Women with low self-esteem...

[squirrels]

Ran into one of those recently. We met on MySpace...hooked up (didn't fvck but did "everything up to"), then she started getting all quirky. She was always shy. Eventually gives me the, "Let's just fvck so you can leave me like all the other guys".

Obviously VERY low self-esteem and a lot of confusion. I mean, she's 21, so she's probably just breaking out of her shell and is conflicted, but still, girls with low self-esteem have trouble dealing with other people, especially men, and seem to have no ability to control their feelings related to sex.

What do you do with a girl like that, who has some awesome traits, is attractive, and shows potential, but has miserably low self-esteem?

- Try to date her and hope that she becomes more comfortable with herself around you

- Take advantage of her, fvck her, and dump here

- Just get away and find a girl who CAN handle it

I dunno...I considered the first alternative...even offered to date her for a while and see where it goes, but that kind of backfired and made me seem chumpish...at least that's what I think happened...but I'm not upset at all about that, cuz I kind of wanted to go with option 3 after all was said and done and it's best if she just stops trying to get in touch with me. I can't do option 2...as much as I want to, I just don't feel right sport-fvcking a girl who's gonna go home and cry about being "used".

Probably #3 is the best option...but it always feels like I'm copping out, that I should at least give the girl a CHANCE. Something about the vulnerability of a girl like that triggers some kind of daddy-instinct in me or something, I guess. I don't know.

How do you deal with a low self-esteemer when you encounter her?

 

[Vulpine]

Harsh. Ok, after this, I'm thinking that after this that young chicks are purposely playing to the rescuer/savior/save-a-ho mentality. I had a chick doing this type of stuff recently, but, she plays the game. My brain screams slvt, AW, playa... then I second guess myself and think she might be the real deal with low self-esteem - I just have a nasty gut feeling about it: I might actually be bullying a impressionable woman, harming her even MORE.

I can't help suspect that it's a power-play of some sort, and it's tough to call.

I've been conducting some tests to try to determine actual low self-esteem, or if she's playing some game. All the tests come up with results that I didn't expect - I can't tell either way. So my default is to not be a sucker and get dragged into saving a ho.

Look at the facts: 21, met off myspace, everything up to fux... then the head games start.

I'm leaning more towards slvt and ASD scenario than low self-esteem. But, low self-esteemers seem to be the slvts, so it's a pickle.

All my interactions with the low self-esteemers usually go down in flames because I have a hard time believing some hotties actually, genuinely think that little of themselves.

When I really think hard about "what to do" I end up at: Wait, maybe she's onto something. What is good about her? What is bad about her? Yeah, I guess she should have low self-esteem.

If you REALLY want to stick around, make sure you have GOOD reasons and aren't saving a ho. Personally, it turns me off when a hot chick tries to cover herself when naked around me because she thinks the has ugly t!tties, or is fat, or has a big butt... when she's pretty hot (more importantly I think she's hot). It's hard to believe that it's genuine and not "fishing for compliments" all the time.

Then again, with women in media being portrayed as skinny and beautiful, it is certainly understandable how young women would ALL have complexes.

 

[squirrels]

This girl is a solid "9". She knows she's hot...although she acts like she doesn't believe it. She's just really struggling with her sexuality right now...she's always been a "good girl", but she's starting to realize that she really wants to f*ck, but she feels mass-guilt when she does it outside of a relationship.

It's kind of a F'd up situation. She started dating this 27-year-old cop when she was 19, I think she really got impressioned a certain way, she was all happily-ever-after in love with him, then he cheated on her, now she's just going on a self-destructive cycle of binge-drinking and sex and she hates herself for it, blah blah blah...

So I threw it out there...let's just date like normal people and see where it goes. If nothing else, we'll enjoy each other's company, but you gotta drop the shy low-self-esteem sh!t and learn to appreciate both the "good girl" and the "bad girl".

