Worst Cases of One-Itis

[Desdinova]

Is it just me, or does this forum end up with guys who have the absolute worst cases of One-itis? I mean, we have Thugo with his five year one-itis. He's entitled to a grieving period after a LTR has come to an end, but to drag it out for five years?

Then we have LFDG who has had One-itis for his step-daughter for 17 years!

I'm no stranger to the whole One-itis disease. The relationship with my first gf lasted for six months. When I was dropped hard on my ass, I went into my grieving period. Even worse, she moved away! I needed to find her and make her mine again. For three years, I thought about how I was going to do a search for her when I became an adult, and make that woman mine again. After all, nothing is stronger than love!

At the end of those three years, I finally woke the fvck up to reality. She was probably fvcking some other guy. She didn't love me. Nothing could make her love me. She was gone. I wasted three years of my life grieving my loss. I looked back on the whole experience and couldn't believe I wasted three years of my life mourning over some girl. I hated myself for allowing such a thing to eat up a big chunk of my life. I wrote myself a journal entry, telling myself that there are much better things to spend my time and energy on. It was then that I made an oath to never again waste so much time over a woman leaving.

...and I never have again. The most I've wasted since then was a month which was much more reasonable. It's just not worth all the energy and time to grieve over a woman who doesn't love you.

 

[Thugo]

Is it just me, or does this forum end up with guys who have the absolute worst cases of One-itis? I mean, we have Thugo with his five year one-itis. He's entitled to a grieving period after a LTR has come to an end, but to drag it out for five years?

Then we have LFDG who has had One-itis for his step-daughter for 17 years!

I'm no stranger to the whole One-itis disease. The relationship with my first gf lasted for six months. When I was dropped hard on my ass, I went into my grieving period. Even worse, she moved away! I needed to find her and make her mine again. For three years, I thought about how I was going to do a search for her when I became an adult, and make that woman mine again. After all, nothing is stronger than love!

At the end of those three years, I finally woke the fvck up to reality. She was probably fvcking some other guy. She didn't love me. Nothing could make her love me. She was gone. I wasted three years of my life grieving my loss. I looked back on the whole experience and couldn't believe I wasted three years of my life mourning over some girl. I hated myself for allowing such a thing to eat up a big chunk of my life. I wrote myself a journal entry, telling myself that there are much better things to spend my time and energy on. It was then that I made an oath to never again waste so much time over a woman leaving.

...and I never have again. The most I've wasted since then was a month which was much more reasonable. It's just not worth all the energy and time to grieve over a woman who doesn't love you.

I agree. It's terrible. But I have a plan.

 

[Thugo]

Putting one's hopes, life, faith, and emotions in the hands of another is very unhealthy.

Yes, once you forget about the woman and move on, your life is freed up.


It's like a cancer man, you got to cut that **** out.

Its like, escaping from a ball and chain that's pulling you deep into the ocean.

You forget her by seeing her for what she is, versus some mythical angel you built her up to be in your own mind.

men are just as guilty as women of projecting their fantasies onto flesh and blood human beings.

as long as you make her the symbol of your ultimate desires, you are out right ****ed.

 

[Vulpine]

My favorite is when they argue that they aren't being chumps. "No, this one really IS the one. I mean, she's PERFECT." "I've been with plenty of women, but I have to say that she is the best one by far. That's why I... (insert AFC behavior here)" "No guys, you don't know like I do. She's great, I mean, really great. Without her, I'm nothing."

Right, that's why she slept with your best friend, crashed your car, had your dog put to sleep, drained your bank account, and is married to the postman right now. She's a regular wonder of the world.

 

[Latinoman]

The thing with Thugo is that he is "30". He claims he was 20 and she was 27 when that happened a little over FIVE YEARS AGO!

So...what's wrong with this picture?

Basic mathematics! Five years ago he was 25...a little over fight years ago...he was maybe 24 or 23. That is...assuming he is 30.

Something is not adding up.

 

[Latinoman]

I have noticed that it is not just in this board. It is in other similar boards as well. And worst...in real life too!

Men are starting to talk and think like women. Perhaps is how television have programmed many of them? Perhaps is the "single mother" syndrome of which many are by-products?

The Western men has womanized himself to a point that women are starting to find attractive the "men's men". The chosen few. Us.

 

[Thugo]

The thing with Thugo is that he is "30". He claims he was 20 and she was 27 when that happened a little over FIVE YEARS AGO!

So...what's wrong with this picture?

Basic mathematics! Five years ago he was 25...a little over fight years ago...he was maybe 24 or 23. That is...assuming he is 30. And forget the number man.. I dint rememeber all the dates.
Something is not adding up.

Im really 28. She's 35 now, and I bet if I showed her a rack of $$$$$$$$$$$$ she'd be cominig back. Seriously, I want this girl. As for the dates and years who knows... all I know is she was 7 years older than me.

 

[Vulpine]

So you're a troll AND a liar, great. We needed some more of those around here.

