Would you be mad if....

[locrian]

Originally posted by Survivor:

After you've dumped her, I seriously suggest taking time out to re-evaluate the four month relationship and figure out where, when, and why she lost respect for you.

Figure out what you did wrong and vow to never make that mistake with your future girlfriends.

Well put!

The only mistake we should be afraid of is the one we don't learn from...




[Note: This message has been edited by sosuave.com]

 

[terminator911]

F*ck what she wants! Think about what YOU want man, ALWAYS put yourself first and the woman second.

Listen, I know it's been said here already, but just by the fact that she has even considered going away with this guy when she's involved with you means that she has already disrespected you.

Would you benice to someone who disrespected you? I think not. NEVER trust anyone but yourself. Don't talk about this with her, but if she brings it up again, say like Doc Love suggests: "Have a good time" and never return her calls again.

If you let her go and still get back with her when she gets back, she will do whatever the hell she pleases, as you have shown her that she can do to you whatever she wants, and you are going to stay with her no matter what she does to you.

RESPECT, that's what is all about. You have to respect yourself and love yourself before any woman. Think about what you want and you'll be able to figure out what to do. If you want to be with a woman that considers you a loser that let's her do whatever she wants and still be with her, then go ahead and let her go with the guy.

Just my .2 cents.
"Oh Anti-Dump, where are thou"?

 

[Survivor]

Originally posted by terminator911:
...just by the fact that she has even considered going away with this guy when she's involved with you means that she has already disrespected you.

That's exactly the point I'm trying to make.

Rookie, I can't stress this enough. PLEASE FIGURE OUT WHAT CAUSED HER TO LOSE RESPECT FOR YOU SO YOU WON'T HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN! MAKE ADJUSTMENTS TO YOUR BEHAVIOR SO THAT YOUR NEXT GIRLFRIEND WILL HAVE MORE RESPECT FOR YOU.

Doing that will solve your problem for good.


[This message has been edited by Survivor (edited 05-19-2001).]

 

[Shadow]

I think I can speak from experience on this. I had a friend who was dating this girl who was entirely self centered and a user. People I knew had known this girl in the past and told me about the crap she pulled. [Her name is Stephanie Ho -she's cantonese, LOVES hello kitty....just to warn anyone out there to stay away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

I tried to warn my friend about her but he wouldn't listen and said all that stuff was in the past and she's changed.......he later found out that was WRONG!

She had an ex-boyfriend for 7 years who she had broken up with and who was now teaching at a college in houston and pretty well off finacially. He had invited her down to his house in Texas for Christmas and New Years [oh and HE PAID for the ticket and sent it to her]. And my friend knew this when they met and started going out. She claimed that they were "just friends"....and he was stupid enough to believe her.

Well christmas came and he and stephanie had been living together for 3 months by this time. I had told him I had a bad feeling about this and that I thought she might sleep with him, and that I also had a feeling all she had to do was say she "didn't do it" and he'd believe her...I told him this.

I felt it was odd that she'd want to go see her ex-boyfriend during the holidays you spend with those you love most....like your boyfriend....

She came back [she NEVER called him or contacted him at ALL during the trip] and he confronted her about it. She of course said I "didnt do it" and he believed her.

It wasnt until 3 weeks later when they broke up that IT ALL CAME OUT! And we of course found out SHE HAD!

And thats when he started staying with me because of her he didn't have a house anymore...but I digress..

THIS CENARIO NEVER WORKS OUT!!!! CAN ANYONE ATTEST TO A TIME THEY LET THEIR GIRLFRIEND GO WITH ANOTHER GUY ON A TRIP AND NOT BROKEN UP A WHILE AFTER??

------------------
It's not who's wrong or right, but who's stronger.

 

[BGC]

Kind of been said, but an addition to what I said earlier and perhaps a synthesis of everything people have said:

The Doc Love line, "Have a good time," is great. Really great.

But you've got to INDIRECTLY let her know that you don't like it.

