Worse Than The Friend Zone

[crazyrican]

I am lucky enough that I get pretty close to the girls I like, but appearently I get to close and for some reason the samething happens. Not only do they just wanna be friends they consider me as a brother and that's when you know you have no chance. Out of the last three gilrs I've liked all three of them said that I am like a brother to them. I don't know if it's because I'm too nice or what Im doing so wrong that makes them think of me that way. I mean It's not that bad that they see me like that cuz that means they're comfortable around me, but that's not how I want them to see me.

Can you guys think of why it is that happens to me and some ways I can try to get away from that happening again.

 

[Charm]

Can you say incest? Haha. You're not in a terrible situation if you know how to use your current situation to your advantage. Since this girl thinks of you as a brother and close friend, you can have her help you meet other women and girls. You can tell her that you're glad you have a friend like her and ask her to introduce you to more of her friends. See if she and her friends want to go out. You can use her social circle and her fondness of you as a friend to build rapport and get access to people she knows. Also, you can go out with her as friends and have her presence validate you as being a guy who women are comfortable being around. Your situation can actually be useful if you can let go of the fact that she might not want to fvck you, and focus on the fact that she might be able to help you hook up with other women.

 

[mpimpin]

Can you say incest? Haha. You're not in a terrible situation if you know how to use your current situation to your advantage. Since this girl thinks of you as a brother and close friend, you can have her help you meet other women and girls. You can tell her that you're glad you have a friend like her and ask her to introduce you to more of her friends. See if she and her friends want to go out. You can use her social circle and her fondness of you as a friend to build rapport and get access to people she knows. Also, you can go out with her as friends and have her presence validate you as being a guy who women are comfortable being around. Your situation can actually be useful if you can let go of the fact that she might not want to fvck you, and focus on the fact that she might be able to help you hook up with other women.

This is correct, but one small flaw. Don't ask her to introduce you to her friends. Make her do it without asking. But you can definetely gain a lot from her friendship

 

[abcd_z]

Yeesh.

Okay, have his "sisters" introduce him to his other friends. Right, okay, then what?

See, the problem is not in them. It has to do with how the original poster interacts with women. And as a great man once said, "if you keep doing what you've always done, you're gonna get what you've always got." Even if they do introduce him to other women, he's still going to act the same way, and they'll still respond the same way. Just friends. Blech.

So what's the solution? I don't know. It's different for different people. Personally, I'd suggest a PUA-style approach of GFTOW, but that's not that great unless your main goal is to get laid, and you have a strong inner game to back it up.

And as for your post, you've told us the end results, but nothing leading up to them. What sort of interactions do you have with your girl-friends? Do you ever try to kiss them or flirt with them or even touch them? Do you, in short, try to take the interaction to the next level as soon as possible? Somehow, I doubt it. But I could be wrong, let us know.

 

[comic_relief]

I am lucky enough that I get pretty close to the girls I like, but appearently I get to close and for some reason the samething happens. Not only do they just wanna be friends they consider me as a brother and that's when you know you have no chance. Out of the last three gilrs I've liked all three of them said that I am like a brother to them. I don't know if it's because I'm too nice or what Im doing so wrong that makes them think of me that way. I mean It's not that bad that they see me like that cuz that means they're comfortable around me, but that's not how I want them to see me.

Can you guys think of why it is that happens to me and some ways I can try to get away from that happening again.

First thing that came to my mind was "Ever consider incest?"

What your problem is is not that you are nice but the problem is that you don't make a move. You make friends with the girls and then finally decide to try to go out with them. Within the first week ask for their number and make a move. Stop being so damn girly. Grab your testicles and go after her.

Women (mostly low self-esteem and unattractive women) try to do what you do. Personally I used to do what you did but now I go straight for the number (whenever I am single).

You must change your way that you interact with women. You must grab your testes and go approach and become a friggen man.

comic_relief

 

[girlsarecrazy]

You need to remain more of a mystery! Don't give out your life story out so easily. Make them earn it!

 

[Macgyver]

If the girl wasn't attracted to you in the first place or was interested in you after further knowing you more (through rapport), then that's that.

Being a mysterious or showing a sexual side really won't do much except increase interest, but only very slight.

I mean come on, be realistic - Would your sexual interest in a 300lb grotesque fat chick increase even if she was rubbing your shoulders or being mysterious?

 

[crazyrican]

I feel like a loser for admitting this, but it's almost exactly a year from when I started this thread...and nothing has changed. Now I'm best friend with the girl I like the most which is cool and all, but not where I want to be. Well after a long night of drinking I called her and we were talking and she said that I would make a great boyfriend and make any girl really happy. I told her she didn't mean it cuz if she did why wouldn't she want to be happy. She said "I don't see you in that way."

We're always on the phone and doing things together. Her friends call me her husband and my friends make fun of me and call her my wife. This is a stupid question, but: "It's a lost cause isn't it?"

 

[rrrrr]

I feel like a loser for admitting this, but it's almost exactly a year from when I started this thread...and nothing has changed. Now I'm best friend with the girl I like the most which is cool and all, but not where I want to be. Well after a long night of drinking I called her and we were talking and she said that I would make a great boyfriend and make any girl really happy. I told her she didn't mean it cuz if she did why wouldn't she want to be happy. She said "I don't see you in that way."

