Worst Dating Advice

[Georgepithyou]

"Just be yourself"

"Just wait around and she will come to you"

 

[metalwater]

Persistence is misunderstood. It does not mean being pushy or creepy. The best way I could decribe persistence as a positive trait is the extent to which your ego gets hurt from rejection. If you can be told no and internalize that as "not yet, no offense" then what does it matter how many times she says no before saying yes? But if you get butt hurt too easily over rejection (due to lack of other options) then you will give up too soon.

the idea is that girls will want sex with you right away if she likes you and not want to wait(some do; some don't). Similar to what men want. The kicker is that we want to believe that girl is only that way with us and not a bunch of others. is there a case where she wants to but doesn't quickly because she believes it is not proper behavior. in that case, persistence could be the right path. The kicker on that one is will she submit then to another that is also persistent.

 

[Deep State]

I agree and I think this happens quite often or used to at least outside of the SS crowd. I've talked to several married people about how they met and a good majority of the females I talked to all said that they weren't interested in their now husbands initially.

High mutual physical attraction may not have to be instant (love at first sight), but should come very early and very naturally once you start talking to her and interacting with her.

I have seen girls write that they like to be pursued, or even expect to be pursued, but I don't think that really works in the #metoo era. Or, to the extent that it does work, the girl was already interested, or at least intrigued.

It's fine to court a girl (dating), but in my experience, the girl has to be quite interested to even agree to a coffee date or to go out for an ice cream cone or to watch a movie.

It's fine to pursue a relationship - dating. I think it's risky and doesn't really work to pursue a first date - she probably just isn't interested.

 

[Henry Schweiss]

"So what if she's a single mother? You will learn to love her son as your own"

 

[Robert28]

“Single mothers make great girlfriends because they’re responsible and don’t play games”

 

[Mike32ct]

11. “The secret is to find a hot chick who doesn’t know she’s hot.”

12. “It’s better to go out on group dates with her/your friends around, rather than being alone with her.”

 

[Focal core]

Bro put up with her shyt, she will eventually cave in to you.

 

[TonyTenner]

Are you certain he is low value and she is high? Sometimes we can read the dynamic is off.
I cant tell you how many times a guy can paint himself Alpha while being with the guys anf beta while with the girl. Her anxiety says other wise when you hang out with them.

Patterns are easy to recognize but RP is definately a requirement.

In the 2 cases Im thinking of, I'm certain both men are very low value. In one case, whenever he has a girlfriend, he disappears from our friend group - complete dedication to the woman. In both cases, they have made a woman the focus of their lives, and even worse, as both are quite lazy, the woman is actually making more money.

I ask because one of these guys is a close relation and I want to somehow help him "before the trainwreck". So it helps to understand why these relationships seem to "work" - both relationships are 10+ years. It's only since being RPed that I see major trouble for these guys.

 

[RangerMIke]

I agree it doesn't work 98% of the time - but how do you explain when it does work? We all know couples where the guy chased and chased and eventually wore her down. My friend's ex is now with someone how chased for like 8 months. She's attractive and mid 20s. I know of another couple like that too. Being persistent is a terrible idea but the exceptions are hard to explain.

What @GioWolf said, plus timing. It wasn't that the guy was 'persistent' or anything he did, the chick changed... Something happened in her life to give the guy another look. I've seen it happen... it happened with my sister, she's been married to the same guy for 36 years... but before she married him, he chased after her for 2 years... IN COLLEGE... passing up any number of women, waiting on my sister. My sister was dating... you guessed it... a complete jerk (funny how that sh1t happens). One day... jerk boy did something that was the straw and Mary was gone... and there was John.... waiting like a little puppy.

It was NOTHING John did, Mary was just ready to move on. If John hadn't stopped his life, and just went on dating other girls... he would have gotten the same results... When Mary was available, he could have made a run at her and likely ended up in the same place... Only now, my sister controls the relationship, which is apparently fine with John... it's actually a pretty good relationship and it works for them, they compliment each other well. They have a business John is really good with the technical aspects and with customers: Mary runs the business... finances... hires and fires people. John couldn't fire anyone to save his life...

There is a difference between 'persistence' and "patience'. There is NOTHING wrong with being patient, in fact that can be a big turn on for women. Persistence is being locked into a goal and not allowing yourself to get distracted from what you want to achieve. Persistence is good when you are trying to do something that you can control (build a house... get your degree), but really sucks when you don't control it (i.e fishing, growing a tree).

Dating is like fishing, you toss in the line and you really shouldn't care what you pull in... if you don't like what you catch... toss it back in. But if you are trying to catch a particular 'fish'... well you turn into Captain Ahab.

 

[AttackFormation]

I agree and I think this happens quite often or used to at least outside of the SS crowd. I've talked to several married people about how they met and a good majority of the females I talked to all said that they weren't interested in their now husbands initially.

This can often go back to the fact that we always say that women don't know what they want. If you are just appearing as another avg guy or in front of her for looks only, she won't know what kind of guy you really are as you appear to be just like everyone else. She also can't gauge your interest and commitment level. However if you're persistent, you are basically shoving down her throat who you are and forcing her to get to know the real you and showing her that you are focused and committed to making it happen. There's a chance that she can like you more after she gets to know you(I'm talking about beyond the first few dates or weeks).

The problem with this (besides what we here on SS would say about being a desperate chump/orbiter) is that it clashes with the mainstream motto that "no means no", so it's a conflicting message.

-

For my general comment I think there are four fundamental sources of bad advice that everything in this thread will source back to:

1) Black pill. Pretending that women don't make sexual choices in men based on looks first and foremost - height, hair, face, frame, I guess tattoos and beards too.

