Would you let her get away with it?

[crotchrocket]

Unfortunately for me, I've gotten pretty good at recognizing when a chic has no intentions of calling or emailing even though she says she will. I ask a question and the chic says "I'll let you know" and I'm thinking "no you won't" What I want to know is, do you let her 'get away with it'?

On one hand I think, why waste anymore of my time on a chic that doesn't have the decency to say or even write me a simple no thanks! But on the other hand I'm thinking why the hell do I not at least force her to grow up a little and make her follow the social rules I'm sure we've all been taught; when someone asks you a question, you answer them for fvck sakes! YES or NO, it's not that hard!

Which is the right way?

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

It never ceases to amaze me the amount of crap a guy will tolerate from a woman that he would get into a fight over with his best male friend were he to pull the same thing.

Look at it from this perspective, what would you do if a buddy of your's did the same thing?

 

[Chemistry]

Don't put too much weight on it... just focus your attention elsewhere, don't even think about it, occupy yourself and keep building with other girls and friends, when a call happens it happens but most time you'll be too busy to even answer it! And you've got so many options that the ball is basically in your court



As for the general principle on display here, I'll be out with a girl, or get with a girl in a club and tell them I'll call them later... I don't call a whole lot of them, its accepted as the easiest way to let someone down without rejecting them right in front of you... maybe a copout but its also less harsh on them



Way to reverse your situation is to say you'll call, that way you have the power... just be more authoratative over the whole situation... that said, there's not a whole lot of point in that if a girl isn't interested because you're wasting your time

 

[crotchrocket]

That's exactly the dilemma I'm always debating. If a buddy of mine told me three times in a row in the space of 2 minutes, "I'll let you know, honest I'll let you know, Seriously I'll let you know" then he doesn't let me know even though he's well aware that I have a time limit on the answer, I give him serious sh!t about it, and he likely doesn't do it ever again. So should I be holding women accountable to?


On the other hand, does it matter?, should it matter?, when a chic she doesn't get back to me within a short period of time, I already know what the answer is anyway?

Lately, I have making more of a point of letting these chics know right then and there I'm aware that "I'll let you know" is just a brush-off tactic, but even after I insist they say yes or no right there, some still spew out the "I'll let you know".

I'd like to know which is the DJ way? Drop it, or make them accountable?

 

[Tha Realnezz]

Chics want you to be the caller so they can feed their ego's.

 

[DeathDealer]

Originally posted by Tha Realnezz
Chics want you to be the caller so they can feed their ego's.

Can you go into this in more detail rather than making a blanket statement like that? It's like saying chicks don't know how to cook so they can make you do it for them.

 

[crotchrocket]

Does anybody have an answer to my original question? And why you know your way to be the most effective DJ way? I run into this so often, even with the chics I'm otherwise successful with.

 

[jiro77]

"On one hand I think, why waste anymore of my time on a chic that doesn't have the decency to say or even write me a simple no thanks! But on the other hand I'm thinking why the hell do I not at least force her to grow up a little and make her follow the social rules I'm sure we've all been taught; when someone asks you a question, you answer them for fvck sakes! YES or NO, it's not that hard!"

I'm not sure what they best way to go about it is, but I think you already answered your question on the one hand. Your better off just moving on....The part of you that makes them want to "grow up" is the frustration your feeling. Don't get frustrated, be polite, and just move on. You don't want to leave any bad vibes, because they might discover that they had missed out...just my 2 cents.

 

[squirrels]

Depends on the question.

If you're asking her out, give her a time you need to know by. If she doesn't get back to you by then, assume the answer is "no" and call one of your other girls.

 

[Maverick001]

crotchrocket,

To answer your original question, regarding calling or emailing, I always make the initial contact after getting her email addy or digits. I NEVER GIVE MINE OUT TO THE CHICK WHEN GETTING HERS.

Why you ask? It's because I'm qualifying her and I'll only pony up my email addy and digits AFTER SHE'S PROVEN TO ME THAT SHE'S WORTHY.

When I'm getting her contact info. I'll validate that it's real. If there's any indicator that it's not, I'll tell her I'm not here to play games with her and she should try that with w#ssy boys that fall for that cr@p.

After making the initial contact, I'll set-up a quick coffee meeting and go from there.

I typically give out my contact info. only after seeing the chick at least 3 times. That way I'm comfortable with her not being blatantly crazy.

After that, if I'm the one that's calling/contacting her most of the time but still getting the response I want, I don't care. Same goes for the converse. If she's calling/contacting me all the time and I'm getting the response I want, it's cool.

It doesn't have to be 50/50 for the calling & contact frequency. Figure out what works best for you.

Just my 2 cents.

Cheers,
Mav

 

[NewMan]

Realize that you will meet flakes in life. There are many of them - and they will both be male and female.

The way to deal with this is not to give a fvck.

It's happened to me also - and how I react depends on who she is and the circumstance.

What I never do though - is call her out on it - or make some kind of fuss about it. It's not personally worth my time or energy. It shouldn't be worth yours either.

So the girl is a flake and doesn't want to spend time with you - her problem.

Just stop calling and contacting her. If you see her in school for instance - just ignore the b#tch.

Your time is precious. That is something you will never get back.

Don't waste it on a chick. Use it to effect.

 

[crotchrocket]

I don't see how women can expect anyone to put up with this kind of crap. I guess it's the principle of the thing that's bugging me. I actually have INTEGRITY, so when I say I'm going to do something (especially when I say it three times in the space of 2 minutes) I DO IT !

