Would you feel sorry for an ex?

[phil2015]

I'm wondering if any of you have ever felt sorry for an ex, even if it was her who broke up with you.

I was dumped by text 2 months ago. She walked out on me whilst I was at work

The reason I ask this; I put some thought into my situation with my recent ex which some of you have read/heard about on here. The way I see it is this;

I own my own home, car, high-paying job, plenty of money and generally done okay for myself in life. I'm free to make all of my own choices, don't struggle with women and have begun seeing a woman who is of higher quality than my ex.

My ex however, has gone back to live at her mothers. She is 36 in a month, doesn't drive, on a low paying job, few options in life, has a history of being used/abused/'pumped and dumped'/strung along by men etc, men before me have been abusive and generally only wanted her for sex (she was amazed that our relationship reached 2 months) I'm NC with her now but last time we spoke she said she was struggling to eat, train, sleep, still thinking/talking about me to everyone, horrible IBS.....

When I compare our two situations, I'm very thankful and realise how lucky I have been in life.

Yet I have an overwhelming sense of sorrow or pity for her to have ended up in this position :-(

has anyone else felt/experienced this?

 

[17 shots]

Nope, their loss. She should of acted right when she had you. Let her momma feel sorry for her ass. I saw what u said about her in another thread. Phil don't you ever again in your life entertain this chick. Don't use pity as a way of rationalizing her actions

 

[Roober]

Nope. She had her chance and she fvcked it up. I hope they end up getting knocked up, on drugs, or alone and miserable...

 

[FairShake]

I would feel sorry for an ex in said position on a purely humane level.

But not after only two months. My grudges last longer than that.

 

[lizardking82]

Oh, yeah. I felt sorry for her since the moment she left me because she ain't probably finding someone else with my qualities that would love her the way I did. Had my eyes set on this and I would not have left her had she not strayed away herself, but yeah, there was no happiness in her eyes since after that. I used to watch her social media and she felt kinda free at the beginning, but her eyes, man...her eyes are, to this day, crying and sad. She does different things in life, she's a model, started Arts university back in October and seems to have finally found 2 girlfriends that she now calls "my girls" LOL, but her eyes are still lifeless, empty and sad.

When I wanna know how a person is feeling, I just need to look at a couple of pics of theirs lately. If a woman is not in awe, smiling from her eyes and looking sweet... that woman lacks a masculine presence in her life and the feeling of wilderness you get from looking at her or her pics? That is her getting on her masculine because she has to compensate for the lack of a strong male presence in her life.

However, do not let this mess with your mind is the only thing I would say that I have learned from it. Just because she is empty and sad does not mean you should go save her or some **** like that. Once she's done with you and you have tried everything you could to save the relationship, move on. Definitely move on.

 

[phil2015]

"not in awe, smiling from her eyes and looking sweet... that woman lacks a masculine presence in her life"

That's true, a very good rule of thumb.

Last time I saw my ex, she was gaunt, drawn in the face, pale and looked slightly foetal. Even her body language had altered, she was sat sort of coiled, arm folded and very closed off in nature.

 

[AlphaNate]

No.

 

[lizardking82]

"not in awe, smiling from her eyes and looking sweet... that woman lacks a masculine presence in her life"

That's true, a very good rule of thumb.

Last time I saw my ex, she was gaunt, drawn in the face, pale and looked slightly foetal. Even her body language had altered, she was sat sort of coiled, arm folded and very closed off in nature.

Always use that rule. People cannot hide what and how they feel inside no matter how hard they try. Their body will "sell them out" in some kind of way and the average person does not even know this, thus does not even try anything else other than maybe a fake smile where you can see through quite easily, I'd say.

On the other hand, if you see a guy that is smiling a lot and has dreamy eyes LOL that also means this guy has no feminine presence in his life AKA he ain't gettin' laid because he is getting onto his feminine LOL

 

[El Payaso]

Sounds more like your Captain Save a Hoe senses are tingling...

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I'm wondering if any of you have ever felt sorry for an ex, even if it was her who broke up with you.

I was dumped by text 2 months ago. She walked out on me whilst I was at work

The reason I ask this; I put some thought into my situation with my recent ex which some of you have read/heard about on here. The way I see it is this;

I own my own home, car, high-paying job, plenty of money and generally done okay for myself in life. I'm free to make all of my own choices, don't struggle with women and have begun seeing a woman who is of higher quality than my ex.