You know sometimes people will say, "Oh, no problem, no problem," when really they're telling you it is a problem?

So I think you say something like how you wouldn't do a thing like that, and then say have a good time.

But the point is -- which I don't know if anyone has said -- DON'T BREAK UP WITH HER!!!

THAT'S WHAT SHE WANTS YOU DO!

String her along. True, don't RETURN her calls, but talk to her if she calls, enough maybe to have her come over for sex.

AND THEN ALL THE WHILE YOU'RE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE NEW. Don't drop any more money on her. Just sex.

Because the thing is, CHICKS ARE VERY SLY when it comes to this sort of thing.

How ingenious of a chick to realize that if she wants to break up with a guy, SHE DOES NOT HAVE TO BE THE ONE DO IT.

She can just do something outrageous, and then COUNT ON YOU TO DO THE BREAKING UP.

FUKK HER. DON'T BREAK UP WITH HER. USE HER FOR SEX WHILE YOU'RE LOOKING FOR ANOTHER BRAWD.

 

[Survivor]

Wow BGC,

Come to think of it, thats not a bad idea!

 

[NEANDERTHAL SUPERSOLDIER]

CALLING ROOKIE, U OUT THERE. Um, how about u tell us what u did and what happened.

 

[Lexomatic]

Originally posted by BGC:
FUKK HER. DON'T BREAK UP WITH HER. USE HER FOR SEX WHILE YOU'RE LOOKING FOR ANOTHER BRAWD.

You know, I hadn't even thought of this approach. It's such a prick of a thing to do. I love it, I love it a lot. This site might kill the nice guy in me yet

 

[ACTION]

Originally posted by Lexomatic:
You know, I hadn't even thought of this approach. It's such a prick of a thing to do. I love it, I love it a lot. This site might kill the nice guy in me yet

Hey, why don't I get any credit for this? I'm ALWAYS telling all of ya'll niggas on this board to FUKK THE BYTCH -- ALWAYS, ALWAYS!

(If you missed it, don't worry, I'll say it again sometime.)

 

[Albion]

There are two huge things which would make a difference here. Once is the length of your relationship. Four months just isn't long enough to implicitly trust a woman to go to such a romantic spot with another guy. The second thing is age. If she's in her late teens to early twenties I would have a hard time believing that she would be faithful with him.

I would say this, "If you go with him, I will not be here when you get back..." Don't be a *****, you know why he wants her to go and she probably does too. You've read all the crap, you know what www.fastseduction.com shows.

She may be thinking, "Wow, first time in Hawaii... This should be fun... He's probably going to try to get into my pants, but I won't let him..." But, when you add her, a VERY romantic spot, and a guy who wants to get into her pants I think you'll be left in the dust.

If she really likes you then she won't go. If she doesn't go I would reward her by saying, "On my next vacation, I'll take you to Hawaii." BUT, I would only say that after she told me she wasn't going.

-al

 

[swigue]

Originally posted by BGC:

Guys who are "friends" with chicks are either a) gay; b) deluded in thinking they can turn the friendship into romance, boning, etc.; c) too pusssy to say that they want her, and are waiting for the "right time;"

Nonetheless, "guy friends" are suitors to a chick, no two ways about it.

I've told my girlfriend as much, and I've kind of made it clear I don't like the idea of her hanging around this one guy friends she's got.

Sorry BGC, can't agree with this. I guess I know what you mean but I don't think its so cut and dry.

Basically what you're saying is that a woman is without value if you're not going to be boning her?

I have chick friends who I don't want to bone but honestly like hanging out with. Of course, I admit that that I also have ones I want to, but not ALL of them.

I think that's a dangerous way of thinking for a DJ.b/c
1) it shows insecurity. If your girlfriend likes you, you don't really need to worry about other guys, right? Even if they are pressing up on her.