And I can GUARANTEE it, the next time I see her, she'll be looking at me from across the room like she's done nothing wrong! The last chic before this last one, well after date #2 she told me to give her a call ANYTIME if I wanted to, so I did I called her, twice, but no answer, no return call, so I nexted her, now I've been ignoring her, well now she's obviously pi$$ed at me because I've been ignoring her! I actually think it's funny, But seriously are all women completely insane or what, or is it just the women I've been so 'lucky' to meet!

 

[MinCO]

If you ask for a woman's phone number and she gives it to you, why not call her right then and there using your cell phone and leave a voicemail while she is standing there. Tell her that you are calling her to leave your number on her voicemail. If she's given you a fake number, boy is she going to feel like the ***** that she is. hang up, and walk away with her standing there feeling stupid. If she apologizes and offers to give you her real number, give her yours and make her do the work if she wants to see you.

If you ask a woman out and she says she needs to think about it, it means she doesnt' want to go out with you. Move on.

 

[Porky]

I call them on it sometimes...but really it depends on what mood I'm in.

Most of the time I'm feeling really good so I just let it slide and stop talking to the chick. Other times, if I really feel like my time has been wasted, I will unleash my fury.

the question you should be asking yourself isn't whether or not it's DJ to call her on it, but rather HOW you call her on it.

You can either call her on her bullsh1t using humor and nonchalance, or anger. I suggest humor and nonchalance. Send her an e-mail which subtly reminds her how much you two have in common and which lightly-but-seriously lets her know how you value her time, and you wish she would value yours. The last time I did this the flaker called me back literally within a minute of receiving the e-mail to reschedule - but I blew her off. my time is too precious to waste like this.

If you use anger, make sure it's a cold anger. That's much more powerful than a heated tyrade. If she tries to talk to you, coldly let her know that you don't appreciate your time being wasted. I'd say this is the more fun way to do things, but less effective.

 

[Wiesman44]

There's no point in getting angry about it. Just think of it as a game. WHen they're not interested they will flake. They don't give a reason, and they might not even tell you they're not interested, but they just ignore you.

Keep in mind guys that women have no obligation to call us, speak to us, or make plans with us just b/c we approached and djed them. If they'd rather be a flake about it than tell you a straight out no, then thats fine by me. I can recognize all the signs of disinterest, so it no longer bothers me anymore. Yet, it used to be VERY annoying when I was afc and didnt know better.

 

[saki]

crotch,
I know what you are going through. You have the frustration because you are a man and want the last word! If you want it, have the last word, dont let her hurt you heart! Before, I would just ignore it but then she has the upper hand. I have had chicks that pulled that **** online, and if they did I would call them out and make them feel bad, I would say over half of them write back and then I just trash their message, it will make you feel good!! trust me, and then go ahead and MOVE ON after YOU get the LAST WORD!!!!!!!!!

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Originally posted by crotchrocket
Unfortunately for me, I've gotten pretty good at recognizing when a chic has no intentions of calling or emailing even though she says she will. I ask a question and the chic says "I'll let you know" and I'm thinking "no you won't" What I want to know is, do you let her 'get away with it'?

Why are you asking women to call you or e-mail you??? Men don't do this!!! You honestlly sound like a woman!!!

YOU, YOU, YOU call a chick and ask her to do an activity that will enhance your and her romantic interest!! If she declines without an counter offer then move on and leave her alone! Simple, very simple!!

 

[Tha Realnezz]

Deathdealer:That's exactly what I mean. Women want to be pursued.

They are the ones who can't live without being the center of attention.This thread comes from that being the prize menatlity or maybe someone filling in for lost-time.

It's good to be in charge and all that but you have to compromise.

Pursuing>Knocking off her pedestal...IMHO.

 

[crotchrocket]

PeurtoRican_Lover, contradictions are typical in this whole area, one time I read about being the man and pursuing the woman (which I do) and then the next time I read about testing her IL and getting her to call me (which is what I have done in this case). This isn't a case of walking up to a woman I don't know and telling her "here's my number, give me a call" geez. These are chic's that I've already got good rapport with, I've caught numerous times looking at me from across the room and on and on with the positive signs.

saki, well put!, just what I was thinking. It's not about being pi$$y with them, it's about making them ACCOUNTABLE like an adult should be, if I tell someone I am going to do something, I DO IT. So this is what I did, I contacted her again, asked her again, to make a long story short... MADE her answer me one way or the other (I didn't honestly care which way it was) she said she couldn't go (big surprise) but she apologized for not getting back to me. NEXT, which is what I did, then another chic I've been dating gave me a call, I invited her, we had a blast!

My whole thing with is, HOW DO MOST GUYS HANDLE THIS? because I suspect that MOST just let it slide, but MOST guys I know are AFC, so how does handling it like an AFC make me any better, it doesn't!

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Originally posted by crotchrocket
I don't see how women can expect anyone to put up with this kind of crap. I guess it's the principle of the thing that's bugging me. I actually have INTEGRITY, so when I say I'm going to do something (especially when I say it three times in the space of 2 minutes) I DO IT !

And I can GUARANTEE it, the next time I see her, she'll be looking at me from across the room like she's done nothing wrong! The last chic before this last one, well after date #2 she told me to give her a call ANYTIME if I wanted to, so I did I called her, twice, but no answer, no return call, so I nexted her, now I've been ignoring her, well now she's obviously pi$$ed at me because I've been ignoring her! I actually think it's funny, But seriously are all women completely insane or what, or is it just the women I've been so 'lucky' to meet!

Heheh,..yeah and "guy's are the A-Holes because they never call you afterwards and they're afraid of committment."

This is a textbook example of why I will never again bite my tounge when a woman pops off about 'double standards' as if they own the term. For every double standard there is for a woman there's another for a man.