wow, revelation on the role b*tches play in our lives

[joekerr31]

ok gents, had a revelation tonight that just may change entirely the way i see the woman population. figured id post in case it helps anyone thinking about similar ideas.

over the years ive always had a penchant for b*tches. Never really known why.

so i got to thinking about what a b*tch really is? and you know it comes down to a very very simple definition. A b*tch is a woman who 1) sees herself as a perpetual victim and 2) hates (blames) men.

when i realized this, i realized that strangely enough my mother has both these traits. She's one of hte nicest women in a social environment, but when she gets upset and lets her inner thoughts come out she expresses herself as a victim. and when she speak of men she speaks of them in a polite but derogatory type manner.

this got me to thinking, i bet a good 70% of men out there (if not more) have similar mothers. I mean, think about it, these women were able to trap some AFC (our fathers) and hold onto them and our fathers took their crap.

hey, im sure lots of folks out there had great caring mothers who don't victimize themselves and don't talk negatively about men, so for those of you do, don't go slamming me for this post i know this sounds a bit 'wuss' like. im not blaming my mother for anything, just explaining how various social conditioning has lead to a pesrpective on women.

but heres the revelation. I've had TONS of very cute, very nice women interested in my over the years. Yet I rarely gave them much thought. I've always ended up with the selfish beauties.

why? my revelation comes down to this. IT'S WHAT IVE ALWAYS KNOWN.

it is what I had for a model growing up of what a woman is suppose to be like. sweet on the outside, bitter on the inside.

i think it took a LONG time to see this because i'm not a big fan of that 'your a product of your childhood' chit. but its hard to explain, but it really explains a lot.

I realized that i've been sabotaging myself in my choice of women because of what i associate a "woman" as being.

there's this stunning cutey that i know who is shy and very caring. she's been macking on me and i've been hardly paying her much attention.

it's time to break the cycle and start dating the man-lovers out there, instead of the man-haters.

oh a couple thoughts on the whole b*tch/manhaters thing. I think a lot of these "b*tches" really don't want a man at all. I think they want validation of their "victim" idealogy and i think they want to make men feel as victimized as they do.

i honestly think a lot of these women, regardless of how nice they seem on the outside, have so much repressed anger that they need to let it out on someone. And i think that they know that only some love-sick AFC will put up with their emotional abuse and manipulation.

i don't know guys, this feels like a milestone moment in my life. NO MORE B*TCHES for me.

and the thing that im so jazzed about is that in a wierd way, looking back on all the women in my life, it seems so obviously NOW which ones were b*tches and which ones weren't. But until tonight they were all just one big blur of womanhood.

I suspect many might share a similar predicament given the widespread acceptance men seem to have for b*tches. Hell, millions get oneitis over a b*tch. but why?

perhaps it might just be because we were raised by women who had little respect for men and what they go through in life. perhaps, like moths to the flame, we are drawn to what we know.

meanwhile. there are tons of nice women caring women out there that we never find ourselves attracted to because we aren't drawn to them.

i see women treat men with such disrespect and act like absolute children in their lack of ability to be honest and forthright and to control their emotions.... and yet men are lining up to have them kick them in the balls.

this is crazy!!!!!

screw what our models were as children. screw letting some b*tch kick you in the balls because all the women you've known all act the same way.

it's time to say NO to the b*tches and start saying YES to the man-lovers!

anyway, interested in hearing thoughts anyone might have on this. I know it might sound a bit far fetched and freaudian, but i honestly think theres a lot of truth to this post.

J

 

[hithard]

Damn this is yet another thing I've been doing wrong.

 

[Immaculate]

Only problem is they act like angels to make you fall for them... so they hide that they are b!tches until they have you falling for them... Then the b!tch comes out...whether it's by cheating on you or pulling some other rotten bullsh!t.

 

[joekerr31]

yes, this always made no sense to me. how could a woman say you're her everything, then the next day knife you.

but now that i understand how i overlook b*tch signs because of the examples of what a "woman" is that i had as a child it makes so much more sense.

b*tches don't want to be b*tch, but they are (I don't know a single b*tch who admits that shes a b*tch). They see themselves as victims and they have a huge amount of anger inside - and they see all of it as justified.

But they also KNOW that no sane, rational human being would put up with their desire to be self centered and angry. So they will BE whatever they need to be for you to get you hooked. Once they KNOW you are a hooked, then the b*tch comes out. I think they see it as "hey, I pretend to be what you wanted. Now you owe me and now you have to put up with my chit". and they will treat you like crap for years, a whole life time if you let them. and when does a b*tch leave? the moment you start calling her on her chit. ever notice that?

No matter how big an AFC a man might be, eventually, and it may take years, he starts to fight back. and when a b*tch senses that her ability to abuse her man emotionally is comign to an end, she ends it.