She hasn't responded yet. I'm starting to think maybe I should've just sport-f*cked her, but if I had she'd probably be a class-5 clinger. I don't have the heart to just f*ck a girl and leave her when I know it'll hurt her feelings. I'll do that with a girl who I feel is strong enough emotionally to handle a hook-up. It's just a crying shame because she probably woudl've been an awesome f*ck. It's always hard to throw away a chance of hot sex with a hot girl...I feel like I shouldn't give a f*ck and should take advantage of the situation for myself, because SOMEONE will, but it's just not in me.

Deep down I know she's gotta work this out herself, but I think she's just going through a phase that she'll hopefully outgrow. But the truth is, f*ck it. I'm doing her a favor by throwing that offer out to keep seeing her. She needs me more than I need her. If she thinks I'm chump-ish for telling her I like her and I want to help her through this phase, then oh well.

Why do girls have to make such a big deal out of sex? Hell, why do GUYS have to make such a big deal out of it and act like creeps and weirdos over it? Sex is dumb. Sure, it's a blast, but in the end, it's just another game to play. Casual sex should be truly casual, for both parties.

 

[Drum&Bass]

I'm not familiar with your situation but it shouldn't be a hard choice at all...

I considered the first alternative...even offered to date her for a while and see where it goes, but that kind of backfired and made me seem chumpish...at least that's what I think happened

why did it make you seem chumpish ?? how did it backfire ??

I can't do option 2...as much as I want to, I just don't feel right sport-fvcking a girl who's gonna go home and cry about being "used".

duh

it always feels like I'm copping out, that I should at least give the girl a CHANCE. Something about the vulnerability of a girl like that triggers some kind of daddy-instinct in me or something

your kind of weird dude, but...I think you feel like your copping out because you really like this girl..but you been reading to much sosuave so you think your acting like an AFC.

I should at least give the girl a CHANCE. Something about the vulnerability of a girl like that triggers some kind of daddy-instinct in me or something

get your ego in check, you go out with a girl because you like her and enjoy her company...NOT because you think your doing her a favor by becoming her knight in shining armor.

in all honesty you probably should choose option 3 and stay away from her. if it always feels like your copping out you probably lack strength in the desicion making department and the confidence department.

when you become a stronger man you won't need to come on sosuave to figure out what to do or handle the situation your in, you'll be able to reason out how you feel and decide whether or not taking the risk is worth it (how much are you able to put up with to maintain minimum emotional damage).

KBJ'ing at its best kid !!! and what !!!

 

[squirrels]

KBJ'ing at its best kid !!! and what !!!

LOL what?

 

[edger]

Ran into one of those recently. We met on MySpace...hooked up (didn't fvck but did "everything up to"), then she started getting all quirky. She was always shy. Eventually gives me the, "Let's just fvck so you can leave me like all the other guys".

Obviously VERY low self-esteem and a lot of confusion. I mean, she's 21, so she's probably just breaking out of her shell and is conflicted, but still, girls with low self-esteem have trouble dealing with other people, especially men, and seem to have no ability to control their feelings related to sex.

What do you do with a girl like that, who has some awesome traits, is attractive, and shows potential, but has miserably low self-esteem?

- Try to date her and hope that she becomes more comfortable with herself around you

- Take advantage of her, fvck her, and dump here

- Just get away and find a girl who CAN handle it

I dunno...I considered the first alternative...even offered to date her for a while and see where it goes, but that kind of backfired and made me seem chumpish...at least that's what I think happened...but I'm not upset at all about that, cuz I kind of wanted to go with option 3 after all was said and done and it's best if she just stops trying to get in touch with me. I can't do option 2...as much as I want to, I just don't feel right sport-fvcking a girl who's gonna go home and cry about being "used".

Probably #3 is the best option...but it always feels like I'm copping out, that I should at least give the girl a CHANCE. Something about the vulnerability of a girl like that triggers some kind of daddy-instinct in me or something, I guess. I don't know.

How do you deal with a low self-esteemer when you encounter her?

Vulpine said it right...a chick that's attractive or hot ALWAYS knows it. She knows it because she's always getting hit on, guys are always sending her MySpace messages/picture comments(if she's on MySpace), guys are always looking at her in public with that "I wanna f**k you" look, etc. etc. etc. Now think about it, after all that kind of attention, how can a chick like that have low self-esteem? She can't. Chicks like this are looking for nothing more than compliments and having their fragile wittle ego's floated some more. I've said in a past post of mine that enough is never enough in terms of having their ego's boosted. Pretty pathetic!

