would you go on a dinner date for a 1st date if the girl suggest it?

[whosthat]

met on pof and quite a bit of good convo, i suggest coffe, she said she wasnt big on coffe and suggest applebess. i said ok and just wonder if she poss the type just wants some food and drinks for free, but maybe im being cheap, but food and all seems like a bit for a 1st date huh? i mean if i got the goods and all then of course it would be worth it, i just dont like the gamble, if i had doe to play with it would be nothing then. any of yall just straight up declined a restaurant date? or would yall say you just have to take your chances in this game?

 

[Tiguere]

applebess is more after you fvcked her. shes a stranger. i took some h0e to applebees once and ended paying the tab 80 bucks for 2 drinks and some appetizers. NOT WORTH IT.

 

[Iceberg]

met on pof and quite a bit of good convo, i suggest coffe, she said she wasnt big on coffe and suggest applebess. i said ok and just wonder if she poss the type just wants some food and drinks for free, but maybe im being cheap, but food and all seems like a bit for a 1st date huh? i mean if i got the goods and all then of course it would be worth it, i just dont like the gamble, if i had doe to play with it would be nothing then. any of yall just straight up declined a restaurant date? or would yall say you just have to take your chances in this game?

Do you drink? Applebee's has a bar.

Instead of sitting across from each other at a table (like an old married couple), sit at the bar, order an appetizer, get her liquored up, and have some fun.

It's a fair compromise. Plus booze is gonna have better results than coffee.

applebess is more after you fvcked her. shes a stranger. i took some h0e to applebees once and ended paying the tab 80 bucks for 2 drinks and some appetizers. NOT WORTH IT.

Haha really? Damn. I mean, I haven't been to Applebee's since I was 21. I didn't know it was that f**kin expensive.

 

[Zarky]

Any time a woman "upgrades" my choice of first date I automatically next her. Big red flag, unless you like gold diggers. Having said that, coffee's a crap first date unless you can't drink (alcohol) for some reason.

 

[nismo-4]

You're staring down the barrel of a one date wonder.

When you suggest something, she's supposed to go along with it. Stay in control. She wants to see how much money you're willing to spend on her. I swear women have more entitlement issues than ever. They think their vaginas are worth millions.

Women who want dinner on a first date will be happy that they're having fun at your expense. You'll be lucky if you get a kiss on the cheek. AFAIC, dinner dates are for women you've f**ked already. Not before. Stay in control. Lay down the law. Grow a backbone. If she leaves, no harm done! Judge nismo's verdict!

Also, dinner equals sleep, alcohol may equal sex.

Case closed. Put these b**ches in their places. :rockon:

 

[GQ Scott]

I wouldn't suggest paying for the first date regardless. If it's anything more than a 5$ coffee split the cheque, if she has issues with that she is not worth it in the first place.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Any time a woman "upgrades" my choice of first date I automatically next her. Big red flag, unless you like gold diggers.

Agree.

Having said that, coffee's a crap first date unless you can't drink (alcohol) for some reason.

Coffee is a crap first date if you don't know what the hell you are doing, or if you are as interesting as a noodle and unable to hold a woman spellbound and/or showcase your value. If she is into you, it does not matter where you take her. That being said, if you can actually skip the coffee, dinner, etc., and go straight for the alcohol, you will be in a good position.

 

[jhl]

I've been in this position lots of times, as have all guys here. I'm especially used to this situation cuz i tend to date a lot of hb9's who act like they're entitled to be treated out to a nice meal or whatever just bc they're so goddamn hot and irresistible to men. For me, when i have done the dinner date it hardly ever ends well, at least not when a girl "suggests" dinner for a very first date. So I avoid it as much as possible. It absolutely does not make sense to go all out with dinner on a first date, but lots of women don't think like this. Often they feel they need to be spoiled because they're just so damn good to be around, and some feel like "hey, if i don't like him i'll at least get a nice free dinner out of this."

For me, when you're in the situation where a girl actually says "i don't do coffee let's do dinner," you're in a bit of quandary. If you insist on coffee or smthng cheap, she will be turned off just as if you had showed up for the date looking like a squeegee kid. But these situations rarely end up well. I dated a hot 22 year old off of match.com this way, where she suggested dinner when i picked her up and when i responded with "it's a first date let's just do drinks" she was like "oh come on it's not like i'm gonna rip you off" lol I ended up getting great sex off her for a year but she was crazy so you're doing this all at your own peril.

Basically, my advice is if you decide to take her out you pretty much have no choice but to take her out for dinner, or I guarantee she will not want to see you again. The chances of things working out well with a girl like this are very slim, but still possible. So now, you have to weigh certain considerations, like how much money you have and how hot this girl is. If you ask a girl out on a date, unfortunately sometimes you have to be willing to take a hit to the wallet. If not, then stay at home and try to arrange a date with some other girl. There's plenty more fish in the sea haha sorry bad joke

You can easily turn the tables back on her by saying that you only have a narrow time slot this week which would only allow for coffee, but would have enough time for dinner the following week. This way you can eval whether or not she's worth your time for another meet on your terms.

If she refuses to meet you for coffee and insists that the date be postponed to the following week then you should have no business seeing this girl unless u want to throw money down the drain.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

When you suggest something, she's supposed to go along with it. Stay in control. She wants to see how much money you're willing to spend on her. I swear women have more entitlement issues than ever. They think their vaginas are worth millions. Women who want dinner on a first date will be happy that they're having fun at your expense. You'll be lucky if you get a kiss on the cheek. AFAIC, dinner dates are for women you've f**ked already. Not before. Stay in control. Lay down the law. Grow a backbone. If she leaves, no harm done! Judge nismo's verdict! Also, dinner equals sleep, alcohol may equal sex. Case closed. Put these b**ches in their places. :rockon:

Totally agree!