I have noticed that GOOD women don't try to manipulate you. They just tell you how they feel, what they are thinking, and hope you feel and think the same way. A b*tch might tell you how she feels, but if you don't react the way she was hoping or expecting, WATCH OUT!
she'll tear into you with all kinds of put downs on how you aren't understanding enough or whatever.

my DJ search has definetly taken a new turn. All the guys out there can have the b*tches. I'm gonna find me a Good woman.

:woo:

J

 

[joekerr31]

oh one other thing. how come we are drawn to these women?

i think its because we associate these BROKEN women with love and caring. most our mothers loved us, because B*TCHES tend to take their crap out on their husbands, not their kids.

so we think at the end of the day that all these BAD traits will lead to something good. so we see whats bad for us as something thats good for us.

and no man wants to admit that his mother was a b*tch. but the truth is, most of our mothers are no different than a lot of the b*tches out there in the world.

pretty heavy, but true.

J

 

[Medic]

I grew up watching my dad try to keep Mom happy. I spent years trying to keep my (now ex-) wife happy until she dumped me.

Why would a woman dump a guy who's totally devoted, loving, and all that crap that women say they want? Because I was BORING! It's all in the DJ Bible and I for one will never again be a b*tch-pleasing AFC.

I'm thinking that your generic b*tch might be even be trainable. It's a Pavlovian thing. She *****es, AFC jumps to please her - positive reinforcement. Put her with a DJ and she doesn't get the response she wants the behaviour should taper off.

I'm no DJ yet but I trained my puppy not to pee on the carpet in a couple of days. Women shouldn't take too much longer.

As for being attracted to them in the first place, maybe it's because they're a challenge. Or, perhaps, because they at least have passion of some kind even if it's negative.

 

[legolas]

I think a lot of these "b*tches" really don't want a man at all. I think they want validation of their "victim" idealogy and i think they want to make men feel as victimized as they do.

Wow you'be hit the nail right on the head!! Many people out there, including us, subconscioulsy look for validation of our reality. How else do you explain out being attracted to those who are like us, or say things that align with our beliefs? :woo:

Being able to look beyond that and keep an open mind, is a skill that very few have. You also need to ne aware of the ones who seemingly love you and are attracted yto you. Us guys don't look beyond the fact that a woman is attracted to us, or even worse we have theories and realities, like the C&F reality or the Mystery Method reality or the SpeedSeduction reality which get validated the moment a woman gets drawn in.

We assume that "it worked" and fall asleep after that assuming our work is done. Not only is this detrimental to the persona we created in her mind through the behaviors which we displayed, and if we want her to stick around we have to keep it up, but also we make the incorrect assumption that she got attracted to us because of what we did!!!

Why is it incorrect?

Because as jokerr31 pointed out, we ourselves get attracted to the kinds of women which validate our own beliefs and realities. People ARE indeed attracted to you for who you are to them, it's just that consciously we have a flawed picture of who we are ourselves. We think we are this or that, but our behaviors show a totally different picture. Knowing exactly why you are attracting certain women, is the key to a happier life

 

[joekerr31]

exactly. so unless you were raised by loving and caring parents (towards each other, not you) who showed you how members of the opposite genders SHOULD treat each other, odds are you are attracted to women that aren't going to treat you the way you want.

and the same goes for women. how they saw their father's treat their mothers influences what they are attracted to in a man.

and when you think of it, most of these "fathers" basically trudged off to work, got home, listened to their wife b*tch, ignored her while she vented, and then said "sorry" even if its not their fault.

so is it any surprise that so many women go ap**** on their men for no reason. they were raised thinking that is how you interact with a man.

and this is probably also why ignoring a woman draws her in more. that apathetic 'ya ya, whatever' attitude screams 'father' material.

haha
J

 

[WestCoaster]

Great topic

I've also dated a fair share of b-tches. Not sure why, my mom is cool (though she can be nit-picky), and my dad is cool, too. My parents have been married forever and are intellectuals, meaning I got ZERO training in matters of the heart growing up, but I could tell you a lot about history, politics, economic systems, and literature. Those are good things, but parents should really, really, really talk to their kids about dating, sex, love, and so forth. Not knowing this brought us kids some unneeded heartache.

I dated some royal B's with a capital "B" -- no lie. Almost married two of them, thank God neither happened. The spirit of the DJ was smiling upon me, even during those painful AFC days.

When you see a sweet, warm-hearted, positive woman, who sees the goodness in men, children, nature, the goodness of people, and has compassion for others, I'd suggest hanging on to her or at least dating her for a good long time to understand what kind of person you should be dating.

In today's me, me, me society, trust me these women are difficult to find ... and I'm sure the women will say the same for the kind of men out there today, and they'd be correct.

It's easy to fall into the date b-tches trap, real easy.

Yes, upbringing has a lot to do with it. You were fed this information (or misinformation) from your mom and dad or both for years on a daily basis. It's tough to de-program oneself.

* Really like your posts Joekerr. Your insight and posts on this board have been incredible.

 

[TheTrimReaper]

Good idea Joe....

