Worn out

[Bingo-Player]

I have spent a lot of time, money and energy this year on socialising and social activity

naturally I am not the most extroverted person and generally prefer my peace and quiet however on the flip side of the coin being 30 and in a relatively new city I was becoming increasingly aware that my old social circles were dying and I needed to establish new ones

So I took action started trying to talk to everyone and anyone that gave me the opportunity too , and I have met a few guys whom could become very good freinds in the future

As I can't stand swipe apps and old , I have poured countless hours into putting myself into environments and situations where I have the best possible chances of meeting women not to mention the amount of cold approaches I've forced myself to do

at the start of the year I set myself the target of approaching 50 women , I think have probably now done close to 100

I have had some minor successes and this isn't purely a post of me moaning and groaning , but the returns especially with females have been less than overwhelming I know a lot of it is right person right time

But I am sitting here this morning absolutely exhausted with it , I feel like I need to go and sit in a cabin in the woods for a month with zero contact from anyone or anything

 

[ThisIsSparta]

For most men comes a point in life, when peace and quiet outwheighs chasing pvssy.

Imagine all that time and energy burned in building/maintaining social circles just to get in a position to start hitting on women.

If your old social circles are dying because you moved to a new city, its an indication that your "very good friends" wherent that good at all.
What makes you think that you will find "very good friends" now?

I mean, lets face it..... the older you get the less good friends you are going to have. The people in social circles most of the time do not qualify as much more then acquaintances that forget about you as soon as your out of their sight for a month.

How much time are you going to invest in new social circles a month? Will it be worth the pvssy you get out of it?

 

[Bingo-Player]

For most men comes a point in life, when peace and quiet outwheighs chasing pvssy.

Imagine all that time and energy burned in building/maintaining social circles just to get in a position to start hitting on women.

If your old social circles are dying because you moved to a new city, its an indication that your "very good friends" wherent that good at all.
What makes you think that you will find "very good friends" now?

I mean, lets face it..... the older you get the less good friends you are going to have. The people in social circles most of the time do not qualify as much more then acquaintances that forget about you as soon as your out of their sight for a month.

How much time are you going to invest in new social circles a month? Will it be worth the pvssy you get out of it?

People are 10-20X more cautious of a loner, women I would say probably a 100X

This ideology of going out on your own In the evenings and running cold approach is absolute fantasy, if you are single and in any way attractive to the opposite sex then you need friends around you

I mean chirst even back in 2005 the pickup artists were trying to go out in groups

other than running day to day errands its pretty much sacrilege for a single woman to be seen anywhere on her own

 

[Dr.Suave]

I feel like I need to go and sit in a cabin in the woods for a month with zero contact from anyone or anything

Do it. Or something as close as possible. Go "Monk Mode" and stop chasing poozy for a while. Nothing wrong with taking a break from chasing poozy every once in a while.

 

[Bingo-Player]

This is going to sound weird but today I approached a chick in my gym easily HB8 elite shape

Not seen her there before but she was super nice , very feminine and softly spoken exactly what I like in a female

We only chatted for like 5 mins but even just from that I feel like her vibe has reinvigorated me a bit

Maybe I have just been spending too much time with the wrong types of people

 

[Barrister]

OP,

I didn't read that first post as being that you are "worn out" from dating so much as just worn out from going out a lot and socializing in general. I have been there before in my life as well, and I have found that having personal time is just as important as cultivating social/professional ties (since there's many times a lot of overlap with that). I think having those free weekends where you either recharge or do an activity that is basically just you being in your solitary space is important.

I do think it is important to see women as a byproduct of your social and professional circles. Those things definitely open the door to potential women for dating, but I think you get into trouble if you view women as the primary reason for doing those things and can find yourself in ruts more often. Not saying that is what happened here - but merely something to watch for.

 

[Bible_Belt]

People are 10-20X more cautious of a loner, women I would say probably a 100X

Unless you have a dog or a motorcycle.

 

[Ricky]

Are you drinking alcohol when you go out? I am findinf alcohol disturbs my sleep more than before which leads to poor recovery, lowered mood etc

 

[TheEveningChronograph]

Are you drinking alcohol when you go out? I am findinf alcohol disturbs my sleep more than before which leads to poor recovery, lowered mood etc

This has been my experience the past two weeks where I've upped my time going out and partying with or without friends. As usual, a lot of the keyboard jockeying on here gets it wrong. But yes Ricky, I do get exhausted combining this with more intense summer workout routines. I'm going to make the most of my time here because I'm departing the area in a month.

 

[Foe]

We only chatted for like 5 mins but even just from that I feel like her vibe has reinvigorated me a bit
Maybe I have just been spending too much time with the wrong types of people

Ive always seen my social ability like a battery, alcohol pumps it up to max for a night at the expense of 2 days of low energy. A good conversation with a girl as you just experienced charges it and a bad experience depletes it.

Its all well and good to say choose better types of people but often you dont know until its too late, they have already pumped or dumped you. The true testament to your ability to attract people is first of all being in the game and second how much positive energy you can bring to the table. Its your resilience that determines your outcome.

