I'm "just friends" with hot women IF they have other things to offer me. For example, I knew a chick once who wouldn't sleep with me but got her friend to. Know another chick who is hot, has a boyfriend, but plays tennis with me. I love tennis and don't have a partner so this works.
If they're adding value to your life, keep 'em around. If not, find out something they can do for you to stay in your life. If they refuse or are unable to fill a role that your want or need, then get rid of them.[/quote]this is very solid advice
I used to be of the quib that you couldn't, then I ran into a string of women. 2 in particular. This was not that long ago, maybe 1 year ago actually when i was still going to AA. the first was amanda. she was a few years older than me, a body that only michanelango sulpted, perfection. Every bit a D cup, maybe a size wist, leggy, red head, sassy. not a guy here that wouldn't have tagged the **** out of that.
NOw, being perfectly honest, when we first met there was instant attraction between us. she flirted with me like a jr high girl, and while it made me uncomfortable becuase i was seeing someone, truth be told, i reall didn't go out of my way to stop her lol. she would play footsie with me and **** all through meetings. she would get pissy when i didn't sit next to her. she was hot lol. it was so bad that everyone there assumed we were an item, and when i brought my GF up there one day everyone thought i was cheating on her.
we "lasted" for about 5 months. Great gal. she's going to make someone a good wife, she is a woman and under any other circumstances, i would have sapped her up. But she added to my life, she was hard core, still is, in AA, she was my gym partner for a while, i made her lose a good 10 pounds, which made it worse because she was hot before, then she got down to like a size 4 and i was like.. damn. the day i knew that it was probably time to leave this alone, we went to the gym and she needed, we both eneded to take a shower, so we went to her house and she came out of the shower with nothing but a towel on.. i damn near nutted on myself lol. in 3 years that's the cloest i came to cheating on my GF at that moment, as chris rock says,k you know, i can stop chasing *****, but when it's chasing me, i can only run so fast. she knew what she was doing too. it was a test. i felt so bad about the situation i told my fiancee exactly what happened, and told her look, i'm going to cut her lose. my fiancee, not being born yesterday, saw that i took a liking to her, but at the same time, knew nothing was going to happen, and didn't force the issue becuase she saw that she actually added **** to my life. when i needed to vent i'd give her a call and she would talk sense into me, etc. she introduced me to some neat people in AA, she was just a cool cat. eventually it ended, she got tired of "wasting her time" with me (i wasn't leaving my GF) and one day she just asked me what was going to happen between us and i just cut her lose, but she is a great gal, no ill will at all, and it was about the time i started toying iwth the idea of proposing to my GF and i said well, if you are, this type of relationship probably isn't right lol.
anotgher was Stephanie, 19 years old, again, in AA (while i defiantly earned my seat in AA, my god there are some smoking hot women in recovery you would be surprised). i never took her seriously but she was very pretty, very. i thought of her more like a sister which made her want to spend more time with me, we'd go to lunch after meetings, go bowling with my fiancee and friends and **** like that, she hung on every word i said, if she went on a date with a guy she ran him by me.. at any time had i told her look i want to be with you she would have given it up right then.
you k now.. she really didn't add anything to my life lol, she was just cool and i had decided there was nothing there i already didn't' have and more, but we were cool and i was defiantly attracted to her.
the woman who did more for my recovery when i first got clean, is not ugly at all, and i'll be damned if someonet old me i couldn't' call her, we'd go to blows lol. and while she's not ugly, and she's told me before i'm very handsome, we dont' look at each other like that, at all.
i think the problem here is, that, just becu asxe i am attracted to a woman, doesn't mean i want to persue her. i didn't awnt to persue either of these two women. i can find a woman attractive and not necessarily want to **** her. my old oneitis told me multiple times she thought I was very handsome, but looked at me like a brother. i know this to be true becuase whenever she needed an armpeice i was her man.
now for instance, my old oneitis, i wanted to and did pursue and ended u being friends with, or ljbf. I will never again, be friend with a woman that I want to ****, and who doesn't' want to **** me.
but i as long as i don't' have any sexual desire to want to try to **** them i have no problem being friends, but out of respect to my woman unless a woman is seriously adding to my life i wont' just keep females laying around.
I supposed this attitude comes from having been around the block a few times with women. I don't have to play with every toy in the toy store anymore, there are some toys that peak my interest moreso than others however, those are the ones i play with. I can honestly say, while i found her very pretty, i never actually, wanted to put my **** inside amanda for instance (okay the towel incident..maybe lol but come on man i'm a man)
the type of woman my fiancee n eeds to be concerned with is the petite short haird artsy woman, chillin in barnes and noble reading..actually reading, not there to meet guys, ayn rand, listening to her walkman, drinking a honey latte, not paying a damn bit attention to the guys checking her out, with a lot of spunk. I like spunky women. This is why i think the hb rating scale is a piece ****, i'm not going to cheat on my hb 8 fiancee just becuase a woman might be more physically attractive, but the right combination of cuteness and spunk would drive me crazy. Those are women i would not even consider keeping around becuase i'd be too tempted.