We're always on the phone and doing things together. Her friends call me her husband and my friends make fun of me and call her my wife. This is a stupid question, but: "It's a lost cause isn't it?"

No it's not. You need to start hanging out with guys and see how they treat women they like, etc. I'll bet anything your guy friends approach women in a totally different manner than you do. Observe this. Observe the little things. Are you putting them on pedestals and always there for them? Why is being "best friends" with the girl you like cool and all? It's not cool at all, because you don't want to be her best friend. THen you said, "you don't mean it" when she said you'd make a great boyfriend, when you sould have said something along the lines of "of course I would" or be confident in some way.

You probably get off on her friends calling you husband, etc. But that's not going to cut it. I just think you're going about this in the wrong way trying to be these women's friend. If you're AFC and "best friends" you need to do something about it. Either a) continue to do this the rest of your life b) settle for a fat ugly girl, or c) become a man. First of all are you in shape? Maybe you should start hanging out with men for a change to go out with women. Observe these guys that don't have this problem.

abcd_z gave sage advice when he said the problem is not them. You need to look upon yourself with more self esteem.

 

[HaremMasterThomas]

Some girls will only regard you as being her freind, others will see you as relationship material, others will only want a one night stand, whilst others won't want anything to do with you at all, it is just one of lifes mysteries, keep sarging until you get what you want.

 

[Lars Porsenna]

Worse than the friend zone...?

Well I can top that...

Been out with a gorgeous 25 y.o. brunette 1,82m big titted HB9,5 last weekend, went to a concert. One of those chicks that gets all the heads turned on the street and everybody salivating. Got in good kino, had a fun time together.

And now she tells me she has "fatherly" feelings for me... that´s right, not friggin sisterly or motherly or like a friend, but "fatherly".

My ballz shrunk to the size of peanuts.

Can anybody top that?
Hope it´s at least a consolation to you...

 

[Luke Skywalker]

I feel like a loser for admitting this, but it's almost exactly a year from when I started this thread...and nothing has changed. Now I'm best friend with the girl I like the most which is cool and all, but not where I want to be. Well after a long night of drinking I called her and we were talking and she said that I would make a great boyfriend and make any girl really happy. I told her she didn't mean it cuz if she did why wouldn't she want to be happy. She said "I don't see you in that way."

We're always on the phone and doing things together. Her friends call me her husband and my friends make fun of me and call her my wife. This is a stupid question, but: "It's a lost cause isn't it?"

Well, it sort of sucks you know. You like the girl, but she doesn't have any feelings towards you. When a real alpha male comes into her life she'll forget your name and go all over him and then cry to you after when he dumps her like a hot potatoe while saying she cant even kiss you because she doesn't see you that way leaving you into a perpetual virgin. Yeah, I know it sucks.

But is this arrangement really worth it for you? You only have limited mental capacity, and if this girl is occupying your energies, your thoughts, feelings and time, and to some capacity she's making you feel special (although not the way you want), then how are you going to meet new women into your life if you are occupied with her?

I'd stay just stop communicating with her, and really put an effort to meet new people, and make a choice that you only want serious people in your life and NOT be used as an emotional tampon that will get tossed aside when an alpha male gets in the picture. You are going by her terms in the interaction. How about she goes by your terms or she gets the boot?

 

[Play the Game]

Worse than the friend zone...?

Well I can top that...

Been out with a gorgeous 25 y.o. brunette 1,82m big titted HB9,5 last weekend, went to a concert. One of those chicks that gets all the heads turned on the street and everybody salivating. Got in good kino, had a fun time together.

And now she tells me she has "fatherly" feelings for me... that´s right, not friggin sisterly or motherly or like a friend, but "fatherly".

My ballz shrunk to the size of peanuts.

Can anybody top that?
Hope it´s at least a consolation to you...

Ever heard of the Electra Complex?
Why you guys always dwell on the negatives. Just say... who's your daddy? lol

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electra_complex

 

[Wyldfire]

Just so you all know...Play the Game is a troll.

 

[Lars Porsenna]

Ever heard of the Electra Complex?
Why you guys always dwell on the negatives. Just say... who's your daddy? lol

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electra_complex

That would be the other way round... if she would feel like a daughter to me.... but that´s not it

@Wyldfire - interesting, have you ever felt like the father of the guy you were dating? Maybe it´s some cryptic w0manese...

 

[Wyldfire]

That would be the other way round... if she would feel like a daughter to me.... but that´s not it

@Wyldfire - interesting, have you ever felt like the father of the guy you were dating? Maybe it´s some cryptic w0manese...

I suspect that you meant to ask if I ever felt like the mother of the guy I was dating. Not really. I did date one guy for about 8 months who seemed to try to put me into a similar role, but I don't do relationships where one person either insists on having or giving one person more authority over the other person. I ended up breaking up with him. He relied on me too much and I felt it wasn't good for him and that he needed to learn to rely on himself instead. I tried to help him do that while in the relationship with him, but he just kept turning to me for help all the time and I felt like staying with him would enable self-defeating behavior on his part. He was a great person and I couldn't stand watching him do that to himself, so I ended it with a full explanation why.

 

[Play the Game]

I think you should be giving advice on how to be single and lonely.... :crackup:
The only thing these guys need is a pair of balls, otherwise they're going to spend the rest of their lives on a leash running in circles and wondering why they can't catch their tail.