So my advice to you is to ignore her pathetic bantering. Just continue f**king the dumb b*tch, hard and good..the whining little attention ***** that she is.

 

[squirrels]

I think what I SHOULD'VE done is just refused to acknowledge the BS in the first place. When she said that sh!t, "Oh just fvck me already so you can leave me", I should've thrown it back in her face saying I wasn't gonna deal with it, then gone to bed.

You know what? I think you're absolutely right. I think I got hosed.

Oh well, lesson learned...hot chicks play dirty.

Damn...lesson learned.

 

[( . )( . )]

I think what I SHOULD'VE done is just refused to acknowledge the BS in the first place. When she said that sh!t, "Oh just fvck me already so you can leave me", I should've thrown it back in her face saying I wasn't gonna deal with it, then gone to bed.

You know what? I think you're absolutely right. I think I got hosed.

Yeah you did and I'm surprised you even entered her reality for as long as you did with something so textbook lame as ""Let's just fvck so you can leave me like all the other guys"".

What you think just because she's LSE normal chick sh!t doesnt apply here?, you bet your ass she loves the c@ck and will find another a$$hole to reem her out if and when you do decide ""Oh I think I might just take the "moral highground" and bail on the poor hard done by flower.""

Not that you should even give 2 sh!ts because again your entering her reality just by pondering it but heres a new one for you.

""Oh just fvck me already so you can leave me like all the other guys""

Subconscious chickese:

""But I do love all the other guys, nothing in the world will change that. And the chaotic drama it creates for me....well FVCK is it getting hot in here or what? Boy do I love what it is to be a woman.""

 

[squirrels]

Dude I went out tonight and witnessed things that I find hard to believe, even after all this time.

Are women REALLY like this? Jeezus Christ, and society thinks MEN are hard-up for sex.

It's so radical a deviation from standard thinking I can't even get my head around it...if I COULD, I would be getting ten kinds of laid.

I can't believe I fell for this ****.

 

[joekerr31]

im surprised no one has mentioned the major red flag in all this.

if shes an HB9 - WHAT THE F*CK IS GOING ON THAT MEN KEEP LEAVING HER? and dont say low self esteem - 95% of men would not leave an HB9 because of low self esteem,

i mean, most men will put up with A LOT of sh*t before they dump an hb9.

something very very amiss with this girl dude.

tread carefully.


oh, and also a little note on women who play the victim. a lot of guys think to themselves - "awww, poor chic, the world has treated her badly and now she doesn't beleive in herself. well, not to worry, ill be the knight in shinning armor."

a lot of guys think that as they play the savior the woman will suddenly believe that life can be fun and great and then she'll turn into the perfect woman who believes in herself etc.

but heres the problem. these women have low self esteem and think poorly of themselves, men and life FOR A REASON! perhaps they feel that way because THEY SHOULD.

perhaps they have f*cked over 12 men before meeting you. perhaps they let 4 sleazy strangers gang bang her on spring vacation when she was 21 on spring break.

the point is a lot of times these women are f*cked up FOR GOOD REASON!!!! they have low self esteem because they don't respect themselves, and they dont respect themselves because they've done sh*t they aren't proud of in their life.

so many men want to step in a rescue them not realizing that you CANNOT save a woman from her past actions. you cannot absolve her of the time when she lied to her bf about being pregnant and screwed up his life.

this is why i keep telling guys over and over and over - find yourself a HIGH quality woman from the get go! because trust me, you WILL NOT be able to change a LOW QUALITY woman into a HIGH quality one. 99.999% of the time it simply cant be done.