My ex however, has gone back to live at her mothers. She is 36 in a month, doesn't drive, on a low paying job, few options in life, has a history of being used/abused/'pumped and dumped'/strung along by men etc, men before me have been abusive and generally only wanted her for sex (she was amazed that our relationship reached 2 months) I'm NC with her now but last time we spoke she said she was struggling to eat, train, sleep, still thinking/talking about me to everyone, horrible IBS.....

When I compare our two situations, I'm very thankful and realise how lucky I have been in life.

Yet I have an overwhelming sense of sorrow or pity for her to have ended up in this position :-(

has anyone else felt/experienced this?

Don't feel sorry. Talk to her as a male friend in the same circumstance. She needs to take personal responsibility and accountability. She can climb out of this hole and be better than
she ever has, but SHE HAS TO OWN UP to putting herself in this place. Be her friend, don't feel sorry, and don't let her make excuses. In her position the worst thing she can do is
to be drunk on weed or high on alcohol, she should leave the mind altering things alone. And no men until she has herself in a position she can support herself. Dog her out about the men choices that she has chose for herself and look where it got her, that there are a bunch of decent men out there that get overlooked and will even screw and eat her better than a entitled alpha.

 

[AlphaNate]

Sounds more like your Captain Save a Hoe senses are tingling...

Have no fear! Professor Fix-a-b*tch is here!

 

[Krueg]

I've felt bad for some ex's...

One girl left me for some other guy then turned into a meth-head and ruined her life.

Another one hooked-up with some guy after we broke up, got pregnant and now she's a single mom and the "dad" wants nothing to do with her...

And the most recent one went back to her abusive, controlling, drug addicted, cheating ex-boyfriend. We hooked up a few times since the break up when things arent going well between them.

But oh well, I'm still a free bird with no baggage!!

 

[Trump]

Why would you ever feel sorry? This ex wouldn't mind if you were wiped off the face of the earth IF so she get could get all your resources. And you are going to feel sorry for her?

Come on guys, you hold down jobs and then think like this. Wake up.

 

[resilient]

phil... you're white knight colors are showing:

Don't be a white knight, brother. You're not a SJW. You're on the Don Juan Forum. Don't let her sulking body language, passive aggressive remarks, hovering moves rope you back into still caring. I've read a few of your threads and responded to some of your comments, you need to move on with your life. Focus and have fun with your new plate and spin more plates. Leave this ex BPD/NPD in the garbage where she belongs, stop defending her behavior.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

I think most of you guys misinterpret this.

Pity ≠ guilt. Remember that. Sometimes you can feel pity over them, I can understand that. But do not EVER feel guilty over it unless you truly have wronged her in some way.

Me myself, no I've never felt pity over a woman if she had a crappy life after leaving a good man. I personally stopped pitying people I general because I discovered that they can seek to abuse that. Especially homeless motherfvckers. The vast majority of them are purely the scum of society and think that you owe them something.

What I find nowadays though, is that if a woman has a crappy life, it's almost always because she did it to herself. Women have much more resources to go to for help and are much more desired in jobs, roommates, grant applicants, etc. than men. So if they are really struggling and going through a rough time, they've done it to themselves.

 

[phil2015]

And this is your responsibility, why?

Well not really my responsibility, but she had given up her flat so she could move in with me. It had taken about a year for her to save up/decorate get etc......She could only get one through a housing association because her credit rating was so low

Now shes back at her old bedroom at her mums

Kinda sad to see her go backwards

However if the situation was reversed, I know she would not care

 

[AlphaNate]

she had given up her flat so she could move in with me.

So?

It had taken about a year for her to save up/decorate get etc.....

So?

She could only get one through a housing association because her credit rating was so low

So?

Now shes back at her old bedroom at her mums

So?

However if the situation was reversed, I know she would not care

And you shouldn't either. Move on.

 

[Tony197]

Forgive her. Free yourself. Move on.

If you find yourself feeling sorry for her (or anyone who has complete volition over their life and choices), go volunteer at a homeless shelter or a veteran's hospital. That'll put things in perspective.

 

[wifehunter]