely interested. We have the same major and she seems nice.