Would You Ever Pursue A Friend's Plate? Where Are The Boundaries?

[jamesfromhouston]

This year I was introduced to a new friend through a buddy of mine. This new friend often goes out with us with this sexy plate (that he is not exclusive with) but every time we've been out together, that plate has been giving me clear IOIs and showing IL. She even interacts with me on social media behind the scenes but I've always held myself back, kept a cap on it because of the "bro code". She is quite attractive and if it weren't for this new friend, I'd go after her immediately. I am sure it would be an easy close, secretly something I want but refrained myself from doing.

This new friend seems to be seeing several girls at once and recently to my disappointment, even pursued one of my broken plates, a girl that I slept with but stopped seeing. Although I wasn't exclusive with that girl, somehow I felt that was a low blow to me because I always took the "bro code" seriously and it felt like it extended to plates. But perhaps I am the one being the loser here, sticking by an immature or self limiting principle that limited my own options and clearly it doesn't apply to this guy. I don't want any bad blood with this guy but it seems he doesn't give a **** about my reaction.

I am still tempted to go after his plate but wonder whether my brothers at SS would actually go for it or stick to the higher road. What would you guys do?

 

[Chow Mein]

Mundays Mondays GIF - Mundays Mondays Monday - Discover & Share GIFs

Click to view the GIF

tenor.com

 

[Vanderdonck]

Why don't you just mention it to him and see what he says? If she's just a plate it shouldn't matter. If it would bother him he can say so.

 

[Learning Curve]

This year I was introduced to a new friend through a buddy of mine. This new friend often goes out with us with this sexy plate (that he is not exclusive with) but every time we've been out together, that plate has been giving me clear IOIs and showing IL. She even interacts with me on social media behind the scenes but I've always held myself back, kept a cap on it because of the "bro code". She is quite attractive and if it weren't for this new friend, I'd go after her immediately. I am sure it would be an easy close, secretly something I want but refrained myself from doing.

This new friend seems to be seeing several girls at once and recently to my disappointment, even pursued one of my broken plates, a girl that I slept with but stopped seeing. Although I wasn't exclusive with that girl, somehow I felt that was a low blow to me because I always took the "bro code" seriously and it felt like it extended to plates. But perhaps I am the one being the loser here, sticking by an immature or self limiting principle that limited my own options and clearly it doesn't apply to this guy. I don't want any bad blood with this guy but it seems he doesn't give a **** about my reaction.

I am still tempted to go after his plate but wonder whether my brothers at SS would actually go for it or stick to the higher road. What would you guys do?

This is a new friend, so it's not really a "bro" it's just a new connection you have made. But again you want to respect other people's boundaries in some way which is good, it shows integrity.

In such case, you should discuss this straight ahead with the guy. Tell him, that this new plate is approaching you and what he thinks about it. This is the best way to handle it.

1. He will either say "go for it" since he does not have a relationship with her, unless he has feelings for her which even if he does he lost the game because she is approaching you.
2. He will tell you not to approach her.

Either way you win.

 

[Gamisch]

No . No. No.

Fecking teach YOURSELF to gave boundaries dude. The two most likely ways for a man to get killed; money, women.

Sounds extreme but it's the truth. You also sound jealous and that's understandable because we tend to make a "harem" even from women we don't see anymore.

This is all the effect of "modern dating " where a man and woman are and do everything except "being exclusive. In an ideal world we would still ask women to go steady and call them our girlfriend untill we progress to maybe even more. Now all we have is situationships which allows women to enter/infiltrate your circle and cause havoc.

YOU should be far above this. Ofcourse she'll flirt with you. That's what women do. I don't wanna be rude but it akin to feminine energy.

This dude either can be a great connection regarding other areas in life, OR he's a liability that needs to go..but don't play the butthurt /revenge game because you'll lose either way!

Forget about her. Stop talking to her ( assuming she initiated convos..if not bro if you initiated convos...you are wrong AGAIN.

Practice frame. By having standards.

 

[Agamemnon43]

Did he know that the plate he pursued was yours?

If yes, then do the same to him. If not, don't, he is not at fault. Show respect and integrity.