 

[white sox bill]

im surprised no one has mentioned the major red flag in all this.

if shes an HB9 - WHAT THE F*CK IS GOING ON THAT MEN KEEP LEAVING HER? and dont say low self esteem - 95% of men would not leave an HB9 because of low self esteem,

i mean, most men will put up with A LOT of sh*t before they dump an hb9.

something very very amiss with this girl dude.

tread carefully.


oh, and also a little note on women who play the victim. a lot of guys think to themselves - "awww, poor chic, the world has treated her badly and now she doesn't beleive in herself. well, not to worry, ill be the knight in shinning armor."

a lot of guys think that as they play the savior the woman will suddenly believe that life can be fun and great and then she'll turn into the perfect woman who believes in herself etc.

but heres the problem. these women have low self esteem and think poorly of themselves, men and life FOR A REASON! perhaps they feel that way because THEY SHOULD.

perhaps they have f*cked over 12 men before meeting you. perhaps they let 4 sleazy strangers gang bang her on spring vacation when she was 21 on spring break.

the point is a lot of times these women are f*cked up FOR GOOD REASON!!!! they have low self esteem because they don't respect themselves, and they dont respect themselves because they've done sh*t they aren't proud of in their life.

so many men want to step in a rescue them not realizing that you CANNOT save a woman from her past actions. you cannot absolve her of the time when she lied to her bf about being pregnant and screwed up his life.

this is why i keep telling guys over and over and over - find yourself a HIGH quality woman from the get go! because trust me, you WILL NOT be able to change a LOW QUALITY woman into a HIGH quality one. 99.999% of the time it simply cant be done.

Well put Joe, took words from my mouth. LSE women WILL screw you around most of the time. They feel intimitated by confident guy. Don't try and be that shining knight. Most time it will never work. Sure keep them around for FB's if you want. They are BRAINWASHED and no amount of soap will cleanse them of it. They are all head cases, I'm dealing w/one of my ex's now and have decided to grudge f*ck her, but I will be a d*ck to her to sleep with her again, no more AFC which strangely attracked her in first place last yr.

 

[Vulpine]

Ok, so I sent an random e-mail to the LSE girl in question. I worded some some stuff covertly so as to give her the impression "she is not in control, I only let her feel that way".

Almost instantly, the phone rings and she's all "OMG! No, YOU rahahaha... You thisandthat... I don't blabblahblab..."

Yep. She called on the offensive trying to get the frame back by accusing, blaming, justifying.... she threw out every little trick in the book in the span of 5 minutes. Ranting, and raving, she proved without a doubt that she's no LSE girl - that's just her game. She countered some covert communication with an overt offense - oops baby - right into open. Meanwhile, I got to be all "WTF? Settle down, you're freaking out. Why are you so riled up?" playing laid back to keep with the covert theme. :crackup: She started to raise her voice at that point. "Wow, I don't know what you had for lunch but it must not be sitting right - call me when you take some antacid. Bye."

Funny... you know the whistling sound of old bombs dropping? All I could hear when she was squawking, flip-flopping, and squirming on the phone was: (air raid sirens flaring up in the background.) SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW -- KABOOOM!
Right to the bottom of the list.

 

[penkitten]

men keep leaving her because of her passive aggressive attitude, her low self esteem and self worth.men want assertive and confident women just as women want assertive and confident men.
what does this mean? shes going to continue to sleep around too fast with anyone hoping to land a man, and then they are going to realise this and walk away too, which will lead her confidence and worth down even more.

its a nasty spiral.

its all up to you on what you wanna do. do you feel like dealing with a chick that will be extra needy and will latch onto you??

heres the thing, until some guy comes along and gives her a real shot, despite how low she feels about herself, and lets her realise that she is more than what she gives herself credit for, her esteem ain't gonna be coming up anytime soon. im not saying that its gonna be happily ever after , and i dont think it will be in the end, but someone has to give her a boost in the right direction at some point or she will end up like one of those nasty bitter femi-nazis.

 

[Faca]

Somebody said it before, that her acting weak is bull****. A women said this actually to me: that they will act weaker on purpose, cause they know that her acting weaker can get more done with the men.. then acting strong. I have been guilty of this a couple of times, trying to be the savior.. but as you guessed it.. it always backfired!

