Would you guys finish with her over this?
- Thread starter The Truth
- Start date
I forgot an update to this. I took note of some of the replies here that suggested I was being too strict or too paranoid. I had a good think and realised I'm a confident guy and I have every faith that my girlfriend loves me and wants me more than anyone else.
I also realised that a girlfriend is not faithful because her boyfriend is cutting off her options, but because she WANTS to be faithful to him.
So I spoke to her again and told her I don't mind if she talks to exes or hangs out with them. She instantly started telling me how she never wants to see any of her exes and kept going on about how she doesn't care about anyone in her life except me. I assured her I'm happy that she is on good terms with her exes and said if she had a connection with them it would be a shame to lose it. Almost as though I was pushing her to him.
She started pleading with me to understand how much she loves me and how she doesn't care about any other men and so on. She said because it caused some problems between us it's not worth it and she's cut all contact with this guy. She admitted a lot of things to me too including how she fantasises about us being married (another issue entirely that one).
And you know what? My paranoia is gone and I don't have the slightest worry about her cheating on me now.
I remember reading somewhere on this forum that when I girl disrespects you or does something you dislike, treat it with coolness. Instead of getting angry, upset or making threats, you should act as though her actions are slightly offputting. I think this is the vibe she was getting from me and now I feel like I'm back in control.
Call it mindgames if you like, but I like to think of it as just knowing how to handle a situation and keep level headed and I genuinely felt confident enough to say these things and mean them too.
I also realised that a girlfriend is not faithful because her boyfriend is cutting off her options, but because she WANTS to be faithful to him.
So I spoke to her again and told her I don't mind if she talks to exes or hangs out with them. She instantly started telling me how she never wants to see any of her exes and kept going on about how she doesn't care about anyone in her life except me. I assured her I'm happy that she is on good terms with her exes and said if she had a connection with them it would be a shame to lose it. Almost as though I was pushing her to him.
She started pleading with me to understand how much she loves me and how she doesn't care about any other men and so on. She said because it caused some problems between us it's not worth it and she's cut all contact with this guy. She admitted a lot of things to me too including how she fantasises about us being married (another issue entirely that one).
And you know what? My paranoia is gone and I don't have the slightest worry about her cheating on me now.
I remember reading somewhere on this forum that when I girl disrespects you or does something you dislike, treat it with coolness. Instead of getting angry, upset or making threats, you should act as though her actions are slightly offputting. I think this is the vibe she was getting from me and now I feel like I'm back in control.
Call it mindgames if you like, but I like to think of it as just knowing how to handle a situation and keep level headed and I genuinely felt confident enough to say these things and mean them too.
Looks like you handled it well in the end, I just wanted to add that your mistake was to ask if she had spoken to her ex. The chick-mind will seize on the fact that typing isn't speaking and justify being economical with the truth.
I'd still call her on this at some point, like next time she springs a shyt-test on you for some bullshyt reason. Though she sounds a good girl.
I'd still call her on this at some point, like next time she springs a shyt-test on you for some bullshyt reason. Though she sounds a good girl.
Bloke
Senior Don Juan
Stop being a little sook is my advice. If you can't handle men hitting on your girl then maybe you just don't feel man enough.
I couldn't help but laugh at this.
I don't believe people in relationships should communicate with their exs period and sending pictures (even tasteful ones) is out of line.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Pictures ! Communication !!!!
I couldn't help but laugh at this.
I don't believe people in relationships should communicate with their exs period and sending pictures (even tasteful ones) is out of line.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Pictures ! Communication !!!!
Tomatoes
Master Don Juan
Late on seeing this post. As soon as I read your first thread i knew it was going to just be a harmless email and chat with her ex. I still talk with my ex's. I get on really well and if i had a girl she would be jeulous if she saw me with them. However its as i said....Harmless...
My advice would be to let her talk to the guy if she wants.....If not your stopping her from talking to a "Friend" and your showing insucurity. From reading threw you do not need to worry about her cheating.
Another DJ success story.....Today seems like a good day on sosuave
Sarge On!
My advice would be to let her talk to the guy if she wants.....If not your stopping her from talking to a "Friend" and your showing insucurity. From reading threw you do not need to worry about her cheating.
Another DJ success story.....Today seems like a good day on sosuave
Sarge On!