In saying that when you are being smashed by negative forces a easy way to recharge is to remove all of them and rebuild your center of excellence doing what you love.

At least you are trying, many dont even do that, puts you ahead of the majority.

 

[jnMissouri]

For most men comes a point in life, when peace and quiet outwheighs chasing pvssy.

This, I'm barely over 40 and with a body count approaching 100, that even though I was in relationships most of my adult life, save my early twenties where I couldn't close and was the nice guy, did all the wrong things.

I personally am at a point I had a lot of fun but realize women are crazy and next to useless as far as relationships, so I'm keeping my money for myself and focusing on building a life of happiness without women eventually. I can't see myself dating at 50...

 

[Free_Agent]

This, I'm barely over 40 and with a body count approaching 100, that even though I was in relationships most of my adult life, save my early twenties where I couldn't close and was the nice guy, did all the wrong things.

I personally am at a point I had a lot of fun but realize women are crazy and next to useless as far as relationships, so I'm keeping my money for myself and focusing on building a life of happiness without women eventually. I can't see myself dating at 50...

Smart. I just broke up with a girl I was dating for almost 3 years post divorce. It was a train wreck outlined in a pretty big thread here a few months back.

Then recently I met a new one. 17 years younger than I and even more red flags. lol

I've had my kids. I've done the marriage trap and survived. I'm successful, good looking, and in great shape with nearly unlimited freedom. I'm not going to waste money chasing tail anymore. One passes by and is low effort I'll entertain just a FWB situation but I'm done with any kind of monogamous / committed / serious relationships.

I've also went ahead a deleted all OLD apps. What a time suck

 

[Killakittie]

I have spent a lot of time, money and energy this year on socialising and social activity

naturally I am not the most extroverted person and generally prefer my peace and quiet however on the flip side of the coin being 30 and in a relatively new city I was becoming increasingly aware that my old social circles were dying and I needed to establish new ones

So I took action started trying to talk to everyone and anyone that gave me the opportunity too , and I have met a few guys whom could become very good freinds in the future

As I can't stand swipe apps and old , I have poured countless hours into putting myself into environments and situations where I have the best possible chances of meeting women not to mention the amount of cold approaches I've forced myself to do

at the start of the year I set myself the target of approaching 50 women , I think have probably now done close to 100

I have had some minor successes and this isn't purely a post of me moaning and groaning , but the returns especially with females have been less than overwhelming I know a lot of it is right person right time

But I am sitting here this morning absolutely exhausted with it , I feel like I need to go and sit in a cabin in the woods for a month with zero contact from anyone or anything

Balance my brother.. If you feel tired then adjust and do something else. The important thing is that you are being genuine to yourself and not forcing yourself to do anything or you will come across as unnatural and odd. If you can find a nice balance the women you do cross paths with will be more at ease and comfortable around you.

 

[jnMissouri]

Smart. I just broke up with a girl I was dating for almost 3 years post divorce. It was a train wreck outlined in a pretty big thread here a few months back.

Then recently I met a new one. 17 years younger than I and even more red flags. lol

I've had my kids. I've done the marriage trap and survived. I'm successful, good looking, and in great shape with nearly unlimited freedom. I'm not going to waste money chasing tail anymore. One passes by and is low effort I'll entertain just a FWB situation but I'm done with any kind of monogamous / committed / serious relationships.

I've also went ahead a deleted all OLD apps. What a time suck

Smart! Keep your money. At this point in life it's about less headaches...sex is overrated, mostly it's about validation these days.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Ive always seen my social ability like a battery, alcohol pumps it up to max for a night at the expense of 2 days of low energy. A good conversation with a girl as you just experienced charges it and a bad experience depletes it.

Its all well and good to say choose better types of people but often you dont know until its too late, they have already pumped or dumped you. The true testament to your ability to attract people is first of all being in the game and second how much positive energy you can bring to the table. Its your resilience that determines your outcome.

In saying that when you are being smashed by negative forces a easy way to recharge is to remove all of them and rebuild your center of excellence doing what you love.

At least you are trying, many dont even do that, puts you ahead of the majority.

Good post and I agree with all points

Like I said the investment ive made this year hasn't been terrible I have at least 2 guys which could potentially become great friends and I have a permanent fvck buddy from it

I think it's just the volume of activity I had to go through to get that small return above that was daunting me. however I am aware that at any given time I can meet the correct types of people I>E ( gym girl )

I am trying to incorporate yoga into my daily routine as I find it seems to chill me out a lot and slow my mind / life down

thinking I may try to find a local yoga class next week try to make some connections there

 

[logicallefty]

OP, I am getting right there with you. Just went through a divorce earlier this year. After that I hooked up with a chick I had met through mutual friends, railed her a few times. Then had a little fling with an ex for a few weeks right before I left my old State. Moved to a new State. Plenty of women to pick from. I prefer women + or - a few years in age of myself and my new State is flooded with them. I had a date scheduled for tonight and I just canceled it and logged into SS. Just not feeling like putting in the effort with women right now. For now I am tired of any and all things women. Glad to see this thread already here, cuz I was gonna make my own about this topic.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Online Dating. You can do both