When she complains, she doesn't want advice nor does she want you to rescue her! She is there because she chooses to! Have you ever seen a hot chick trying to rescue an AFC from his destructive thinking pattern? No, cause he has to become aware of that.

Now i'm the same with the weak chiks, i just cant fvck them and leave them. Only the chicks that can handle it, and are not afraid of her sexuality.

 

[Desdinova]

All women pull this crap to some extent. There's three reasons they do it:

#1 - They want pity
#2 - They want attention
#3 - They really do have low self-esteem

When a woman pulls it early in the "relationship", it's a big red flag that you've likely encountered #3, the LSE girl. These are the woman who have either played #1 and #2 to death, or their parents were "emotionally abusive". They're the ones who actually believe the crap that they say. Staying with a LSE woman will make your life a living hell.

Women who use #1 and #2 don't necessarily have LSE, they're just feeling like crap and are fishing for a compliment to make them feel better. Don't buy into it because nothing you say will make them feel better. They have to do that themselves.

 

[squirrels]

All women pull this crap to some extent. There's three reasons they do it:

#1 - They want pity
#2 - They want attention
#3 - They really do have low self-esteem

When a woman pulls it early in the "relationship", it's a big red flag that you've likely encountered #3, the LSE girl. These are the woman who have either played #1 and #2 to death, or their parents were "emotionally abusive". They're the ones who actually believe the crap that they say. Staying with a LSE woman will make your life a living hell.

Women who use #1 and #2 don't necessarily have LSE, they're just feeling like crap and are fishing for a compliment to make them feel better. Don't buy into it because nothing you say will make them feel better. They have to do that themselves.

I think it is LSE...her last dude really got in her head when she was most impressionable and then cheated on her.

She doesn't want to start dating me because she's afraid I'll leave her too, which is probably likely. But you never know...I'm willing to take risks that she isn't.

What I SHOULD do is just stop trying to be discreet and offer to fvck her.

 

[Desdinova]

She doesn't want to start dating me because she's afraid I'll leave her too, which is probably likely. But you never know...I'm willing to take risks that she isn't.

I'll tell you, that 5hit never goes away either. If her self-esteem is that low, she will never fully trust you around other women. Would you want a woman who pulls this 5hit everytime you talk to, or even look at another woman?

All women, including LSE women have their good qualities. But how much garbage are you willing to put up with just to see her good qualities once in a while? If you just use her for a fvck toy, she'll be giving you guilt trips and 5hit to try and make you feel horrible for what you're doing. You're better off to get a fvck buddy who is truly in it for no strings attached sex.

 

[wheelin&dealin]

Women with low self-esteem...

I've had one of those. I would dangle her along and bring her out to clubs with you. Use her as a trophy. Other women will notice that you're with a hot chick. They'll take interest in you and then you can scoop numbers like no tommorrow.

 

[Faca]

I've had one of those. I would dangle her along and bring her out to clubs with you. Use her as a trophy. Other women will notice that you're with a hot chick. They'll take interest in you and then you can scoop numbers like no tommorrow.

A real man doesn't need a women in order to get a women. :nono:

For me the best approach has been honesty en direct approach, and if she's giving you a hard time then next her. If you have to over-analyse and think a lot about what her intentions are then it aint going right.

To quote Anti-Dump: You buy a relationship, you don't build one. The girl must meet your expectations...You ain't there to pick up the pieces! If you aint fvcking her soon, then dont give her attention.

 

[Latinoman]

the point is a lot of times these women are f*cked up FOR GOOD REASON!!!! they have low self esteem because they don't respect themselves, and they dont respect themselves because they've done sh*t they aren't proud of in their life.

so many men want to step in a rescue them not realizing that you CANNOT save a woman from her past actions. you cannot absolve her of the time when she lied to her bf about being pregnant and screwed up his life.

this is why i keep telling guys over and over and over - find yourself a HIGH quality woman from the get go! because trust me, you WILL NOT be able to change a LOW QUALITY woman into a HIGH quality one. 99.999% of the time it simply cant be done.

I agree completely.

They might go into hibernation when they are older and more experience (to lure a man in) and then come out of the hibernation stages when things start not going their way.