would you allow your gf to go on a trip?

[Desdinova]

Its all chess and she is a couple of moves from check mate.

Oh christ, not this again...

Dude, you're in a LTR. You've been with her for almost a year. You should have some kind of trust in her. Her IL is high, so there shouldn't be much worry there. Just keep yourself busy with your hobbies and interests while she's gone. She'll probably keep contact with you while she's gone.

Let her enjoy her holiday, and you enjoy yours. You'll have some time freed up to finish some of the projects you have laying around the house. Take advantage of the time you have. You're a Don Juan, you should have no problems filling up your time.

If things change when she comes back, that's when you worry.

 

[Skweints]

Originally posted by Desdinova
Oh christ, not this again...

Dude, you're in a LTR. You've been with her for almost a year. You should have some kind of trust in her. Her IL is high, so there shouldn't be much worry there. Just keep yourself busy with your hobbies and interests while she's gone. She'll probably keep contact with you while she's gone.

Let her enjoy her holiday, and you enjoy yours. You'll have some time freed up to finish some of the projects you have laying around the house. Take advantage of the time you have. You're a Don Juan, you should have no problems filling up your time.

If things change when she comes back, that's when you worry.

*PPPSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTT* I need some backup man... read the entire thread before you post...

Haha, but you're absolute right.

 

[Royal Elite]

Originally posted by Desdinova
Oh christ, not this again...

Dude, you're in a LTR. You've been with her for almost a year. You should have some kind of trust in her. Her IL is high, so there shouldn't be much worry there. Just keep yourself busy with your hobbies and interests while she's gone. She'll probably keep contact with you while she's gone.

Do you see the optimome words here "should" "probably", these are all things that said In my head it should look like this but in reality it looks like this. Reality is the only thing that matters, not what should be. She should stand by her man no matter what and respect his wishes, BUT she isnt. Only thing that matters is what you goal is. Your goal is too dump her your goal is to get what you want. You dont want her cheating on you, so the only thing you need to focus on is things to reduce those chances. Always be clear on your Goal!!!!!

 

[Skweints]

Originally posted by Royal Elite
Do you see the optimome words here "should" "probably", these are all things that said In my head it should look like this but in reality it looks like this. Reality is the only thing that matters, not what should be. She should stand by her man no matter what and respect his wishes, BUT she isnt. Only thing that matters is what you goal is. Your goal is too dump her your goal is to get what you want. You dont want her cheating on you, so the only thing you need to focus on is things to reduce those chances. Always be clear on your Goal!!!!!

Too much emphasis on her... again... like I said in my post above, if anybody else wants to take the time to read it....

 

[Desdinova]

She should stand by her man no matter what and respect his wishes, BUT she isnt.

You're taking "stand by her man" too figuratively. She can still "stand by him" while she's on her vacation. She'll do this by keeping in contact with him, and turning down other men's offers.

If anything, this will test her integrity to John.

 

[Royal Elite]

Originally posted by Desdinova
You're taking "stand by her man" too figuratively. She can still "stand by him" while she's on her vacation. She'll do this by keeping in contact with him, and turning down other men's offers.

If anything, this will test her integrity to John.

There are three type of people in this world-those that MAKE things happen, those that WATCH things happen, and those that wonder what the heck just happen.

The beauty of life is you get choose which one you want to be.

 

[Desdinova]

There are three type of people in this world-those that MAKE things happen, those that WATCH things happen, and those that wonder what the heck just happen.

So, if you control and manipulate other people around you, that's going to make your life better?

 

[Royal Elite]

Originally posted by Desdinova
So, if you control and manipulate other people around you, that's going to make your life better?

I repeat there are three type of people in this world:
Those that MAKE things happen, those that WATCH things happen, and those that wonder What just happen.

Its up to every individual to decide what type of person they want to be. I choose to be the type that MAKES things happen.

 

[NewMan]

This is a no brainer.

* Ultimatums DO NOT WORK - never issue one.

* You cannot posses another human being.



So what do you do?

You have as much fun as you possibly can with her BEFORE she leaves.

Fvck her brains out.

Laugh.

Experience - have a great time and DO NOT FOCUS on the fact that she's leaving.


Deal?

Now - a DJ should never sit around and WONDER what is going on with his girl.

This relationship is 8 months old - so it's still relatively early. But you still have to wonder why you were not invited (were you invited).

so - what you do is tell her the following:

"Honey - it sucks that your leaving. I'm going to miss you when your gone - but I understand that this is a great experience for you - and I want you to go there and have a blast - you deserve it. You know I (insert relative word here - love/care for/ like etc) you very much - and that makes this all the more difficult. 3 months is a long time - almost half the time we've been in our relationship - but I'm not going to sit at home and just wait on your return - I'm going to enjoy myself - and when you return in 3 months call me - and hopefully we will both be in the same position and we can continue where we left off - but I'm not going to make you any promises that I will still be here waiting for you."


You take the power back.

You are emotionally stronger.

You lay the rules down.

And you NEVER sit and wonder what the fvck (or who the fvck) she is DOING over there.

Never be played like a chump.

Never be the b#tch who waits around at home.

 

[Straydog]

Which country is going to exactly?

Italy? - People will hit on her constantly (but they can't speak English properly).

France? - They're good (but they hate Americans these days)

Scandinavia? - We've got the best looks, we're well educated, tall, blond, rich and blah blah (but we're all AFC..)

 

[Don Juanabbe]

It's funny Scandanavia and Canada are majorly socialist countries and we have a majorly AFC problem with our respective male populations. Just an observation.

As for the topic, Newman's answer is excellent. You don't 'allow' her to go, she goes and you deal with it.

 

[johnfjr]

Alright, I'm truly thankful I posted this. Your advice and talking this over with some pals has convinced me that I should not get in her way, and in fact I should encourage her trip. She had been talking about the trip for months and back then I encouraged it all the time, in fact I said I wanted her to go...it was only the other day that I let her know that 2 months was sort of a "long time", to which she felt disappointed, thinking that I could fall out of love with her and that shed be worrying about me the whole trip. I reassured her that this was not the case.

She did offer me to come but I have school, and she knows it would be impossible for me to go on that sort of vacation right now. I will give my best regards and tell her to have a great time. The break will test the strength of our relationship, and by letting her know that I encourage it will show her that I am strong and independent - a true character trait of a DJ that I forgot when I told her that 2 months was "a bit too long". Thanks guys!

 

[NewMan]

Just don't waste your time while she's gone.

Make sure you get out there and hook up with other chicks - but tell her first that you both are free and single.

 

[dirtymexican]

NO NO NO..... Damnit...! JOHN!!!!!

You can't reasure a girl that that you wont fall out of love!!!!! arrrggh damn...! You have make her feel insecure! you need to take the power back!!!

Newman said it best!!!! Its almost poetry!!!!

Honey - it sucks that your leaving. I'm going to miss you when your gone - but I understand that this is a great experience for you - and I want you to go there and have a blast - you deserve it. You know I (insert relative word here - love/care for/ like etc) you very much - and that makes this all the more difficult. 3 months is a long time - almost half the time we've been in our relationship - but I'm not going to sit at home and just wait on your return - I'm going to enjoy myself - and when you return in 3 months call me - and hopefully we will both be in the same position and we can continue where we left off - but I'm not going to make you any promises that I will still be here waiting for you."

She will certainly sh1t a brick from that comment! Freaking beautiful!!!!


I don't know about telling her that your free and clear... That may be a bit harsh and she will seek consolation from someone during her trip if she does go...

Definetly don't waste your time. Meet new people and if you hook up with another hottie than call your ex and tell her your free and clear.. Don't burn your bridges until you cross them...

 

[MacDiddy]

When you give a girl all the security she wants... what does she do???

Nobody is infallible.. Nobody is beyond temptation!!!

johnfjr: you're only encouraging her to go out and party hard and that is what she'll do coz its totally ok by you via your words...

MEN DO NOT simply WAIT FOR THEIR LOVERS!!!!!!

when you break it down, this is totally AFC and is supplication....

However, I do not know your situation completely but with what is on the surface, if you were more of a man, she'd have no hesitation in staying with you... however, she has made a judgement call that time spent overseas is more worthy than time spent with you...

 

[Skweints]

This is what I've been trying to say the entire time! DJs!!!! BACK UP YOUR FELLOW DJs!!!!

NEWMAN put it best, and dirtymexican was on spot too, and I agree with both 100%. Take OUR ADVICE, JOHN! Reread what I wrote, and you'll see it's on the exact same page.

F*ck guys... I'm gettin aggrivated over here.

 

[belividere]

what would you do if the roles were reversed?