 

[speedo_meme]

Thugo is a troll. Now it should add up.

 

[KontrollerX]

Well as I've said in previous posts the majority of guys whose horrible breakup posts I've read on this forum where they detail the relationship the girl was clearly exhibiting signs of having a Cluster B Personality Disorder the sufferers of which this forum rightly refers to as AW's.

AW's are hypnotists and you are locked in their spell long after they have used you up and moved on.

If you can't break free of this hypnosis it becomes severe oneitis as you are mourning the fake image that sick girl created for you of her in your mind so that you would shower her with love and attention and not just the regular variety but obsessive love and attention as they want parental like love from the men in their life to replace that which they didn't receive from their actual parents as a child.

The cases of normal oneitis from simply being in love with a regular girl that moved on is probably just the result of Hollywood soulmate b.s and being raised in a culture that promotes and endorses the Hollywood soulmate fallacy.

The guy seeing his family and friends believing it too buys in without questioning it and gets hypnotized into this destructive idealistic view which gets him attached unfortunately to some girl that isn't worth the spit needed to shine his shoes.

 

[Thugo]

Fine Spede_meme since you have a hardon for a troll so bad why don't you call your girl under the bridge.

 

[Vulpine]

Such charm, no wonder he's such a hit with the high school girls.

 

[speedo_meme]

hahaha he put some thought into that insult....first it was "call my girl" then he edited it to say "call my girl under the bridge", which makes about as much sense as he does....

 

[WestCoaster]

Classic thread closing line by Rollo below ... again, laughed so hard almost spit up my glass of water:

******************************
Oh for fvck sake,...

Thread closed.
*******************************

Thugo can't see the forest for the trees.

 

[Vulpine]

I saw that too and actually laughed out loud. Classic.

We are all pretty grumpy this Monday, aren't we folks? I know I didn't get a turkey, so I'm kinda torqued about that. Heard some gobbles, called in a couple, but they never came in to get blasted. It was my first time out so I had no idea they "hung up" or knew about "strut patterns". Honestly, I had no idea about anything. I wish I knew BEFORE I went out, I'd be eatin' a turkey sandwich about now. I mean, for a beginner I was rockin' the calls. But I didn't know to adjust the volume of the calls once a turkey arrived on the scene. I had no idea, so I asked and started reading up.

Strangely enough, this is the difference between AFC's and rAFC's. AFC's would stay in the woods turkeyless and not learn from their mistakes or even recognize mistakes. Whereas rAFC's or DJ's figured that whatever they were doing wasn't working and decided to adopt better practices or at least understand their mistakes so they could avoid them. rAFC's and DJ's know that mistakes are going to happen and continue to hunt and learn from those mistakes. AFC's turn their hobby into gun collecting (using tricks and pickup lines) and shooting at the range (masturbating to porn).

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

THUGO = troll

Go on and keep the topic flowing, but don't take this guy seriously. His story is so full of holes I'm ashamed to say I replied to the thread. He knows exactly the whiney, girly, sterotypical AFC responses to bait guys who should know better.

 

[WestCoaster]

Funny stuff

Good analogy on hunting, loved it.

Here's what all oneitis guys should do about their ex or gal they're obsessed with.

Find out where they go to the bathroom, walk in right after the deed is done and they'll find out that yes, their sh-t does stink!

Enough with the pedestal placing around here ... sadly, I've done it in the past, that's why it's so painful to hear. Brings back bad memories.

 

[ElChoclo]

No pedestals, no Thugos. Just men who can spell the names of their occupations, discussing things which men who are real human beings might discuss, if they were so inclined.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Thugo is a troll. Now it should add up.

1+1= AFC-hole.

 

[Captain AFC]

I have to confess that in this case, I'm also guilty of the one-itis trap for the ex-fiancee. I have to continually remind myself to stop "checking up" on what she's doing or saying.

On the other hand, this site has worked WONDERS in terms of understanding how male/female interaction works, and I can say with confidence that despite my slip ups, I'm on the road to rAFC-dom. I'm still floundering on the number close thing though. I get the interest, but don't go for it. Ah well.

The pedestal thing is the hardest to break, and also the most depressing aspect of an AFC. I put my ex on a pedestal so high it was obnoxious. It's still somewhat obnoxious, and I haven't talked ot the person in a year. Part of it, I guess, is my ego. I can't believe I got dropped, on one hand. The other part... I don't know what it is. The funny thing is that when I let the situation go and go out and relax, and be a "man," I run into people that are not only actually interested in me, but also a far better match. You get a different relationship.

I suppose the ultimate goal is that, no matter what kind of relationship you find yourself in, you don't go back to the old ways of supplicating and falling into that fake, fancy romantic world that permeates novels and television, regardless if it is was marriage or the "hot relationship." You learn to simply call things as they are and go foward.

I'm still working on that part. I suppose the worse part for me, right now, is that I can see when another guy is "supplicating" in a relationship, or whether he's doing this or that and digging himself in a hole, but I can't apply that same logic to myself at times. Strange.