If she is interested, she will be happy to spend time anywhere, and you'll probably even get her to tell you how she is bored with all those guys who try to buy her attention by buying her dinners on dates she's obviously bored with.

When you have enough plates spinning, or enough women on your team/rotation, then you have no sense of loss at letting one of these gold diggers walk. In fact, letting them walk away might be the only possible thing you can do to spark some interest if she's not already into you.

If she's the "I don't do coffee", then you suggest drinks, yogurt, or meeting at the mall, etc. Always a "meet and greet" or pre-date before anything else.

 

[Zarky]

Always a "meet and greet" or pre-date before anything else.

I disagree. I only do drinks and maybe a small shared appetizer as a first date. My time is too valuable for a throwaway "date zero.". And there has to be sex or at the very, very least heavy makeout on that first date for there to be a second. I have this practically down to a science now. It involves lots of pre-first-date screening and gaming. If you've done all that properly then the first date is a no-brainer. The hard work happens before the two of us even meet.

 

[Aristippus]

I was thinking, you can always meet up for drinks instead or change the place. If you wanted to grab a bite to eat, you could always make it some place that costs less. There's an old saying "Beggars can't be choosers.". In this case, if she's the beggar and you're the one paying, she has no choice in the matter.

You need to TAKE CONTROL. This is meant to be fun. So you can be a little flexible. If she hates coffee, then you don't have to force her to drink coffee. She can order the hot chocolate. If you hate paying lots of $$ on a date, and since she is your guest, then I suggest you pick something suited to your budget.

If you want it to be casual but choose not to meet her for coffee, you can get together for lunch instead. And you can go ANYWHERE you choose. You can take her to a fast food place if you want. It doesn't matter. Or to one of these places that are a step up from a regular fast food place and a step below Applebee's.

You need to test her flexibility and interest level. You also have no idea what she's like so pay attention to her behaviors. And if she offers to pay half of the tab, accept the offer and thank her. If she didn't offer to help with the bill, on future dates observe and see if she ever offers. You're testing to see if she's a giver or a taker.

Also, ALWAYS PAY IN CASH! There's a reason I suggest this. No, it's not to impress a woman. For some reason, it's like the reality that you're spending money on them doesn't hit them as much if you're using a card. You use cash so the reality hits her. She SEES money changing hands. If she's a giver she'll start to feel like she needs at some point to contribute. She has to be willing to work for it too. It doesn't need to be one-sided, where you're putting forth all the effort and she isn't.

Also, if she suggests Applebee's, you pick something else to test her interest in meeting you. Suggest the other place YOU chose. Does she reject the idea? At most suggest a 3rd place if she rejects idea 2. If she doesn't like the 3rd idea, tell her "Maybe we'll get together another time." and then DON'T contact her again. She'll be too much of a hassle to deal with.

I actually tested a woman in a similar way once. We met at a bar. A week later we met up somewhere I chose. SHE said she didn't want to go there after we had already agreed on the place and switched venues as soon as we met for our "date". Strike 1. Then we were at the other place. I got her a drink. Then I payed for our first round on the pool table. She wanted to play a second round. I didn't offer to pay for the second round. It wasn't about the $. It was only 50 cents per game. I wanted to see if she'd catch the hint and offer to pay for the next round.

She said "I want to play another round but I don't want to pay for it!". Strike 2. Of course, I didn't pay for it. A friend of mine offered to pay for it. Well, 2 strikes were enough for me. We finished our date. I gave her a platonic hug and never called her again. You don't agree to a venue and then when we meet up switch the date around, especially when you're not the one paying for it. And if you're going to b*tch about paying 50 cents for a game after I bought you a drink and payed for our first game, you're definitely not a giver. You're a taker. And I don't waste my time on takers.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

I disagree. I only do drinks and maybe a small shared appetizer as a first date. My time is too valuable for a throwaway "date zero.". And there has to be sex or at the very, very least heavy makeout on that first date for there to be a second. I have this practically down to a science now. It involves lots of pre-first-date screening and gaming. If you've done all that properly then the first date is a no-brainer. The hard work happens before the two of us even meet.

All my dates are date zeros!

I don't do pre-dates, meet and greets with the intend to set up a future dates. For me, it all starts since the time we first meet, and before we ever meet.

I got my system down to a science too, and I agree, my "pre-dates" are all about advancing/escalating, not as a time wasters. Most of the time things happen right on our pre-date, or the very next time we meet, which often involves kickin it at my place. Agree also with it having to be sex or strong potential, in order for a second meeting. I don't do dates before sex, unless I want to take the long way/detour to sex, which I never do. I don't waste too much time before a pre date. Phone call/texts are efficient and with a purpose. Drinks/shared appetizers are for someone who is already qualified. Those would be part of a first "date", if I must use labels.

 

[Mike32ct]

The other guys covered it well. I have nothing to add about the dinner thing.

But I do agree with the Judge that this has a high probability of being a one date wonder.

If she says "It was nice meeting you" at the end of the date, delete her number and drive far, far away.

 

[PlayerUntilDeath]

No, I would not go on a "dinner date for a first date," ESPECIALLY if she suggested it or if she tried to change where I said we could go into a "dinner date." If she will only meet if it's a dinner date, then I will not be meeting her. A "dinner date" should be in a LTR, or if you've already gone out together a few times (then maybe something cheap and quick).