I spent years trying to stay who I was in my last relationship, a happy person. I did the things I liked doing and gave what I could to my mate. But didn't stick to the DJ principles as strictly as I should have. There were signs, but I overlooked them as "nobody is perfect."

So, after a year, she blows up one day. She had gone through my personal stuff, finding my Lay Guide, Dating Journal, Poetry to get women h0rny.... And just loses it. I was p1ssed, too because she went through my personal stuff.

She said her reason was that I wasn't open with her and there must have been a reason why. So instead of asking me why in a healthy way, she went through my things. I REALLY wanted to dump her, and of course, I totally regret that now. But I turned soft when she started crying. I tried to rationalize my behavior for her. She just didn't understand what we have to do to meet the right woman.

That was a watershed moment. I became her b1tch. Slowly and inconspicuously, but that was the real beginning right there.

I think that women look for what's wrong with us, whereas we look for what's right with a woman. And once they have built up a surplus of our "shortcomings" , (I quote that from hearing my ex describe me in a phone conversation taking place outside my bedroom window one night) they have ammo and power.

Then when you start to give in to their pouting and frustration, they light your azz up! In the end she was just letting me have it.

I was her longest relationship by far. I think her previous longest one was like 7 months. But I guess my outer DJ coating only prolonged the challenge for her.

I'm totally fuggin' confused! Are we supposed to go through life never giving in to women no matter how much they protest? How does one go about giving these b1tches as little ammo as possible? If I had dumped my ex like I should have after that first year, I would have still lost a year of my time and commitment. And believe me, up to that point, nothing negative had happened.

I'm not so sure that being a b1tch is only a matter of who the woman is. I think it's just part of being a woman. It's their way of testing the waters to see where they stand in the relationship.

 

[penkitten]

for those seeking healthy relationships, stop dating manhating bi+ches. find some nice respectable ladies to get involved with.

 

[insidious]

Good food for thought dude.

I must be honest - my mom is quite the opposite. She takes responsibility for most the bad fortune that has befallen her and she is extremely hesitant to fork out the blame.

She feels women are to blame for about 99.5% of the crap out there when it comes to interpersonal relationships. I think she is blindly harsh. In fact, we have argued about this - I take the woman's side most of the time! It's pretty amusing, actually.

Problem is, have been inclucated with such opinions since my youth, I fear I have been trained to see the women's POV a little too easily now. I am always worried about how they feel or think too much now and have learned to subvert my own needs at the expense of women now.

My point is that the flipside of your predicament is even worse in the genesis of AFC's.

 

[joekerr31]

not all women are b*tches.

there are women out there who when you do AFC stuff for them, are unbelievably thankful.

caring and being nice and kind are not AFC. they are only AFC when she uses that to assume she has power over you and starts to treat you like HER b*tch and you let her. when she takes your kindness for granted, shes treating you like an AFC. and you only become an AFC if you let her.

gotta remember, women never truly have any power over a man. whatever power they have is created purely out of societal norms. they know this. they know that at the primal level, remove societies laws, you could pretty much do whatever you wanted to her becuase you are stronger.

psychologically i believe SOME women resent the fact that they are the weaker sex (phsyically). Society keeps telling them men and women are equal, but they know thats not 100% true. It's an ideal that society is striving for, but that's what it is, an ideal.

And they cope with this by kicking their man in the balls emotionally now and then. it makes them feel like things are even.

A healthy mature woman knows that her strengths are in her capacity to nurture.

Too many women today want to be men. and because men let them walk all over them they are actually starting to believe that there's no difference.

I'm sorry, when someone breaks into your house, TRUST ME, there's a HUGE difference.

i can't blame women for wanting to be strong and independent. unfortunately there are certain things about nature they will never be able to change - men are stronger. end of story.

they need to grow up, accept it and accentuate THEIR God given strenghts.

the more i think about it hte more i realize that as women gain greater position in society (which is great) they are getting more and more vicious. it's almost like the kid whose a wimp but who for some reason is protected by bullies. he walks around all tough because he knows no one will touch him because of who he associates with.

women today think they can do whatever the hell they want with no reprocusions.

and i do suspect that is a BIG reason why men aren't getting married in droves like they use to.

It's all quite fascinating when you look at it from a distance.
J

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by penkitten
for those seeking healthy relationships, stop dating manhating bi+ches. find some nice respectable ladies to get involved with.

The problem is that for the guys that are bitterly fixated on these women, guess what type they will encounter most often?

 

[joekerr31]

insidious. interesting.

its interesting, i had a convo with two women a few weeks ago.

we were talking about women and morality.

i was saying that i though that half the time women didnt know what they wanted.

and they respond - "no. a lot of women are just outright b*tches"

i was a bit taken aback. they went on to say how a lot of women are self centered, arrogant, immature little whiners.

haha. so there is hope here guys. there are women out there who see what we are seeing in their own kind.

what we gotta do is marry these types of women and treat them right. they deserve a good men. the b*tches dont.

:crackup: