Would a girl be offended in this convo?

[solo1]

I havent seen this girl in a couple weeks but i phone her up occasionally (but only for dates).

I thought I'd phone her up differently this time and get a min-chat going - maybe it was a bad idea since she's not much of a conversationlist, but after i hung up i feel i may have been a little too ****y considering that she's the shy type:

me: hex Z, whats up how was your week?
her: pretty good, I went jobbing at several places.
me: hey cool what place is your job at whatre you doing?
her: jogging!
me: oooh, jogging thought you said jobbing...haha where at? around the block?
her: blah blah (she speaks softly couldnt hear).
me: heh, you ever consider running across the bridge? that'll work you up.
her: blah blah, how was your week?
me: school and senior projects.
me: so how are those piano lessons going, learning anything?
her: Im still going but not learning anything.
me: (2 secs trying to think of something to say)...hmm, how about getting your cousin out of the picture and getting a tutor?
her: (silence, or she said something which i didnt hear)
me: hello? her: yea
me: hm...yup, school and piano lessons..yup you're a dork.
her: (again silence or she said something)
me: hello? her: blah blah
me: well anyway, we should really get together sometime. I've gotta get going, ill call you later in the week.

It's been awhile since i did the c&f/teasing stuff so I thought i'd try some over the phone. Im pretty sure she was silent at those times, but i dont know if she was offended or couldnt think of a comeback.
thoughts?

 

[Sp1kez]

Don't see much attraction there, sounds like you were quizzing her and then you slaped her in the face for no reason(the dork comment)......her answers were too direct, usually if a girl likes you she will keep the ball rolling and not wait for the next question

 

[solo1]

Well the dork comment was supposed to be a tease...if she takes it too literal, then it cant be helped. But i mean sometimes you never know what some is thinking, which is unfortunate.
i edited the convo - some things i forgot i left out.

but you might be right about her. ill call her later in the week and try to set that date up - if she's a no show then she's nexted.

 

[Vypros]

Wow, what an incredibly stilted conversation. I feel awkward and I wasn't even THERE.

I know that sounds harsh, but it's the truth. Sounds like you need to brush up on your social skills a little bit, because it sounds like you struggle to hold a conversation. It's alright, I don't mean to be harsh, but you oughtta look into some speech classes, or some acting classes just to break yourself outta that a little bit.

Secondly, I noticed that you had a little trouble hearing her. Granted if you don't hear her or you are hard of hearing or something (I don't know your situation), YOU think she'll understand. The reality, however, is that she won't. Any time you ask her to repeat something or you mishear her, she's not thinking "oh, he mush be hard of hearing", she's thinking "Why isn't he LISTENING to me?"

Because, to a woman, listening is such an important thing that if you have trouble hearing, she will think that you need to take the steps to fix that. Communication is huge to her, and if you are having her repeat everything she says, she's going to get annoyed. So pay more attention. If you think she speaks too softly, then ask her ass to speak up, because I garauntee she got frustrated as hell when you kept mishearing what she said.

 

[solo1]

I did ask her to speak louder during our convo because i was in the street, but it was still soft (she has a really soft voice). but youre right women do want a guy that listens.

Usually I have no problems conversing with people, but with her its a problem because -
A) she speaks softly which is hard for me to occasionally
B) It's usually me asking questions (showing interest) (basicaly me quizzing her like the other poster mentioned), it's tough to get a convo going smoothly if it's just 1 person making the effort.

But i figure this is normal for her to be conversing at her level hence why she doesnt have much friends.

It's funny...i heard from her friend say that she said we didnt do much talking on our last date and she didnt know what to talk about. funny yea...i made the effort that day to get conversatoins flowing, but all i got were 3 word answers or just smiles from her (and believe me, i can hear her very clearly in person). But regardless she's a very passive person.

 

[thickandcreamy]

I don't see the point of asking for advice here. If you're dating this girl, you're doing better than 99% of the guys who post on sosuave. I didn't bother to read through the entire conversation but a little teasing is fun for me and my girl every now and again.

Thick

 

[Charm&Style]

what the...

you did not use any c&f.

in fact, that was dead boring convo you had.

how boring can you possibly be to answer "nothing much is up with me, just school and senior projects" and then have the nerve to call her a dork.

BoooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOring.

calling her a dork over the phone is not teasing.

telling her to drop her couz and get a tutor is not smooth.

You Ask Toooo Many damn Questions.

If you were a girl would you possibly give the guy talking to you like this a chance..? HELL NO.

When she said she went jogging you couldve said "Good, i like a girl who stays in shape...so are you jogging to get rid of your extra lov handle? or is it your third chin? " now thats C&F.

may the force of Lameness not be with you.

 

[rrrrr]

I think you're doing neg-hits not being ****y/funny. Neg-hits are when you want to knock her off her high horse, shy, meek girls with little social skills don't need to be knocked off their high horse. If you get a bad response when you neg hit her, I'd stop it. She didn't laugh or say something like "no, you're the dork" when you insulted her.

 

[solo1]

well great, i feel like a total d!ck now.

I've been out of the dating scene for too long (almost a year), think i may need to sharpen my convo skills again. usually i never neg a girl, dont know what came over me. But you guys confirmed it i insulted her. guess ill see what happens, if i cant recover from this ill just move on.

 

[Dannyrt34]

Wow if that's C&F then I think I verbally abused a girl the other night.

There is no way that conversation offended her. If it did, it was because she was bored. Although you are right, no matter how good of a conversationalist you are, you can't hold down a convo unless the other person puts some effort into it also.

 

[Fenderules]

not to be an a-hole or anything but that was honestly very lame

 

[Vypros]

When she said she went jogging you couldve said "Good, i like a girl who stays in shape...so are you jogging to get rid of your extra lov handle? or is it your third chin? " now thats C&F.

If you are going to bust on someone for being boring, try to make your comments interesting at least or don't give a suggestion.

 

[knglerxt]

what the...

you did not use any c&f.

in fact, that was dead boring convo you had.

how boring can you possibly be to answer "nothing much is up with me, just school and senior projects" and then have the nerve to call her a dork.

BoooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOring.

calling her a dork over the phone is not teasing.

telling her to drop her couz and get a tutor is not smooth.

You Ask Toooo Many damn Questions.

If you were a girl would you possibly give the guy talking to you like this a chance..? HELL NO.

When she said she went jogging you couldve said "Good, i like a girl who stays in shape...so are you jogging to get rid of your extra lov handle? or is it your third chin? " now thats C&F.

may the force of Lameness not be with you.

This type of attitude is what's wrong with this site. What's so wrong with the way he responded? He answered her question. If a girl asked me something like that, that's the way I would've responded. If she wants some guy who has a ****y attitude and cracks jokes every minute, then *uck her. That C&F routine is just so fake.

 

[Charm&Style]

If you are going to bust on someone for being boring, try to make your comments interesting at least or don't give a suggestion.

This type of attitude is what's wrong with this site. What's so wrong with the way he responded? He answered her question. If a girl asked me something like that, that's the way I would've responded. If she wants some guy who has a ****y attitude and cracks jokes every minute, then *uck her. That C&F routine is just so fake.

you two keep up the same attitude you have and have fun spending your life with your d1ck in your hand and crying on this site about what to do with this girl and that girl while im gonna act exactly the way ive been acting which u think is fake,not funny, or what not and bang girls that u cant even dream about.

what u dont find funny a girl whose interested will, what you think is a fake routine will guess what, picking up girls is a fake routine. None of us were born will the gift of naturally picking up girls, we all adopted some sh!t into our game thus we are all fake then in regards to what your saying.



http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a264/HugoHoss/meandbaharnewyearspic.jpg
http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a2...26657_4627.jpg

 

[Vypros]

you two keep up the same attitude you have and have fun spending your life with your d1ck in your hand and crying on this site about what to do with this girl and that girl while im gonna act exactly the way ive been acting which u think is fake,not funny, or what not and bang girls that u cant even dream about.

what u dont find funny a girl whose interested will, what you think is a fake routine will guess what, picking up girls is a fake routine. None of us were born will the gift of naturally picking up girls, we all adopted some sh!t into our game thus we are all fake then in regards to what your saying.



http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a264/HugoHoss/meandbaharnewyearspic.jpg
http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a2...26657_4627.jpg

I've NEVER denied that the "fake" stuff doesn't work. I've ALWAYS said that Seduction material works like a charm. In fact, it's absolutely astonishing how some of the stuff works. I've never denied that at all.

What I HAVE said is that Seduction material is like putting a band-aid on a broken leg. You go through a who list of trainned ******d patterns (like neg-hits, displaying higher value, etc.) that are designed to elicit a response, and it works, it really does.

BUT...

Where does that leave you? The guy who had to come to a dating website to figure this stuff out (not busting on you personally, because I've read all the Seduction stuff myself, I've been there, DONE THAT). It leaves you with a form of Seduction, but lacking the POWER thereof!!!!

Imagine living a life where all of that stuff just comes natural. Imagine living a life where you don't actively focus on things like "should I be negging her" or do I need to tell her this story now or should I go or stay? Imagine a life where YOU are the prize and it's REAL!

It happens. It CAN happen. But it comes at a much greater price than the Seduction material. It really does. It's harder. It's more intense, but the end result is SO MUCH MORE FULFILLING! Because at the end of this, women are just one byproduct--a result--of all the rest of the stuff you are doing. They aren't even the main focus, but you meet with STRONGER results than you could possibly dream of using Seduction material.

It spreads into other areas of your life: career, family, finances, whatever! Improving the overall quality of your life.

To me, that's much more important than getting laid once in a while. The funny thing is, that the method *I* promote suggests that you deny yourself NOW, and then get more than you ever need LATER, whereas Seduction material says focus NOW, and lose out later. Because Seduction material teaches you how to PICK UP women. It does nothing to teach you how to keep her. You're not going to keep her by playing games. Keeping a girl, and maintaining a relationship goes beyond the games you play--which is why you have so many people here who can't understand where their girl broke up with them and asking how to get her back!

 

[CalmCoolAndConfident]

What are you a cop? Stop asking questions, conversations have very little questioning in them, if you can do it right. Heres how I go about it, ask the intinal question "so what you been upto" or along those lines, if she gives a stale answere, by which I mean there is no useable info in it, tell a story about something out of the ordinary that happend to you, if the story is boring spice it up. And when you tell a story make sure you no what her response will be, I like to go for the "and then what happend" or "OMG are you ok" <--- if you get this one and it has the OMG then you no there at least some feelings there for you. Spice you story up with something crazy at the end like aliens, or just something out of place and random, gets them laughing and makes it look like you are fun and that you are always joking around.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

neg-hits only apply when a girl has somewhat of an inflated ego. They help bring her down to reality so that you two are playing on a level field instead of her viewing herself as some goddess. If you use neg-hits on girls with low self-esteem, it will backfire and they will clam up on you.

 

[Raikojo17]

bro, try flirting wit her alittle bit man! talk, dont question. only question when nessesary. call her sexy. let her kno that u like her. talk about her man. dont talk about boring piano lessons and stuff.

 

[Miss]

- if she's a no show then she's nexted.

I don't mean any offence here, but "if she's a no-show" YOU were nexted. Correction. Don't take this personally, but I totally agree with Sp1kez.

One other thing, as a woman, yes, the way you're speaking to her there would totally turn me off, especially if I were shy. It seemed like a quiz cos she didn't offer anything up. You'd have to coax her and flirt a bit to make her feel safe. Either way, it's a lot of effort you may not be willing to give.

 

[danielzxc]

bro, try flirting wit her alittle bit man! talk, dont question. only question when nessesary. call her sexy. let her kno that u like her. talk about her man. dont talk about boring piano lessons and stuff.

Yeah, I agree. The point of convos really should be to get her to FEEL something. And in that case, why not just go for the jugular? They all wanna feel sexy, attractive, special etc. Just give it to them.

Easier said than done, I think, but still, that's the best to aim for. I'm not saying that when she picks up the phone "Hello?", you go straight into it "Hi. You're sexy". (Lol, that's not so bad actually, at least if you've had previous real life contact with her.) Just find some way to work some sexuality into the convo. yeah, I know, it's called "flirting", but go a bit deeper than just standard flirting, and get her to feel something good and PERSONAL about herself.

The more creative you can be about how u do this, the more you base it on something IN PARTICULAR about her, the more "real" it feels to her, and the more "unique" you will sound (and the hotter she will be for you).

Quick story. I had this chick once who used to bug me (playfully) to send her a "nice" text, to say something nice about her. (Why? Fkd if I know.) For weeks I never did, just ignored it, or busted on her about so brazenly fishing for compliments. Then one day, just for the hell of it, as a joke (so I thought), I sent her something really nice. Can't remember exactly what, but i ended with "you know, you really are special.." or something like that. Then some time later, when we were breaking up, she brought up that msg I sent her, "but what about me being special blah blah?" I go whadya mean? She said the text (that she still had saved). I go, 'oh man, I sent that as a joke cos u kept bugging me to say something nice about u..." She goes "OH! [offended tone] so I'm not special then?" Me, yeah yeah, you're special, but look, everyone's special... her "OHHH! [double offended]. Lol, what a way to devastate a girl...