Would you write this one off and move on?

[:-)]

Your last little text back was a bit sad.

She knows she's got you wrapped around her finger with the whole "maybe we can hang out sometime, just let me know" thing.

I suggest not contacting her, don't delete her number just yet, just don't make contact with her.
She'll make contact with you if she's interested.

If she does contact you again and makes plans, tell her to stick to them this time or you'll belt her.

from my own experience. When i say 'just let me know' i know i'm not really that interested and i'm kind of on the fence. no doubt girls will pick up on that.

when i'm really interested in a girl i'm not going to be on the fence with her.

 

[consistentguy]

What If i missed her call after 4 days, should i wait for her to call me again or just ask her out after 5 days (its Been 7 days now, 3 days after she called me, a little too long right?)

Would also like igetit to answer this

 

[Lotus Effect]

Bumped for wisdom!

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Why do they always say "maybe" or "probably"? How does the interest level get tanked like this in the first place? Is it cause we let them flake a few times?

 

[Luji]

I'm tempted to say ,"Yeah,just forget about her",but let's rather see if you can re-ignite her interest...that is,if you're still interested.

So if you're game,I'll put what it is you need to do to rekindle her interest in you in steps.

Step 1: Go at least the next 5 days with no contact.

Don't call her,text her,instant message her,communicate by Facebook,MySpace,or any of that. And if she tries to contact you IN ANY WAYOTHER THAN BY A PHONECALL,do not answer or reply.

Absolutely NO CONTACT for the next 5 (4 to 5) days.

Step 2: Let's say that in the 3rd or 4th day of this,she calls you. If this happens,go ahead and talk to her. Ask her how she's doing,tell her what you're been up to (make it something exciting/emotional). Talk to her for a little while,but whatever you do, DON'T SAY ANYTHING about you two getting together for a date or hanging out. Just talk and catch up a little,just a little,and then end the phone call as soon as you've done this.

Step 3: Now let's say while you two are talking one of the times she calls you,you do like I suggested above,but she suggests you two getting together and hanging out. Now at this point,you need to be CAREFUL. You can easily let your desire for her screw things up. NOW LISTEN:If she suggest you two hanging out,DO NOT AGREE TO IT.

You heard me. I'll repeat it.

DO NOT AGREE TO IT.

What you do if she suggest this is you reply something like this...

her:Would you like to hang out tomorrow?
you: Umm....well...well look,I know that between your job,hanging out with your friends,and taking care of your mother,you probably don't have a lot of time on your hands,and I COMPLETELY understand. You've got a lot going on right now,that's cool. So since you've got your plate full right now,if you don't have any time,if you're just TOO busy,then it's cool. Don't worry about it.

Now what will happen here is she'll think that you've lost or are losing interest. She'll think that you don't want to see her anymore,but instead of just straight out telling her,you're trying to use her being "busy" as an excuse to end things

At this point,things should have flipped over to your favor. After you say all that to her,if she has any interest at all,she should come back at you with something like,"Oh no,I'm not busy. Not anymore,I'll be free on (whenever).

Then you come back at her with...

you:Are you sure? I mean,I don't want to mess up your schedule or anything like that.

If she says she's sure,and suggest a time,then say ok and agree to it.

After 4 or 5 days of no contact plus this type of conversation taking place after all that time has passed,her interest level should be raised.

And finally...

Step 4: (And this is the most important one of all) Come back here and thank the forum.

The toughest part may be going the 5 days of no contact if you're used to talking to her everyday or every other day,but it's VITAL you do this.

Try that out. If after you do this,she's still not interested,then drop her and move on.

- I will try this with my current girlfriend because she's cooling down on me. Last night i told her that we should cool down first and just call when we misses each other because she has lost interest in me again then she told me "what if it wont work out after that" I told her "its fine i wont insist myself if you dont want me again" after that she changed our topic and her replies seem to be more enthusiastic. Should I tell her that we should have no contact for atleast 5 days and just call if we misses each other?? please help

 

[Igetit!]

- I will try this with my current girlfriend because she's cooling down on me.

Dude......this advice was meant for FLAKING. It's for when you try to take a girl out,you two make plans,and she either doesn't show up,or repeatedly keeps cancelling and making excuses.....it's not for trying to fix relationship problems.

You can try it if you want,though.

Last night i told her that we should cool down first and just call when we misses each other because she has lost interest in me again then she told me "what if it wont work out after that" I told her "its fine i wont insist myself if you dont want me again" after that she changed our topic and her replies seem to be more enthusiastic.

It'd help if you provided some background about the relationship....like how long you've been dating,when problems started to arise,the type of behavior she's been expressing lately,etc,etc.


Anyway,the info you wanted to try above is for FLAKING. This....http://www.sosuave.net/forum/thread...ing-to-a-womans-emotions.156533/#post-1550301

is for relationships. Try it instead.

Should I tell her that we should have no contact for atleast 5 days and just call if we misses each other?? please help

NO......DON'T DO THAT.

Don't say anything to her......just follow what's in the link I gave you.

 

[Initiatedindenial]

Your last little text back was a bit sad.

She knows she's got you wrapped around her finger with the whole "maybe we can hang out sometime, just let me know" thing.

I suggest not contacting her, don't delete her number just yet, just don't make contact with her.
She'll make contact with you if she's interested.

If she does contact you again and makes plans, tell her to stick to them this time or you'll belt her.

