Would you date a girl you're only half interested in?

[DharmaBear]

I'm recently back on the dating scene, and right away when this girl I work with found out I'm now single she's started flirting with me. She's a very, very sweet girl, and moderately attractive (6.5 - 7), but frankly I'm not super interested in her. I've worked with her for a couple of years now, so I know where my own IL is here.

But...on the flip side is the fact that I need to get out in front of women and dating women as much as possible following a recent break from my ex. Plus, I think there are odds here that I could get laid - always a bonus.

My dilemma: Would you guys spend any of your precious time on a girl who you're only mildly interested in, for no other reason than to boost your ego and possibly get in the sack, or would you only focus on improving yourself and on meeting girls who you KNOW you're interested in?

-Dharma

 

[amoka]

Remember in DJ world, there are three options available in relation to woman:
1. Date her
2. No date
3. Fvck-buddy. Yup, try creating a FB and if you succeed, great. If not, forget about her. One thing I tell the ladies when I know they are interested in me and yet the don't want to get laid before you committing to them is " I do not date women I don't have sex with". That works like a charm. If she is interested in you, she'll drop her pants for you right there.....

 

[PeeGee]

I see two problems. One is that as far as we know, there's nothing wrong with this girl (except you aren't jumping over your desk to get at her). The other is that you're not crazy over her, but you aren't disgusted by her. So as far as I'm concerned, she's casual dating / casual sex material.

So far so good? My advice: ask her out, see where it goes. If you find better, up to you how you want to go from there.

 

[STR8UP]

Women do it all the time, why not?

But you gotta weigh out the effort versus the potential reward. That's a big part of the reason why I'm rollin' solo lately. I just don't see any of the situations that are in front of me being worth the time and effort.

 

[Deep Dish]

Time is the most important thing in life. You can strip me of my money, you can strip me of my housing, but I will never get back my time. All women are crazy, all cause problems, and so with any woman the question is always, "How much extra craziness does she have?," and ultimately, "Does she solve more problems than she creates?"

 

[Rudra]

...when this girl I work with found out I'm now single she's started flirting with me...I've worked with her for a couple of years now, so I know where my own IL is here.
-Dharma

Never ever date a girl from work, as has been discussed countless times. You are entering a mine field here and for lots of reasons could end up with one foot. This especially in the US is a bad bad idea. Do a forum search and read into it. And then forget about it.

 

[DharmaBear]

Hey guys, thanks for the all the helpful advice. I see a middle ground here, and I think this is what I'll do: I'll do a little light flirting back at her, and if her IL remains up then I'll practice my game on her in terms of EC, kino, etc. Just to help get my ego up and back in the game. At most, I'll ask her to hang after work for a couple of drinks. But I'll be careful not to push it more than that - because I'd hate to get with her or date her and then dump her (which I'd almost assuredly do, eventually), and also because I don't want any problems at work!

-Dharma

 

[Hitman10000]

Don't pick up chicks at the same place where the both of you work. If she was working on another floor or better yet a couple floors away from you or at a different suite - great! Go for it. Also if you're somewhat interested in her, that's fine. A lot of people date other people that were 50/50 only to find out either 1. She's too incompatible or 2. She's really compatible.

 

[Chrispy]

I know it is tempting to go out with chicks at the workplace, but your exit strategy is severely limited! If you do decide to do this, keep it a complete secret from anyone else. Also keep it casual.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Would you date a girl you were only half interested in?

Yo Dharma,



My answer is NO...I wouldn't. And here's why:

I have found that there are usually only one of TWO reasons why a man would date, fukk, or flirt with women he's only half interested in-----He is either BORED, or he has fallen prey to a SCARCITY MENTALITY.

Inability to, or unwillingness to do the things necessary to approach more women usually falls under one of these two categories. And living IN, and/or frequenting environments where the babes worthy of PRIORITY PURSUIT are HARD to come by really lend themselves to us falling prey to the scarcity mentality thing. This is when men start to embark on TRIVIAL PURSUITS---women he is only HALF interested in.

I've been there, man. MANY of us have been there, I'm sure. I, PERSONALLY, have always regretted decisions I've made while in that state of mind----if not immediately following the hook-up, DEFINITELY somewhere down the line. Evidence that I know this is true for me occurs that when it's over, and the women leave my life----I breathe a sigh of relief because I'm GLAD they're gone. I'm not BIG on casual flings, but I HAVE tried them before, so I do know a little about them.

And here's what I KNOW: The ending of a "casual fling" should NOT leave you feeling like you just DODGED A BULLET.

