Wow! College is dissapointing!!!

[Dee-Zy]

Fukk University is so deceitful.

Growing up, I was told that university life is the sh1t. This is where everybody are open-minded, friendly, social yaddi yadda.

What bunch of crap! Right now, my life consists of going to class, going home until the next class, going home, sleep.

Wake up and do it all over again.


It's like everybody got their ***** shield up in class or on campus.

All serious and quiet. I go into class and it actually feels unatural to say something, even hi. This bugs the hell out of me because I am a loud and dynamic man.


I have never been in any situation where people seemed to be AS CLOSED . EVER!!!! Even gyms are more friendly than this or clubs!!!!


WTF?

I can't believe this. Can somebody fill me in on this? I heard that especially the first week, this is where all the socialization is. I got nothing!!!

 

[Dee-Zy]

I've been waiting to get into university for years now. I'm so mad I don't even know where to start!!!

 

[Good_ol_boy]

"Right now, my life consists of going to class, going home until the next class"

Erm, yes, that is a major part of university, you know, going to school?

Have you joined any activitys, clubs etc??
Have you gone out of your way to meet people?
As you take more classes, you'll recognize people from previous classes, that gives you some common ground. Just going to university doesn't guarantee you a social life.

Good Luck!!!

 

[Cheiradawg]

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Yep man welcome to college. You described it very well.

The thing you have to remember is most people new to college feel the EXACT WAY you do. Everybody puts up that front you are talking about. But that wall they have up is usually very fragile and most people in college love to make new friends if you make the first move.

From my experience people usually are friends with who they live with. Concertrate on getting to know your sweetmates or hallmates or people that are around you. If you join a club sport, organization, or frat those people will mostly likely be your best friends.

The majority of students in college stick very close to their friends and say f*** off to everyone else.

What college are you attending?

 

[Miroku]

Depending on the class size, you might feel that it's difficult or impossible to start chatting away.

If it's small it's best to start with an open question to everyone, and start asking the people who respond further questions from there. Do that enough days before and after class, and people should be more apt to socialize (well, that's what I did for my small french class anyway; people will get more comfortable as time passes with more contact too).

If it's large, I'd imagine that people in the back are more likely to talk with you. The people in front of you and at your sides can't ignore your questions so you could try chatting with them too. Most people are nervous and unwilling to break the silence in any group size; you don't need to be like them. If your class breaks out into smaller groups, take the time to socialize as you're moving your chairs around and after you get whatever task your prof. assigned completed.

The moments and opportunities are there, you just need to recognize them, but yes unfortunately some people are just cold hearted jerks.

Since this is your first week, the advice to join clubs and stuff stands very true; working is even better as you generally spend more time together. Personally I go to class for class... it's just a nice bonus when I meet a dateable girl or a cool guy to make acquaintances with.

 

[gav]

"The majority of students in college stick very close to their friends and say f*** off to everyone else."

make that the majority of people on this planet

your first week is generally the most social week. you just have to weed out the unsocial people (usually the ones who are only at the place to study/try to look cool, by standing about not saying anything).

 

[Unforsaken]

Man, I love college life. I am a freshman at FIU and been going for about 3 weeks now.

Originally posted by Dee-Zy What bunch of crap! Right now, my life consists of going to class, going home until the next class, going home, sleep.

Wake up and do it all over again.
[/B]

1. What you do with your time is up to you..I was like that for the first week. I later on start to hang out at the cafeteria and meet people by just walking up and talking to them (I am a out going person). Also if people were talking in class, I would jump into the conversation.

Originally posted by Dee-Zy
It's like everybody got their ***** shield up in class or on campus.[
[/B]

2. Not really, most people are approachable. First thing I learn was never to expect someone to do it for me. I have to lead. So, I always the one walking up to them and starting a conversation.

Originally posted by Dee-Zy
All serious and quiet. I go into class and it actually feels unatural to say something, even hi. This bugs the hell out of me because I am a loud and dynamic man.[/B]

3. Well, you gotta understand people paid money for the class and want to pass it. So, don't bother talking during the class. Do it before or after. Easy ice breaker "Hey, did we have anything due today".

Originally posted by Dee-Zy
I can't believe this. Can somebody fill me in on this? I heard that especially the first week, this is where all the socialization is. I got nothing!!! [/B]

4. You gotta look for it, It not going to look for you. At my university they promote alot of stuff at the cafeteria and we also have a activity office in which we can go there to find information of clubs they have to offer.

 

[Dukester]

dont know whats wrong w/ ppl at your university. i go to a state school, and classes are usually pretty big, at least the electives. the normal classes are about 30 kids.

in a class of about 30, at least 10 are sociable, including me. i dont care what people think, and i talk to everyone in class, mainly the hotties, and some of the guys.

so you are just arent trying hard enough to socialize.

 

[Life-Trainee]

You're probably not trying that hard. I'm not exactly a socialite but I was always able to find at least a few people in a class who'd respond positively to human contact.

 

[blue17]

my experience was similar to yours at first. I was friendly to almost everyone....somewhat outgoing....and most people were friendly in return. The ones who weren't I just gave up the effort of trying to be super friendly/outgoing. Sure enough most of those people started saying hi to me first instead of the other way around.

 

[cannibustacap]

Give off nice, welcoming vibes. Be friendly and say "hi" to everyone and just be open and sociable. I am about to start college (UCLA) and I have the same fears as you.. not meeting someone or forming a group.

I think universally being nice works. Don't be a wussbag or cater to everyone's needs and do what they say. Just be: hey how are you doin today?

Try to find common ground with people to form friendships. To find chicks and dates, DJ bible man.


By the way, what college are you at?

