It was a worsening case of One-itis that lead me here. At my age, not good. The worst part, didn't even know what One-itis was. Then you guys set me straight, some good advice and lot of reading and watching other posts.
From that point on, I have tried my best to not even bring up that ex. And more importantly, to give them as little thought as possible. There is no better feeling than about 2-4 weeks into getting over the sh!t when you actually catch yourself starting to wonder and then forcefully stop the thought process and redirect the mind to something more useful.
I learned (and in a bunch of cases, relearned) things to help in the future. And most important of all, finding back that confidence I p!ssed away getting fixated on something that wasn't supposed to be.
For the extreme cases on One-itis I think the biggest concern is when things turn into a unhealthy obession. For Thugo's case (real or troll) when you read something like "I drove by her place and..." or "I was watching her from across the street..." that says its time for a good smackin' upside the head. And ironically, when they finally realize just how far their obsession has taken them it is often a turning point.
I personally go out of my way to make sure each of the the women in my life has an opportunity to learn how to defend themselves. I have good friends that teach professional courses in recognizing threats, self defense and safe/effective firearms skills. I wouldn't wish any obsessed AFC on one of these ladies. And what these extreme One-itis boys often overlook, sometimes there's a he11uva mean dude boffing his "choosen one" and if her pitbull gets a whiff of chump meat he's a gonner.
Perhaps a very obvious single thread needs to be started by the more senior members which does the following:
1.) Point out the symptoms of One-itis / fixation / obsession
2.) Explain why it is a problem and that it's logical conclusion is failure
3.) Include some required reading (ie links to a handful of other good posts)
4.) Then open discussion by individuals on the board possibly describing what cases of one-itis may have cost them, how they found their way out, what they accomplished afterwards, advice, tips, etc.
...then when these cases come in (which will continue to happen), steer them 1st to read this thread and then ask them to come back to their post with decisions and solutions instead of rationalizations and excuses. If they are learning and using this site constructively, it will be good to help/watch. If they get mired in crying about losing their "soulmate" I'm sure R.T. will kindly terminate their thread!
One last note, it's almost therapy in itself reading these posts. It keeps a guy from forgetting how bad one-itis can be (which is a good thing).
From that point on, I have tried my best to not even bring up that ex. And more importantly, to give them as little thought as possible. There is no better feeling than about 2-4 weeks into getting over the sh!t when you actually catch yourself starting to wonder and then forcefully stop the thought process and redirect the mind to something more useful.
I learned (and in a bunch of cases, relearned) things to help in the future. And most important of all, finding back that confidence I p!ssed away getting fixated on something that wasn't supposed to be.
For the extreme cases on One-itis I think the biggest concern is when things turn into a unhealthy obession. For Thugo's case (real or troll) when you read something like "I drove by her place and..." or "I was watching her from across the street..." that says its time for a good smackin' upside the head. And ironically, when they finally realize just how far their obsession has taken them it is often a turning point.
I personally go out of my way to make sure each of the the women in my life has an opportunity to learn how to defend themselves. I have good friends that teach professional courses in recognizing threats, self defense and safe/effective firearms skills. I wouldn't wish any obsessed AFC on one of these ladies. And what these extreme One-itis boys often overlook, sometimes there's a he11uva mean dude boffing his "choosen one" and if her pitbull gets a whiff of chump meat he's a gonner.
Perhaps a very obvious single thread needs to be started by the more senior members which does the following:
1.) Point out the symptoms of One-itis / fixation / obsession
2.) Explain why it is a problem and that it's logical conclusion is failure
3.) Include some required reading (ie links to a handful of other good posts)
4.) Then open discussion by individuals on the board possibly describing what cases of one-itis may have cost them, how they found their way out, what they accomplished afterwards, advice, tips, etc.
...then when these cases come in (which will continue to happen), steer them 1st to read this thread and then ask them to come back to their post with decisions and solutions instead of rationalizations and excuses. If they are learning and using this site constructively, it will be good to help/watch. If they get mired in crying about losing their "soulmate" I'm sure R.T. will kindly terminate their thread!
One last note, it's almost therapy in itself reading these posts. It keeps a guy from forgetting how bad one-itis can be (which is a good thing).