2) Conflation. Conflating what works for Chad's looks and halo effect ("just show your face outside/on OLD bro, worked for me") and women ("just wait and they will come") with what works for men. Conflating platonic clown-like entertainment with emotional fluctuational excitement, the latter being the actual reason why the bad boys she keeps fvcking are just so 'exciting' aside from their hot looks (see #1).

3) Platonic behavior. Pretending that platonic behavior leads to sexual results, and that what women are aroused by is platonic behavior (like "being kind" or "making her laugh" or even "doing her favors" and so on). Bonus points if it's said that guys who behave like this, aren't like the hot guys she used to fvck, and are finally settled for by some mentally and physically washed up and perhaps even resentful woman, are the "real winners" who get her best (lol).

4) Respect and desire. Not teaching the most important behavioral advice about women that they need to feel respect for a man to feel desire, they respect strength, they despise weakness, and that they interpret not only spinelessness but also vulnerability as weakness.

 

[Lookatu]

High mutual physical attraction may not have to be instant (love at first sight), but should come very early and very naturally once you start talking to her and interacting with her.

I have seen girls write that they like to be pursued, or even expect to be pursued, but I don't think that really works in the #metoo era. Or, to the extent that it does work, the girl was already interested, or at least intrigued.

It's fine to court a girl (dating), but in my experience, the girl has to be quite interested to even agree to a coffee date or to go out for an ice cream cone or to watch a movie.

It's fine to pursue a relationship - dating. I think it's risky and doesn't really work to pursue a first date - she probably just isn't interested.

I agree in having to be quick in today's society. Pursuing is something that has mainly worked in the past before OLD.

We as a society have lost patience as technology has conditioned us into wanting everything, right away. Amazon is the worst offender in subliminally brainwashing society for that instant kick. Just like people expect packages to arrive next day, people are also expecting "love at first site" to happen on the first date or two. And just like buying a product off Amazon, they look through all the pics carefully, read the specs, and if even one thing is a little off when they meet a person, they wanna go into return mode, just like they do with products.

 

[Lookatu]

The problem with this (besides what we here on SS would say about being a desperate chump/orbiter) is that it clashes with the mainstream motto that "no means no", so it's a conflicting message.

I agree that it likely won't work in today's society, especially with the #metoo movement.

However, there will always be exceptions. I think gals with strong family, some red pill, grounded gals that are open minded may be candidates(they could come around if pumped and dumped enough and the guy remains in touch as more of a friend than a pursuant) but once again, in today's society, it's not too unlikely. I do have a female co-worker that told me she initially wasn't interested in her current husband and she is 35yo now.

But bottom line in SS community is being aware and not chasing. LOL

 

[metalwater]

I agree that it likely won't work in today's society, especially with the #metoo movement.

However, there will always be exceptions. I think gals with strong family, some red pill, grounded gals that are open minded may be candidates(they could come around if pumped and dumped enough and the guy remains in touch as more of a friend than a pursuant) but once again, in today's society, it's not too unlikely. I do have a female co-worker that told me she initially wasn't interested in her current husband and she is 35yo now.

But bottom line in SS community is being aware and not chasing. LOL

she had that conversation with you....

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Plenty of them. So guys need to quit with the looks excuse.

I feel like they used to be able to though. Game was very important in the past, we all knew ugly guys with slick azz game. Online dating changed things.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I didn’t want to know lol

Selfish of you to not desire that for them

 

[Lookatu]

she had that conversation with you....

If you know how to talk to girls and make them really comfortable, they will tell you EVERYTHING just like they talk to their best friends. I've learned a lot and have gotten a lot of insights from Gals and how they think.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

If you know how to talk to girls and make them really comfortable, they will tell you EVERYTHING just like they talk to their best friends. I've learned a lot and have gotten a lot of insights from Gals and how they think.

Did it help l you with women?

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

10. "She's just playing hard to get."

<Modern, state of the art advice in 1979>

Until she meets Chad. It's crappy old blue pill advice. The modern PUA equivalent of this is "her b1tch shield is up. You gotta break through" basically encouraging guys to jump through hoops and become dancing monkeys.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

We'll never know exactly how these exceptions pull it off. They might not even know or how to explain it. And I'm not sure it can be easily copied anyway, so I wouldn't worry about the exceptions.

It's easy to explain. He's the golden parachute/beta in waiting. I've seen it many times. One day she has an epiphany-she can't get chad to commit so she shacks up with a dweeb. It's ultimately beta game and she'll never truly desire you.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

This thread is hilarious btw. I'll add a few more.

"If she invites you in after the first date tell her you're not that kinda guy and you want to build something that will last."
-Complete BS, my buddy did this and got ghosted. If she invites you in give her the D.

On online dating "If she doesn't respond to your message she probably just became busy or she didn't see your message. Send her a few more messages before giving up."
-Complete BS, not once has sending repeated messages after getting ignored ever panned out.

On Online dating "Never send more than 1 message per day."
-Complete BS, when you're online you gotta strike while the iron is hot. You can chat, number close, and arrange dates within 1-2 days if you handle it right.

"It's o.k. to tell women you're a 27 year old virgin. They'll appreciate your honesty."
-Complete BS, if you're a late bloomer you gotta fake it til you make it. That's how I lost my V card.

"Hot women don't get approached much/have many options because guys are too intimidated to approach them. You'll stand out from the crowd by having the balls to approach."
-Complete BS, anyone who's spent time in field knows this is BS. Hot women get approached on a daily basis. Even women you would consider average looking get approached quite regularly.