Work Place Relationships.

[felony]

Hey Djs,

This thread is designed to provide and gather information about workplace relationships of any type. I have tried a search on this topic but the results were poor. Post any advice, thoughts, things to watch out for in regard to macking/sarging/Fb'ing/Gf'ing any worthwhile prospects at work.

I have no experience so far in this field but i have 'heard' that mixing professional time and personal time is generally discouraged. Any thoughts? Just recently a new girl has started work in my team. I work as a waitor. I find her attractive and wouldn't mind taking things further with her.

I'm not sure how to approach this situation as the environment doesn't seem to lend itself to my cause. Especially when i'm (and likely her too) tired, worn out and feel dirty. Having the added dimension of a 'friend with benefits' at work would be nice, if not just to liven things up a bit.

Should i be watching out for other co-workers? Should i be encouraging her out to pre-work lunches etc?- keeping things away from the working environment? Any work place law regulations i need to watch out for? Under no circumstances do i want either her or I to lose our jobs etc.

So post up. How do Djs make the most of these unfavourable situations? Or am i looking at this the wrong way? Is this in fact ideal?

f.

 

[Ice Cold]

I just turned down an HB8.5 cause I care about my job.

My rule is: Then you enter a co-worker relationship, consider your job gone. (not that you'll lose it in 100% of the cases, but there's a good chance) So I fukked a co-worker only in sh1t jobs that teens do.

So if you need your job, don't even start it. There are other places to hook up.

If you don't care, hit it. But you'll prolly blow it, cause you have no idea what you're talking about.

Should i be watching out for other co-workers? Should i be encouraging her out to pre-work lunches etc?- keeping things away from the working environment?

Ugh. Just approach her and start a FRIENDLY conversation.

Both of you have in common a job, swetiness and tiredness. So talk about that.

"It's been a rough day today, don't you agree?"

Then talk about how long she works, what she wants to do in her life, if life were perfect and she could have anything, what would she do? etc

I wouldn't ask her out during the first convo. Let the attraction build up cause u see each other every day.

Insted, I suggest you make her love you. It will take 2-3 weeks. Read "art of seduction" by robert greene.

 

[SDBmania]

Let's see...

Just start out as friends and see where it goes. This gets a little bit tricky here. For me, I'm not supposed to date co-workers unless they are at a different store. So, the only time I would ask a co-worker out is if I had an emotional connection to her. Like a crush or something. At that rate, if it got serious, I would transfer or change jobs. There are practicle reasons not to date co-workers(like if things go bad and then you have to see her again at work). So, it just depends on how you feel. I would say only act if you feel you have to. I always say, Love is more important then a job, especially if it's not you career.

 

[TheMainMan]

Mate,

Don't ever go there! Not if you care for your job.

When things f*** up you have to see her everyday, its a f****** nightmare and your work will suffer.

If its a job that you dont plan to stay in too long then yeah it will brighten the day and make things interesting but if its your career from experience it just aint worth it.

 

[becker]

I'm in a situation now where I'm going after co-workers. The only problem I see is that I wouldn't go after them unless they're like that rare HB that you really haven't seen too often. If they're run of the mill, ordinary good looking girls, those may be found anywhere. It's only worth it if you've found a girl who would end all desires for other women that you might have. Hopefully that narrows it down and either makes you not go after any or when you do, it will really be when it counts.

 

[Cremasta]

This is one of the few situations where I would say its a good idea for co-workers to become good friends first.

I haven't actually dated anyone from work so can't comment on that. Though I had two girls who were good friends of mine, probably for a year or two it was just friendly with a (very) small amount of flirting. About a month or so after discovering this site I turned them both into f-buddies. Everything is still great with them on a professional and friendly level. It probably just depends on the girl... and yes, they do know about each other.

Though I think the 'friends' thing gives an element of trust which is needed, because everyone stands to lose big time if it all goes south. If its just f-buddies you are looking for, you need to know that people aren't going to go shooting their mouth off at work, social functions, etc. Because many people will look on it in a bad light, especially upper management.

 

[elvis aint dead yet]

It all depends. If your a teen, then by all means, your job is probably not your career and you'll def have a good chance of hooking up with a co-worker. Back in high school, many girls I met where either from where I worked at or close to where I worked at.

But as you grow older and begin your career, it's just not worth it. There are many places where it's against company policy for co-workers to become involved. Sometimes they do, but in most cases, it will wind up in disaster. Esp in this sue happy society.

Don't ever undere estimate the power of a womens revenge and the power of lawyers and money.

If you like your career, don't even think about it. It's too risky, because as most that come to this site can attest, you meet some HB at your work, and you just want to bang her.

To me, it's a bad idea when your older and working on a career. Too many people I know or have read about have lost their careers because they wanted a little HB action. It's not just the fact you'll lose your job, it could be that your might ruin your career if it's a women who wants that power.

Put it this way, you are moving up the ladder, you start dating a HB, then you get a raise and a promotion. You already banged the other HB, and still might be stringing her along or not, but she thinks you two are at least friends with benefits.

You do not promote her or speak highly to somebody who will promote her when you get promoted. She does not take this kindly.

Say what you want, in many careers and jobs, bad pubicity usually results in a career suicide.

Do it if you want, but as you get closer to 30 years old and beyond, just hooking up with a HB co-worker is usually not worth it. Esp if you worked hard in college, grad school, then at work to get promoted and so on. ALl that work will be gone and sometimes, your entire career will be gone. Word spreads fast.

"it won't happen to me."

As we all know, many women are psycho. Don't be surprised if that quick hookup at work results in trouble down the line.


Again if you just have a job and not a career, go for it. If your young, go for it.

But if you like your job, like your career, why risk it for some HB.

 

[NatureGuy]

I've actually seen co-workers get married, so it seems to work sometimes. Generally,
I would say going out with someone at
the same company or workplace is OK, so
long as you don't work directly with them
in the same group or under the same
manager.

 

[JohnJones]

I will defend it not just because I am in one but because outside of college and as people get older, most couples meet through work.

As to post-relationship fallout, I am not sure its unlike dating in high school or any small-school situation like law school or grad school (granted, you can't get fired) in that you end up spending time with them even if it ends badly. You should be reasonably careful about who you select anyway.


If it is just a hookup, I would look elsewhere or at least only hookup with the co-worker's friends.

 

[elvis aint dead yet]

Thats what I was trying to say. If you think it might work out, go for it. But if you are just looking to get laid, usually, the workplace environment is the wrong place just to hook up. Too many bad things can happen.


But if you think it might work out, go for it, if it doesn't, it might be weird at times, but at least you both gave it a try.

ANd I do agree, as you get older, there are less and less places to meet somebody you actually would be interested in. As clubs and bars become old hat and boring, and malls and all those other things become hangouts for college aged girls and high school girls.

again, if you just wanna get laid, do not try and use people you work with when your older and this is your career.

But if you wanna try to see if something works out, then by all means, at least try it.