2) For the younger guys here it takes away one of the most essential realizations you have to come to: That women are not "mysterious" beings, just people who can easily be approached and spoken to. When guys only view girls as dating material, they hang w/ all guys and never get used to talking to women. They start trying desperate "tactics" instead of just being themselves.

So, I agree with you that a lot of guys who are supposedly "friends" with girls want to bone them.However I don't think its always true, and it shows a lack of confidence on our part if we suspect it. If a girl has a high IL it shouldn't make a difference.

 

[dorian_gray-from.usa]

Originally posted by terminator911:


Listen, ......she has already disrespected you.

Wise words, however there is THIRD option.

Think of the most head-tripping, selfish person you know. But this one has a set of
ovary's. THATS IT ! THAT THE DIFFERENCE!

OPTION 3: She never was going on a trip,
only reason she said that was to use it as leverage to put you down
over your current life(style) and mode of
standard of living. If this really is a head trip,


NOW, you will have to think about the next
woman you see walking across the street, or
at the social outing you goto, or the church
you attend, or the other freinds you go out with, or the Dance class you have started -
to find that true, real SWEET heart.

The real her is out there waiting for you to
ask "what is your name?" and ask for that
new number.

This one you have NOW, is mixed luke warm.

PROTECT YOUR HEART!

 

[rookie]

Guys -

Thanks for the many many responses. I know this is going to disappoint all of you, but the reason I posted this situation was not because my gf actually did this to me, but because she was in this situation in the past with one of her ex's and she asked me what i thought. more of a discussion than anything else, but the situation made me think. it was the first time i questioned the character of my girlfriend, and i wanted to know if i was right in thinking this. apparently you all agree it is a screwed up way to think. judging by the number of responses and how different they are, it's pretty obvious to me that there isn't a cut and dried way of handling the situation. anyway, when she asked me, my response to her was i wouldn't care if she went or not and that i would trust her completely. even though that was a total lie and i knew it, i was in bed with her naked when she asked and i figured it wasn't a good time to get in an argument with her. on the other hand, when i bring it up with my buddies, i tell them that if she ever asked me to let her go to hawaii with a "guy friend", i'd let her go, but i'd consider the relationship over and i'd be hitting the bars looking for someone else the minute she left. most of my friends agree with that too. in my gf's defense, she is honestly one of those people who truly believes a guy and a girl can be totally platonic friends. i think most of us would agree that if she asked to go away with a female friend, nobody would object. that was her argument. she views her male and female friends as the same. i still think she's wrong because she would be putting her own interests ahead of her bf's feeling....but i do believe it's more because she is naive than anything else. man, we all know that guy was trying to get laid! she doesn't believe that. when she asked her ex if she could go, he took the approach of "are you crazy? no f%cking way!" and they had a huge fight. in the end, she didn't go on the trip.

anyway, thanks for all your posts. apparently this topic was pretty fun for you guys.

 

[SoSuave.com]

bump

 

[BeyondII]

This thread was very educational! I think this should be added to the tips section for how to handle disrespect from your girl.

 

[Disconnect]

BIZZUMP!!!

Anyways, awesome thread. I read all of it, and learned so much from it.

1 - go with your gut. It's prolly right.

2 - guys never want to be just friends. Watch out.

3 - (obvious) If a girl wants to spend romantic time (date, trip) with another guy when you 2 are involved in a relationship, its a bad sign

4 - Girls will try to fvck with your head to make you dump her, so you're seen as the bad guy.

5 - this, it's more beneficial to keeping her around for sex, while looking for someone else.

6 - Don't be a **** when letting your feelings be known, but don't be overly controlling. Let her know that no one's holding her in a relationship, and she always has a choice. Going on such a trip makes that choicel.

Those are the obvious ones.

So, I agree with you that a lot of guys who are supposedly "friends" with girls want to bone them.However I don't think its always true, and it shows a lack of confidence on our part if we suspect it. If a girl has a high IL it shouldn't make a difference.

The first part is true, while the latter is A1 bullshyt. If a girl has high il in you, she wouldn't want to spend time with another guy.