Women with low self-esteem...

[Latinoman]

men keep leaving her because of her passive aggressive attitude, her low self esteem and self worth.men want assertive and confident women just as women want assertive and confident men.
what does this mean? shes going to continue to sleep around too fast with anyone hoping to land a man, and then they are going to realise this and walk away too, which will lead her confidence and worth down even more.

its a nasty spiral.

As long as she still looking for men in MySpace and other on-line places...the outcome most likely be the same.

 

[kyphan]

My ex-fiance (I'm happy every time I write that down, thank heavens we did not get hitched) did not have low self-esteem in general, but she did have trouble handling life when it got hard and in certain areas she did not believe in herself. When she was happy none of it mattered, but as soon as anything went wrong it was, "Oh, I'll never be able to afford a house here, let's move, my job sucks, they won't promote me, I don't want to work for someone else, nag nag nag nag nag you didn't do this and that, kyphan!"

It went away once, but when it came back I knew this would be the ebb and flow of her life. She was always going to be like this.

Run away. Run away as fast as you can. They will bring you down. Find someone else, you cannot, will not, and shall never "save" a low self-esteem woman or a woman who does not believe in herself.

 

[Latinoman]

My ex-fiance (I'm happy every time I write that down, thank heavens we did not get hitched) did not have low self-esteem in general, but she did have trouble handling life when it got hard and in certain areas she did not believe in herself. When she was happy none of it mattered, but as soon as anything went wrong it was, "Oh, I'll never be able to afford a house here, let's move, my job sucks, they won't promote me, I don't want to work for someone else, nag nag nag nag nag you didn't do this and that, kyphan!"

It went away once, but when it came back I knew this would be the ebb and flow of her life. She was always going to be like this.

Run away. Run away as fast as you can. They will bring you down. Find someone else, you cannot, will not, and shall never "save" a low self-esteem woman or a woman who does not believe in herself.

I agree with you.

I understand somebody VERY young. As they still can be reformed with less work. But other than that?

 

[penkitten]

My ex-fiance (I'm happy every time I write that down, thank heavens we did not get hitched) did not have low self-esteem in general, but she did have trouble handling life when it got hard and in certain areas she did not believe in herself. When she was happy none of it mattered, but as soon as anything went wrong it was, "Oh, I'll never be able to afford a house here, let's move, my job sucks, they won't promote me, I don't want to work for someone else, nag nag nag nag nag you didn't do this and that, kyphan!"

It went away once, but when it came back I knew this would be the ebb and flow of her life. She was always going to be like this.

Run away. Run away as fast as you can. They will bring you down. Find someone else, you cannot, will not, and shall never "save" a low self-esteem woman or a woman who does not believe in herself.

if your parents teach you to run away when responsibilites get too hard, then thats what you try to do when you get older too.
we all are born with certain instinct mechanisms they call flight or fright or fight.
depending on how you are raised, these can be stronger than the average instinct.

 

[kyphan]

if your parents teach you to run away when responsibilites get too hard, then thats what you try to do when you get older too.
we all are born with certain instinct mechanisms they call flight or fright or fight.
depending on how you are raised, these can be stronger than the average instinct.

You're right in one sense, part of life is how we were raised, and because of how I was raised I tried to help my ex-fiance for months and months. I stuck around for so long trying to help her out, all she did was cry like a baby that life wasn't "going her way." Her and I were definitely raised in different environments. I'm the type of guy who believes in people and does whatever I can for the people I care about. I tried many things to get her to realize that we were only at the beginning of our careers, that things will change, and that sometimes it takes a lot of work and dedication to make progress. She wanted it now and was willing to make an ultimatum to me on things like buying a house (a year before we married). She was running away from responsibility, I was confronting it head-on. This girl is running away from responsibility and HE is looking to confront it head-on.

Bad. Idea. For. Him.

So yes, I'm telling him to run away. HE is not the problem, and therefore he cannot make things different - only SHE can. Get away from the problems you cannot fix, otherwise you will WASTE your time and efforts when you could have been doing something truly productive.