Worrying about my gf cheating on me

[Viper423]

I've been going out with my girlfriend for about 5 months now. We are perfect for each other and she has told me she wants to marry me and talks about marriage and our future all the time. Well, she has some guy friends that she has known way before she met me. I get really jealous for some reason when she tells me she is going out with her friend "Tiffany" I always think that she's out with some guy cheating on me.

One night we went out to eat and one of her guy friends was working at the place that we went to and she's like,"Hey, what grade did you get on that paper?" I asked her later what she meant and she was like, oh me and tiffany went over to his apartment last week and helped him with an english paper. I always ask her when she calls me at night what she did during the day and that never came up.

Other times I have looked at her phone record and there is this one guy friend that she has that is actually an ex-boyfriend that calls her and she calls him. Am i just being a worrywort? See, I also have a mild case of obsesive compulsive disorder that I have been diognosed with because I worry a lot. She has told me numerous times that she wouldn't cheat on me and for me to get over my jealousy, but I just can't stop thinking about her cheating on me. What should I do?

 

[johnny_chase]

well, dont freak out. That's the worst thing if you really like this girl. I would suggest killing all the mystery (that's the worst part that makes you all crazy) and ask to meet tiffany, and all of your gf friends. Dont be crazy about it though, be like "i wanna get to know your friends better so they can become my friends" or something along those lines of being non confrontational

peace man, and remember, just relax; she wants to spend time with you. Be cool

 

[AFK Protector]

ok here's what you do man. You go on with your life, I know it's hard and all, but just go with it and dno't marry her just yet. Be on the look out for signs, but don't ask her about it. I mean, if a thief was stealing from you and you asked him, would he tell you? Hell no!

So this is where you gotta be a little more discreet. Put up a mask. Be carefree on the outside like you forgot about the whole cheating thing. If she's really cheating on you, then she will be fooled and let her guard down I guess and you will catch her riding "Tiffany." If not, everything is a okay and then you can live happily ever after.

Another thing you can do that my 16 year old mind has thought of it do go skating or something with her and invite her to bring along "Tiffany." If she keeps on declining, or is kind of stunned, then continue with my plan and just keep being discreet about it. Sooner or later you will find out, but once you realize you're not finding anything, don't keep digging because there is always a chance she's NOT cheating on you. Jealousy isn't cool dude. I have it, you have it, we all have it, but most of us keep in hidden so people don't see you're jealous. got it? good. and good luck too.

 

[AlbanianPimp]

for one thing dont listen to johnny chase above, he obviously knows nothing about woman.

I will ask you 1 question and I'll give you the answer.

question: How often during the week do you have sex. Has the sex with her decreased?

If so, Shes banging that ex boyfreind.

listen, theres a GOOD reason that ex still calls her.

do you call woman just to say Hi? haha, I think not.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Let's review what you've told us:

1. You get jealous of your girls friends of the past.
2. You feel that she lies to you.
3. You want her to tell you about all of her whereabouts.
4. You check her phone records.
5. You have OCD (which isn't a problem in by itself).
PLUS
6. It sounds as if you have some self esteem issues.
7. You definitely have trust issues.

Let's see, if she decides to marry you given all of this baggage, it would give her some things to consider when wondering if she could have done better.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by AlbanianPimp
...
listen, theres a GOOD reason that ex still calls her.

do you call woman just to say Hi? haha, I think not.

Now this is just a bunch of noise. Women define themselves by being able to hold onto friendships, even if it is with old boyfriends. We've all dated women who wanted to keep in touch and just be friends.

I'm still good friends with no less than 3 of my ex's ex boyfriends (we're all in the same bike club). I could care less if they called or hung out with us. The fact is that they were no competition to me. There was nothing that they could do while we were dating that would make her cheat.

Now I'm just waiting for her to get a new boyfriend to bring around to introduce to her ex's. To tell you the truth, I'd be surprised if she's introduce me to him. It will just point out that she's taking a step down to find someone closer to her speed.

 

[Trance]

A lot of guys try send sms and call my GF. I just talked about it with her.

Me: You know, i'm a guy, and we guys NEVER call a girl or ask her out unless we have 2nd intentions with her.
Her: Yes, i know that, i'm not nief, i just talk normally and put them on their place.
Me: Cool.

Beautifull women always have some guys trying to get some. The basis of a relation has to be trust and respect.

 

[Intheirheads]

my idea regarding this- man trust her but be ready for anything

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Trance
Beautifull women always have some guys trying to get some. The basis of a relation has to be trust and respect.

Exactly.

 

[christz]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Exactly.

only some take advantage of the situation and get their cake and eat it to because they know they can, because they know that the guy their with would do nothing to lose the girl regaurdless of the circumstance.

 

[WORKEROUTER]

Don't let those other ****ers get in your way!

YOU are the man. Act like it. Take control. Be explicit.

Don't be a pansy and start whining about your gf has guy friends. If she wants to have guy friends, then guess what...SHE WILL! You being all confrontational about it is just going to make you seem insecure. You have to act like those guys are there...but compared to YOU they are second-rate! You couldn't give a damn about them because to YOU they aren't worth giving a damn about!

This is the level of confidence you need to have.

 

[dietzcoi]

However, if she is talking about marriage, etc, after just five months, I would watch out.

Despite what the other posters say, YOU cannot marry her with these issues unresolved. If YOU think she might be cheating, YOU have to take action to resolve this opinion. It is not a trivial matter.

Don't let some of these bad postings get you down. If you feel something is wrong, you have to go with your gut feeling. DO not ignore it. THere is probably something unseemly going on. You need to find out what it is.

Do not believe a woman's statements, instead observe her ACTIONS.

Dietzcoi

 

[Ladiesssman]

I'm not a don juan. But this is my attitude. If you don't trust her, don't fall for her. Don't be obssessed either. You're digging your own grave.

At the same time, just have fun while you're with her. Don't bother mentioning or even thinking if she's cheating on you.

If you want to get even, make friends with other girls.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by christz
only some take advantage of the situation and get their cake and eat it to because they know they can, because they know that the guy their with would do nothing to lose the girl regaurdless of the circumstance.

They do that only because the guy allows it. It's his fault for choosing to stay with a woman like that. If he wants to play that game he should be man enough to be able to handle whatever outcome that comes about.

 

[Fenderules]

yeah hope it works out for ya man

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Originally posted by dietzcoi
However, if she is talking about marriage, etc, after just five months, I would watch out.

Despite what the other posters say, YOU cannot marry her with these issues unresolved. If YOU think she might be cheating, YOU have to take action to resolve this opinion. It is not a trivial matter.

Don't let some of these bad postings get you down. If you feel something is wrong, you have to go with your gut feeling. DO not ignore it. THere is probably something unseemly going on. You need to find out what it is.

Do not believe a woman's statements, instead observe her ACTIONS.

Dietzcoi

This is the basic, but if you follow this concept you´ll succeed.

Anyway, an ex in the background is pretty strange. You have to find out if she has a lot of guy friends and few female friends. This will give you the idea of what kind of girl you´re dealing with.

By the way, find ways to stop being so jealous. It WILL mess up your success.

 

[NewMan]

You will never hold down a solid relationship if you keep acting insecure.

Why go looking for trouble????

Deal with it - IF and WHEN it comes to you.

You ralready checking her phone #'s - think about that - how does that make you look? and feel?

If you don't trust her - move on. I don't know how you can live your life worrying about sh#t like this. Unless your the type of guy that loves looking for drama.