Also be careful about her IOI's. Maybe she was just bored and wants to make you look like a fool in front of him.

 

[holidayad_]

I don't even like going up to the woman my friend is interested in at a bar or a party, imagine a chick he's already seeing.

 

[TheGambino]

Nah my rule is that I ask him for permission first. I don’t want my friends to go after a girl I dated also if I had feelings for her. If I don’t care do what you want.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

 

[BaronOfHair]

This year I was introduced to a new friend through a buddy of mine. This new friend often goes out with us with this sexy plate (that he is not exclusive with) but every time we've been out together, that plate has been giving me clear IOIs and showing IL. She even interacts with me on social media behind the scenes but I've always held myself back, kept a cap on it because of the "bro code". She is quite attractive and if it weren't for this new friend, I'd go after her immediately. I am sure it would be an easy close, secretly something I want but refrained myself from doing.

This new friend seems to be seeing several girls at once and recently to my disappointment, even pursued one of my broken plates, a girl that I slept with but stopped seeing. Although I wasn't exclusive with that girl, somehow I felt that was a low blow to me because I always took the "bro code" seriously and it felt like it extended to plates. But perhaps I am the one being the loser here, sticking by an immature or self limiting principle that limited my own options and clearly it doesn't apply to this guy. I don't want any bad blood with this guy but it seems he doesn't give a **** about my reaction.

I am still tempted to go after his plate but wonder whether my brothers at SS would actually go for it or stick to the higher road. What would you guys do?

You say you're familiar with The Bro Code. Now practice it

 

[Barrister]

You say you're familiar with The Bro Code. Now practice it

The other guys already nailed this. You simply ask him what his relationship is with her and tell him she has been giving clear signals she is interested in you. He likely will warn you about her (hence why he is just fvcking her and not something more) and then tell you to go for it. That has always been my experience when this happens. You get to have your cake and eat it too in this situation because you can show your new friendship respect while at the same time getting a green light to pursue her as a plate of your own.

Be warned, if you both are screwing her she may try to drive a wedge between you two. So be on alert for that.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Be warned, if you both are screwing her she may try to drive a wedge between you two. So be on alert for that.

The Bro Code, as I understand it, dictates: "We don't bed women friends and family members are currently boffing"

 

[Deranged]

Is there a shortage of younger hotter women in your area or something?

 

[Manure Spherian]

The designations of plate and girlfriend are inconsequential in nearly all cases (I’m not talking about future fiancés/wives). So I regard all as fair regarding them. Being ready to fight is required though.

 

[TheGambino]

A ho will always lure the friends of her plate in if the friend is as hot or hotter then her plate. Be aware and always bros before hoes. I could not take her serious in this situation.

 

[Solomon]

Why would want your "Friends" sloppy 2nds?

 

[Manure Spherian]

Why would want your "Friends" sloppy 2nds?

A plate is inherently sloppy.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Why don't you just mention it to him and see what he says? If she's just a plate it shouldn't matter. If it would bother him he can say so.

Unless the guy is a total cvck, it absolutely should matter. How would you respond if one of your friends came up to you and said “hey man, I know you’ve been banging this broad, do you mind if I have my turn with her”? What kind of a man would respond with approval to something like that?

 

[inquisitor]

I am still tempted to go after his plate but wonder whether my brothers at SS would actually go for it or stick to the higher road. What would you guys do?

Ask yourself what "friend" means to you.
Ask him about his exact relationship with her.
Ask yourself the possible consequences of pursuing this plate, if she's worth pursuing.
Ask her about her exact relationship with him.
Ask yourself what you want out of pursuing this plate.

Answer and discover these in clear and simple terms, and you'll get your clarity and your answers.

 

[Vanderdonck]

Unless the guy is a total cvck, it absolutely should matter. How would you respond if one of your friends came up to you and said “hey man, I know you’ve been banging this broad, do you mind if I have my turn with her”? What kind of a man would respond with approval to something like that?

A guy with options. If she's just a plate or the neighborhood bicycle, no player would care. Bros who have options laugh this sh*t off and don't catch feelz, esp. if the girl is throwing signals around.