Agreed. Never ever say this to a girl, first you are coming as desperate second you are coming as passive and that you will take whatever she throws at you.

If she happens to still have any interest and writes you, be sure to tell her that you are not available that day, and then give her an alternative day/time. If she says she can't just forget about her.

My friend, do yourself a favor and never ever use that line with a girl again.

 

[dirtydeeds]

@Igetit! Excellent stuff sir.

Hoping to get your opinion on one here.
High interest at first, great sex, history etc.
Girl is damaged goods from a very long ago relationship.
Anyway, saw each other once or twice a week for a month or two, girl over analyzed and got nervous - began to become difficult to see, flaked on 2 previous dates - locked my final attempt (3) in and then flaked again. Asked what I was doing a few days later and if we can go then, I "said maybe, let me know". Reached out to her to confirm that day, skirted around it and then didn't reply to my
last txt to see where she was headed that night as we were both out in reply to her asking where I was. 2 days later texts me saying she's terrible and doesn't know how I deal with her with a lol and that she just read my last text.

Should I reply, now a day later (txt last night) saying "no worries" to diffuse her thinking and to assure her that Im not mad (lost a lot of interest in her) and that she got to me and then initiate your protocol, or should today (1 day after her reply) or when she flaked on me (4 days ago) count as the first day of your no contact process and just ignore her lame excuse text until the 5 days is up?

After multiple flakes, when I do call her on the 5th or 6th day, should I even ask her out or just do as you said, be polite and keep it short with no indication that I even want to see her?

I know this has NEXT written all over it, but for some reason I don't think throwing in the towel on this one just yet is the right call.. Still spinning plates though.

Thanks brother, any input is appreciated

 

[Igetit!]

@Igetit! Excellent stuff sir.

Hoping to get your opinion on one here.
High interest at first, great sex, history etc.
Girl is damaged goods from a very long ago relationship.

Ok.....and how do you know she's "damaged goods"? Who told you that?

And if it's true,what do you want her for...especially if you're already spinning plates and have multiple other options.
Surely sex with her can't be so good that you're willing to let her "damaged goods" behavior cause issues and reek havoc in your own life???

Anyway, saw each other once or twice a week for a month or two, girl over analyzed and got nervous- began to become difficult to see,

So you think the reason she suddenly started flaking and became difficult to see was cause she over-analyzed things and became nervous. I see....

Well here at sosuave,we actually have a name for that sort of condition....

It's called,"HORSESH!T".

flaked on 2 previous dates - locked my final attempt (3) in and then flaked again.

So she flaked on you.....three times in a row. Umm.....is there any particular reason why YOU'RE CHOOSING to put up with this nonsense?

Wouldn't it be simpler just to go date someone else? I mean if this is what it's like to just get a date with her,what kind of hell would it be to actually get the woman and have a relationship with her?

Asked what I was doing a few days later and if we can go then, I "said maybe, let me know". Reached out to her to confirm that day, skirted around it and then didn't reply to my
last txt to see where she was headed that night as we were both out in reply to her asking where I was. 2 days later texts me saying she's terrible and doesn't know how I deal with her with a lol and that she just read my last text.

Damn,lol. It's bad when even the woman HERSELF knows she's full of sh1t. She said that she HERSELF was terrible and that she doesn't know how you deal with her. We normally say on here not to go by what a woman says,but by her actions instead.

This is one case where you might actually wanna LISTEN to her words,since her words and actions line up.

Should I reply, now a day later (txt last night) saying "no worries" to diffuse her thinking and to assure her that Im not mad (lost a lot of interest in her) and that she got to me

You shouldn't do that. You re-assuring her of you not being upset and that your interest hasn't waned is the EXACT OPPOSITE of what you need to do. All you'd do was re-assure her that she can continue flaking,BS'ing,and playing games.....and NO MATTER WHAT she does,or how she behaves,you'll still be there waiting,in case she decides to give you A MORSEL of her time.

and then initiate your protocol, or should today (1 day after her reply) or when she flaked on me (4 days ago) count as the first day of your no contact process and just ignore her lame excuse text until the 5 days is up?


After multiple flakes, when I do call her on the 5th or 6th day, should I even ask her out or just do as you said, be polite and keep it short with no indication that I even want to see her?

5 days,4 days,1 day,5th or 6th day.......dude.....man...you even got me confused trying to make sense of all this,lol.

I replied to this thread almost 9 years ago. And while I believe the advice is still relevent,it's NOT a magic wand. And I hate to say this,but given the things you've said about her,and how you've responded and reacted thus far,honestly....I don't think you have the strength necessary to turn this thing around.

If you still wanna have a go at it,fine...the no contact can start whenever you want,but you'll need to replace YOUR THINKING with the advice I put in the post.

I know this has NEXT written all over it, but for some reason I don't think throwing in the towel on this one just yet is the right call.. Still spinning plates though.

Yes,it does. If you still wanna make a play for this chick,fine,but KEEP PURSUING OTHER WOMEN.....don't put your sole focus on her.

 

[dirtydeeds]

@Igetit!
You know what, reading that reply made it easy.. NEXT.

Thanks man, sometimes you just need another viewpoint.

I don’t contact her much at all anymore as I’m pretty over the bull**** and got a lot going on. Once a week to set something up. But that’s once a week too many. Like you eluded too, she initiates when she doesn’t hear from me for a few days for the attention.

Appreciate your time Igetit.