 

[bob2007]

I thought I had a similar experience. It's all a numbers game just like with chicks. I initated conversations with people, seems like they'd be your friends and stuff. Next day they see you, nothing. It's kinda weird especially since I"m in management and theres only like 300-400 students. Eventually, you'll meet some people that are more receptive.

You can also leech off your friend's new friends, that's what I tend to do. Get people's names that seems to be somewhat important, I tend not to, which wasn't good.
I found that people took more of an interest in me once I started playing some sports as well. Clubs / events definetly help.

 

[DiSt0rTi0n_07]

Wow man, I just finished my second week and it was great.

1)Make sure when you meet ppl, its not in the middle of a class.

- When you first walk in, sit beside someone you wanna meet. Talk to them before the prof starts talking, maybe even come in a little early. I usually ask them what they want to do with the courses they are taking when they get out of college/uni. That opening hasn't steered me wrong yet!

- Go meet ppl in the library. Remember that HB9.5 in your math class? Hey look! There she is studying that material we went over earlier today! Go sit beside her, you are in the same class and you have a good icebreaker.

2)Dealing with the serious students:

- People are more serious in the classroom because they paid so much to go there. Nevertheless, talk with them before the class starts.

-99% of the time, the more serious a student appears, the more nervous they are about meeting people on campus!!! Deep down, most everyone wants to meet others at college/uni. Trust me, this is true. So far, I have managed to crack every serious student I have met so far. How did I do it? Thats my secret! Believe me tho, it can be done.
-- All the seriousness is conveyed as a cover for not wanting to look desperate. They act like they don't necessarily NEED anything but really they WANT friendship, and to be accepted.
--Of course there are those who just wanna study 24/7 but even then, they feel they NEED to but they don't exactly WANT to.

Just remember man, DONT GIVE UP! People are out there and you are the one with the balls to go and say hello so go out and do it! (I gotta go anyways)

 

[duke007]

Firstly University is different to college. College is way easier.

It depends on the place you go to.

Some institutions have really friendly and sociable people. Others are exclusive and and have lots of stuck up people who only think about their future careers.

I go to one of these places...most people have their head up their asses. It's difficult, but the more DJ you are, the easier you'll find it

good luck dee-zy

 

[FreeStyleZ]

If you are commuting to campus.. and not living on campus, dont expect much.

 

[Kelson]

I don't know what you're talking about, I've never had any problems meeting people or getting to know them at my college or any other. I guess it is just in how you approach people. When we are in high school, we tend to have the social proof of our peers built up over years and we can feel very confident and work off friends very easily. When we reach college that changes drastically because, all of a sudden, you don't know anyone and everything is new. How can you be confident when you don't know anyone or anything?!?!?!

Relax. Remember everyone else is going through the same thing. Most freshmen are in the same classes with one another. Go meet people in class, there are a number of threads suggesting ways to do this. A great one for beginners is just go in sit next to the best looking chick in the room, and start talking to her. "Hi, I'm Brandon. What's going on?" It is a smooth, easy, generally well practiced phrase without forcing yourself on them. My first day in my shakespearian literature class [lets talk about stuffy here...] I walked into class 10 minutes late and every chair in the room was taken. Teacher asked what was up, I responded cheerfully, confidently and impressed a room full of people I had never met, but now had the complete attention of...and I wasn't backing down because of it. A minute later the teacher said to find a partner and get to know them. Walked over to the best looking girl in the class, put both hands on her shoulders [she was just starting to get up] and said, "Gotcha." She loved it and we had a great time [we had to announce what we learned about one another after a few minutes...I told the class her digits, she told them I was the hottest guy on campus].

And, just for referance, my freshmen year at my engineering college we had a 4:1 ratio of guys to girls. It is only slightly better this year, so the pickings ain't that hot.

Kelson

EDIT: By the way, doing very public things in class [like joking with the teacher when you come in 10 minutes late, not like screaming "history? I love history!"] without being nervous is a very good way of impressing people you may never even talk to. The benefits can come weeks later.

 

[Scought]

Are you kidding?

Depends on the type of school. Maybe in Canada it sucks?

I go to the University of Oregon, and its awesome.
Sure the first few weeks you gotta figure out whats up. Change some expectations and things will be allright.
Wait til the weekend, when the fun starts.

I suggest making things happen. Depending on your choices, get some drinks involved in your dorm room. Talk to people that know whats goin on and invite girls, that way you are invited again by the guys, and you are cool with the girls.
Dont try to mack every girl you met in the first month or so, just be cool, have fun, make stuff happen.
I am just about to graduate from the University of Oregon, and its awesome, I am having a blast. I enjoy partying, drinking, and of course some studying.

The weekend is the best time for stuff to happen.
Learn to manage your time so you can go do fun stuff.

 

[blue17]

It is a lot harder to meet people if you are commuting to school instead of living on campus. A lot of people will tend to stick with their old friends who also commute there. That doesn't mean you can't be friednly and meet new ppl there.....it's just not as easy as other colleges. When you are living in a dorm on campus....you pretty much leave behind all your old friends....everyone is looking for someone to hang out with and therefore everybody is a lot more sociable. Plus you get to hang out with people outside of class at the dorm, which is very easy to build relationships.

 

[Interpol]

You just need to find a social circle. Join a frat if your school has one. Find out where the parties are happening and go to them. Like others said, it's much easier to get to know people if you live on campus. Dorm life is where the vast majority of early socializing occurs.

I'm a sophomore in college and I'm having more fun than I ever imagined possible. Feel free to PM me if you wanna talk about this some more...

 

[Dukester]

Originally posted by FreeStyleZ
If you are commuting to campus.. and not living on campus, dont expect much.

I commute... I expect a lot, and I get a lot. It's all about what you put into it- exceed your expectations, and dont limit yourself