If you ask a woman for advice on picking up women and dating, she will always say "Just be yourself." The second most common advice is, "You will find a girl when you stop looking."
Just be yourself ... when has that ever applied to any human interaction where something is at stake? Does it apply to sales? To stage performances? To job interviews? What if your "be yourself" is to wear sweatpants, not shower, swear, and talk about your beercan collection? If the advice instead had been "Don't act fake," then it would be true. But as we all know you can always improve who you are, and there are always things to keep in mind, like not talking too much about yourself. In anything you do, you can improve.
So why do women keep saying it? Because (1) they don't have any advice to give on dating, and (2) they don't want men to improve in picking up women. They are more loyal to those women than to you. If you would improve, that would mean you'd be in a better position versus the women you pick up, and women are instinctively hostile toward that prospect. They want men to serve themselves on a platter for women to choose from.
On top of that, they can't imagine a man being good at picking up women - other than imagining him as a sleazy, dishonest creep who treats women badly and then dumps them. That's what they have seen on teevee, so it must be true.
About "You will find a girl when you stop looking," it is one of those things that sound wise because they are paradoxical. If you actually listen to what it means, it is downright stupid. How would you meet more women by just going to work and then back home every day, never talking to anyone new? Again, women don't want you to hit on women. They don't want you to go looking, or do anything else that gives you an advantage. They want men served on a platter to choose from.
Much like people want a salesman to only list the facts of a product, and then say nothing more. But that's a salesman that will never sell anything. Why? Because people aren't rational. Maybe 10 percent of the population listen to facts only, but to the rest, emotions and other people's opinions are more important. So even when the product is good - whether it is the salesman's product, or you - people won't buy it when it is presented without flair.
Of course, they imagine themselves to be rational. The customers imagine that they look at products objectively. The women imagine that they look at men objectively. To puff their egos, they brag about not being affected by a clever sales pitch. So how is it that the aggressive salesman, or the aggressive PUA, scores time and again while the rest don't?
But this is not something you can talk to women about. No matter how well you explain it, they will imagine you to be a sleazy, lying SOB for suggesting that there's something more to picking up girls than "just being yourself." You can't undo what they have seen in TV shows, or the stories they have heard from other women. You will only make them suspicious of you.
So the moral of the story is: never ask women for dating advice. Just be yourself - if your self is the kind that never stops improving his game.
Just be yourself ... when has that ever applied to any human interaction where something is at stake? Does it apply to sales? To stage performances? To job interviews? What if your "be yourself" is to wear sweatpants, not shower, swear, and talk about your beercan collection? If the advice instead had been "Don't act fake," then it would be true. But as we all know you can always improve who you are, and there are always things to keep in mind, like not talking too much about yourself. In anything you do, you can improve.
So why do women keep saying it? Because (1) they don't have any advice to give on dating, and (2) they don't want men to improve in picking up women. They are more loyal to those women than to you. If you would improve, that would mean you'd be in a better position versus the women you pick up, and women are instinctively hostile toward that prospect. They want men to serve themselves on a platter for women to choose from.
On top of that, they can't imagine a man being good at picking up women - other than imagining him as a sleazy, dishonest creep who treats women badly and then dumps them. That's what they have seen on teevee, so it must be true.
About "You will find a girl when you stop looking," it is one of those things that sound wise because they are paradoxical. If you actually listen to what it means, it is downright stupid. How would you meet more women by just going to work and then back home every day, never talking to anyone new? Again, women don't want you to hit on women. They don't want you to go looking, or do anything else that gives you an advantage. They want men served on a platter to choose from.
Much like people want a salesman to only list the facts of a product, and then say nothing more. But that's a salesman that will never sell anything. Why? Because people aren't rational. Maybe 10 percent of the population listen to facts only, but to the rest, emotions and other people's opinions are more important. So even when the product is good - whether it is the salesman's product, or you - people won't buy it when it is presented without flair.
Of course, they imagine themselves to be rational. The customers imagine that they look at products objectively. The women imagine that they look at men objectively. To puff their egos, they brag about not being affected by a clever sales pitch. So how is it that the aggressive salesman, or the aggressive PUA, scores time and again while the rest don't?
But this is not something you can talk to women about. No matter how well you explain it, they will imagine you to be a sleazy, lying SOB for suggesting that there's something more to picking up girls than "just being yourself." You can't undo what they have seen in TV shows, or the stories they have heard from other women. You will only make them suspicious of you.
So the moral of the story is: never ask women for dating advice. Just be yourself - if your self is the kind that never stops improving his game.