But I've found that these DRY periods are just a cycle. So I just "stay on the wheel" until higher caliber targets of opportunity start appearing on my radar----then it's OPEN SEASON again.

My advice to you would be for you to CONSIDER doing the same. Not many people, male or female, really want to be treated like a CONSOLATION prize-----but rather THE prize.

Sure, MOST people DO engage in these "nothing" type "relationships". And I've also found that this is usually the type of shyt that women do MORE often than men, but I think MATURE men can aim HIGHER than this----if we WANT to.

So before you start fukking around with chicks at work that DON'T even "inspire" you enough to give you an instant BONER, it might be a good idea to run a gut check. See if boredom, the scarcity mentality, or RATIONALITY are driving your actions---------then make a conscious CHOICE of WHO you will SERVE, soldier.



Peace...one day.

 

[Mindtrust]

I always fall into this kind of situation when just coming out of a relationship..

I hook up with women out of desperation, just to get out there and get involved again, and also to take my mind off my previous partner

It rarely has any lasting effects and leads to disapointment when the novelty wear's off

It does though have one advantage, and that is it's actually getting you back out there doing what you should be.. Its a strange one.

It is hard though to just wait in the winds, until you think you have found someone upto your standards.

When there are blatant oportunites infront of you..

Mindtrust.

 

[RedPill]

No.

Life's too short for that sh1t.

 

[belividere]

I would, but not one that I work with. I dont find it wrong to go out and enjoy the company of someone who I'm not enthralled with but I dont try to lead them on either.

If you have mutual friends at work try setting up a Friday happy hour were things are light. Get back out there and try to find other options that you actually are interested in.

 

[violator]

Used to. Not anymore. I just don't have the time to date women I am not really interested. I agree that this is what women usually do when they are bored. The thought of going through all the ritual in dating with someone that does not inspire you really is not appealing and I see it as a waste of time and money even in times of boredom and scarcity. I would rather much sit home and play with my xbox or watch a good movie. Or if I am horny, I would avoid the dating altogether and have the girl come over just to fyck. No effort, no wasted time.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Women do it all the time, why not?

But you gotta weigh out the effort versus the potential reward. That's a big part of the reason why I'm rollin' solo lately. I just don't see any of the situations that are in front of me being worth the time and effort.

Yeah, but that's women with nothing else better to do and they look for men to entertain them. Those are typically the ones who are easily distracted and will jump from guy to guy as their interest changes. Guys need to ask themselves whether they fit into the same mold if they are considering to act similarly.

 

[Mindtrust]

I see most of the people posting would take this as a no he shudnt entertain a women he is only half interested in..

So is it wrong to get back out there and take your mind off a break up, even if it is for fun and maybe have sex at the end of it, so long as the women know's where she stands.. Nothing exclusive.

In my case i dont dwell on these women and i am always looking for someone better in the mean time.

You could wait a hell of a long time for someone with your standards to come along in my experience's.

I know there is other kind of stuff you can do like improve yourself to fill in the time barrier and take your mind off bad thoughts you maybe suffering from, but is this really a bad decision?

Feedback people?

Mindtrust.

 

[STR8UP]

The biggest problem with messing around with chicks you don't have a lot of interest in is, as we all know, that HER interest is usually going to be inverse of yours (you do all the RIGHT things with a woman you don't care much for) and it can create a potentially sticky situation when she's all up on you.

That's why I've been careful lately not to cross that line with some of the women I know. First you ask them to go see a movie or hang out one on one (as a friend), they get see your wonderful DJ persona in all its glory, and next thing you know they wanna have babies with you. Uh uh, no way jose.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...So is it wrong to get back out there and take your mind off a break up, even if it is for fun and maybe have sex at the end of it, so long as the women know's where she stands.. Nothing exclusive.....

In my opinion, that's not dating.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

The biggest problem with messing around with chicks you don't have a lot of interest in is, as we all know, that HER interest is usually going to be inverse of yours (you do all the RIGHT things with a woman you don't care much for) and it can create a potentially sticky situation when she's all up on you.

That's why I've been careful lately not to cross that line with some of the women I know. First you ask them to go see a movie or hang out one on one (as a friend), they get see your wonderful DJ persona in all its glory, and next thing you know they wanna have babies with you. Uh uh, no way jose.

Very true. This becomes an issue if the guy alludes to their interactions as being along the lines of dating and growing toward a full blown relationship. Don't treat it like something it's not and you shouldn't have a problem.

 

[Mindtrust]

In my opinion, that's not dating.

Yeah you right Francisco it isnt dating..

But do you realise where i am coming from, its sort of a simular situation us men can fall into?

Mindtrust.